Forever Safe (Beacons of Hope)

by Jody Hedlund

  He released his breath and gathered her into his arms. She came willingly, and he lifted his eyes heavenward with a grateful whisper of a prayer. She was afraid. But not of him.

  “I’m sorry,” she said against his coat. “I’m so sorry.”

  He hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head, which was covered with a sheer veil. For a moment, he held her, attempting to catch his breath and steady the frantic pace of his heartbeat.

  When her shaking diminished to an occasional quaver, he finally spoke. “What are you afraid of, Victoria?”

  “I don’t know.” Her voice was sad and muffled against him.

  He brushed a hand gently down her arm. She sighed and snuggled into him. She might not know what she was running from, but he knew what he’d been avoiding all these years. How could he expect her to stop and face her fears if he wasn’t willing to do the same?

  “You asked me to tell you about Ike,” he said quietly.

  She sat up and looked at him, her long lashes wet with tears.

  His jaw clenched, but he forced the words out anyway. “It’s my fault he died.”

  She didn’t say anything. She reached for his fingers that he hadn’t realized he’d bunched into a fist. She gently pried them open and laced her fingers with his.

  He didn’t want to talk about this. But he swallowed the resistance that formed in his throat, and then he plunged back in the pit of hell where he hadn’t wanted to return. To the frosty dark night with the mist falling and the stench of death all around. “The night Mom came after Ike and me, she cut me free from my bindings and started to work on Ike’s. But he stopped her and told her to take me out of the camp before it was too late.”

  From their spot in the back of the wagon with all of the corpses awaiting burial, he’d been able to see the guard who’d been assigned to the night watch squatting two dozen feet away in the woods relieving himself. He supposed the guard had assumed that since Tom and Ike were bound and weakened, they wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, and so the guard had taken his time.

  “I told Ike I wouldn’t leave without him. But he pushed me away. Told Mom to take me.” Tom shuddered and felt Victoria stroke his arm.

  “You don’t have to tell me any more if you don’t want to,” she said.

  Now that he’d started, he couldn’t stop. “I told Ike that I’d carry him. But when I slid out of the wagon, I couldn’t hold myself up without Mom’s help. That didn’t stop me from turning back to Ike and trying to free him.” He closed his eyes as the nightmare repeated itself. “Ike told me to go. Mom tried to pull me away. But I was stubborn, and I kept sawing away at the rope around his hands. When those were free, I started trying to free his legs.”

  Thankfully, the wind and the rattling branches overhead had muted their whispered conversation and kept the guard from hearing them. Even so, Tom had sensed that time was running short and had sawed faster. “Ike warned me, said he’d kill himself first before letting me try to drag him away.” He could picture Ike’s gaunt face, and he could still hear the hiss of anger in his brother’s voice. “I didn’t believe him. I wouldn’t leave him. And he knew it. So before I could stop him, he yanked the knife from my hands and plunged it into his heart.”

  Tom tried to block out the picture of Ike slipping lifelessly out of his grip and falling back against a corpse. The knife had stuck deep into his chest, the blood pooling against his thin shirt, and his arm falling away from the weapon.

  His mom hadn’t stopped to retrieve the knife, hadn’t waited to even check Ike’s pulse. Instead, she’d dragged Tom away, wrapped her arm around his waist, and hoisted his arm over her shoulder. Then she set out, having to half-carry and half-drag him most of the way.

  “So you see,” Tom finished. “I killed Ike. Maybe not with my own two hands. But if I’d listened to him and left when he told me to, maybe I could have figured out a way to return and save him.”

  “Your mom told me you both would have been hung for being spies.”

  Tom nodded. Deep down he realized Ike wouldn’t have lasted another day, not with the amount of blood he’d lost from his wound. And deep down he also knew that if he’d tried to carry Ike away, they wouldn’t have made it. His mom had hardly been able to manage him, much less attempt to haul Ike too.

  “It sounds like Ike was a stubborn man,” Victoria said. “Maybe even more stubborn than you, if that’s possible.”

  Tom nodded. “Ike always did like to get his own way.”

  “But he was loyal, and he loved you deeply,” she said “He sacrificed his life so that you could have yours. Don’t you think he’d want to know that you’re happy now, that his sacrifice wasn’t in vain?”

  Tom pulled Ike’s ring from his pocket. “This was his. The one he was planning to give his girl.”

  Victoria’s eyes rounded, and the wetness on her lashes sparkled in the morning sunlight.

  “I think he’d be happy to know I’m giving it to you,” Tom said, lifting her hand and kissing her ring finger gently. “He’d be happy to know all the joy and love we’ve found together.”

  “Oh, Tom,” she said breathlessly, her eyes filling with tears again.

  “Will you marry me?”

  “I want to.”

  “But what?” he asked softly. “Why are you afraid?”

  She took the ring and turned it, studying it as though seeing it for the first time. “I think maybe I’m afraid of the future, of my future.”

  When she lifted her gaze to his, her light brown eyes reminded him of her mother’s. So pretty, clear, delicate, and…

  His pulse halted. “Are you afraid of going blind like your mother?”

  She started to shake her head, denial forming in her expression. But then she stopped. She caressed the ring and finally nodded. “I’m terrified of it. I try not to think about it, try to pretend that it’s not a possibility, try to act like I’ll have a normal future. But the truth always seems to catch up to me on my wedding day. It’s the one time I can’t keep from thinking about my future and the fact that I’m dragging someone else into my problems.”

  He hadn’t considered that she might have inherited the disease. But if her grandmother and mother had both gone blind, there was the real possibility that she might someday as well. He released a breath of relief. At last he understood why she was running from commitment. “We’ll handle whatever comes our way.”

  “But I don’t want to burden anyone I love with such an uncertain future.”

  She started to pull away from him, but he held her fast. “Do you think my mom is a burden on my dad?”

  Victoria shook her head. “Of course not. They adore each other.”

  “He loves helping her. He even loves being able to carry her around and hold her more.”

  A smile tugged at Victoria’s lips. “I think you’re right.”

  Tom traced his finger down her cheek. “I won’t complain if someday I get to carry you around and hold you more.”

  Her smile turned tremulous and then her bottom lip wobbled. “I could go blind, Tom. Blind. Don’t you understand that?”

  He nodded. “And I could go deaf. Or lose my arm. Or die tomorrow.” He rubbed his thumb across her lip to still the trembling. “None of us know what our futures will bring. But that can’t stop us from living. Or getting married.”

  She was silent for so long that his pulse gave a thud. Then without warning, she slipped the ring onto her finger, back where it belonged. And she bestowed a smile upon him that made his limbs turn as weak as the sand. “Thank you for telling me about Ike.”

  He nodded and had to swallow before he trusted his voice to speak. “I think it’s time we both stopped running from our fears, don’t you?”

  Without waiting for his assistance, she stood and held out a hand to him. “Does that mean you’ll think about staying here at Race Point as the assistant keeper?”

  He clasped her hand and rose, so that he was standing next to her. Victoria had wan
ted to stay with his parents, especially to be there for his mom. While he was glad to see her maturity since the first day they’d arrived, he hadn’t planned on living at the lighthouse, at least not long term. But maybe it was time for him to put the past to rest once and for all. Maybe by remaining instead of running, he could finally find forgiveness and peace with not only all that had happened to Ike, but also what had happened to his mom.

  Victoria squeezed his hand. “She wants you to stay. They both do.”

  “Only if you promise to stay here with me.”

  “Are you sure you want me? I have no doubt that I’ll still have to battle my fears many more times in the years to come.”

  “I still have demons to fight too, Victoria,” he said. “But we’ll help each other do battle. There’s strength in numbers, and we’ll be stronger together.”

  She tugged him toward the dune, back the direction they’d come. “I guess we better not keep our guests waiting any longer. We wouldn’t want them thinking that I ran away again, would we?”

  He grinned. “No we wouldn’t.”

  Chapter 25

  “And now you may kiss your bride,” the rector said as he closed his Bible and smiled at Tom.

  Victoria tried to still the quavering in her chest. She’d done it. She’d finally walked down the aisle, spoken her vows, and promised that for better or worse she’d love and cherish her husband for as long as they both lived.

  Of course, she and Tom had already been legally married. But somehow standing in front of their family and friends and pledging their lives to each other made their marriage truly real.

  Tom’s hold on her hand hadn’t slackened during the walk back to the beach or during the brief ceremony under the canopy. She’d felt the curious gazes of the guests upon her and sensed the relief from her parents, but she’d kept her focus on Tom. Every time she’d begun to feel a sense of panic rising, he’d squeezed her hands and pulled her gaze to his. The steadiness and love in his eyes had reminded her that they’d get through any difficulties together.

  Now a warm sea breeze teased a strand of Tom’s hair. “Mrs. Cushman,” he whispered, his blue eyes dark and filled with thrilling promises. As he bent his head toward hers, she sucked in a breath of anticipation. It didn’t matter that everyone was watching them. She loved his kisses and had been waiting days for another one.

  He tilted and brushed her lips with feathery lightness. The warmth and tingle against her mouth teased her and the spark in his eyes told her that he had more to give her. Later.

  As he pulled away, she smiled at him, and together they turned to face the guests.

  In the front row, James gave a loud snort, and his eyebrows were furrowed together in a glower. “That wasn’t a kiss.”

  Tom tossed his dad a scowl in return before holding out his arm to Victoria. “Ready?” he whispered.

  “Give her a real kiss,” James demanded.

  “Dad,” Tom said through clenched teeth. “Don’t do this now.”

  Next to James, Zelma’s smile could have lit the tower lantern. Her eyes danced with delight. Suddenly Victoria knew that she’d done the right thing. If Zelma could find hope and joy despite the dire circumstances of her life, losing one son to death and another to grief, and also losing her feet, surely she could find acceptance and joy, too, in whatever would come. Zelma’s secret was relying upon God’s strength for her joy, which was another thing Victoria would have to ask Zelma to teach her to do.

  “Show yourself to be a real man,” James’s voice rang with challenge, “and kiss your bride like you mean it.”

  Tom locked eyes with his dad. From the tensing of Tom’s arm, Victoria sensed he was taking the bait.

  Inwardly, she smiled. Later she’d thank James.

  As Tom pivoted so that he faced her again, his features tightened, and all his desire for her pooled in his eyes.

  A series of wild flips bounded across her middle. She lifted her face to him, giving him complete access to her mouth.

  With the strength she’d grown to love about him, he made his move. His hand found the small of her back, and he drew her against him at the same moment his lips crashed against hers. Like the powerful waves breaking against the shore only a dozen paces away, his mouth moved with an all-consuming passion, unrelenting, drawing her away from reality.

  She wanted it to be a place where it was just the two of them, but the clapping of the guests reminded her that they weren’t alone. Not in the least.

  The loudest clap and a shrill whistle of appreciation came from the front row, from James. “That’s my boy! I taught him everything he knows.”

  Tom broke away from the kiss, but not before she felt his lips curving into a grin. “Think you’ll be able to put up with all of his pressure?” he whispered against her ear.

  “As long as he pressures us to kiss like that at least once a day,” she whispered back.

  Tom chuckled. “Around my parents, I guarantee that our marriage won’t be dull.”

  “All the more reason to stay here, don’t you think?” She could feel herself flush at her boldness.

  His lips found the hollow of her ear. “I love you. Forever.” The words and his breathy kiss held the promise of so much more to come. Whatever the future held. Whatever difficulties they might face. They would face it together. Forever.

  Author’s Note

  Dear Reader, I pray that you enjoyed the continuation of the Beacons of Hope with Victoria Cole’s story. While the previous books in the series are located at lighthouses in Michigan, with this particular book I decided to move to a lighthouse along the East coast. I decided upon Race Point Lighthouse on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, for several reasons. First, I love Cape Cod. My husband’s family has lived there for many years. We took our first trip their together as a couple for our honeymoon and have vacationed there ever since.

  Another reason I chose Race Point Lighthouse is because of the history. During the years of 1870 to 1885 the head keeper was James Cushman. His assistant keeper was a man by the name of Thomas. While not a father-son team, I decided to make them so for the sake of the story. Race Point Lighthouse needed both a keeper and assistant largely due to the steam-driven fog signal that required a great deal of effort to keep running.

  I also decided to have my characters live at Race Point Lighthouse because the setting is isolated and made a perfect hiding place for Victoria. Today, if you were to visit the lighthouse, you would have to hike two miles over sand dunes to reach it (although volunteers do provide transportation to and from the light). Even though the lighthouse is alone on the tip of the Cape, it’s surrounded by untold beauty and wildlife that made it ideal for this story.

  As with all of the books in the Beacons of Hope series, I pray that you’ve been both encouraged and inspired to trust in the Giver of Hope. If, like Victoria and Tom, you’re running away from past hurts or future fears, I pray that you’ll learn to run to the One who promises to walk beside us through our darkest valleys and fiercest storms. He may not take us out of the valley or storm, but He will hold our hand and stay by our side. With Him, we will be forever safe.

  Jody Hedlund is the bestselling author of multiple novels, including Love Unexpected, Captured by Love, Rebellious Heart, and The Preacher’s Bride. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Taylor University and a master’s degree from the University of Wisconsin, both in social work. Jody lives in Michigan with her husband and five children. Learn more at JodyHedlund.com.

  More From Jody Hedlund

  Visit jodyhedlund.com for a full list of her books.

  Shipwrecked and stranded, Emma Chambers is in need of a home. Could the widowed local lighthouse keeper and his young son be an answer to her prayer?

  Love Unexpected

  BEACONS OF HOPE #1

  Caroline has tended the lighthouse since her father’s death. But where will she go when a wounded Civil War veteran arrives to take her place?

  Hearts Made Whole


  BEACONS OF HOPE #2

  Vowing not to have anything to do with lighthouses, Tessa Taylor is the new teacher to the children of miners. Can the light keeper’s assistant break through her fears and win her heart?

  Hope Undaunted

  BEACONS OF HOPE #3

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