An Amish Christmas

by Patricia Davids

  John said, “Henry, stay with Jacob. The rest of you come and help me.” The young men followed John and lined up beside the fallen buggy. Together they heaved it upright on the road. The damage looked minimal in spite of the rough landing.

  Returning to Jacob’s side, John said, “We need the vet to look at One-Way and Jacob needs to see a doctor. Can one of you take him into town?”

  “I will,” Henry said quickly.

  “I’m not going anywhere until One-Way has been taken care of.”

  John was quick to disagree. “You’re going to the doctor. Your sister will kill me if she finds out I let the horse be seen first.”

  John approached the horse again and ran his hand down the injured foreleg. Already he could feel the heat in it. Looking at the boys, he pointed to one of them. “Let me have your scarf.”

  The young man yanked it off his neck and held it out. John packed it with snow and wrapped it around the horse’s leg to control the swelling.

  “Papa will be so upset with me. What are you going to tell him?” Jacob pinned John with a wide-eyed gaze.

  “I will not lie to him, Jacob. You are the one who must tell him there was an accident.”

  John looked over to the rest of the boys. “This kind of racing must stop. You can see now how dangerous it is. I will accept your word that this kind of thing will never happen again. If I hear about any of you racing, I will speak to everyone’s father and the sheriff.”

  The young men, looking sheepish and relieved, all agreed there would be no more impromptu contests. After sending Jacob off to see Dr. White, John waited with One-Way until the vet arrived.

  That evening, John finished icing One-Way’s leg and was securing an elastic bandage when he realized someone was watching him. Looking up, he saw Jacob standing outside the stall. The boy sported a small dressing over his eye and a look of doom on his face.

  John patted the horse’s neck. “He’s doing well. With some rest and therapy the vet thinks he’ll be fine in time for the sale. How’s the head?”

  “I needed five stitches.”

  John stepped outside the stall and latched the door securely. It was a hard way for the boy to learn a lesson but it could have been so much worse.

  “Do you like it here?” Jacob asked suddenly.

  “Of course I do. I love working with the horses. I love the way your family has welcomed me in. I love…” John stopped, realizing how close he’d just come to revealing his secret.

  “You love my sister.”

  Turning away, John gathered up his supplies. “I’m fond of all of you.”

  “I did not like you when you first came.”

  “No kidding? I never would’ve guessed,” John replied, not bothering to hide his grin.

  There was no answering humor in Jacob’s face. “The day we found you I knew someone had robbed you and dumped you on our road.”

  The boy’s serious tone set off alarm bells in John’s head. He asked, “How did you know that?”

  “You had no shoes on but your socks were clean and you had no wallet.”

  “The sheriff came to the same conclusion.” John moved to fork hay into the stalls. A sense of dread uncurled inside him.

  After a long pause, Jacob said, “I found something not far from where you were laying. I thought you would think whoever robbed you took it.”

  John stopped his work. His heart hammered hard enough to jump out of his chest. “What did you find?”

  Jacob opened his hand and held it toward John. “I took it. I’m sorry. When you came here and couldn’t remember anything, I thought it would not matter that I had kept it. Later, I was afraid to give it back because the sheriff might think I had done this thing to you.”

  John took several unsteady steps toward the boy and lifted a gold pocket watch from his hand. The cover was finely engraved with the figure of a running horse. John recognized the weight and feel of it in his hand.

  When he flipped it open he saw it was an elaborate timepiece that included a stopwatch. Chimes began to play a tune. It was the same tune he’d heard that day in the barn. He looked at Jacob. “You’ve had this all along?”

  Jacob couldn’t meet his gaze. He stared at his feet and nodded. “I liked the music. Papa would never let me keep such a fancy thing.”

  Turning the watch over, John saw it was engraved. His legs gave way. Falling back against the stall door, he slid to the ground. Here was his answer.

  He read the words aloud. “To Aaron from Jonathan. Happy birthday, pal.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jacob whispered.

  A horrible buzzing filled John’s head. He struggled to catch his breath. He could barely wrap his mind around this discovery. “My name is Aaron and I have a friend named Jonathan.”

  John pressed a hand to his mouth as the implications and possibilities swirled in his mind. He had a name. He had a friend.

  He opened the cover and the tune began to play again. It was a waltz. He closed his eyes.

  A woman, dancing and swirling, crossed a hardwood floor on bare feet. Her red skirt billowed around her shapely legs as she danced to the tune being played by the watch. Her long blond hair flowed like silk down her back. She stopped suddenly and held out both hands. Clear as day John saw the gold band on her left hand. She smiled. “Dance with me, Aaron.”

  Pain shot through John’s skull. Tears filled his eyes but he didn’t know why he was crying. He didn’t want to know.

  Snapping the watch shut, he pressed his hands to his temples. He didn’t want to remember any more.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Karen stepped out of the car and stretched her stiff muscles, grateful to finally be home. She’d only been away a few days but it felt like a lifetime. While she had enjoyed every minute of her visit with her maternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, she had missed John terribly. Excitement at the prospect of their private reunion skittered across her skin.

  Would he kiss her again?

  Jacob stood waiting for them on the front porch. His hat was pulled low on his forehead. Karen waved at him, but he didn’t wave back. He stared at his boots as he addressed Eli. “Papa, I must speak with you in private.”

  That didn’t sound good. Karen and Eli exchanged worried glances. What had happened? She said, “Go on, Papa, I will take care of the car.”

  As Jacob and Eli went inside the house, Karen paid the driver, took their suitcases from the trunk and herded the younger children toward the house. Noah hefted one of the larger suitcases and struggled toward the steps with it. Anna carried her own but she still wore the same unhappy pout that had appeared shortly after they left their grandmother’s home.

  Karen asked, “What is the matter, little sister? Aren’t you glad to be home?”

  “Yes, but I don’t want Christmas to be over.”

  Smiling indulgently, Karen patted her shoulder. “All things must come to an end, even good things.”

  “I know.” Anna shuffled her feet.

  Noah stopped and draped an arm across her small shoulders. “Christmas is over, but we can look forward to the horse sale tomorrow.”

  Giving him a skeptical glance, Anna asked, “Is it really fun? I’ve never gone with Papa before.”

  Noah threw up his hands. “Yes, it’s fun. You’ll see lots of new people and pretty horses. There will be tents set up and they sell all kinds of neat things. Papa will buy us ice cream and good things to eat.”

  “He will?” She perked up.

  “You’ll see. It’s more fun than market day.”

  Mollified, Anna followed her brother into the house, begging for more information. “Will I get to choose any flavor of ice cream I want?”

  Inside the kitchen, Karen pulled off her black bonnet and hung it along with her heavy coat on one of the pegs beside the door. Disappointment dimmed her happiness. John wasn’t waiting for her.

  Surely he’d heard the car drive in. Perhaps he wasn’t home from work yet. She didn’t know if
Reuben had his shop open or not. Many Amish closed their businesses and spent the days after Christmas traveling to visit family. Reuben had enough grandchildren that he could easily visit throughout the month of January and not see them all.

  Karen tried to console herself with the fact that she would see John soon enough. He rarely missed a meal.

  Taking down her apron, she tied it on and began making preparations for supper. She could hear the muted tones of Jacob talking to her father in the living room but she couldn’t make out what was being said. Did it involve John? Was that why he wasn’t here?

  A sudden thought made her freeze. Had John remembered who he was? Had he gone back to his old life?

  She wrestled that ever-present fear to the back of her mind where she kept it caged. John wouldn’t have left without waiting for her to return. He wouldn’t go without saying goodbye. He loved her and she loved him.

  She clung to that knowledge in the face of all reason. God had brought John to her. They were meant for each other.

  A few minutes later, Jacob came out of the sitting room and she caught a glimpse of his face without his hat on. A bandage and a bruise marred his forehead.

  Crossing to him, she grasped his chin and turned his head toward the kitchen window for more light. “What happened to you?”

  “I had a carriage accident. I got a couple of stitches, that’s all.”

  Eli had followed Jacob into the kitchen. “The boy and I have discussed this.”

  “Is John okay? Was he involved?” she demanded.

  “John’s fine,” Jacob answered without looking at her.

  “Where is he?” Karen sensed her brother wasn’t telling her everything.

  “He’s working in the barn. I should go help him finish.” Jacob made a quick exit, leaving Karen to stare after him.

  She turned to her father. “What’s going on?”

  “Jacob got in some trouble while we were gone. He has told me everything. We will not mention it again.” Eli donned his hat and coat and left the house.

  Far from feeling reassured, Karen returned to her work with more questions than answers running around in her mind. Perhaps John felt responsible for Jacob’s accident and that was the reason he hadn’t come to welcome her home. She had asked him to keep an eye on her brother, but she had no illusions about Jacob. If he wanted to seek out trouble, he would find it even with a watchdog.

  Jacob and Eli returned a half hour later, but there was still no sign of John. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Why was John avoiding her?

  When supper was almost ready, Karen called Noah in from the living room and said, “Go tell John that supper is ready.”

  Noah donned his coat and hat and hurried out the door. When he came back a few minutes later, she asked, “Did you find him?”

  “Ja. He says he is not hungry, but I am,” Noah answered as he hung up his coat.

  Something was definitely wrong. Karen felt it in her bones.

  Supper seemed to last forever, but finally her father rose from the table and retired to the sitting room. Karen made quick work of the cleanup with Anna’s help. After wrapping some leftovers in foil, she donned her coat and walked over to the dawdy haus.

  Stepping inside the front door, she paused to wipe her feet on the braided rug just as John came out of the living room. He held a Bible in his hand. The happy welcome she had hoped to see was missing in his eyes.

  Suddenly feeling awkward and uncertain, she held out the plate. “I brought something in case you get hungry later.”

  “That wasn’t necessary.”

  She gathered her courage as she set the plate on the counter. Gripping her hands together, she faced him.

  “What’s wrong, John?”

  He couldn’t meet her gaze. “I need to apologize for my behavior on Christmas. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your kindness.”

  Fear uncoiled inside her, making her pulse pound. “How did you take advantage of me?”

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you. It won’t happen again.”

  Her heart sank. She took a step closer. “Don’t say that.”

  He closed his eyes. “I need you to leave now, Karen.”

  “I don’t understand. Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you look at me?”

  “I had another memory flash while you were gone.”

  Suddenly, Karen thought she understood. “You remembered her?”

  He nodded.

  Although she knew she didn’t want to hear his answer, she asked. “Who is she?”

  “I think she is my wife.”

  No, no, no!

  Karen’s mind screamed the denial, but she managed to keep her voice calm. “You think she is, but you don’t know for certain?”

  “No.”

  “If you have a wife, why isn’t she searching for you?” Karen would have turned the world upside down to find him.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  She had to find some other explanation. She and John were meant for each other. She had known it the first moment she saw his face even though she had tried to deny it.

  Stepping close, she laid her hand on his cheek. “You could not kiss me with such tenderness if you had a wife. You are not that kind of man, John. Tell me what you have remembered.”

  John captured Karen’s fingers against his cheek and held them tight as he gazed into her eyes. He wanted to believe she was right. He wanted to believe with all his heart and soul that they were meant to be together, but the evidence was becoming overwhelming.

  He whispered, “Let me show you something.”

  He led her into the sitting room where the watch lay on a table by the sofa. He’d been staring at it for hours. He said, “Jacob found this near me the day I was dumped on your lane.”

  “It’s a watch. Is it yours?” She looked at him in confusion.

  “Read the inscription.”

  Picking it up, she turned it over. “To Aaron from Jonathan. Happy birthday, pal.”

  Her eyes brightened. “Is your name Aaron?”

  “I think so.”

  “I will have trouble getting used to it, but it is a good name. Why does this make you sad? You have longed to know your own name all these weeks.”

  He sat down on the sofa. “The watch plays music when it’s opened. When I heard the tune, I remembered a woman dancing, holding out her hands and asking me to dance with her. She wore a wedding ring.”

  Karen laid the watch back on the table and shook her head. “That is not proof you are married.”

  “What else can it mean?”

  She crossed her arms and took a step back. “I don’t know, but it is not proof. You had no ring on your hand.”

  “It could have been stolen.” He gazed at his fingers trying to see some evidence that he’d once worn a wedding band.

  “What will you do now?” she asked softly. He heard the fear underlying her voice. He knew exactly how she felt.

  “I’ll take the watch to the sheriff and see if he can trace where it was made or purchased. It’s an expensive piece, probably custom-made.”

  Her chin came up. “It’s too late to do anything tonight and Papa will need your help at the sale tomorrow.”

  She was making excuses and he knew it. She was trying to prolong the inevitable.

  So, what would one more day hurt? He deserved one last day of happiness with her and her family, didn’t he? Wasn’t that why he hadn’t gone to the sheriff already? The answers he sought wouldn’t change in twenty-four hours. After tomorrow he would resume his search and pray it didn’t take him away from the woman he loved.

  Glancing at Karen’s lovely face in the lamplight he honestly didn’t know if he had the courage to leave her.

  What could possibly exist in his past that was better than what he’d found in Hope Springs? He’d found peace, happiness and love. He’d discovered a new and simple faith that felt as if he’d lived it forever.

  One more day with he
r. It was all he might have.

  He said, “I reckon I can wait until after the sale.”

  She smiled, but it was forced. “Goot. We will have a wonderful time tomorrow. Get some rest. We must leave very early.”

  She turned away quickly but not before he saw the tears in her eyes. The sight cut his heart to the quick. More than anything, he didn’t want to be the cause of her suffering. He’d been foolish to confess his love when he didn’t know if he was free. Now, he had hurt both of them.

  After Karen left John tried to follow her advice, but sleep never came. The thing he’d longed for had become the thing he dreaded.

  What lesson was God trying to teach him?

  Just before dawn, a large white pickup pulling a blue-and-white horse trailer rolled to a stop in front of the Imhoff barn. The driver, a young Mennonite from Sugarcreek, helped John and Eli load and secure the horses. When they were ready to leave, Eli and Jacob climbed in the front seat of the extended cab with the driver, leaving John, Karen, Anna and Noah to squeeze into the backseat.

  Anna and Noah kept up a running excited chatter. John was glad because it covered the awkward silence that stretched between him and Karen. He had hoped for one more day of happiness, but there was a pall over the day that couldn’t be ignored. He tried to be cheerful for the sake of the children, but each time he met Karen’s eyes he knew she was suffering as he was.

  The trip took almost two hours. As they pulled into the fairgrounds where the sale was to be held, John saw dozens of Amish buggies along with numerous horse vans, cars and pickup trucks sharing the parking lot. Large numbers of people were already milling about or clustered in front of the tents selling coffee and hot chocolate.

  Inside the main building the bleachers were filling quickly as the auctioneer in a booth behind the show ring tested his audio equipment. Long rows of stalls on one side of the enormous building held nearly a hundred horses.

  A second long aisle had been set aside for vendors where corn dogs and ice-cream stands shared space with harness makers and nutritional horse-feed specialists. An old-time county fair atmosphere prevailed everywhere John looked. He and Eli settled the horses in their assigned stalls. Cowboys, Amish men and businessmen all filed past looking over the animals going on sale.