Good, Bad…Better

by Cindi Myers

  “Do you like that?” He smiled down at her, and trailed his hand around her thighs until it rested between her legs. “What about this?” He sank a finger into her, and then two, stroking gently forward as he withdrew, then entered again.

  “Yes!” She felt herself tighten around him, then release. She hadn’t imagined her body could create so many exquisite sensations. He began sucking at her breasts again, his hands still working their magic. She was dimly aware of his cock, hard and hot against her thigh. He’d been ready for her for a while now, yet he was willing to wait.

  Then he slid lower, his fingers still stroking in and out of her, and began to use his tongue on her clit. The onslaught of sensation vanquished any attempt to say or think anything else. She surrendered to a shuddering climax that warmed every part of her and had her crying out with pleasure.

  She had scarcely stopped shaking before he knelt over her. She held out her arms, reaching for him. “Come here,” she said. “I really want you inside me.”

  Her muscles tensed around him as he entered her, and she wrapped her arms around him, wanting him closer still. The sensation of him filling her was so perfect, and she felt desire building anew. She slid her hands down the taut plain of his back to his buttocks and grasped him there, urging him to drive harder and faster into her. He arched over her, eyes closed, the fine bones of his cheeks and hollows of his eyes cast in stark relief by the candlelight. In that moment, he was truly handsome in a way he hadn’t seemed to her before. She lifted her hips, meeting him stroke for stroke, tightening and releasing around him, wanting to give him the same ecstasy he’d given her.

  Her second climax caught her by surprise, an unexpected joy she hadn’t imagined. Her startled cry still rang in her ears when he thrust hard against her. “Yes!” he shouted. He gathered her against his chest and they rocked together.

  This is the best part, she thought. Being here, in his arms, this way.

  After a while, he released her and withdrew. They lay cradled together, her backside snugged against his stomach, his hand a comforting weight on her belly. She reached back to pat his thigh. “That was amazing,” she said.

  “I always aim to please.”

  The comment was flip, but she knew the truth behind the words. Zach pretended not to care about people and things, and yet she could see so clearly that he cared so much. It mattered to him if he gave her pleasure. It mattered that she, at least, had a good opinion of him. She rolled over to face him and cradled his head between her hands and looked into his eyes. “You are so special, did you know that?”

  His gaze pierced her, the old wariness returning in the blink of an eye, but edged by a new softness, a wonder. Then he looked away, breaking the spell. He slid down in the bed and rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m not special, just different from what you’re used to. Don’t try to make more of that than you ought to.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean you need to remember what this is.” He raised up on one elbow, worry lines creasing his forehead. “A temporary fling. A walk on the wild side for you.”

  “I know that.” She sat up and turned away, not wanting him to see the lie in her eyes. She wasn’t sure when she’d stopped thinking of Zach as a mere fling. Just because their relationship couldn’t last didn’t mean it couldn’t mean something important. To both of them.

  “Look.” He sat also and put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not saying I’m not having a good time. But you don’t really belong with someone like me.”

  “You’re wrong. I’ve never felt more right about anything I’ve done than this.”

  He squeezed her shoulder. “You’re a good girl playing at being bad.”

  She looked back at him. “Yeah, well, you’re not as bad as you pretend to be.”

  He took his hand away and shook his head. “Maybe we should stop this now. You’re getting too serious.”

  So she was supposed to pretend she felt nothing, just to protect him from something he didn’t want to see? Anger made her brave. “Why should that bother you?”

  “Because I know it would never work between us. We’re too different.” He drew his knees up and rested his arms across them. “I only agreed to this because it was guaranteed short-term.”

  “And it still is.” She spun around until she was kneeling beside him. “I’m going away in a few weeks. Until then, I want us to keep seeing each other. Why give up a good thing now?”

  She saw the doubt in his eyes, felt his hesitation. She reached out to stroke his arm. “Let’s not talk about the future. Let’s just enjoy what we have now. Tonight.” She lay down and patted the space beside her. “Stay just a little longer. Please.”

  He looked away and shook his head, but slid down and reached out to pull her close. She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, willing her heart to slow, her thoughts to still. She wasn’t going to try to analyze her feelings or figure out what she should do next. She was going to focus on how good she felt right now, right here in Zach’s arms.

  ZACH SAT IN A CHAIR ACROSS the bedroom and pulled on his socks. Jen was sleeping, curled on her side, the sheet pulled to her hips. Her hair was a spill of gold floss on the pillow behind her, and the curve of her breast was just visible in the crook of her arm. Candlelight painted her skin the color of old ivory and made the sheets a marble carving.

  The scene caught and held him, like a masterful painting in a gallery. The combination of innocence and sensuality said everything about this woman who had rocked his world off center.

  He’d accused her of getting too serious about him. But feeling his heart squeeze as he watched her now, he knew he was in danger of ignoring his own good sense and allowing himself to think things he had no business thinking.

  He stood and picked up his boots and moved around the room, blowing out candles. He stopped by the bed and looked down at her. She sighed and shifted slightly, but didn’t wake.

  He pulled the sheet up over her shoulder, allowing his hand to linger on the lock of hair curling around her ear.

  Clenching his hand into a fist, he pulled away, then blew out the last candle. Making his way in the darkness, he left the apartment, locking the door behind him. He stood in the hallway and looked at the key she’d given him. He hadn’t found the opportunity to return it to her yet. He guessed he might as well keep it for a while longer. When she’d given it to him, she’d probably intended it as a way of letting him know her door was always open to him. But the only thing he’d ever use this key for was leaving her. The knowledge was a sharp pain in his chest as he walked away, back into the empty night.

  10

  THE NEXT MORNING, JEN was disappointed to find Zach gone, but not terribly surprised. The man was as skittish as a wild animal when it came to anything approaching emotional intimacy. Their talk last night had obviously freaked him out. He could protest all he wanted that the two of them together meant nothing to him, but he had to feel something to be so scared.

  She was contemplating her next move when her phone rang. Heart pounding, she rushed to answer it, hoping it was Zach.

  “Hey, Jen. It’s Shelly.”

  “Shelly!” She tried to put extra enthusiasm in her voice to hide her disappointment. “How did it go last night?”

  “You mean how did it not go. Our ‘big date’ was take-out pizza and a DVD movie. And Aaron spent most of the evening with one eye on the television and the other on work he’d brought home from the office.”

  Shelly sounded close to tears. Jen’s own throat tightened in frustration. She carried the phone into the kitchen and poured a second cup of coffee. “Maybe you’re going to have to do something drastic to get his attention.”

  “Like what? Last night I debated taking off all my clothes and parading in front of the TV, but I was too afraid he might not notice.”

  “Things aren’t that bad, are they?”

  “Not yet. But they could be soon.” Shelly sounded glum. “I told hi
m last night I thought he was working too much, but he said these long hours were really important and it would be worth it in the long run. Then he told me he couldn’t take me out tomorrow night because he has dinner with a client.”

  “On a Friday night?”

  “That’s what I said, but apparently this was the only time his client could meet. If it’s really a client.”

  “Who else would it be?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. Will you help me?”

  Jen took a long drink of coffee. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Come with me tomorrow evening. I’m going to follow Aaron and find out what he’s really up to.”

  Jen’s heart clenched. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “If he’s seeing someone else, I might as well find out now instead of prolonging the agony. Please come with me.”

  “All right.” There were easily a dozen other things she’d rather do than trail her friend’s boyfriend to a possible clandestine meeting with another woman. But Shelly needed someone to stand by her, and Jen couldn’t do anything less for her best friend. “What time should we meet?”

  “I’ll pick you up at seven. And wear something dark. We might have to sneak around in the shadows.”

  “Skulking clothes. Right. See you at seven.”

  She hung up the phone and returned to the bedroom to choose suitable spying clothes. She carefully avoided looking at the unmade bed, where the impression of Zach’s head was still clear and his scent hung in the air.

  She was debating whether black jeans or black leggings were the better choice for after-dark detective work when the phone rang again. Every semblance of serenity vanished as she lunged for it.

  “Hey, it’s Theresa.”

  “Oh. Hi.”

  “Well don’t sound overjoyed or anything.”

  Jen slumped onto the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry. I was expecting someone else.”

  “My brother, maybe?”

  “Um, why would you say that?”

  “Not that I’m keeping tabs on the two of you, but when I went out last night I thought I saw his bike in the parking lot. And it wasn’t there this morning.”

  “Yeah, well, he stopped by for a while.”

  “And left when things got too intense.”

  Jen sat up straighter. “How did you know that? Did he say anything?”

  “I haven’t talked to him, but I’ve known him for twenty-seven years and I work with him every day. The man is Mr. Untouchable.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Forget about him. At least for a while. I called to see if you wanted to go shopping. I’m bored and need to get out of this place.”

  Jen glanced around the apartment. She didn’t have to be at the studio to teach until one. And there was nothing like a morning at the mall with a gal pal to help her sort out her feelings and plot strategy. “Sounds good. Give me half an hour to shower and fix my hair.”

  “Okay. See you then.”

  By the time they reached the mall, Jen was feeling more optimistic. She still had a lot of things she wanted to accomplish before she headed out to Chicago on her own. Zach was a big part of those plans, so he might as well get it into his head that they weren’t done with each other yet.

  She and Theresa paused in front of Frederick’s of Hollywood to study the window display of skimpy lingerie. “I could go for the red leather bustier.” Theresa tilted her head to one side, considering the tight, boned garment. “And the six-inch, red platforms she’s wearing are a kick.”

  Jen made a face. “You don’t think they’re a little…well, tacky?”

  “Of course they are. That’s the whole idea.” Theresa laughed. “I guess you’re more a Victoria’s Secret gal, but I like to see you go against type.”

  They moved on down the mall, stopping often to study window displays, no particular destination in mind. “What about you?” Jen asked. “Do you ever go against type?”

  “Why would I want to do that?” Theresa halted at a kiosk to examine a leather purse. “It’s not like I’m trying to get some man’s attention.”

  “Why not? You like men, don’t you?”

  “I like them, as long as they know their place. Give me a boy toy anytime, but I’m not interested in a serious relationship.” She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, nose lifted in an expression of disdain.

  “Spoken like a woman who’s ripe for a fall,” Jen said.

  Theresa gave her a sharp look. “What do you mean by that?”

  They set out walking again. “I mean you’re as bad as Zach,” Jen said. “Thinking you don’t need anyone in your life.” She spotted a familiar store up ahead and had what she considered a brilliant idea. “Come with me.” She grabbed Theresa’s arm and pulled her toward the store.

  “Where are we—?” Theresa groaned as she recognized their destination. Jen pulled her into a boutique that specialized in ultrafeminine dresses trimmed in lace and ruffles. The store itself was decorated in shades of pink, with gold-framed mirrors around the walls. The scent of rose potpourri hung heavily in the air while baroque music soothed shoppers.

  “Get me out of here before I gag myself to death,” Theresa said.

  “Aw c’mon, I know you like this stuff. I’ve seen your apartment.” Jen stopped to examine an Empire-waisted gown made of flowered chintz.

  “Lace in the bedroom is one thing. I wouldn’t be caught dead in this stuff.” Even as she said this, Theresa reached out to touch a white linen dress trimmed in white eyelet.

  “What about that one?” Jen asked. “It’s not too froufrou. No flowers.”

  Theresa shrugged. “It’s okay if you’re going to dress up like a doll.”

  Jen grabbed the dress off the rack. “Try it on. Just for me. Please?”

  Theresa eyed the dress warily. “Okay. But don’t tell a soul.”

  Jen paced outside the dressing room. She wasn’t sure what had possessed her to bring Theresa in here, unless it was all that talk about “playing against type” and Theresa’s protests that she didn’t need a relationship with a man. Sure, maybe she didn’t need one, but wouldn’t she be happier with someone to love? Isn’t that what everyone wanted?

  When Jen had seen the store, she’d thought of Theresa’s girly apartment, and decided her friend could use a little more softness in her wardrobe, too. Maybe that would be the first step in softening up her heart.

  The dressing room door inched open and Theresa stuck her head out. “I’m coming out now, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

  “I won’t laugh. Now come on, I want to see.”

  Jen had to admit the transformation was remarkable. The bright white linen made Theresa’s hair and skin glow in a way her usual leather and dark colors could not. Long sleeves covered most of the tattoos. The sweetheart neckline and close-fitting bodice showed off her figure, while the calf-length flowing skirt was romantic and feminine. The bad girl Jen had befriended was now the picture of a good girl. “Theresa, you look amazing!”

  Theresa studied herself in the mirror, smoothing the skirt, tugging at the neckline. “It’s not bad.” She shook her head. “But it’s not me.”

  “It is you. The you inside all that black leather. You should buy it.”

  Theresa shook her head.

  “Then I’m buying it for you.” Jen dug in her purse for her charge card.

  Theresa whirled to face her. “No way.”

  “Yes way. I’m telling you, you need that dress.”

  “When would I wear something like this?”

  “You’ll find the right time. Or the right person to wear it for.”

  “Right.” She ducked back into the dressing room and emerged a few minutes later, in jeans and leather again, the dress draped over her arm. “I suppose I can always wear it at Halloween. Put your plastic away. I’ll buy it myself.”

  “All right!” Jen grinned at her.

  Theresa sighed. “I can’t b
elieve the things I let you talk me into.”

  “You’ll thank me one day.”

  Theresa paid for the dress and they entered the mall again. “All this shopping’s made me hungry,” Theresa said. “Let’s eat.”

  They bought salads and Cokes, then found a table in the food court. When they were settled, Theresa eyed Jen across the table. “Okay, now tell me about you and Zach. Are you fighting?”

  “We’re not fighting. Not exactly.” She stabbed at a wedge of tomato. “He thinks we shouldn’t see each other anymore. He says I’m getting too serious.”

  “And are you?”

  “I don’t know. I…I care about Zach. Is that so wrong?”

  Theresa shook her head. “How does he feel about you?”

  “He keeps saying we’re too different to work together—that I’m still a good girl at heart while he really is a bad dude. But the more I get to know him, the less I believe it.”

  Theresa chewed, thinking. Finally, she laid down her fork. “Maybe the good-girl thing is scaring him off. You’re the type of woman he’s always avoided before.”

  “But I’m not a good girl! At least, that’s not all I am. It’s just a label I spent too many years trying to live up to. I’m good and bad, just like him.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you.” Theresa picked up her fork and resumed eating. “If Zach’s made up his mind, it’s going to be hard to change it. He’s stubborn.”

  “Well, I’m stubborn, too.” She pushed lettuce leaves aside, looking for another bite of chicken. “Maybe if I show him how bad I can be, it’ll open his eyes.”

  “Yeah, but how bad is that, really?”

  Jen narrowed her eyes. “Bad enough to get his attention. That’s all I need. Some way to make him see me as something besides the police chief’s good little girl.”

  “So how are you going to do that?”

  “I’m not sure.” She pushed her salad aside. “I know Zach has to work tonight, right?”

  Theresa nodded.

  “I promised Shelly I’d go out with her tomorrow night, but maybe this weekend I can work on Zach. That gives me a few days to think of a killer plan.”