Spiralling Skywards: Book Two: Fading (Contradictions Series 2)

by Lesley Jones

  I’d allowed Carter to stay up late to wait for Lori, who Liam was currently picking up at the airport. Though, he’d long since passed out curled up in the corner of the sofa with his blanky wrapped around his hand while he sucked on his two fingers.

  I made myself a hot chocolate and grabbed a couple of Hob Nobs to dunk as I sat and read for a while. Just as I was getting to a good part in the plot, Liam’s headlights lit the room as his car pulled into the driveway. I stood and when I opened the front door, my mouth dropped open in shock.

  “Surprise!” Maggie shouted as she almost squeezed all the air from my lungs.

  “What are you doing here?” I was laughing as I cuddled her back.

  “Ahh, got bored of forty degree days on the beach and thought I’d come and slum it with you freaks who insist on celebrating in the cold.”

  “You’re staying for Christmas?”

  “I’m staying till the babies are born, maybe longer.”

  I hadn’t been anywhere near as emotional with this pregnancy as I was with Carter, but this news made me cry.

  I hadn’t seen much of Sasha lately, and due to my bed rest, I’d missed my coffee mornings with the girls from the playgroup. As much as I was looking forward to having Lori stay, I was more than pleased to have Maggie here too.

  “Where’s the kid?” She pushed past me and into the house as Lori stepped forward and wrapped me in her arms. “How are you feeling, beautiful girl? Let me look at you.”

  I returned the new cuddle I was now receiving and gave her a squeeze before stepping away. “Not bad, feeling better than I was but still nervous about Liam being away for so long.”

  “I’m not surprised. When he asked me to come over earlier because he was worried about you being on your own, I told him I didn’t think he should be leaving you.”

  I must’ve looked like I had a nervous tick, because I blinked rapidly as my brain tried to register what she was saying to me.

  “I didn’t realise he’d asked you to change your plans, weren’t you always coming in November?”

  “No, but it’s no big deal, sweetheart. I was coming in December anyway. I’ve been in your position, the girls were only two and a half when Liam came along, and Dan was always working long hours and traveling, although he was usually just interstate not overseas.”

  My eyes didn’t leave Liam’s as he wheeled two cases towards us.

  “When? When did he ask you to come sooner?”

  “As soon as you found out you were having twins, you called the same night you found out I think.”

  “Yeah, we did.”

  We had. We’d called when we got home from dinner, which meant Liam had known back then about this trip. When he promised me on the day of the ultrasound no travelling for at least a year, he knew full well he wasn’t going to be able to keep that promise.

  “Did what?” Liam asked with a smile as he reached the front door. He tilted his head and kissed me softly on the mouth. When I didn’t kiss him back and didn’t answer his question, he leant away from me and asked again. “Did what? You okay?” I wasn’t sure what the look was on my face. I was not sure exactly what it was I felt either. It was equal measures of hurt and anger with a bit of incredulity.

  Lori had gone inside the house, the chilly November night too cold for her Western Australian system.

  “We did call and tell your family about the twins the night after we found out.”

  His eyebrows pulled in tight as a look of confusion passed over his gorgeous face.

  “Why, is she saying we should’ve called sooner? It was the middle of the night for them. We waited till that late for everyone to be up.”

  He had no clue where this conversation was about to go. No clue about what I was getting at.

  “No, your mum wasn’t saying that at all. What she was saying was that she didn’t mind changing her plans so she could come early. The plans you asked her to change when you talked to her during that call.”

  I was standing just inside our front door, Liam just outside it. The hall light was off behind me, but the outside light was illuminating Liam in a soft golden glow. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, sighed, and then started again.

  “I really thought I was gonna be able to get out of it. I’d only found out that morning about the trip, and then when I saw your reaction to being told we were having twins, I didn’t wanna mention the trip.”

  He tilted his face and rested his forehead on mine. It was only then that I realised how much I was shaking.

  “I asked my mum as back up. I honestly thought I’d be able to get out of it, Sarah, but it’s too big of a deal. Almost every country in the world is on its arse right now, but China has one of the biggest growth markets. They own some of the largest mining projects in Australia and are looking for more, why shouldn’t we be the ones supplying the labour?”

  He let go of the cases he had been hanging on to and wrapped his arms around me.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being upfront and honest with you, I just didn’t wanna upset you anymore that day.”

  We didn’t argue often. We were both pretty easy-going people. Yeah, I was miserable in the mornings, but Liam had worked out that it was best to ignore me till I had fully woken up. We bickered about petty things like wet towels on the bed, the milk being left out, toast crumbs in the butter, all that kind of shit, but we’d never had a screaming match, but I felt like I couldn’t let this go.

  I let him off easily when Luke dropped the original bombshell about the trip, but this time I needed him to know exactly how I felt. Trouble was, I was so upset that I knew I would just end up crying if I said anything.

  “Not good enough, Liam. Not good enough,” I managed to say before I twisted out of his arms and walked away.

  “Don’t fucking walk away from me.” His voice was low and controlled.

  “Don’t fucking lie to me then. One thing. It’s the one thing I’ve ever asked of you.” I turned around and spat back at him.

  He let out a long breath and rested each of his hands on the handles of the cases. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he shook his head before looking up at me and saying, “I’m sorry.”

  “You always are.”

  We barely spoke for the rest of the week. The small gathering we had to let everyone know that we were expecting two boys did nothing but give me a headache. It was good to see everyone, but I was equally as happy when they left.

  After originally having no impact, my hormones were now playing havoc with my emotions, and I’d had a good long cry in the shower nearly every day. Liam hadn’t once initiated sex the entire week, which made me entertain all sorts of paranoid thoughts about him no longer fancying me, which just made me cry more. I was just over seven months pregnant with twins and gaining more and more weight each day. I felt fat, bloated, and gross—no wonder my husband didn’t want me.

  I figured Maggie and Lori knew something was up. They’d spent the week shopping and had been out of the house most of the time so they could make sure everything was taken care of before Liam left, which was in the morning.

  “Bub, I don’t wanna leave tomorrow with things like this between us.”

  “Don’t go then,” I told him without turning around to face him as we lie in bed.

  “I have to go. The Chinese are very traditional, they invited both partners. If one of us doesn’t show, they could take offence and it could jeopardise our chances of winning the contract.”

  I finally turned and faced him.

  “I know all of this. I’m aware of how important it could be to you, but you’re missing the point. Yeah, I hate that you’re going, but I understand why. That’s not why I’m angry with you.”

  I felt my bottom lip tremble as I looked directly into his face for the first time all week. He was leaving tomorrow for three whole weeks, and I regretted being so petty and dragging out our argument.

  “You hurt me,” I managed to whisper. “I feel like I
’m always the last to know what your plans are. It makes me feel like I’m second best to everything else in your life.”

  He reached his hand around my hip and pulled towards him.

  “Never, Sarah, never. You are my life. You, Carter, and the twins are my number one priority. I work the hours I do to provide this life for us. I work hard so we can have a nice home, drive nice cars, and take nice holidays.”

  “But we never see you. I’d rather sell the house and the cars and stay in a caravan in Bognor if it meant you didn’t have to travel and work such long hours. Anyway, it’s not about that. I’m hurt because you lied.”

  “I didn’t lie.”

  “You made a promise you knew you couldn’t keep.”

  “I didn’t wanna upset you.”

  “Well, you did, you have. A lot more than you would have if you’d just told me the truth in the first place.”

  “I was going to, then your blood pressure went up and I just thought it would be better not to say anything.”

  He slid his fingers into the hair at the back of my head and gently forced my face down onto his shoulder.

  “I know you’re sick of hearing it, but I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. I promise to do better in future. I love you, and I hate that you’re pissed off with me.”

  “Don’t piss me off then.”

  “I’ll make it my life’s mission.”

  We were quiet for a few long moments as he ran the tips of his fingers up and down my spine.

  “Will multiple orgasms help you forgive me?”

  “No, fuck off and shag a Geisha.”

  I felt him laugh beneath me, and I couldn’t help but smile with relief at the fact he was saying that he wanted me.

  “Geisha’s are in Japan, bub. I’m going to China and Hong Kong.”

  “Well, go shag whatever the Chinese equivalent is.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do.”

  “I don’t want anyone else; I just want you. I’ll do that thing you like with my tongue and my fingers.”

  I pulled myself up to a sitting position and straddled his lap.

  He pulled up my vest and placed both his hands on my belly.

  “I want at least two orgasms,” I told him.

  “I’ll give you three.”

  “And a Michael Kors watch.”

  “I’ll get you the watch and the bag and wallet you’ve been after.”

  He stroked my belly and my hips with his fingertips.

  “I love how your body looks when you’re pregnant. Knowing my babies are in there makes my dick hard every time I look at you.”

  “Yeah? It’s a shame pregnancy don’t love me. And you’re just weird. How can you get hard looking at this?”

  I placed my hands over my bump, and we both stared at it.

  “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

  “I don’t feel beautiful. I’ve got stretch marks this time, everywhere. On my arse, my hips, my belly . . . I swear I’ve even got them on the palms of my hands.”

  He smiled up at me.

  “You do not have stretch marks on your palms or your arse, not even your hips that I’ve seen. Apart from your belly, you’ve barely put on any weight.”

  “Well, I feel like one big blob covered in stretch marks.”

  “Good job, I fucking love stretch marks then.”

  “Like I said, you’re weird. How can you find me remotely attractive right now?”

  He sat up so that we were face to face.

  “Listen to me, pregnant wife of mine, when will you understand, believe, and get your head around the fact that I will never find you unattractive? Not. Ever.”

  I gave up my fight against the tears, and he leant in and kissed each of my eyelids, then my nose, lips, and chin, making his way down my throat and across my chest.

  He pulled my vest off completely and tossed it to the floor without taking his eyes off my boobs as he took them into his hands. His mouth was on me then, and he started licking, sucking, and blowing on my nipples, which elicited a groan from me as I ground my hips against him.

  “I fucking love how bad you want me while you’re pregnant, too. I think you should just stay pregnant for the next few years.”

  “No way. I think we should seriously think about shutting up shop after this.”

  I decided to broach a topic that had been on my mind lately.

  “I’ve been thinking, maybe you should make an appointment to see your doctor about getting the snip before the twins are born. That way there’s no risk of this happening again.”

  There was only moonlight illuminating the room, but he pulled away from me and looked at me with wide eyes.

  “The snip? A vasectomy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You don’t want any more kids?”

  “You don’t think threes enough?”

  “I’d rather have four.”

  “Four? Four kids?” I thought about four of Carter running around. He was an unbelievably good kid, but would I get lucky and have four like that, though?

  “Can we wait until the twins arrive and see how we manage with three before we make any decisions?”

  “We can do that.” I agreed.

  “Okay then.”

  He wrung two orgasms out of me before I collapsed from exhaustion, but he was not finished and slid inside me from behind, giving me the three that I’d requested before he left in the morning. All I had to hope was that he’d deliver on the gifts that he’d promised, and I wouldn’t deliver our babies until he was home.

  ***

  Contact while Liam was away had been fine while he was in Hong Kong, but they’d travelled to Northern China for their final week, and all I had gotten since were emails and calls from the hotel phone.

  His time away had gone pretty quickly, between trips to see my obstetrician, the midwife coming here every day to check my blood pressure, and having Lori and Maggie around to keep me company, I’d been just fine. I had only four more days to hold out, and I felt good about it.

  “He’s finally gone down.” Maggie breezed into the room and plopped down on the sofa, giving Sasha a strange look.

  “Told you not to tickle him before bedtime, that’s not the way to get a kid to chill and relax.”

  “Oh hush. It wasn’t the tickles, it was the chicken tikka you fed him.”

  “What’s wrong with chicken tikka?”

  “It’s foreign.”

  “It’s the most popular takeaway dish in England.”

  “What’s wrong with a good ol’ pie and sauce?”

  “That’s not a thing here.”

  “Well, it should be.”

  “Well, it’s not, and I’d rather he eat chicken breast and not a pie that could contain horse, cat, dog, or anything.”

  “Maggie, you sound like such a bogan sometimes. Sasha, what are you doing child?”

  We were having a girl’s night in. Lori had woken up from her food coma she had slipped into after our takeaway and the wine she’d consumed before and during her meal. We all had Indian, while Maggie who wouldn’t even attempt a taste of anything that contained any seasoning other than salt, had fish and chips.

  “I’m listening to the babies move.”

  Sasha replied without lifting her ear from my tummy, which was how she had been positioned for the last ten minutes. Not that I minded, it was actually quite relaxing to be lying on the floor in front of the fireplace.

  “They’re really active tonight.” She looked up at me and beamed a smile.

  “They’re always active at night, hope that’s not a sign of things to come.”

  She laced her fingers together over my belly and rested her chin on them.

  “I can’t wait to have a baby.”

  “Really? I thought you were still undecided about Shain.

  “I am. I didn’t say it had to be his.” She finally sat up before I had to tell her she was crushing me and retrieved her wine glass.r />
  “You’re still unsure about Shain? How long have you two been flying back and forth to see each other?” Maggie asked.

  “Four years now.”

  “If you’re not sure by now, my lovely, then you never will be.”

  I held out my hand to Sasha, and she helped me up as she considered Maggie’s words.

  “I know. When I got home from my trip to see him in July, I realised as I landed, how happy I was to be home and I was gonna finish it with him. I felt bad not doing it in person though.”

  “So, you’re gonna let him fly all the way here for Christmas and do it then? That’s a bit harsh,” I said, letting her take a seat on the couch before I sat next to her.

  “I think he’s a bit of a dick. I’d just call and tell him. If you tell him now, he might be able to change his flight and go somewhere else and drown his sorrows. Bali or Thailand, somewhere like that.”

  “Sasha, ignore my daughter.” Lori said, tossing the magazine she had been flicking through down on to the coffee table. “Maggie, you can’t go around calling other people’s boyfriends dicks.”

  “Why? Am I not allowed to have an opinion? You smoked too much weed when you were younger, Mum, it’s scrambled your brain. Now you’re old and think everyone’s lovely.”

  Lori’s mouth dropped open.

  “Sarah, Sasha, ignore her. I did not smoke weed.”

  Maggie tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows, in an ‘oh really?’ gesture.

  “Well, maybe a little, but not too much.”

  “My mum used to smoke weed,” Sasha stated. “She used to be really cool, but she’s changed.”

  “How so?” Lori asked, obviously relieved she didn’t have to justify her pot smoking habits.

  “She’s turned really nasty. I don’t know what happened, but it was about ten years ago. She’d been acting weird for a while, and then we were all going to a festival one weekend.” She turned to me. “Do you remember, Sares? We all went to Glastonbury before Luke went travelling.”

  I nodded my head.

  “One minute she said I could go and the next she was screaming at me, telling me I wasn’t allowed and she wasn’t having a daughter of hers whoring herself out to group of older boys in a field full of druggies.”