Marine Under the Mistletoe (Always a Marine)

by Long, Heather

  The relentless certainty paralyzed her objections. Swallowing around the lump in her throat, she rubbed her cheek to his chest. Tears swam across her vision and she blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. “Why this time? You’ve had leave before, surely—where did you go, if not home? Why did you decide you needed to come home now?”

  “I was tired and I think I needed to remind myself of what I was fighting for. Most of the leaves I took, I stayed close to base or headed somewhere to fish with the guys. I didn’t think anyone here could really understand—I disconnected from the life I had, to live the life I needed to live.” He cradled her closer and she slid a leg over the top of his. “This time, I got the e-mail from Mom and knew I wanted to be home. So I had the time, I got the approval, and here I am.”

  “I have an idea.” She eased from his embrace and sat, wanting to see his face. He turned his head, keeping one hand on the small of her back. “You need to spend time with your family and your friends tonight, at the circle, celebrating Yule and dancing, and laughing—all the things you would have done.”

  “Not liking where you’re going with this unless you plan to be there, too.”

  “I do, but—” She stared at him until he halted his objection. “But you’re focusing on me. I’m easy—but I want to know it’s me you’re focusing on and not the fact that I’m not them. Does that make sense?”

  “In a vaguely insulting way, yes.” Irritation deepened his grumble, but he sighed.

  “I’m not going to disappear. But we’re in this bubble—you and I. It’s intense and, yeah, I want to see where it goes. I’d like to kiss you all night long—again—but naked this time.” Bold and brassy as she sounded, her face flushed until she must resemble a tomato. “But I want it to be because that’s where we both want to be and not because either of us is hiding.”

  “Are you hiding, Rowan?” Something shifted in his manner, his gaze, seemed to sharpen, become almost predatory. Something told her he sized up her objections, her ideas, and he was the type of man to come up with a plan. Her practical side worried, but the rest of her—that deep feminine part he made purr sat up and took notice. If she ran…

  …he would chase.

  “Maybe. I don’t usually disappear for hours at a time with a man I’ve just met.”

  His fingers flexed against her jacket. “Only me.” It wasn’t a question or a request.

  “Yes, sir, Sergeant Grumpy. Only you. So—do we have a deal?”

  “I’ll dance, I’ll chant, I’ll go to the circle and celebrate with my family and our friends.” The emphasis wasn’t lost on her. “And then after—it’s you and me.”

  Stomach flip-flopping, Rowan agreed. “You and me.”

  The woman tempted him like no other and strained his patience to the breaking point. Since their lazy walk back from the lake side, she’d been around, but kept her distance. He thought he could coax her into at least a nap, since she’d been awake all night, but she diverted right into the kitchen to break up her cracker crack for the feast later that day and smacked his hand when he tried to snitch a piece.

  “You keep scowling like that, your face is going to freeze.” Jensen leaned next to him, mirroring his posture.

  Sparing the little man a half-smile, Kaiden shook his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be fixing the damage to the rec room?” He’d heard his mother corralling the children earlier after discovering that they’d turned the big game room in the basement into an unmitigated disaster for “Nerf War” while most of the adults slept off their all-night vigil.

  “I didn’t actually make the mess.” Jensen shrugged. “I fell asleep on the sofa. That was the other guys.”

  “And you’re not helping your cousins or your friends? Not cool, man. Not cool.” Kaiden shook his head in disappointment.

  “But I didn’t do it. Why should I have to help?”

  “Doesn’t matter. You have their back; they’ll have yours. It’s how it works.”

  The towheaded kid gave him a skeptical look. “Then why aren’t you helping clean up the circle from the campout even though you weren’t there?”

  “Damn good question, kid.” Kaiden straightened and hit the top rail with an open palm. “I’ll head down and give them a hand. You go help your friends downstairs. Deal?”

  Jensen apparently didn’t care for his bluff being called, but grumbled an agreement. Hiding his amusement, Kaiden left him to it and headed out for the trail. If Rowan wanted him to spend time with his family and friends, he could do that. His body remained uncomfortably aware of her, and he’d much rather spend the afternoon sprawled on a bed and explore her every luscious curve.

  Work first. Play later. And yes, he and Rowan would definitely be playing later.

  ***

  “Sun’s still up. Fast ’til sundown, remember?” Kaiden eyed the longneck beer bottle Aaron held out.

  “Eh, close enough.” He nodded to the orange and red horizon with its streaks of purple. They’d spent the afternoon scrubbing the circle of all traces of the campout, clearing any sharp sticks or rocks that could potentially damage bare feet, and Kaiden hung out to help him set up the torches.

  “I’ll wait.” Rituals needed observing—it was how they became rituals in the first place. When a person skipped the parts they didn’t like, it devalued all of it.

  “Fair enough,” Aaron set the bottle back into the cooler, flipped the lid shut, and sat. “So, have you heard of Mike’s Place?”

  “Yes.” Everyone he knew had heard of it and the work Captain Dexter and his men had done on the rehabilitation center. “Did you draw the short straw to find out if I have PTSD?”

  The ugly red flush staining Aaron’s neck gave him away before he choked on his beer. Coughing hard once, he shook his head. “I told them you’d see right through me.”

  “You’re not exactly subtle,” Kaiden agreed. “You can tell everyone I’m fine. I needed to relax. I’m relaxing.” Surprisingly, he didn’t have to lie about his current state. The night before had eased the hard knot in his gut, washed some of the tension out of his muscles, and the only thing winding him up at the moment was the gorgeous redhead at the house. But he had a solution for that, too.

  “We’re here for you, you know that.” Plain, heartfelt sentiment eased his conscience further.

  “Straight up—did it bother you that I didn’t come home?” He didn’t have to like the answer, but he did need to know how badly he’d handled things.

  “Yes and no.” Aaron took a long swallow of beer before continuing. “Dude, I’m not going to pretend I have any idea what you do or what you went through. It made your mom sad that you didn’t come home. We missed your ugly-ass face. But you do what you gotta do and you’re here now.”

  “Thanks for clearing it up for me.” Chuckling, he paced out a slow circle. “Wasn’t sure I even wanted to be here.”

  “Sounds pretty normal to me.” Aaron surprised him again. “Hell, I cut out for four—maybe five years? Didn’t show up for the big stuff, barely there for full moons. Went away to college, came home, got a job. Focused on finding my place in the world.”

  Intrigued, Kaiden stopped pacing and faced his friend. “Why did you come back?”

  “’Cause it’s home and ’cause Melissa was curious.” His wife, and the mother of at least one of the kids he’d met. “She likes it—being in the coven, learning from your mom and the other ladies, getting together for Esbats.”

  “So why not before though?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. I grew up in this life, and so did you. But it’s a lot like hanging out with your parents. You like them and they’re great, but the moment you go back—you’re the kid again.” Aaron belched at the end of the sentence. “And I didn’t want to be a priest. I like celebrating. I like the people. But I’m not a teacher. Unless you want to learn how to be a shit and then I got that down.”

  Kaiden laughed. “Fair point.” And one he hadn’t considered. Coming home had made him remembe
r being the kid. The kid he couldn’t afford to be in the sandbox.

  “That said, it’s damn good you did show up. Be nice to Rowan, she’s a sweet lady.” Warning echoed in his proprietary air.

  “I’m not planning to hurt her.”

  “Good. ’Cause then I’d have to try and hurt you—and you’re meaner than I am.” But that didn’t mean Aaron wouldn’t try. The sun inched down further. “Almost dark. You want that beer now?”

  “Hell why not? Let’s get the party started.” Is she worried that I’ll hurt her? Or is it the leaving part that worries her? He didn’t have any easy answers, but maybe he didn’t need them.

  An hour later, Kaiden regretted the beer because the temperatures hovered closer to freezing than they had since he’d set foot back in Texas. The weather channel issued a snow watch and the clouds rolled in on an icy breeze. A quick debate convened about whether they wanted to celebrate indoors or out and a compromise was struck. The kids didn’t have to go and they put the teens in charge of the little ones. The adults would hold a quick ritual under the cloudy skies and then retreat to the house to feast.

  Kaiden kept his eye on Rowan. She’d worn gloves along with her white jacket and white knit cap to cover her ears and stamped her feet as she lined up to wait. The women entered the circle first and then the men—unsurprisingly, his mother and father were leading the ritual tonight. While Blue Circle rarely held someone in the position of high priest or priestess, the elders rotated the Sabbats amongst them, and his mother’s two favorites were Samhain and Yule.

  She greeted each arrival with the same whispered words and when it was Kaiden’s turn, she pressed the, athame, her ceremonial blade, to his chest above his breastbone. “And how do you enter the circle, my son?” Her level of drama always added to the ceremony, and he met her gaze evenly.

  “In perfect love and perfect trust.” He didn’t hesitate and the words didn’t rattle. He did enter exactly that way and he looked past his mother to where Rowan waited on the eastern side of the circle.

  Lorraine chuckled and leaned up to give him a kiss. “Then enter and be welcome.” Normally she would have moved on to the next, but instead, gave him a hard hug and he returned the embrace.

  “I’m here, Mom,” he whispered.

  “I know.” She sniffed once and stepped back, then winked and, though her eyes were suspiciously damp, her smile didn’t falter. “Go find our girl.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He followed the circle around deosil—clockwise—and grinned as Aaron made room so Kaiden could stand next to Rowan. All told, about twenty-seven people stood in a loose circle by the time his mother greeted the last arrival and closed it.

  The breeze grew steadily stronger and colder, guttering the torches set at each of the four quarters. No way would anyone could keep the candles lit in this. His parents called the invocation and they linked hands, the circle ratio nearly balanced in male to female.

  “It is the season of the Crone.” His mother spoke in a soft voice, but it still carried despite the wind. “It is the time of the winter goddess, she who oversees the passing of the year and the turn of the dark to the light. The eternal cycle of birth.” Lorraine’s gaze caught and held his. “Life. Death. And rebirth. We have seen the old year pass at Samhain, and the descent to true darkness, and last night we sat in observance of the light’s return—it is time welcome the sun back to the land and the growth of days even as we shiver in the cold of winter.”

  And they were shivering.

  “I light this candle to honor the Crone.” It took her a moment and Henry’s help, but the pair managed to light the black candle and set it down in the hollow of where they’d held the fire pit the night before. The makeshift windbreak kept the flickering light alive.

  Rowan squeezed his hand and stepped toward the center of the circle and Melissa approached from the opposite direction. Lorraine passed a white candle to Rowan and a red to Melissa.

  “As the Crone lies down for the winter, it is the time for the Maiden to claim what is now hers. The wheel has turned once more.” Rowan’s crystal voice wrapped around him, and it was as though he wanted to lean into the sweetness of the sound. Of course she fulfilled the role of Maiden, and Melissa, the Mother.

  Lorraine and Henry helped the two women light their candles and they set them down into the depression, then she removed a pendant and passed it to Melissa. Melissa kissed the necklace and reached over to drape it around Rowan’s neck.

  The hair at his nape stood on end and energy sizzled over him. How could he have forgotten the simple beauty of these enactments, of embracing a faith that had sustained him to manhood?

  “The days will grow longer now as the sun returns.” Melissa’s voice sounded deeper, a richer counterpoint to Rowan’s crystal voice and his mother’s aged wisdom. “The Crone’s season ends and the Maiden’s begins. Listen to all that have come before you and be wise in how you make your way—I wait for you at Spring.”

  “Thank you.” Rowan kissed Melissa’s cheek and then Lorraine’s. “Thank you for your wisdom and your patience. You have seen the season through to its end and we honor you for all that you do.”

  The three women formed a triumvirate with their closed circle within the circle and bent their heads together. Silence reigned and Kaiden found himself whispering a soft prayer. Thank you for bringing me home to be reborn with the year.

  “All changes when a new life is born.” Henry spoke after a long moment. “The dead fades away, that which was is no longer. Life is ever-changing, ever-renewing, and we grow stronger for our losses, our sons return to us. Those who left as boys and girls return to us as men and women. Always changing. Always constant.”

  Henry paused and swept his attention around the circle, meeting and holding each person’s gaze until he locked eyes on his son. “It is the way of our life. Thank you, Goddess of the Winter, for casting your eyes upon us this night, thank you for standing guardian against the darkness draping our land and for helping us to nurture the fire until the light could return. Grant us the wisdom to make the right choices, the strength to see them through and the peace of knowing we have done all that we could, and let us give you and each other love.”

  “Blessed be,” the three women said in perfect harmony.

  The connection snapped the last chain shackling his heart and Kaiden drew in a deep breath. The leaden weight of his choices slipped free and he let them go. What was done was done. Tonight he could mourn the passing of the light and celebrate its return at the same time.

  A chant began on the far side of the circle, one as familiar to him as his own name and, by the time Rowan returned to stand next to him, her fingers threading with his, he had no problem joining in. “We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return….”

  They made it through two more rounds of song before the first fat flakes began to fall from the sky. Rowan tilted her head back to look up at the snow and she laughed.

  Yes, the light had definitely returned to his world.

  Chapter Six

  The snowfall failed to dampen their spirits, transforming their wooded escape with the kiss of winter magic—each dainty snowflake a chilly brush to Rowan’s skin. Laughter bubbled through her soul and she didn’t object when Kaiden captured her hand and held on. They danced all the way back to the house. Snow after several warm days in a Texas winter wasn’t unheard of, but it never failed to awaken her delight. A delight she hadn’t experienced in three years.

  Driven by hunger and laughter, the adults streamed into the house, but Kaiden diverted her when she would have followed and pulled her close. “Dance with me.”

  Her breath caught and she went tight with the flush of desire. “There’s no music.”

  “So?” He wrapped his arms around her and she had no choice but to put her hands against his chest. The sounds around them faded; it was just the two of them in the gentle falling snow. Even the drifting flakes became a meaningless blur of motion. “I want to dan
ce with you.”

  It would be so easy to fall in love with a man who focused all of his attention on her the way Kaiden had the past three days. “I don’t want a broken heart.”

  “I don’t want to break your heart.” He nuzzled her forehead. They swayed together. His grin hit her hard; the softness around his eyes coupled with the relaxed line of his jaw enchanted her. “I’m not going to break your heart.”

  “You can’t know that.” She sighed because he wore relief and happiness so beautifully. “I’m not a fling kind of girl.”

  “Good.” Pleasure underscored the word. “I’m not looking for a fling.”

  Since he opened the door…. “What are you looking for?”

  “I’m not looking,” he told her in a low, intimate voice and brushed his lips to hers. “I’ve found.”

  Shock rippled through her as he continued to tease her with his wonderful, clever caresses. “We just met.”

  “I know, it’s wonderful.” He chuckled, the sound vibrated along her skin, and her nipples went taut beneath the layers of her clothes. “I have never been so glad of trusting my instincts as I was when I realized that if I hadn’t listened to them—if I hadn’t come home—I wouldn’t have met you.”

  Her throat tightened and she had to swallow a painful lump. “Kaiden….”

  “Shh.” He cupped the back of her head and urged her to lay her cheek to his shoulder. It wasn’t a hardship, but the close way he held her, the nurturing tenderness housed in his steel strength—it was too much like pressing her nose against the glass. She could see it and feel it, but how would they possibly ever work out? “Listen, it’s okay if you don’t believe me. I mean, it really isn’t, but it’s okay right now. I know I’m right. I can take the time to prove it to you.”

  Blowing out a breath, she leaned back until he loosened his hold and she could gaze up at him. They’d danced around the house, slow, circling steps in the snow and, amazingly enough, the chilly stuff frosted his hair and glistened on his cheeks. “Prove what to me?”