by Jo Meadows
Lynnette found the physiotherapist’s visit amusing, although as with David’s personal care, she was left with real concerns about how her Mum would manage on her own. The physiotherapist had taken David through a series of exercises with Georgina looking on and then asked her to go through the exercises herself. It took three attempts at most of them before he was happy that she would be able to do them properly. After he’d left, although she had taken it all in good humour, Georgina had said that she’d felt humiliated having to do the exercises with everyone watching especially with the physiotherapist correcting her all the time. Lynnette told her that by the time she’d finished she’d looked very competent and that she shouldn’t worry because she would be on her own with her Dad when she was doing them routinely.
After lunch Lynnette decided that it would be a good idea to leave her Mum and Dad alone for a while and under the pretence of doing some shopping, she went for a walk. While she was out she called Michael on her mobile. He was very pleased to hear from her and very keen to talk about what he’d found online. Without asking him any leading questions, she listened to what he had to say.
‘I can’t believe it Sis. I see what you mean about similarities in the way Mum is and a narcissist. I didn’t have it half as bad as you when we were growing up, but the atmosphere in the house was always weird; there was always some tension in the air. Do you remember?’
‘Yes, I know exactly what you mean.’
‘It was as though we were always trying to avoid upsetting Mum at the expense of how we felt or regardless of what we wanted to do. I never gave it much thought before but this explains a lot. Do you think Dad’s ever thought about her this way?’
‘No, not for one minute. Remember he’s always loved her, he probably just thinks she’s got her ways and it’s something he has to live with.’
‘I suppose you’re right. He’s usually quite happy, well he used to be. I know you said he’d been a bit down during your last visit, perhaps she gets to him some times more than others. Hey! Did you read about malignant narcissists? They sound scary. Imagine if you were living with one of those, you’d really have to watch out for yourself.’
‘Yes, I read about all that but I don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about with Mum. She just expects to get her own way and be the centre of attention in her little world. If anyone criticises her she gets upset but if she can’t win she usually just goes into a sulk. Do you remember the silent treatments all those years ago?’
‘Yes, they were awful; she made you feel really guilty even when you hadn’t done anything. Mind you when she wasn’t talking to anyone we had an easier time of it.’
Lynnette told him about what the doctor had said about their Mum not visiting their Dad and that she’d lied to her about it. She also told him about their Mum liking the odd glass of wine but not wanting their Dad to know. Michael was unhappy about the lack of visits and the lying but thought the same as Lynnette about the wine. It wasn’t a problem but it was interesting that she’d changed her views about drinking alcohol after all these years.
She told him that she would be staying with them until they were comfortable with the new routine and to give their Mum some support with the cooking and cleaning. Most importantly, she wanted to make sure that their Dad was happy and continuing to recover as well as could be expected. Michael thanked her and they agreed to talk again after Lynnette had got back home.
Later that evening when it was time to get David ready for bed, Georgina asked Lynnette if she could help him while she prepared his pills. After he was in bed and Lynnette returned to the living room, her Mum was sitting in front of the television; in front of her were two glasses of wine. ‘Where did you get that from?’ asked Lynnette. ‘I thought you’d finished all the wine or got rid of it.’
‘No, I just put it out of the way. You’re right, I shouldn’t have any secrets from your Dad; not that I do of course. I will tell him.’
‘That’s good, I know it isn’t anything really but it’s better that way. Do you think you’ll be alright helping Dad with his exercises tomorrow? You really did look like you’d got them cracked earlier.’
‘I was hoping you could help him while you’re here, would you mind? I’m going to have to do it all once you’ve left.’
‘Of course I will, I’ll do anything you want me to. I would like to see you do the exercises and help Dad get washed and dressed at least once before I go though. If you don’t do it how can you be sure you’ll be alright on your own?’
‘I’ll manage, but alright, if it makes you happy I will but will you please do it until just before you go? Your Dad will love all the attention you’ll be giving him.’
Lynnette stayed at her parents for a further three days and during that time her Mum helped her Dad with getting ready in the morning and with his exercises. When it was time for her to leave she felt that providing there were no problems, her Mum would probably manage perfectly well on her own. Her Dad was disappointed that she was going but understood that she needed to get home to her own family. His speech had improved quite a lot over those first few days and hugging her, he thanked her for helping her Mum and said that he loved her. When she went out to her car, her Mum hugged her and thanked her and told her not to worry about her Dad. After all, the nurse could come at short-notice and the doctor was also readily available if she needed him. Lynnette reminded her about applying for additional help if she felt she needed it and then they said their goodbyes and she was on her way.
As she drove away Georgina watched her leave from the driveway. Now, she thought, let’s get down to my routine; exercises indeed. I’m sure with a little effort David will be able to do them perfectly well on his own; he needn’t think I’ll be running around after him. I bet he’s loved all this extra attention. Well, all that’s going to stop, he’ll get better far quicker if he has to manage for himself.
Chapter 15
Alone at last, thought Georgina. She’d given David one last day of grace. After Lynnette had left she’d been very pleasant and helped him with his exercises while gently maintaining that he needed to try to help himself and do them on his own. She’d made and served his meals and given him his medication throughout the day. She’d helped him get ready for bed and now here she was, relaxing on her own in front of the television.
I bet he thinks he’s got it made, she thought. She decided that tomorrow she would surprise him with a nice cup of tea in bed. That will get him in the right frame of mind for the day ahead. Then we’ll see how much help he really needs to get up in the morning and later on he can have a go at the exercises all on his own. If he really can’t manage I’ll have a rethink but I bet he’ll be fine. After all he’ll be keen to get better and not be so dependent on me. Before we know it we’ll be back to where we should be and he’ll be bringing me tea in the morning.
***
In bed David was feeling happy and contented. When he’d woken up in the hospital all those weeks ago he’d remembered what he’d felt when the stroke had hit. He’d been terrified and, unable to communicate with anyone, he’d felt scared and vulnerable. The doctors and nurses had been marvellous however and, obviously very experienced in dealing with stroke patients, they’d reassured him and quickly got him on the road to recovery. Thank god for them, he thought.
It had been wonderful to have Lynnette there to help her Mum and even though she’d now gone, he’d felt a change in Georgina. She seemed really happy to help him with everything even though it must be really hard work for her. She wasn’t used to taking care of him like this. He decided he would try his hardest to get well and mobile as soon as he could. He was confident that with her by his side, he would get back to normal very soon. What would he do without her? God he loved her so much. I must remember to tell her tomorrow morning; I haven’t been telling her enough lately.
***
‘Good morning David. How are you today?’ asked Georgina. After getting no response, she realise
d that he hadn’t heard her. ‘David, good morning,’ she said a little louder - still no response. ‘Oh well,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ll just leave your tea here and you can have it when you wake up.’ Leaving the room she closed the door and went back to the kitchen. Ten minutes later she heard David moving about in his bedroom. As she went to make sure he was alright he appeared in the doorway. ‘Did you have your tea?’
‘What?’ mumbled David.
‘The tea I left by your bedside. Never mind, you mustn’t have seen it, I’ll go and get it for you, you come and sit down.’ Georgina was starting to find David’s deafness very tiresome and she couldn’t be bothered to write down everything she wanted to say. ‘Sit down,’ she almost shouted. ‘I made you some tea but it’s cold now. I’ll make some more.’
‘Sorry Georgina, I didn’t see it and I couldn’t hear you very well.’
‘That’s alright, don’t worry about it.’ She put the kettle back on and then made some toast for breakfast. As they sat and ate breakfast David passed her a little note.
It read: “Georgina, thank you so much for all you’re doing for me, I really appreciate it. You saved my life and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you with all my heart and I’m so happy that we’re together.”
Georgina read the note and for just a moment was quite touched. ‘Thank you David, you’re very welcome. I love you too.’ Pulling herself together, she pecked him on the cheek and tidied up the breakfast dishes. ‘Now, we’re going to see how well you can manage on your own today. We’ll start in the bathroom. I’ll be there but I want to see if you can wash yourself and brush your teeth. The sooner you can do it for yourself the better. Don’t you agree?’ David nodded but looked a little worried at the prospect. ‘If you manage alright, we’ll see how you get on with the exercises later. We’ll have you back to normal in no time.’
David made a valiant attempt at washing himself but was just incapable of enough coordinated movement to manage properly and by the time he gave up he was exhausted.
‘Never mind, we’ll try again tomorrow. Now let’s get you sitting down to rest and we can try the exercises in a few minutes; alright?’ Although looking even more worried than before, David nodded. He was determined to give it his best shot; he owed her that much.
David was frustrated. His attempt at the exercises had been disastrous. Georgina had stood to one side shouting encouragement but he’d sensed a hint of sarcasm in her attitude and he could just make out a smirk on her face while he was trying his best. After a while she had said that that would be enough for the day and had helped him into his chair. It had quickly become apparent that she was going to make no effort to help him get through them and that was that. It had all been a total waste of time and he’d been left feeling frustrated and angry. Frustrated with his body and angry because he’d allowed himself to resent the way she had stood by watching him. She’s only doing it for your own good, he thought. She loves you and she means well. But why did he feel uneasy? Why did he have an underlying sense of fear deep in his stomach? And why did he feel so vulnerable?
Over the next few days he was left to try to do almost everything by himself. Georgina hadn’t been in the bathroom with him when he tried to wash and the exercises were only done if he tried to manage on his own. When he’d asked her for help she’d told him that he wasn’t trying hard enough and asked him if he wanted to be treated like a baby. He gave up asking and did the best he could.
He was surprised at the change in her attitude since they’d been left on their own, she still looked after his pills but that was about it as far as his care went. When he thought about it, when Lynnette had been there, Georgina had actually made very little effort to help him; she’d left it mostly to Lynnette. In fact, she had only really taken responsibility for his medication. I suppose she thinks that having to do all the cooking and cleaning, she’s got enough to do. Thank god I can at least get around a bit, what would she have done if I was really incapacitated? It’s almost as though she doesn’t care.
David’s follow-up appointment at the hospital went well with the doctor being very pleased with his progress. Georgina was told that she was doing a very good job of taking care of him and was asked if she was managing very well. She’d said that although it was very tiring, she actually quite enjoyed looking after him. David had sat there dumbfounded but didn’t say anything.
When they’d arrived home Georgina complained about what a waste of time the appointment had been and how much of the day she’d lost traveling there and back. ‘I suppose they needed to see you and at least we know that you’re slowly getting better. If you tried a bit harder with those exercises you might recover more quickly. It’s time you stopped being so lazy with them.’
‘I do try my best. If you helped me a bit more we might get faster results.’
‘Don’t talk nonsense. You just need to get a grip and push yourself. I’m not going to run around after you forever.’
As time went on David continued to recover. His mobility improved but he still needed the sticks to get around. His eyesight and hearing although still poor, were gradually getting better. Georgina had taken to leaving him alone for longer periods when she went out shopping each day.
Sometimes she would be gone for two or three hours at a time with David wondering what on earth she could be doing. While she was out he used the time to do his exercises. Perhaps she’d been right when she’d left him to get on with it. He found that without her standing over him and correcting everything he did, he was getting on quite well. It was very hard work but he could tell they were having a really positive effect on his movement and also on his state of mind. He’d started to feel good about himself. Despite Georgina’s constant complaining that he was lazy and wasn’t trying hard enough, he was determined and knew that he was getting there slowly but surely.
***
Georgina enjoyed her “shopping” trips. She’d become fed up of staying at home with David all the time. Conversations were still difficult because of his hearing and she’d had enough of being at his beck and call. Alright; he was slowly getting better but he was taking his time about it.
She loved being out on her own. The only annoying thing she found was the number of people that asked after David. She never realised he knew so many people and god knows how they knew what had happened to him? - Gossips the lot of them. They only want to know our business so they can pass it on to all their gossipy friends. She was polite however and when asked, she said he was gradually getting better and would be out and about before they knew it. She noticed that although they asked about David, not one of them asked how she was doing. He’s not even here and he still gets all the attention; poor David; poor, poor little David. God how she resented him being ill! I wish things were back to normal, she thought. I’m having no fun these days; he can’t even hear me when I tell him what a waste of space he is.
Chapter 16
David sat alone in his chair. It was three o’clock and Georgina had been out since half-past nine. He’d got hungry around lunchtime and when she hadn’t come home he’d made himself a sandwich. Although it had been quite difficult he’d managed okay and had a great sense of achievement when he’d eaten it and cleared away the dishes. When he’d looked back into the kitchen as he left, you couldn’t tell he’d been there.
It was another half hour before Georgina came in through the front door as though she’d only been gone for twenty minutes. Asking David if he’d like a coffee she then said offhandedly, ‘Oh, it’s a little late for lunch; can you wait until teatime for something to eat? After all, you could do with losing a few pounds; it won’t do you any harm.’
‘A coffee’s fine thanks. Where have you been? You’ve been gone for a long time.’
‘Just window shopping, why? Can’t I have a little time to myself? I spend most of my time taking care of you.’
That’s a laugh, thought David. I expect I’m tiring you out; all the work you have to do
supporting me.
Georgina brought in the coffee a few minutes later. Leaning over to put it by his chair, she stumbled and dropped it right into his lap. David cried out in pain as the hot coffee ran all over his thighs. ‘You stupid man!’ shouted Georgina. ‘Why did you move? I almost tripped over your leg. Now look what you’ve done; it serves you right.’ She stormed off into the kitchen to get a cloth. David sat there speechless. He hadn’t moved as she’d leaned over, so why she’d stumbled he had no idea. God his legs stung, thank heavens it was only a cup and not something bigger. Georgina came back with the cloth and wiped at the chair ignoring David’s legs. Finishing, she threw the cloth at him. ‘You need to change your trousers. Can you do it yourself or do you need Mummy to help you?’
‘I’ll manage, what tripped you? I never moved?’
‘Oh, so now you don’t even know when your legs are twitching. The exercises must be doing you some good; they’re moving all on their own are they? You idiot!’
‘Come on Georgina, it’s only a coffee and it’s me with it all over my legs. There’s no need to get all upset.’
‘Upset! I’ll show you upset!’ She reached over punching him squarely in the face. ‘You’re a useless waste of space. God help you if you don’t get better soon. I’ve had just about enough running around after you. Sort yourself out!’ she shouted, hitting him again, and then again. ‘I’m going out before I get really angry and do something you’ll regret. If you want something to eat get it yourself.’
David was afraid and waited until she’d left before going to change his clothes. He’d been caught out by her sudden change of mood, just like the other time she’d hit him. God, I’d never be ready for that; I’d never see it coming. I thought she’d changed, I really did.
***
David woke up and could just make out that it was after midnight. Georgina hadn’t come home by eight o’clock so he’d decided to go to bed. As he got up to go to the toilet, assuming she was asleep, he tried to be quiet so he wouldn’t disturb her. It was very awkward manoeuvring through the doorways with his sticks but he managed alright.
