[2016] Widow Finds Love

by Christian Michael

  June pulled the picture of her groom-to-be out of her pocketbook, and studied it.

  “Toby Higgens. Mrs. Toby Higgens. Mrs. June Higgens, mistress of the estate.”

  June spoke out loud, trying out the sound of her husband’s name, and the name and title that were soon to be hers. She sighed as she traced the edge of Toby’s coat in the photograph. There was nothing warm about Toby.

  In the brief letters they had exchanged it had been more businesslike than it had been about their marriage. She didn’t feel as though she were going to marry a man that cared for her, but someone that cared for her money and needed her to supply that for him.

  Toby didn’t smile in the picture, and even though it was just a piece of paper, she felt a cold chill run through her spine as she looked back into his expressionless eyes. She tried to imagine herself in the photo next to him, perhaps with his hand on her shoulder.

  Part of her wondered if she would have that same look in her eyes. A cold, almost uncaring look. She wondered if she would have smiled at the photographer, or if she would have also held that expressionless face, as though having a picture taken of herself was so inconvenient she couldn’t manage to smile for the occasion.

  June leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, wishing she had a photo of the man on the platform. If there was a way to capture that brilliant blue that gleamed through his eyes, she would never look at another photograph again. There was something about that man, something that was more caring and more charming than anyone else she had ever met.

  What did he say his last name was again? It was something common, I remember that, because he pointed out his parents had named him something common in addition to his common name. But what was it? Smith? Baker? Ugh!

  Names flooded through her mind, but nothing jumped out at her as the right one. She kicked herself for not paying closer attention to what he had said.

  Not that it would make any difference now. He is on his way to marry, and you are on your way to marry, it would be highly unnatural to correspond, especially since he and I have only just met.

  But he was like an angel sent right out of heaven. Oh why could I not be on my way to marry him? Or better yet, why didn’t he come to marry me?

  She looked once more at the picture in her hands, and sighed. She shook her head as her heart once again filled with jealousy over the girl that was to marry Jacob, but this time the jealousy was mixed with a resentment toward her parents. She wondered why they had never asked her who she wanted to marry.

  Of course she couldn’t have told them Jacob, but she certainly wouldn’t have chosen Mr. Higgens, either. She had never been attracted to him, even before she had that interaction with Jacob on the platform. In fact, since the day her mother had told her of the plan, she had been dreading it. She felt as though all of her hopes and dreams in life were torn up and tossed out into the wind, and she was left standing in the remains.

  Stop this nonsense right now! You know this is all just wishes and wonders. You are set to marry Higgens and he is set to marry that other girl he spoke of, and there is nothing you can do about it.

  The only way this is going to end up any different is if he were to burst through that door and sweep you off his feet to be his wife.

  June chuckled to herself at the thought, though she half wished it would happen to her. At last, she decided it was best to push all of the matter out of her mind, and try to get some rest. She took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly, letting all thoughts of the man she was to marry… and the man she wanted to marry… drift out of her mind.

  If your wishes were fishes your pond would be full.

  And that was the last June remembered before she was claimed by sleep.

  Chapter 3 – A Crazy Idea

  “Ma’am? Excuse me, Ma’am?”

  June jumped as she was startled awake by the ticket master. Once she realized what was going on, she settled down and apologized to him. She opened her pocketbook and dug around inside, looking for her ticket.

  “I’m sorry, I know it’s in here somewhere. I get a little flustered when I travel and I tend to get things mixed up.”

  “It’s quite all right Ma’am, I see all kinds of things going on in here, and there’s no hurry. In fact, why don’t I make my rounds on the other side of the aisle, and when I return you can give me your ticket?”

  “Oh yes, that would be very kind of you, I know it’s in here, but I’m sure you don’t need to stand there and watch me find it. I’ll have it out when you get back.”

  June was relieved that he understood her situation and was kind enough to let her gather her wits about her. She felt flustered, but told herself to relax and find the ticket. She knew without a doubt it was in the pocketbook, she had placed it in there as soon as he marked it the first time.

  Finally, June found it. Her hands had warmed the front of the photograph of Toby Higgens, and that made it sticky. This caused the ticket to stick to the front of the photo, so when June pulled the photo back, she accidentally pulled the ticket back along with it.

  With a sigh of relief, June peeled the ticket from the front of the photo and grasped it in her hand, waiting for the ticket master to return.

  “Ah, I see you have found the ticket, I knew you had to have it about somewhere.” The ticket master gave her a wink, and June felt her cheeks flush red. She liked this old man, and again thanked him for his patience to her.

  “No problem Mrs. Jones. Like I said, I see all kinds of things go on in this train cart, you aren’t the first person to have misplaced her ticket when it came time to collect.”

  June smiled at him, and thanked him, but called him back to her as he passed. Something he had said she thought she misheard, and she wanted him to repeat himself.

  “I’m sorry, but what did you call me?”

  “Mrs. Jones. That is your name, isn’t it? You said it out loud several times in your sleep.”

  “Oh, of course, I should have known. I know you’re good with names, but I didn’t know how you knew that one, I don’t recall having told you my name before, but now it all makes sense.”

  June knew that her cheeks were flushed a deep scarlet by now, and she spoke so quickly the ticket master raised his bushy eyebrows and watched her with a funny look on his face. She smiled at him and nervously smoothed her skirts down against her legs, then turned her attention back out the window.

  She felt relieved when she heard him move on in his rounds, and could finally let concentrate her thoughts on what he had said.

  I called myself Mrs. Jones in my sleep? That’s so weird. I don’t know any Jones… wait a second! Jacob!

  June sat straight up, suddenly realizing her mistake. Of course that was his last name, she just couldn’t remember it for some reason when she was awake. She felt her heart pound inside of her chest, and mulled over the conversation she had with the ticket master.

  He said it so casually. Mrs. Jones. He said it as though it was my name, and it seemed to fit. I didn’t even realize his mistake until after he had left.

  Part of her felt horrified that the mistake had been made, and part of her felt giddy. She enjoyed the ring June Jones had to it, and she enjoyed even more the husband that was attached to that name. She thought so long about her name being Jones, she feared she would make the mistake on her wedding day to Higgens.

  Oh to be on my way to marry Jacob! The more I think about this, the more I can’t stand the thought of me marrying Higgens. He is simply awful, and Jacob said it himself, he doesn’t love that girl, he’s just doing what he thinks he ought.

  Suppose I were to find him and tell him not to? Suppose I were to plant in his mind the idea that he should make the decision himself? Suppose he were to decide he wanted to marry me and not her?

  The thoughts were coming to her so quickly, June hardly knew which thoughts were feasible and which ones she only wished would come true. She tried to shake the entire idea out of her mind, but as soon as she close
d her eyes once more, they came rushing back. The longer she sat on that train, the more she realized she couldn’t go through with this marriage.

  “Excuse me, sir!”

  June motioned for the ticket master to come over to her, and felt embarrassed at the way he looked at her as he made his way across the train.

  “Yes?”

  “Could you tell me when the next stop is, and how long it will take me to get to California?”

  “Well, your ticket is supposed to take you all the way to the Dakota Territory, but if you were to get off in Minnesota, you could make a connection that will take you down to California by Saturday.”

  June quickly counted in her head how long that would be. Three days.

  She thanked the ticket master, and once again turned her attention out the window.

  He didn’t say when the wedding was, but I suppose it will take a little time to get set up, with the money involved and all. Three days. I have to get there in three days or less.

  Her heart thudded in her chest, but she also felt a tingle of excitement. June wasn’t ever allowed to make her own decisions growing up, but now it was going to be different.

  She was going to decide the man whom she was going to marry.

  And that man was headed for California.

  So she wouldn’t be far behind.

  Chapter 4 – Turning Around

  “I’m sorry, but the tickets to California are all sold out!”

  “There has to be something you can do for me, it’s an emergency… I have to get there as soon as possible! Maybe there’s another town where I can go?”

  The man looked genuinely irritated at June, but she didn’t care. She refused to give up now, she had already missed her connection for her next train, and if she didn’t find another train to take her out of this town, she was going to be stranded here.

  The man looked through his book, and at a chart he had on the wall, then shook his head.

  “Sacramento is the only active station right now, I’m afraid. We are having a hard time with the bandits out on the rails and have shut down the other lines until further notice. Why is it so important that you get to California right now anyway?”

  June tried to hide the tears she felt forming in her eyes. They were more tears of frustration than they were tears of sorrow, but she still didn’t want them to show.

  “The man I love is about to make a very big mistake, and I am going to stop him.” She was going to go further with her speech, but her voice caught in her throat, and she turned to look away.

  “Oh, well now don’t you worry your pretty little head there, Miss. Coal mining may have a dangerous reputation, but I’m sure your husband is going to be fine.”

  June shot a look back at the man, and shook her head. He thought she was upset about coal mining? The audacity! She once again tried to speak up, but her voice caught and she fell into a fit of coughs.

  “I’m sorry, but you misunderstand. This man is going to go marry a woman he does not love, because it has been arranged for him to do so. The wedding is going to take place the beginning of the week or maybe even as soon as Saturday, and I have to get there and stop it if at all possible.”

  There was a bemused look of surprise and humor in the man’s face when June finished telling him her tale, and he again flipped through the book.

  “Well, I am very sorry to hear of your plight, but as I said, there isn’t another opening for you to ride for the next several days. You can either hop on the stage and see how far you can get or-“

  “The lady can ride with us.”

  A gruff voice interrupted the two of them, and June turned around in surprise. There, off to the left a little way, was a small band of miners, all dressed and dirty as though they came straight out of a mine shaft. The man looked over the miners and shook his head at them, then he turned his attention back to June.

  “You don’t want to ride with a bunch of miners, Miss, that’s a rough crowd, and certainly no place for a lady to be.”

  The miner eyed the man suspiciously, then removed his hat and made a sweeping bow right there on the platform.

  “My lady, I have heard of the plight you find yourself in, and if you can humble yourself and travel with a few miners for the way, you will find yourself in the company of your lover in just a couple of days.”

  June laughed at the elaborate show, and pulled out her pocketbook.

  “I don’t mind traveling with you at all, in fact, I think you are more of a gentleman than most of the people around here.”

  She gave another look to the man behind the glass, and he rolled his eyes.

  “I would like to pay you for your troubles. What will you take for a passage to California?”

  The miner shook his head and held up his hand.

  “There’s no price on kindness, and the fact you did not judge us by our occupation or our looks is enough payment for us. You can ride up in the front of the car with me and Billy there. It’s considerably more quiet and a wee bit cleaner.”

  Billy tipped his hat to June, and she smiled in return.

  “I can’t thank you enough for your kindness. Would you mind telling me what your name is? Mine is June.”

  “Andrew Phillips”

  The minor made another bow and held out his arm to June. She placed her small, clean hand on his broad, dirty sleeve, and picked up her parcel. She didn’t turn to see the look on the other ticket man’s face as she walked away, though she was certain he wasn’t approving of her.

  She didn’t care. June didn’t believe that kindness had to come from the hands of a well-dressed man, or that any amount of money was going to separate her from the other people on the planet. The fact of the matter was that she needed a ride to California as soon as possible, and she felt better knowing she was in the hands of miners than a bunch of rich snobs that would panic at the thought of a robbery.

  June settled into the front seat of the train, bemused at the smudges that were all over the ceiling and the backs of the seats in the coach. She pulled her parcel onto her lap and sighed with contentment.

  I am going to have quite the tale to tell you when we’re finally together.

  She thought as the train pulled out of the station.

  Chapter 5 – Dust on the Trail

  Riding with the miners was loud and uncomfortable.

  June tried to participate in the conversation as much as she could, but she came from a different world than they did, and neither of them could relate to the other. The miners spoke of dirt and struggle, and all of the dangers of the underground world.

  To June, it sounded like a mysterious and thrilling life, one that she would like to see, but never take part in. The miners crowded around her and asked her questions of the life she lived. Whether she had maids and butlers, and what she did for work. It was hard for them to imagine a life such as hers. One in which the servants were the ones who did the work and she was the one that enjoyed the time off.

  “It really gets rather boring. When you want to go out and help the servants work in the garden, or when you want to just make a sandwich for yourself. Even getting dressed yourself can be a bit of a challenge some days. I wouldn’t mind a life where I did most of the things myself.”

  June tried to brush off of their inquiries as though it wasn’t a big deal, but they were very enthralled with the idea. One of the miners was telling everyone how his wife and daughter both had to work in the town’s general store to make enough money to live on, and the other miners were saying much the same thing.

  “If I were to get married, I wouldn’t want my wife to work a single day in her life. I mine enough coal out of the ground I know I could make her comfortable for all of her days.”

  Andrew thumped his fist on the back of the chair as he spoke, and June jumped. She wasn’t used to such enthusiasm or passion in people. The crowd she was a part of was a crowd that had to keep their emotions under wraps, no matter what was going on.

 
; “Trust me, it really isn’t anything that you would want. I know it sounds like it would be a lot of fun when you don’t have it, but I would trade my life for yours in an instant.”

  “That’s easy to say when you don’t have to work for it. You live in a world where money is no problem, I live in a world where money is everything. Have you ever needed to go to the doctor and not had the money to do it? Have you ever been given the prescription for medication that you don’t have the money to get?”

  One of the miners from the back of the train was making his way to the front as he spoke, and June felt very uncomfortable. She didn’t know how to respond, because the fact of the matter was that she never had been in any of those situations. If there was anything that she ever needed, it was there.

  “I know what it’s like to want!”

  The words were out of her mouth before she even realized what was happening, and she regretted saying them. All the men in the car stopped their chatter and looked at her in surprise. Nobody expected such a small girl with no problems to have that kind of a voice, or the courage to use it with a gruff miner such as this.

  “What have you ever wanted?”

  The miner spoke with a sneer, and all the other men in the car chuckled. June could feel her cheeks burning, but she wasn’t going to back down now. She didn’t care if this was a challenge, or if the man was going to make fun of her answer. She knew what it was like to want, and while that may not be the same was what they wanted, it was want nonetheless.

  “I want love. I want to know what it is like to fall in love with someone who loves you in return, and someone who would risk everything to be with you. I have spent my life with the whole world paid for and handed to me, I don’t know what it means to actually be in a real relationship with anyone, or have anyone want to be in a real relationship with me.”

  There was silence in the car, and the miners murmured amongst themselves. Finally, one miner spoke up.

  “I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my Susan for any amount of money. Sure, she has to work and I have to be away from her for some months at a time, but there is still that love that I wouldn’t trade for all the world.”