by Jo Meadows
‘Okay, one glass of wine coming up. Is it alright if I join you?’
Lynnette smiled at the thought of her Mum having a glass of wine. What’s the harm, she thought, as she poured them each a glass. She’s had a hard time lately. Good for her, let her have a little treat, she deserves it.
As she finished the cleaning, Lynnette glanced into the living room to see her Mum dozing in her chair. A little snooze will do her good she thought, and then she went to take out the rubbish she’d collected.
While her Mum continued her nap, Lynnette sat thinking in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Michael had called the previous evening and what he’d said had been really disturbing. He’d had a discussion with Susan about their Mum and although there was nothing concrete, Susan had said that she never felt comfortable around Georgina. There’d been nothing specific, just the odd comment whenever she’d been alone with her that had left her feeling unwelcome. Comments about the way the kids were dressed or about their table manners and comments about herself. Georgina had been very polite but Susan had always been left feeling as though she thought Michael could have done better in his choice of partner.
Michael also said that the kids had both been spoken to privately by their Mum without either him or Susan knowing. Davy, their son, had been asked to think about the way he spoke and that he should try and be more polite around grown-ups. Most worrying was that their Mum had spoken with Suzie, their eight year old daughter, and had told her that her Mummy had said that she thought Suzie was becoming cheeky and rude as she was growing up. She’d told Suzie that she didn’t think she was cheeky or rude but that she should be careful what she said to her Mummy.
In both cases the kids had been sworn to secrecy and told that their Nana loved them and would always be their special secret friend. Apparently it had taken Michael and Susan quite a while to get anything out of the kids, but when they’d convinced them that it was wrong to keep secrets from their Mum and Dad, they spoke openly about what had been said. They both said they loved their Nana but agreed that they shouldn’t be asked to keep secrets.
Lynnette had asked Michael if he thought that their Mum’s behaviour left a lot to be desired and that she hadn’t been wrong to be concerned. He agreed and said he’d been furious after speaking to Susan and the kids and that he’d been on the verge of phoning his Mum to ask her what she’d been playing at. The only reason he didn’t was because his Dad was still in hospital.
Lynnette had then asked him to think back to their childhood and see if he could remember anything that stood out as odd or unreasonable about their Mum’s behaviour back then. She also asked him go online and research Narcissistic Personality Disorder and see what he thought. After what he’d found out, he was more than happy to do this and after a bit more chat, they agreed to talk after Lynnette had returned from visiting their parents in a few days.
The suitability assessment of the house took place the next morning. The lady carrying out the assessment had said that it was nice to see what a lovely well-kept home Georgina had. Georgina had been extremely pleased to hear this and they then had a discussion about possible modifications to the house. It was decided that none were required as David would be able to get up and about and, with his sight rapidly improving, he would experience minimal difficulty.
Georgina was asked to consider whether she needed any assistance caring for David or the housework as she would be under additional pressure looking after him. She’d been very interested in this initially until she was told that any outside help would come at a price, and that she would need to submit a formal application that would require the disclosure of details of their personal finances. Georgina had then said that she would be fine and declined the suggestion of any help. The assessor had informed her that if she changed her mind she could apply for assistance at any time in the future and gave her the documentation to be able to do so. She then said that she could see no reason why David couldn’t come home as soon as possible and prior to leaving, said that her approval would be submitted to the health authority the same day and as soon as the doctors were happy, David would be able to come home.
‘Wasn’t she nice?’ said Georgina. ‘And wasn’t it lovely that she commented on how nice my house is?’
‘Yes Mum, she was very nice,’ said Lynnette while thinking, she wouldn’t have said that if she’d been here yesterday, the place was a tip. ‘Are you sure you’ll be alright without any help? After all, it’ll be quite difficult for you at first having to do everything for Dad.’
‘I’ll manage. Did you see how much I’d be expected to pay for that help? I expect they’d only be here for ten minutes a day and I’d be paying a fortune for it. All that should be free. I’ve paid my taxes all my life, you think it would all be covered under the NHS; it’s nonsense and it’s unfair.’
‘I expect it is free for those that have no money. That’s why they need financial details to make a proper assessment on what the cost should be to make it fair for you.’
‘I’m not giving anyone my financial details and they’ve got a cheek asking.’
‘Well look, if things do get to be too much for you, do at least consider it. It wouldn’t be too expensive and it would make your life a lot easier you know.’
Her Mum would have none of it and starting to become a little angry, she refused to discuss the matter any further. Realising she was wasting her time, Lynnette suggested leaving for the hospital.
Chapter 14
When they arrived at his bedside, David was over the moon to see Lynnette and with tears rolling down his cheeks he hugged her with what little strength he had. Lynnette was also quite overcome with emotion and they hugged each other until they both managed to calm down. Talking very loudly, Georgina told David about the successful assessment and that he should be able to go home pretty soon. Although he didn’t speak as such, he clearly understood and was very happy with the news. They all sat together for a while, Georgina and Lynnette discussing David’s recovery and how he would get on at home. Lynnette then left her Dad’s room to fetch coffee for Georgina and herself. As she walked past the nurses’ station one of the nurses stopped her and asked if she had time to talk with David’s doctor. Lynnette went with the nurse to an office where the doctor was working.
‘Hello, it’s nice to see you again. We met when you last visited with your husband and daughter.’
Hello Doctor, yes I remember. The nurse said you’d like a word. Is there a problem? My Dad’s getting along alright isn’t he?’
‘Yes, don’t worry, your Dad’s progressing nicely and as you know, we’ll be looking to release him very soon. Will you be visiting for long this time?’
‘I’d only planned to stay for a couple of days, why do you ask?’
‘It’s nothing really, it’s just that when your Dad goes home, it will be very difficult for your Mum at first and it would be nice if you were able to be there to support her until she gets into a routine.’
‘My Mum’s pretty organised normally and she thinks she’ll be okay. I know she’s a bit worried about whether or not she’ll manage alright though. If you think it’s a good idea I can probably stay a bit longer, just till they’re settled into a routine as you say.’
‘That would be good, I’d be happier if you could stay. There was just one other thing I’d like to discuss if you don’t mind. It concerns your Mum.’
‘Oh, what’s that?’
‘Well, after the first few days of your Dad being here and after you’d all gone home, the only visitor your Dad got was your Mum. Now I appreciate that traveling here has been difficult for her, but in the first week or two she only visited him a total of three times.’
‘Surely you’re mistaken. She told me she’s been every day.’
‘I’m afraid not. We monitor our stroke patients’ visits to make sure that they get as much stimulus as possible. Regular visits provide this and if for some reason they don’t get them, we make sure the nurses spen
d more time with them. We did have a word with your Mum and reminded her of the benefits of visits to your Dad’s recovery and since then she’s been coming more often. Do you think she’s alright or do you have any concerns about her?’
‘Well, I’ve only been here for one day. She’s obviously tired and worried, but other than that I think she’s alright. I will stay a bit longer and make sure that she’s coping once Dad’s at home and, if necessary, I’ll come back to see them every couple of weeks.’
As she left the doctor’s office Lynnette was a little worried. Since she’d last seen her Mum things had changed quite a lot. She’d started to have the occasional drink. Okay, not a problem in itself but it was something she’d not done for many years since she’d decided that drinking alcohol was a weakness and she’d frowned upon anyone that did it. She’d lied about visiting Dad. Now, why did she do that? Perhaps she was embarrassed that the doctor had spoken to her. I do hope she’s alright, she thought, but anyway, that’s decided, I’ll definitely stay and I’ll have to keep an eye on her before and after Dad comes home.
The next few days flew by as Lynnette and Georgina visited David each day and made preparations for him to come home. Lynnette had called Leo and explained why she was going to stay longer and he assured her it wouldn’t be a problem. He said that Michael had called expecting her to be home and had said that he wanted to talk with her urgently about his online research. She asked Leo if Michael felt the same way they did and he said that he did. She said she’d call Michael from her Mum’s as soon as she could.
After they’d returned from the hospital on the day before they were due to bring David home, Lynnette made sandwiches for tea while they tried to think if they’d forgotten anything they needed to do for the next day. Georgina said she was tired and had had enough of all the traveling back and forth to the hospital and was looking forward to getting back to a more normal routine.
‘I’m afraid it may be a while before your routine gets back to anything like normal Mum. But, don’t worry; I’ll stay as long as you need me.’
‘You don’t need to remind me how much things are going to change. I’m so tired lately and I’m not looking forward to all the extra work I’ll have to do when you’ve gone.’
‘Yes but just think of it; Dad will be here and you won’t be all on your own. It’ll be really nice to have him here again, won’t it?’
‘I suppose so, I’ll just have to knuckle down and get on with it. I hope it won’t be too long before he’s able to look after himself. Now, how about a glass of wine? We deserve it and I need to cheer myself up.’
‘Yes, why not? I’ll only have one though; I’ve got to drive in the morning.’
Later as they sat watching television Lynnette asked, ‘Do you like a glass of wine these days then Mum?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just that, well, you haven’t had a drink for years and, you know, you used to frown upon anyone else who did.’
‘I didn’t frown upon people. I’m entitled to my opinions; I just hated people who drank too much. Anyway, I’m allowed a bit of pleasure aren’t I? What’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing at all, as long as you don’t overdo it,’ laughed Lynnette.
‘No I’m not. Don’t be silly I’m not overdoing anything. I’m not stupid. Besides, it’s only a glass in the evening.’
‘Okay, I’m just saying. Anyway, it’s good. We can have a drink when Dad comes home to celebrate. Do you know if he’ll be allowed alcohol?’
‘He won’t be having any. It can’t be good for him with the medication he’ll be on. And don’t you go telling him about the wine. He doesn’t need to know.’
‘Why not, there’s nothing wrong with it, you said so yourself. Anyway, we can’t have secrets between each other can we? I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you’ve found a way to relax.’
‘What are you trying to say? I don’t keep secrets and he doesn’t need to know anything of the sort. Leave it Lynnette. I know you’re only trying to get to me. You always do. You always think you know what’s best for everyone. Stop it, you know I’m tired.’
‘Where’s all that coming from? I don’t try to get to you. You just don’t like anyone questioning anything you do. You’ve always been like that.’
‘Oh shut up! Leave me alone, I’m going to bed.’ Georgina stormed off leaving Lynnette alone.
That touched a nerve, she thought. Perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed it but she’s always saying how tired she is. Why? I’ve done all the work. She hasn’t done anything these last couple of days but moan about how hard everything’s going to be. I’m fed up with her playing the victim and looking for sympathy when it’s Dad that needs the support. Why is she so bothered about Dad knowing about the wine? I suppose she thinks she’ll come across as something less than perfect and she can’t have that can she? I wonder what other little secrets she’s kept from him when it’s suited her.
The next morning it was as though nothing had happened the night before. Georgina was in a good mood and asked Lynnette if she’d like any breakfast. ‘No thanks Mum. I’ll just have a coffee.’
‘I’m just putting some toast on. Are you sure?’
‘No. I’m fine, really. What time would you like to leave for the hospital?’
‘The doctor said we can pick your Dad up at two so perhaps we can leave at about half-past twelve to make sure we get there in plenty of time. I don’t want to keep him waiting. Besides they want to brief me about his medication and collect all his prescriptions.’
‘Are the physio and nurse visits all arranged or do you need to do that as well?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose we’d better check on that. I never gave it a thought.’
For the rest of the morning Lynnette busied herself with some last minute tidying up in the kitchen. She noticed that the wine that had been in the fridge had gone. She also noticed that the two unopened bottles in the cupboard had disappeared. Interesting, she thought. Perhaps it would be a good idea not to say anything after last night. We don’t need any more arguments, not today.
***
That evening as they all sat together in the living room, it seemed odd to Lynnette to see her Dad sitting in his chair and looking perfectly normal. He was far from it of course, and she almost had to shout for him to hear anything she said. If you watched him it was quite obvious that he couldn’t see very well at all, and he needed two sticks to help him to stand and walk about. When he’d first come home, after a brief rest they’d taken him on a tour of the house so he could get a feel for walking around. He did very well although he was very tired when they’d finished. Sitting and watching him now, Lynnette doubted that he would be able to manage on his own for quite a while.
Rather than shout they decided to use a notepad to communicate with him and they all had quite a laugh when they realised he couldn’t see it. Georgina found a magnifying glass and pretty soon they were having a reasonable, if slow, conversation with him. David couldn’t be happier, he was really pleased to be home and even had a little joke with Georgina; telling her she ought to get a little bell so that he could call for her whenever he needed. Georgina took it all in good humour surprisingly, and smiling, told him that if she got one she would find a very good use for it once he was up and about.
Once they’d all had something to eat, Lynnette sorted all of David’s medication into an organizer she’d bought earlier. Although there was quite a lot of it, it was all very straightforward and easy to see what he required and when. When she’d finished she showed her Mum what she’d done and explained the layout of the organizer. Her Mum grasped it almost straight away but asked for a couple of items to be repositioned because she thought it looked better. After a while it became obvious that David was tired and between them they helped him get ready for bed. Once he’d had his pills, they said goodnight and left him happily tucked-up in his own bed for the first
time in weeks.
The following morning, they were all up and about quite early. They were expecting visits from both a nurse from their local medical centre and later, a physiotherapist. The nurse was due to come twice in the first week of David being home and the physiotherapist would also come twice. Once the nurse was confident that David was continuing to improve and his medication was being managed correctly, she would only visit if requested. The physiotherapist was coming primarily to instruct Georgina in the exercises David need to do to maintain and improve his mobility and, once he was satisfied, he would also leave them alone; visiting by arrangement if required. David’s GP had called to say that he would visit at some time but couldn’t confirm when. However, he did say that if they felt they needed to see him urgently, he would come immediately.
David had a follow-up appointment at the hospital after two weeks and transport had already been arranged for that trip. All in all, everything was sorted out and arranged and providing there were no setbacks, it looked as though everything would be fine. David was very happy and Georgina had lost most of her anxiety about being able to cope with his care. Lynnette thought it was still very early days and wondered how her Mum would be able to manage the physical aspects of her Dad’s care when she was on her own. After all, it had been Lynnette that had mostly helped her Dad get ready for bed the previous night and get washed and dressed that morning. Her Mum had just stood-by and watched. Georgina did seem to be alright with the medication however, and she had correctly prepared all the right pills for the day without any fuss.
The visits went well although they made the day seem very busy. The doctor had arrived with the nurse and had been very pleased to see how well David was progressing. They had a discussion about his care and the doctor reminded Georgina that he would be available for them at very short-notice if they had any concerns.
