Only Love
Page 6
“It’s really not a problem if—” Adam started, thinking he’d protest, only to be shut down when Cindy shot him the same look Joan had given me a few seconds ago. After that, he shut up. We both stood to our feet and Adam kissed his mother on the cheek, and Joan too when she returned.
“It was really nice meeting you both,” I said, leaning into an embrace when Cindy coaxed me. These hugs were something I could get used to.
“Oh, honey, the pleasure was all ours. Just keep our boy smiling like you did tonight and we’ll get along famously,” Joan interjected.
Her statement made me aware of the fact that they’d been watching Adam and I interact.
“Yes, ma’am,” I answered, lingering only a few seconds longer before Adam and I made our way to the exit and then home.
He turned off the engine after pulling into the parking lot and stepped out of the car. Again, I opened the door on my own and let myself out. The walk to the building was awkward only because I couldn’t believe what a good time I had with him. I really enjoyed his company. We walked the stairs silently, and then hung outside my door, hovering in a cloud of unspoken feelings that were getting to the point of being hard to deny.
I jingled my keys in my hand, feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden. “Thanks for inviting me. I had a really good time tonight.”
Adam nodded graciously. “I enjoyed hanging out with you. We’ll have to do it again sometime. Soon,” he added.
My temperature shot up at the mention of this not being the last time we’d do this—spend time together.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” he piped, aiming his thumb in the direction of the stairs behind him. “Let me get Gabby’s box. I’ll run up and grab it.”
My eyes shifted toward my apartment door. “You know what? Let me check on them, make sure everything’s okay, and then I’ll come with you if that’s cool.”
From the way his eyebrows shot up, my suggestion clearly caught him by surprise.
“Yeah, okay, that’s fine.”
I nodded and gave a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. On the one hand, I was definitely starting to feel him, but on the other, I knew I was treading a dangerous line.
“Hey, baby!” I greeted Rissa when she shot across the room and into my arms. “You miss me?”
Her response was one of her tight hugs that I never got tired of. “Was she good for you? No crying?” I asked Gabby, glancing over at her where she sat on the couch.
“No crying, but she threw spaghetti at me and had a laugh at my expense, but other than that, she was an angel.”
Adam stifled a laugh behind me, alerting Gabby that he was present, too. The apartment door obstructed her view of him before that, so she must’ve thought I came in alone.
“That’s funny?” she joked, and Adam pushed the door back a little to meet her gaze.
“Pretty much. Yeah, it is,” Adam replied, grinning a bit when he did.
Gabby stuck her tongue at him playfully while I looked around, just to make sure everything was intact. “If you’re good with her for a little while longer, I’m gonna run up and grab your candy from Adam’s place.”
“Thank God! I’m out of Snickers. I thought I’d have to make a run to the store,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief.
Adam shot her a look. “Not this late you weren’t,” he said, glancing down at his wrist to check the time.
I folded my arms over my chest and shot Gabby a “well, I guess you heard that!” look, letting her know I was in full support of Adam’s statement. Too often, she ripped and ran the streets at all hours of the night like there weren’t real dangers out there. All it took was a craving for McDonald’s to hit her in the middle of the night, or for her to need something trivial like a pack of batteries, and she’d be out there in the dark like it was nothing. Whenever I happened to catch her, I’d take her where she needed to go, but I knew for every time I managed to see her leaving, there were about three that she slipped past my door without me noticing. When Adam and I ganged up on her, Gabby laughed. She knew we were only doing so because we cared.
“Just keep an eye on Rissa for a few. I’ll be back with your stuff,” I said, locking the door behind me when we left my apartment.
Adam led the way and I found myself staring at him while we climbed one flight of stairs and traipsed down the hall. In such a short time, he’d completely changed my mind about him. Realizing this, I found myself wondering how he’d done it. I was notoriously hard to get close to. Have been most of my life. I kept people at a distance for a reason. Family and friends had burned me enough times that I grew tired of having to recover from the blows, causing me to create a bubble around myself, Rissa, and even Gabby. A bubble that, until now, no one had ever penetrated. At the thought of it, I looked up at Adam again.
He dropped his keys on the ledge beside the door and smiled at me over his shoulder once we entered his apartment. “It’s in my room. Be back in a sec.”
I returned the gesture, nodded once, and then looked around at his things when he disappeared. There were more boxes than furniture. Clearly he hadn’t had a chance to get settled in yet. I imagined his busy schedule and patrolling our building didn’t leave him much time to do anything else.
He came back into the living room, which was laid out identical to mine, and I could tell by his expression as he clutched the box of Gabby’s goods that he wanted to ask me something.
“So, um… since the kids are fine, and since that cookie was disgusting,” he said with a small laugh when he settled on that being the best word to describe it. “Do you maybe wanna stay a while? I have some ice cream in the freezer. It’s the least I can do after that dessert mishap.”
The corners of my mouth lifted without me realizing what was happening. I didn’t even think it over for a second before, “Sure,” slipped from between my lips.
He flashed his perfect, white teeth and disappeared into the kitchen while I took a seat on the couch. About a minute and a half later, he returned with two Styrofoam bowls with plastic spoons hanging over the sides.
“I know it isn’t fancy, but I’m gonna be honest; I have no idea which box my dishes are in.” He chuckled.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” My eyes were stuck on his as I accepted my bowl and he took a seat beside me. Close beside me.
“I hope you like Neapolitan,” he said, but my gaze slipped down to his mouth when he took his first spoonful. I couldn’t even formulate a sensible response. Instead, I took a spoonful from my bowl and kept silent to make sure I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t. I kept my eyes trained ahead until I was done. Had to. When I zeroed in on Gabby’s box by the door, I decided to just head out. Being here with him alone wasn’t a good idea.
“I should get going,” I announced, scooting to the edge of the couch.
I heard Adam stand right after I did. When I turned to look, he’d folded his arms over his chest, looking as conflicted as I felt. I tried not to let him affect me, but turning away didn’t change anything. I slipped into my shoes at the door so I could go.
“Thanks again. For everything. I had a great time,” I said, taking note of the fact that he’d taken another step toward me. My instincts kicked in and I placed a hand on the doorknob, aware of the contrast between what I wanted to do and what I knew to be the right thing.
Instead of responding to my statement with words, Adam took my other hand, entangling his lengthy fingers with mine, and I got lost in the sensation of his digits sliding in between mine. The brazen gesture caught me off guard and I sucked in a breath, seeing the certainty in his eyes. No actual words were spoken aloud, but I felt like I heard Adam loud and clear, understood how he felt, even if the feelings he was harboring were yet new and unexplored. Those dark lashes shrouded his eyes as his gaze dimmed and he came even closer.
My body went rigid at the feel of the wall against my back, meaning I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to. But I didn’t—want to go anywhere, that is. Ada
m came dangerously close—so close his scent filled my space and I had no choice but to breathe him in. He wore no cologne, just gentle hints of whatever soap or body wash he used. It was better than any expensive fragrance he could’ve purchased. They would’ve done nothing but ruin his natural aroma. It was simply the smell of him… and I loved it.
He took another step and now we were toe to toe. My fingers slipped off the knob when he gently took possession of that hand, too. It didn’t matter, though. At this point, leaving him here alone no longer seemed like the next action I wanted to take anyway. As if reading my mind, Adam erased the last few inches of space that were no longer welcome between us. His chest pressed against mine when our lips met, and I inhaled a breath so long and deep that I became lightheaded. Or maybe that was just because of him. His lips were soft and warm just like I’d imagined they were. I somehow appreciated the hint of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry that flavored our kiss more now, tasting them on his lips instead of on a spoon. He was right; this was a much more suitable dessert.
My mouth parted in submission, welcoming Adam’s tongue inside when he took our kiss to a deeper level of intimacy. My knees went weak and I felt his heart racing through his shirt. His fingers squeezed mine tighter as he leaned into me, sandwiching me between him and the wall, which was just as firm and unyielding as his body.
My lips felt slighted when Adam tore away from them, grazing over my cheek as he traveled to the side of my neck. My eyes drifted shut after the sensation drowned me in a haze of lust and yearning. His lips were still damp from our kiss, intensifying the feel of them against my skin. I was so entranced I didn’t even realize my hands were freed from Adam’s grasp until I felt his inching up my torso, exploring me on top of my clothes. With him so close, I felt like he was everywhere—all over me. Maybe he was. And maybe I loved it.
His palms stopped just beneath my breasts and my pulse accelerated. The feel of his thumbs brushing slowly over my nipples made them tighten, leaving me resentful of the shirt and bra keeping my skin from connecting with Adam’s. The frustrated groan that escaped his throat led me to believe he had the same thought.
I wanted more. Wanted it all. But the image that flashed in my head shut down my entire body in an instant. One face was all I had to envision to bring everything to a screeching halt. When I pressed my hands against Adam’s chest, he backed off right away, concerned and confused if I had to guess by his expression.
“I can’t do this. I’m not supposed—” was all I said before closing my mouth.
Adam looked me over—my lips, my breasts, and then finally my eyes. “Did I make you uncomfortable?” he asked, still somewhat breathless.
My head spun. “No. It’s not you,” I explained. “My situation is just… complicated.”
He didn’t move away, just studied my expression carefully. “Are you… are you with someone?” he asked, no anger or judgment in his tone. It seemed as though he simply wanted to figure out what had caused me to retreat so quickly. “I just thought that since… since it’s always just you and—”
I reached down and grabbed Gabby’s box, wanting to flee before Adam had a chance to see the heavy onslaught of guilt that was going to take over my expression in 3… 2… 1…
“I’m sorry, Adam, but this was all a mistake. I shouldn’t have…” I trailed off, knowing I only half believed what I was about to say anyway. “I have to go.”
Confused, Adam stepped away and let me leave without protest. I took the steps down to my floor by two, wondering how and why I let him get inside my head like I had. But it was the truth. I liked him—more than I was allowed to seeing as how it wasn’t just Rissa and me like Adam assumed. The truth was, I was still very much in a committed relationship with Javi, and I’d just messed up.
Big time.
Maybe I misread the signs with Aubrey. I mean, I didn’t plan what happened. Kissing her. Tasting her. But that’s what I wanted, what I felt like she wanted too, which was why I had or I never would have went there with her. I must have gotten lost somewhere along the course of the events last night. Maybe I picked up signals that may not have been there. But then again, I didn’t think so. She said she shouldn’t with me. Not that she didn’t want to.
Was there someone else?
That question plagued me since last night, and into today at the start of my shift, my partner driving us around the residential neighborhoods, tapping his finger on the steering wheel while he whistled. If I was being honest, that question haunted me a bit earlier as well. Aubrey had a child, and whether it was just she and Rissa the majority of the time or not, her baby had a father. He might be in the picture, he might not, but he was there.
I should have asked her about him. You can never assume anything when it comes to dealing with a situation that involves a child. That was my fault. I wouldn’t make it again. If she didn’t say anything first the next time I saw her, I’d ask. I really liked Aubrey, yes. But I’d back off if that’s what she needed me to do. It wasn’t just her in this situation, and I needed to be conscious of that.
Don’s deep laugh kicked up beside me, causing his dark mustache to move with the sound. “Check that out.”
And I did, just ahead to a vintage muscle car stopped at the light in front of us. The owner took care of his baby. A perfect shine gleaming off the rims and a fine paint job let me know this work wasn’t done by an amateur. I didn’t consider myself much of a car guy, but I could definitely give a nod to some nice art. A comment beside me let me know that’s not why Don called attention to the vehicle.
“Everything on that car is probably hot,” he said. “These people.”
He smirked and pointed at the back to a detail I missed because what other reason would I have to call attention to it. His index figured directed to the bumper, a decal of a Puerto Rican flag on the back.
I glanced back to the light, not regarding the comment or the action. I’d like to say instances such as this never happened with Don. Damn, did I. But unfortunately, I couldn’t. The man was a damn good cop, but even the best of us could be the most shortsighted.
The light changed and I forced myself to ignore the turn in my gut by yet another occurrence of this with Don today, but the feeling didn’t ebb away long. Our dash vibrated as the car ahead turned on their radio at the change of the light. The sound of music I normally listened to cut through the air, but at about ten times the volume I listened to it. We cruised behind the vehicle for a bit, not following as we were on route, but when Don’s knuckles went white on the wheel, his jaw working at the car traveling down the street in front of us, I realized every meter traveled could easily be interpreted as tailing. We headed down a back alleyway with them, and I knew for sure we were off course for the day.
I cut a look to Don, sighing a little. “Maybe we should just let this one go.”
Yeah, their music was loud, but my partner needed to keep his cool these days, lie low and not make waves on tiny details. Our precinct was under the public eye again after a case we all thought went cold when Manuel Lopez was put away. He was under the public eye again. Don could be hot headed, but he couldn’t let that rule his actions. Not now. Just not now. We had no idea what we were dealing with in regards to the Lopez case, but if the nightly news meant anything, we had reason to take the reopening of it seriously. Representative Garcia was letting it be well known the family had his support, and it was only a matter of time before the details of that day would be highly scrutinized. If not more than it was before. IA would be asking Don questions soon about the events, and myself by association. I had been there that day, a detail that had followed me every day since.
This man today and the volume of his music was not a pressing issue, could be overlooked, and if I’d been by myself, I would have given the guy a break. But I was with my partner, and as we continued to follow the vehicle, I honestly didn’t know if he was pursuing out of the obligations of his job or something else entirely. That worried me.
A second. Lots of things happened in seconds, careless acts and poor choices, and this felt like it could be one of them. I watched anxiously as he got out of the car. He had his hands on his hips, close to his belt loops, and I noticed his right hand. He had it awfully close to his gun holster, unnecessarily so, and when he stopped in front of the car and settled his hand on top of it, my mental fear came to fruition.
He was using the position of his hand to intimidate, and I didn’t like that. Not at all.
The driver rolled down his tinted window, and Don leaned forward, looking inside. The loud music softened and I could only assume the two were talking. I couldn’t hear a word he said at my position, but I was on edge. It felt, for some reason, like I was waiting for something to happen and not knowing what that something was didn’t sit well with me.
I worked my hands in my lap until my anxiety became too much and I moved one of them, edging back to my own holster. If I had to act, I would, point a gun to talk someone down. It scared the hell out of me that I didn’t know who that person would be.
Suddenly, my partner rose up his tall frame and he removed his hand from his gun. He turned toward me. Lifting his hand, he gestured me over with his fingers, and that action brought down the previous intensity rolling around in my chest like an angry wave of fire. Don looked nothing but calm. He wasn’t going to do anything.
I lowered my hand from my own holster and to the door handle, stepping outside. He met me as I just cleared the hood of our car to his side. He had the man’s license in his hand. “I’m going to run his license,” he said, palming it. “Keep an eye on the two.”
I nodded without question, heading over to the vehicle. I didn’t know what probable cause made him want to run the license, but I didn’t ask. That would be disrespectful, and I trusted Don’s judgment. I got over to the driver window of the car and bent to say good day to him. I did, and noticed immediately he was a kid. He was barely twenty, if that, and had an even younger guy in the seat next to him. The two looked like they were playing thug for sure. All tatted up, they had an anger in their eyes that maybe saw hardship, but fortunately nothing more than that. I knew that look. Saw it every day on the streets and at the precinct, and what these boys were sporting wasn’t it. These kids weren’t hardened criminals, and if they had done anything, I highly doubted it was any worse than a misdemeanor. They hadn’t traveled into that life yet, and that made today’s pull over even more unsettling. I hated how people reacted to my uniform, how they associated it with negativity, and things like today only reinforced that stereotype that cops were one thing.