Sleepless Fate

by Janae Keyes

  “Over the past two years, no man has ever made me ever want to question the life I was waiting for, the life that there is a good possibility of not happening. You made me question that. You forced me to look at my motives and look at the life that was passing me by. When you kissed me in London, wow.” I grinned like a fool thinking of that first kiss, standing on that bridge, the rain falling down on us. “ I felt so much. I’d never felt that pure electric connection ever, not even with Keaton, and after that kiss, I couldn’t ignore that connection, even though I tried to fight it. I knew if I didn’t try, I would remain frozen in time. So far I like trying and I like trying with you,” I told him the truth. He deserved it and I think in the end he knew the truth. “I’m happy that you understand I can’t jump into this and that I want to take it slow. I’ve never known a romantic life with anyone except Keaton and this scares me a bit, but I’m becoming a believer that fate is at play. And as April says, You don’t fuck with fate,”

  Patrick instantly burst into laughter. “Is April the Dalai Lama or something?” He questioned. I giggled at his question.

  “Yeah, you need to get down with the Church of April. I hear Tom Cruise is trying to get in, but it is a very exclusive club,” I said playfully.

  “And you’re funny. I like that too, a lot,” He gave me a grin before bringing his mouth to mine. I leaned into the kiss. His tongue slipped over my bottom lip and without hesitation I parted my lips to allow its entrance. He gripped me hard with the one hand he had wrapped around my waist. I was being taken away by his kiss. I was completely under his spell and there was no chance of it being broken any time soon.

  “Excuse me, but the first course will be served momentarily,” Called a voice. Patrick groaned and broke away from me. Just at that moment I felt the boat start to move. We were slowly beginning to drift away from the dock and into the open waters of the Bay.

  “Thank you. We will be there in a moment!” He called out in the direction that the voice had come from. “Ready for dinner?” He questioned twining his fingers with mine. I nodded and he pulled me along with him.

  We walked inside of the boat and shuffled into the makeshift dining room. The white cloth covered table was set beautifully with a small bouquet of red roses in the middle. Patrick pulled out a chair for me and I smoothed out my dress as I slid into my seat.

  “This is a lovely boat. Is it yours?” I questioned as I looked at my surroundings.

  “Actually, it’s Gerald’s,” Patrick commented, looking a little embarrassed that he was using his stepfather’s boat, but I didn’t mind at all. We could have taken the Baylink ferry and I would be in awe either way.

  I watched as Patrick took his own seat in front of me. We were instantly greeted by a waiter who refilled our champagne glasses, while another member of the staff placed plates in front of us. What was presented to me on the plate looked like some luxurious painting and I didn’t dare want to disturb it. There was a small glass on one end of the rectangle plate that held what seemed to be a sort of seafood mix, while along the plate there were other small seafood delicacies.

  “You’ve been presented with a seafood adventure on a plate. To start there is a freshly caught crab parfait, followed by a sweet chili roasted shrimp, a seared scallop with a brown butter truffle sauce, and a fresh oyster topped with a leek velouté and caviar,” The waiter who gave us our plates explained. My eyes went wide with delight.

  “I hope you like seafood,” Patrick commented.

  “Are you kidding, I love it,” I said happily.

  “Bon Appetit,” the waiter said before he disappeared in the direction that I could only assume would be the kitchen.

  I was really excited to dig in. I was a seafood fiend. It was funny with how much Keaton loved the ocean and spending time at the ocean, he hated seafood. Whenever I wanted to go out for it, he would always complain and make a huge deal out of how he didn’t want to go. There were times when I would order fish at a restaurant and he would refuse to kiss me for the rest of the night. Tonight, it seems that Patrick would indeed kiss me more and I was thrilled with that fact.

  Finishing our starter, I took a sip of my bubbly drink. Looking up I caught Patrick staring at me. He seemed lost in thought. I smiled, watching his face. He was at once shaken from his trance and his eyes met mine.

  “I hope you like the food so far,” he remarked.

  “I love it. Seafood is one of my favorites. I grew up fishing with my dad and uncle. We’d always bring whatever we caught back to my mom and Nani, they would cook it up, and we would have the biggest seafood feast,” I replied as I thought of some of my favorite childhood memories.

  “Your family seems wonderful. I had a great time with them yesterday,” he commented. I was glad that he liked them and that they liked him. Things were starting off on the right foot with us.

  “What’s your family like?” I wondered more about where he came from. “Your mom was very nice when I met her in London, and of course I’ve known Gerald for years.”

  “I grew up with just my mom and me in Seattle. She was a secretary. I don’t have a large family like yours, but it was perfect with just my mom and me. She worked very hard to get me to where I am today. Plus, her meeting Gerald was a great for both of us,” he explained to me. I couldn’t imagine only having one parent, but Patricia seemed to have done a fantastic job raising Patrick.

  “I hope you don’t mind me asking about your dad?”

  “Not at all. I’ve seen the man, maybe twice in my entire life. He abandoned my mother when she was pregnant with me. He’s a coward and not my definition of a real man, but I turned out okay.”

  “You turned out great.” I gave him a grin. From what I knew of Patrick so far, he was a one of a kind and the perfect gentleman. I loved the way I felt around him, he had a magnetic spirit that pulled me in.

  I noticed that we were passing under the Golden Gate Bridge. I stood from my seat and made my way to a window and looked out at the majestic orange structure. Standing there I felt a hand settle on my hip while another hand moved my hair to the side, before lips came in contact with my neck. Patrick had a way about him that made me melt. With each brush of his mouth on my skin I felt a shiver run down my spine and I couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped my lips.

  “Perfect,” Patrick whispered against the skin of my neck. I felt the hand that was on my hip slide down to the hem of my dress before is slowly began to slip under my it and back up. I regained my composure and used my own hand to slip his from under my dress.

  “Slow it down there Paddy, remember, we’re going slow,” I scolded. Patrick let out a disappointed groan that made me giggle. I turned to face him. He put both his hands on my waist and pulled me close.

  “You are beyond irresistible and I know you want to take this slow. I’m doing my best to keep my hands to myself, but just know the moment I can have you, you are all mine. I will kiss you from head to toe, I’m going to make you feel like you’ve never felt before, and I will make you scream my name until you have no voice,” as he spoke he looked at me with conviction. There was no doubt that he meant every word he said and with that a tingling sensation moved its way through my body and between my legs. I let out a breath. I wanted all of that and I wanted it now, but I was determined to take this slow, or at least I was trying to.

  As much excitement as I felt about this new relationship, there was also a fear that rocked me. I was afraid of the unknown and afraid of the possibility of having my heart broken. I didn’t want to jump into a situation where I would give myself to him and in the end mean nothing to him. If we took it slow I could make sure to build a foundation with him, a foundation that I hoped couldn’t be rocked.

  “The next course will be arriving,” the waiter informed us. Patrick took my hand into his and led me back to our table.

  THE REST OF the dinner seemed to get better with each course. Our second course was a Sole Veronique that seemed to melt in your mouth, that was f
ollowed by curry grilled lobster tails served with boiled potatoes and sautéed vegetables. We ended the meal with the most delectable chocolate mousse cake with raspberry filling, and ganache topping, sprinkled with gold leaf. Everything about our meal was as beautiful as it was tasty. I’d taken a trip to a pure gastronomic heaven.

  Patrick kissed me softly as we sat together, wrapped in a blanket on the deck of the boat. The sun had set and the glow of San Francisco shone brightly over us as the boat slowly began to make its way back towards Berkeley.

  “I could kiss you all day, every day,” Patrick breathed out as he allowed his hand to travel lightly over the cool flesh of my cheek.

  “The inescapable prison.” I muttered out as we drifted our way past Alcatraz Prison that sat smack in the middle of the San Francisco Bay.

  I thought of the countless times I’d been on that island for school field trips, it seemed so different to me now. That island somehow represented the prison I’d locked myself away in for two years. I’d locked in my feelings and emotional growth as I waited for Keaton. I’d finally escaped and was free. There were so many times where I felt trapped in an unending cycle, an inescapable prison, but now I’d been liberated and everything about it was how it should be. A smile spread across my face.

  I turned to look at Patrick. I couldn’t help, but press my mouth to his. Kissing him was addicting and loved this new drug. I pulled away and looked him in his eyes. I knew what I saw in them, but I needed to confirm it for my heart.

  “Patrick, what do you see for us?” I couldn’t allow myself to get hooked without knowing where we would be going. I wanted a clear idea of what a future could look like with him.

  Patrick ran his hands over the waves of my hair and gave me a gentle smile. “I see us spending years together, possibly forever. I know I want to be with you for a very long time. I want to fall in love with you. I want you to be the one I come home to and the one I boast about. Please don’t think I want you for just the moment or for any sexual gratification. I want you past all of that. I want my soul to collide with yours,” one of my favorite things about him was the poetry in which he spoke. He barely needed to think about his words and every time they seemed to come from him in the purest form of prose.

  “I want that too,” I affirmed. I knew I wanted all that he wanted. Trying with him was easy and each moment lead me further into wanting an expansive future with him, just the way he saw it. I wasn’t looking for someone for the moment or something to give me pleasure just for the time being. I craved being with someone who I could wake up to every morning and who could be my partner in life through everything it threw our way.

  “Then we are on the same page.” Patrick confirmed and I nodded in agreement. I think in that moment we’d made our relationship official. We were really together. I had a boyfriend. This wasn’t something I would have said of myself in years.

  I felt tears escape my eyes as a thought came to my mind. I quickly went to wipe them away. Patrick instantly looked concerned and began to wipe my tears away with his thumb. He planted a soft peck on my cheek.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked me right away.

  “I just had a thought and it is something I never thought I’d think about.” I let out a breath and wiped away the last of my tears away. “I’ve truly let go of Keaton. I never thought I’d be with anyone else ever. It is a little scary, but after the last two years, I’m happy and I hadn’t been happy. Even before Keaton’s accident, I was miserable. We were in a rough patch and it all just spiraled with his accident, but now I’m really happy. I haven’t felt this way in so long and it’s kind of unreal in a way.”

  “I’m glad I could make you happy. It’s all I want out of all of this in the end, for you to be happy.” Patrick said before he kissed me gently. It was the last kiss before the boat jolted, signaling our arrival back to the Berkeley Marina. “Tomorrow, if you aren’t busy. I’d like to spend some time with you. Maybe I can pick you up and we could just enjoy the day together?”

  “That sounds perfect.” I whispered. I was buzzing with excitement. The thought of spending more time with him made me anxious, but in the best way possible. My entire being was humming with the thrill of knowing I would be seeing more of him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Brielle

  THE WIND FELT great flowing through my hair. I was riding with Patrick in his Porsche, speeding around the turns and bends of Highway 1, along the California coastline. This morning I’d woken up to a text message telling me to be beach ready, and beach ready I was, wearing my favorite tankini, covered by a flowy aqua chiffon caftan, and flip flops. Patrick picked me up and we were off in his convertible.

  This was the movie scene every girl imagined herself in, sitting shotgun in a hot convertible with the guy she was infatuated with, sunglasses on, and the wind flowing through her hair. That girl today was me and I loved every moment of it.

  I looked out at the scene before me. The waters of the Pacific Ocean sparkled in the sunlight and the vast ocean went out as far as I could see. I watched the waves crash against the rocks of the coastline as I inhaled the salty air. On this July afternoon, the sky was a perfect crisp shade of blue and there wasn’t a single cloud that hovered. It was an absolutely perfect day to go to the beach.

  We pulled into the coastal town of Stinson Beach, California, that was just over 20 miles north of San Francisco. As we drove through the town, heads seemed to turn at the sight of Patrick’s car. I felt like I was some sort of celebrity.

  Patrick found a space in the crowded parking lot and we both got out of the car. His hand instantly took mine as we started to walk towards the beach and the small cafe that was situated right on top of it. I walked through the sand in my flip flops, the light breeze lightly blowing the chiffon caftan that I wore over my swimsuit.

  Reaching the cafe, Patrick found us a table right away. I looked at the menu, but everything looked so delicious, I was having a hard time choosing what I wanted. I peeked over the menu to see Patrick peeking back at me. I couldn’t help, but giggle.

  “You’re silly Paddy,” I noted as I sat my menu down.

  “I love that you call me Paddy. Nobody has called me that since school,” he mentioned as he slid his hand onto mine that was resting on the table. I gave him an easeful grin. Paddy seemed to be my own name for him and I loved it.

  I glanced back down at my menu while Patrick played around with my fingers. “I can’t decide. It all looks so good.”

  “We can get a few things and share,” Patrick suggested, I nodded in excitement trying to choose. “The fish tacos sound good.”

  “Yes, and the shrimp ones too.”

  “So, fish and shrimp tacos. What else, Babe?” I grinned like a fool every time he called me Babe. Something about him using that word, it made me feel like his, and I was.

  “Chips and salsa for sure.”

  “And to drink.”

  “A cold beer is cool with me.”

  “I’ll go order.”

  I watched him step away from our table to put in our order. I was still having a hard time believing that I was with this guy. My life had taken a dramatic turn and for once it wasn’t for the worst. Life was great; I had a fantastic job, healthy and happy family, and now a guy who seemed completely devoted to me. Maybe, April was right about fate and I’d stopped doubting it and let it take me for the ride.

  While he was gone, I looked out at the golden sand that led to the waves. I thought of how much time I’d spent over the years on the beach with Keaton. We’d come to this beach, plenty of times, but had never eaten at this place. I was excited to make new memories like this with Patrick. I looked down at my left hand that I was still getting used to seeing empty. Since I’d said yes to Patrick, I felt it was a good idea to no longer wear my engagement ring from Keaton. I’d stored it away at home in my jewelry box. I’d worn that ring faithfully for three years, taking it off felt good and wrong at the same time. I was finding my closure, i
n my own way.

  Patrick returned to our table with the appetizer. Right away, I took a chip and scooped up some of the delicious looking homemade salsa. Taking a bite I closed my eyes as flavors danced along my tongue. I let out a moan before opening my eyes to see Patrick gazing at me with lust in his eyes.

  “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he commented.

  “It’s really good though. Try some,” I urged as I scooted the basket of chips and small bowl of salsa towards him. I watched him take a chip into his possession and dip it into the salsa before taking a bite for himself. The look on his face told everything. He looked to be in a state of bliss. “Foodgasm?”

  “Complete.”

  “I told you it was really good.”

  “I will forever agree with you.”

  “We are getting started on the right foot then,” I stated before he let out a laugh. He took another chip and as he did so the server greeted us with our tacos and beers. If the tacos were as good as the chips and salsa, I for one was ready to dig in.

  OUR FOOD WAS even better than I’d imagined and after eating we found ourselves on the beach. The sun was beaming down and I lounged in Patrick’s lap on top of the blanket I’d brought with us. We’d spent the last couple hours frolicking through the water and now we were rested together. I felt one of Patrick’s hands slip over my thigh. I looked down to see the beautiful contrast of his creamy hand on the chocolate skin of my thigh.

  “You said you grew up in Seattle. When did you move down here?” I asked, looking up at him. I kept my body cuddled against Patrick’s bare chest. Today had been the first time I’d seen him without a shirt since that night in London. I noted that whoever his trainer was needed a raise.

  “I moved down just over a year after I graduated with my Bachelor’s. I went to the University of Washington and when I was accepted to Stanford for business school, I moved down here,” he explained to me. “You’ve lived here your whole life, right?”