Sleepless Fate

by Janae Keyes

  “I will mom, I promise,” I uttered.

  In almost an instant I thought of Brielle. She was a kind soul with the best heart. I remembered being with her in school and how she was always the first to volunteer when someone needed anything. I learned not just humility, but benevolence from her. If only she knew these things.

  I thought about how she was waiting for this guy to wake up. Back in college, I saw him pick her up a few times. He was a nursing student and would be in scrubs half the time. There was something about the way he looked at her that rubbed me the wrong way. Then there were the times she would come to class with puffy eyes, it was obvious she had been crying, I knew it was him making her cry. Could she really love this guy who made her cry the way he did? Did she really want to wait for him? She’d waited two years. She needed something and someone more.

  “Earth to Patrick,” faded in my mom’s voice. My eyes shot up to hers right away. I hadn’t realized that I’d become so lost in my own thoughts. “Everything alright?”

  “Yeah,” I answered quickly. “Just thoughts about work.” I gave her a shrug as I forced myself to push Brielle from my mind. She was taken, I had to come to terms with that, but I couldn’t help, but think there was a reason she was back in my life like this.

  Skin, chocolate skin. Soft skin. I allowed my fingers to slide along the voluptuous curves of my beautiful Brielle. She wiggled under my touch. I watched her face, she was enjoying this and I was happy that she was. I needed her so badly. I slipped a hand under the band of her cotton panties. I craved touching the most intimate parts of her body.

  “Patrick,” she groaned out the moment I was able to slip a finger into her pool of moisture. The way my name rolled off her delicate lips was almost too much for me in the moment. I wanted her to say it again and again.

  “FUCK,” I GROWLED as I awoke. There was Brielle again, in my dreams. Her face, voice, and sexy body were haunting me no matter if I was awake or asleep.

  I needed to wash it all away. I couldn’t have Brielle and I knew it, but that didn’t keep my body from lusting after her. Of course the one woman who was intelligent beyond my comprehension and was everything I could ever want and more, was off the market.

  I got out of bed determined to get her out of my mind. I changed into shorts and T-shirt and put on my tennis shoes before grabbing my iPod. I left the apartment I was calling home for the moment and took the elevator down to the gym that was on the third floor of my building.

  This building was home for now. I’d just made my biggest purchase ever and bought myself a gorgeous home right on the water in Sausalito. I would have moved in right away if there wasn’t work to be done on it. It was strange to think I actually had the 4 million dollars to just throw down on this house, a house that I would make my home. A home, I hoped to share one day with a wife and children, at least that was my dream for it.

  It was just after 5AM and the gym was pretty deserted, but this was how I preferred it. I remembered when I first began to workout, working out around other people made me anxious and even now after all the weight loss I would still catch myself nearing a panic attack when I would arrive to a full gym.

  Getting onto the treadmill, I put my earbuds in and started up the machine. Running and listening to Metallica on full blast should shake Brielle from my mind. Normally, I wasn’t a rock guy and preferred the sounds of smooth jazz, but the sensual sounds of jazz would only turn me on more and right now that was the last thing I needed.

  Brielle had me under an intense spell. I let the music take me. I ran hard and fast. I allowed sweat to soak my shirt. I needed to get rid of any thoughts I had of her, but they were only growing with intensity. I wanted to love her. I wanted her to feel loved and have all the love she could ever need. I remember her having so much life in her, but it seemed drained from her. I knew it was from her years of waiting for her fiancé to wake up, but there was more there. Underneath she was drowning and I wanted to save her and bring her above water. As wrong as I felt it was, I was going to love her, I had to.

  Chapter Four

  Brielle

  AN ENTIRE WEEK had passed since I had my first meeting with Patrick, and though I had tried not to, I’d had dreams about him every single night. I couldn’t shake him. Luckily, I didn’t have any more meetings with him for the remainder of that week. I felt as if being close to him wasn’t a good thing. I was trying to keep my loyalty to Keaton as I’d done for the past two years.

  I’d only ever been with Keaton. I could remember the day we decided to go all the way like it was yesterday. We’d been together two years, at that point. We’d just graduated from high school and we were enjoying our summer before it was time to go off to college. Keaton’s aunt and uncle owned a cabin in South Lake Tahoe and they were letting us use it for a week. We’d spent all day out at the lake swimming. When we came in Keaton had decided to go get us some food from a burger joint not far from the cabin. I remembered the way he looked at me when he came back to find me sitting out on the patio, wrapped in a blanket. I remembered the way his fingers touched my skin, and the way his lips kissed me. That night, I knew it would always be him.

  Just thinking about that night made tears well in my eyes. Not long after we’d gotten engaged Keaton told me that when he returned that night and saw me sitting on the patio watching the reflection of the moon on the lake, he knew that I was the girl he was going to marry.

  Quickly, I wiped my eyes and started typing. It was a new week and I did have to finish up this report before I had a meeting with Patrick this afternoon. I sniffed back my tears as I heard a slight knock on my office door and looked up to see April giving me a sad look. Everyone around here was used to me crying in my office.

  “You okay?” April asked softly as she came in and closed the door behind her.

  “Just the norm… thinking of Keaton. Nothing new,” I said with a shrug.

  “Yeah…” her voice trailed off. “You still coming with us to the beach on Saturday?” She questioned. “Both Tori and Ali are excited for you to come with us,” I let out a sigh.

  “Of course I can’t disappoint Ali and Tori,” I said with a forced smile thinking of April’s daughters who were my Goddaughters. “Mom told me she was making papadums. I will bring you some.”

  “Yes!” April cheered punching a fist into the air. “I love mom’s papadums,”

  “Don’t I know it. I remember when you were pregnant with Tori and I was bringing you large batches every week,” I commented to my best friend. “I swear that girl is more Pakistani than me and I’m a forth.”

  “This next one will be too,” She slyly commented. I looked up at my best friend who had a huge smile on her face.

  “What are you talking about?” I questioned instantly needing to know what information she had.

  April reached into her pocket and pulled out a white stick and showed it to me. I could see the word PREGNANT on the small screen in the middle of the stick. My eyes flew between the stick and the huge smile on her face.

  “You aren’t!” I said at once.

  “I am. Just took it this morning. You know Nate and I have been trying for another, for like ever. Well, we’re having another baby, finally,” she said happily. I stood as quickly as possible and ran around my desk to grab my best friend into the biggest hug possible.

  I was so happy for her, but as happy as I was, I could feel a small pang of jealousy. If Keaton had not had his accident, we might have at least one kid by now. We’d always planned to have four kids. We wanted two boys and two girls. Keaton was an only child and he had been keen on having a big family. I was so happy for April, but I felt so sad for myself. It was true that everyone was living their lives around me and here I was, stuck in this spot.

  “Last one?” I questioned. I knew April and Nate only wanted to try for one more to get a boy. Nate had been dying for his little boy.

  “For sure. You know how I get when I’m pregnant,” she stated. I knew how she
got for sure. April’s hormones would go off the charts and if this pregnancy was like her last two, then Nate would be sleeping on the couch, a lot. I let out a yawn. “Not sleeping?”

  “Yes and no... nightmares,” I commented not really wanting to go into it too far though, only I knew the truth. They were not nightmares at all, but precious dreams of lust for a man I knew I shouldn’t be thinking of in that way. I toyed with my engagement ring, which I still wore proudly.

  “Have you been going to your appointments?” April questioned. I knew what appointments she’d been talking about. Last summer, I had a breakdown and my mom insisted I see a therapist. I took off work for a couple months and saw my therapist every single day. It had been about three months since I last went. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I needed it anymore. I looked up at April and shook my head. “Maybe, you could make an appointment.”

  “No, I’m fine. They aren’t those type of nightmares. I’m just… never mind,” I let out a huff. I wasn’t ready to go into those specifics with April, at least not today.

  “You have a meeting with Sexy Pants later, right?” She questioned. I let out a laugh. A part of it was April being funny and another part was the fact that I was having those dreams about him. “I saw him yesterday down in the cafeteria. I should have known then I was pregnant because I wanted to jump the man… Damn he is so fine.”

  “And you are married,” I stated. April rolled her eyes.

  “A girl can imagine, but if he is single… maybe you and…”

  “No!” April looked taken aback at my outburst.

  “Sorry, but you said you knew him and in school he apparently had a crush on you. He might still want you. It would be good for you.”

  “I’m not trying to see anyone. I’m engaged, remember.”

  “Kind of, but Keaton is…”

  “Going to wake up, one day. I believe it. I know it”

  “Okay…” It was obvious that April was ready to leave the conversation and I was too. I didn’t want to talk about any of it anymore. I didn’t want to think about Patrick in the way I was thinking about him. I just wanted Keaton back as always. He would be back one day. I believed it so deeply that it hurt like a deep burning.

  CHECKING MY MAKE-UP in the reflection of the elevator door I instantly felt stupid. There was no reason for me to do this. I was only having a meeting with Patrick, but I felt the need to look pretty for him. The elevator doors opened to the executive floor and instantly the receptionist Layla waved at me happily. Layla was a fun brunette with a bubbly personality who got on April’s last nerve. April was so happy when Layla was promoted up to this floor.

  “Afternoon Layla,” I said kindly to the receptionist.

  “Hey Brielle, Mr. Bailey is waiting for you,” she announced to me. I gave her a nod and a smile before going to Patrick’s office door and like always giving a knock, out of courtesy.

  “Come in,” I heard Patrick’s silky voice call. I let a breath go, knowing I was in a losing battle with my hormones as a felt a tingle between my legs just at the sound of his voice. I opened the door and walked into the office.

  I spotted Patrick right away, but instead of sitting at his desk, he was already sitting on one of the couches. He seemed to still be enjoying his lunch that was on the table. He gave me a smile that seemed to shake me to my core. I wondered if he knew that he was affecting me in this way.

  “Red or white?” He instantly asked me.

  “Huh?” I was confused about his question, until he motioned to two bottles of wine that were sitting on the coffee table. I instantly shook my head. “No thanks.”

  “Are you sure?” He questioned.

  “Perfectly,” I asserted, as I made my way to the couch and sat down. “If you are still having lunch and want me to come later I can.”

  “No, it’s fine. I was pretty much done anyway,” he insisted as he opened one of the folders he had sitting next to him. “I was able to go down to the archives and find some pretty good numbers for us.”

  “You actually went down there?” I questioned, thinking of the damp basement room that held archives of every business transaction our company had ever made. It was never enjoyable to be down there and most people just sent their assistants to do the dirty work of digging through all those boxes.

  “Yeah, I did. I figured I should get acquainted with the place.” I just nodded in response. Patrick once again was flashing his million-dollar smile at me. His honey eyes were really something to marvel at especially when he smiled. I caught myself not breathing and quickly inhaled.

  “Can… can… I see those?” I asked, trying to recover from my moment gawking at this attractive man.

  “Yeah, here you go,” He handed me the folder. The tips of his fingers barely brushed my hand and a shiver instantly ran down my spine. “Your ring is beautiful,” he commented. I peered down at the diamond ring I wore on my left hand that Keaton had given me the night he proposed. This ring meant everything to me and I felt like it was my main connection to him while he was in his current state.

  My eyes scanned over the pages Patrick had presented me with. These were actually really good finds and I was impressed with ability to dig through the records to attain them. I knew it must have taken him hours upon hours to find these gems that would be perfect to present to the board in defense of the rapid changes our project was going to bring about to Core Solutions.

  “These are… WOW!” I acknowledged. I looked up from the papers and into those succulent eyes of his. “How long did it take you to find them?”

  “Forever. I was here until 3am finding these,” he admitted.

  That was real dedication and I was glad in the end that he was now the COO because he truthfully was made for the job. I was going to hold out for CFO, when Old Man Jeffries retired. I looked back down at the folder of papers and I felt the couch shift under me. I barely peered up to see him sitting closer to me. Inhaling, I could now smell his scent of pure ground cinnamon. Smelling him didn’t help me at all, but it made everything I was feeling for him significantly worse and more intense. Fuck, I was going to need that drink now.

  “On second thought, I will take a glass of red,” I dared, knowing that it was the only thing that could calm the buzzing that was coursing through my veins since I couldn’t exactly take a freezing cold shower right this second.

  I watched as Patrick leaned over to the table and picked up an empty glass before filling it with red wine. He handed it to me, our fingers once again brushed against one another. As fast as I could, I took a sip of the burgundy elixir. The moment it hit my tongue, my mouth was filled with delicious flavors of a beautiful dark red grape and hints of cherry and strawberry. This was a very intense and delectable wine.

  “Mm, this is great,” I commented as I eyed the bottle on the coffee table.

  “It is from Gerald’s winery in Napa. He gave me a couple bottles as a welcome on board gift,” Patrick explained to me. Our CEO and Patrick’s step-dad had recently taken over a winery in Napa and everyone in the office was excited about the company Fourth of July bash that was to happen at his winery.

  “I think he has a winner on his hands,” I proclaimed. Patrick seemed to smile as I took another sip.

  “So, I feel like we are not making a strong case for these changes. We just need to figure out if we will start from the top or the bottom,” Patrick said as he’d returned to the project.

  “Yeah… Personally, I would start at the top and work them down. I think it is a better model for these types of changes,” I informed. “See, here a similar model was used about 36 months ago and it seems to have paid off well for the client and our company,” Patrick leaned over to see what I was pointing out. I could smell him again.

  He nodded and at that moment I felt his fingertips on my bare knee. My breath was caught. I had no words and I couldn’t breathe as his hand began to work its way up my leg to the hem of my skirt. I tried to concentrate, but everything was blocked. I knew i
t was wrong, but I couldn’t figure out why I wanted it so badly.

  “Patrick,” I breathed out finally. His eyes locked onto mine. I wanted to jump in and to feel his lips connected with mine. Damn it. I shook my head and regained clearer thought. With no words I removed his hand from my leg. The moment it was gone, I would hate to admit, but I missed it there. He had this wicked spell that he was trying to cast over me and every time he tried, it seemed that his magic was stronger than the last time.

  He said nothing to me in response, but flashed a sweet smile. He was making this hard for me and I was finding myself catching some feelings for him. They were latching onto me like leeches and it was getting harder and harder to shake them off. I wanted to say more and I needed to do it. I couldn’t be with him, no matter how much my body seemed to try and betray me to make me feel like I needed him.

  I went to open my mouth when there was a soft knock at the door. After a brief pause, the door opened and there was Layla the receptionist who seemed a bit flustered. Her cheeks were pink and she was breathing hard.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt Mr. Bailey, but your two o’clock has arrived early and is insisting on having your meeting early,” she sputtered out. I glanced at Patrick, who rolled his eyes. I wanted to laugh at his reaction as I wondered who his two o’clock appointment was.

  “Tell Mrs. Hartwell that I will be only a moment more and we can get started early,” Patrick informed Layla, who nodded and quickly left us in the office closing the door behind her. I instantly knew who his appointment was with and could understand Layla’s panic and Patrick’s reaction. I worked under Eileen Hartwell when I first started at Core Solutions, the woman was a real bitch on wheels. She was demanding, inconsiderate, and a bit scary.

  “I guess we will finish this up at a later date,” I commented before drowning down the rest of my glass of wine and beginning to gather up my things.