Rush Revere and the Star-Spangled Banner

by Rush Limbaugh

  After about ten minutes we reached the steps of the Capitol and stopped for a moment to fully absorb the surroundings. We craned our necks up to look at the architectural masterpiece. Near the Capitol steps, with the white stone proudly rising above us, things were almost quiet, except for a few distant car horns. I imagined senators and representatives walking up the steps discussing a bill or another national event.

  “Hey, I can see a statue at the top of the dome,” said Cam.

  “That is the Statue of Freedom,” I replied.

  “But if we were at the Emerald City it would be a statue of the Wizard of Oz,” said Liberty, obviously in his own world.

  I clarified: “Before arriving I did a little research. The Statue of Freedom stands nineteen feet and six inches tall.”

  Tommy looked at Freedom and said jokingly, “First the Charters of Freedom and now a Statue of Freedom? You’re like the most popular person in Washington, D.C.”

  “As long as you don’t cast me in bronze and attach me to the top of a tall building we can still be friends,” teased Freedom.

  Her grandfather added, “And believe it or not the Statue of Freedom weighs fifteen thousand pounds.”

  “Freedom weighs fifteen thousand pounds,” said Liberty, “Wow, I would not have guessed that.”

  Tommy and Cam burst out laughing.

  “Not me,” explained Freedom, a little embarrassed. “He’s referring to the statue.”

  “Ohhhhhhh,” said Liberty. “For a second I thought I was as strong as the Hulk. I mean, I do carry you when we jump through the portal.”

  “Mr. Revere,” Cam asked, “you mean a hundred and fifty pounds, right?”

  I checked the info on my phone and replied, “No, the official Capitol website says the Statue of Freedom is made of bronze and weighs fifteen thousand pounds. That’s heavier than several elephants.”

  “It just shows you how massive and strong the building is to hold a statue that heavy,” said Freedom’s grandfather.

  I looked up at the two sets of huge steps heading up to the Capitol entrance. Birds chirped in large green trees that were a contrast to the white background. We were now closer to the American flags flying above the Capitol and I knew they indicated whether Congress was in session.

  The United States Congress meets here at the U.S. Capitol to debate important laws much as the Founding Fathers did in 1787.

  I kept reading aloud from my phone: “It took nine million pounds of ironwork to create the dome. It also says that the Statue of Freedom is a female figure with long, flowing hair wearing a helmet with an eagle’s head and feathers. In her left hand she holds the shield of the United States with thirteen stripes.”

  I covered my phone a bit from the glaring sun, then continued reading. “Let’s see, it says that on her pedestal is a globe with the motto—E Pluribus Unum, which means, ‘Out of many, one.’ ”

  “What does ‘out of many, one’ even mean, Mr. Revere?” asked Cam.

  “It means that out of the many colonies or states, we formed one united country,” I replied.

  “That makes sense,” said Tommy. “The Constitutional Convention was all about E Pluribus Unum, right Mr. Revere? James Madison wanted to form one united country. And the Constitution makes us E Pluribus Unum—out of many, one, or several states that form one country.”

  “He may be goofy, but he’s a smart goofy,” said Cam, patting Tommy’s head like a puppy dog.

  “Commander, what about the next clue in our mission?” Freedom asked. “It says on our cards we will receive our next clue at the U.S. Capitol Building.” Cam and Tommy pulled out their cards.

  “Sharp thinking, Agent Freedom, you are on a roll,” Liberty’s low voice returned.

  Liberty puckered his lips and made the sound of a trumpet—the kind you hear at the beginning of a grand event or ceremony. When he finished he cleared his throat and said, “Lady and gentlemen! On your marks, get set . . . oh wait, we aren’t running anywhere, scratch that, this is a mission clue.” Liberty was never short of antics. “Captain, please pass the map.”

  I pulled a piece of paper that looked like a faded treasure map from his saddlebag, and Liberty read it aloud in a deep voice.

  Go to the area inside the Capitol with the huge dome and lots of paintings on the walls. There you will find a statue of an exceptional American we have already met. 1. What is his name? 2. What state is written on the base of the statue? 3. What is in his right hand and what is in his left hand?

  Cam, Tommy, and Freedom all read the clue in detail and I put it in my pocket for future reference.

  Liberty added, “Make sure to text your answers to Captain Revere from the place where you found the statue. The first with a correct answer receives the mission point.”

  “I called ahead and asked if there was someone who could give my incredibly well-behaved students a tour,” I said, raising my eyebrows and smiling at Cam and Tommy. “I especially want to emphasize the words incredibly well-behaved.”

  Cam replied, “I can’t speak for Tommy, Mr. Revere. But you won’t get any pranks from me. Do you think we should put Tommy in a straitjacket?”

  “Ha, ha,” said Tommy.

  I turned to Liberty and repeated, “Well-behaved, got it?”

  “What are you looking at me for?” asked Liberty.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” I said, casually. “Maybe because horses are not allowed inside the Capitol Building, so you will need to stay outside. And before you even think about turning invisible and sneaking inside, don’t, because it’ll be crowded and someone is bound to bump into you.”

  “I can be well-behaved outside, too,” Liberty harrumphed.

  “Even when you are left unsupervised?” I asked.

  Liberty looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, “Would you look at that dome?”

  He was a master at avoiding questions when he wanted to.

  After distracting everyone Liberty continued: “Sorry, I can’t take credit for the dome or the awesome statue on top of the Capitol Building. But I can take credit for this.” Suddenly Liberty burped so loud and so long it caused several tourists to look in our direction.

  You would have thought the Crew had just heard the funniest joke on the planet. Even Freedom’s grandpa was laughing.

  “Did you not just tell me you could be well-behaved?” I scolded, softly.

  “Sorry,” said Liberty, apologetically. “But on the bright side I’m pretty sure that was a new record. Tommy and I were having a burping contest the other day so when I felt that one coming on I just had to try to beat Tommy’s record. Oh, and technically, I said I could be well-behaved when I’m unsupervised.”

  I shrugged and shook my head. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s find the entrance to the visitors center and find our tour guide.”

  “Have fun storming the castle,” Liberty said. “And don’t worry about me. I’ll just be out here swatting flies with my tail. But I am not jealous. Nope, not at all.”

  “Don’t worry,” said Freedom patting Liberty’s neck. “I will tell you everything as we go. We can communicate mind to mind, remember? We’ll send each other updates so you don’t miss out on anything.”

  “Why didn’t I think of that?” said Liberty. “Okay, sounds like a plan. I won’t even know you’re gone.”

  Freedom led Liberty to a shady tree, fed him a few treats from his saddlebag, and then returned to the group.

  “Thank you, Freedom,” I said. “I’m so glad you’re with us on this field trip.”

  “Me, too,” said Freedom, smiling. “Just don’t go anywhere without me.”

  It didn’t take us long to find the visitor entryway beneath the East Plaza of the Capitol Building. We walked downstairs and passed through security.

  “No more yo-yo-type incidents okay?” I said looking at Cam and Tommy.

  They both sheepishly grinned.

  In the visitors center, we saw a large plaster model of the Freedom statue we saw on top of
the Capitol dome. A large statue of King Kamehameha of Hawaii also fascinated the Crew. After a quick walk around, we entered the line for the tour and made our way to the front.

  A greeter warmly welcomed us and gave us our individual tour passes. She said, “Welcome to the United States Capitol Building,” and motioned for us to continue ahead. We watched a short introductory movie and then made our way to the Capitol Rotunda.

  Freedom whispered, “Don’t forget we have to find the answers to Commander Liberty’s clue.”

  We walked into the Rotunda and were mesmerized by its beauty. It was truly astonishing. I did a 360 and got dizzy looking at all the amazing sights. There were intricate carvings on the walls and a gold ceiling. The floors sparkled and the flat columns rose in a circle. All around us, tourists admired the sheer magnitude of the room.

  “Ah, I got this!” Cam exclaimed, pointing to large paintings on the ground floor. “Those look like the paintings Liberty was talking about. The statue has to be around here somewhere.”

  Freedom’s grandfather looked carefully and said out loud, “I think Cam is right. There are the Pilgrims on the Speedwell and the signing of the Declaration of Independence.”

  “Grandpa!” Freedom exclaimed. “Whose team are you on?”

  Cam’s eyes darted from one side of the room to the other, but he did not seem to find what he was looking for.

  “Whoa, my bedroom ceiling sure doesn’t look like this,” said Tommy, reverently.

  “So where’s our tour guide?” asked Cam, searching the room.

  Freedom tapped my back and whispered, “Hey, Mr. Revere, I think you have a twin.” Her eyes darted to someone over my shoulder.

  “Good day. I couldn’t help but notice your great taste in clothing,” said someone from behind me. I turned to see a man wearing a colonial outfit similar to mine, including a tricornered hat, vest, breeches, stockings, and boots—straight from the 1700s. His name badge said BENJAMEER, U.S. CAPITOL BUILDING TOUR GUIDE. Benjameer smiled and said, “I could not have chosen a better set of breeches myself.” He wore white gloves and turned to us with a bow.

  “Why, thank you, sir,” I said, hesitatingly. I noticed the other tour guides wore red blazers, but Benjameer wore what appeared to be a brown authentic colonial jacket. And he acted as if he were literally from the eighteenth century. We were in a big city, though, and I thought this guy could be a little on the crazy side. Then again, he was wearing a tour guide name badge.

  The man turned to the rest of our group and said, “My name is Benjameer Franklot. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He bowed deeply and said, “I was told that a Mr. Rush Revere would be here at about this time with some well-behaved students.” He eyed all of us carefully.

  “Oh, good, yes, I’m Rush Revere. And these are my history students.”

  “Wonderful,” Benjameer declared. “I’m honored to be your tour guide. Feel free to take pictures but do not under any circumstance touch anything. Does everyone understand?”

  We all nodded.

  Tommy raised his hand.

  “Oh, I see we already have a question. Good, excellent. I’m sure that this Capitol Rotunda has spawned great curiosity. Go ahead, lad, I can tell you are wise beyond your years and have a question that will stimulate all our minds.”

  I shouldn’t have been too surprised when Tommy asked, “Is Benjameer Franklot your real name? It sounds like you could be the evil twin of Benjamin Franklin.”

  Cam let out a stifled laugh.

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

  Our tour guide gave an annoyed smile and replied, “Benjameer Franklot is a perfectly fine name. And, no, I’m not the evil twin of Benjamin Franklin. However, asking questions, as ridiculous as they may be, is your given right as an American citizen.” He sniffed and rolled his neck before exclaiming, “Before we begin, can anyone tell me what the Capitol Building represents?”

  Cam looked at Freedom and back at me. “Does it represent Freedom?” he asked, seemingly unsure of the answer.

  “Yes, young man, it does,” Benjameer said, warming to the group. “The United States Capitol Building is an American symbol of freedom. As you may have learned in your history class, the United States has three branches of government. The Capitol is part of the legislative branch. The laws of the entire country are made right here within the House of Representatives and Senate chambers.”

  Tommy and Cam grinned and looked at each other with a twinkle in their eyes. Freedom looked at them sideways.

  “James Madison told us about all three branches of government and how they came to be in the United States Constitution,” Tommy said.

  Benjameer looked puzzled and uncertain if Tommy was pulling his leg, again. Freedom’s grandfather also looked at us quizzically.

  “Let’s move ahead to Statuary Hall, which is right down this way,” Benjameer said.

  “Hold on a second, Benjameer,” Tommy said, suppressing a laugh. The class clown was coming out in full force now. “We are here on a top-secret mission, and need to get to the bottom of something.”

  “Indeed, I am sure you are,” Benjameer said, dismissively.

  “Really we are,” added Cam. “We need to find a statue of somebody we’ve already met.”

  Benjameer laughed. “Unless you have a time machine in your pocket I highly doubt there is a statue of anyone you have met here,” Benjameer said, turning to go. “The only statues here are . . .” He began to point to statues around the room, naming each statue. “. . . and, of course, George Washington.”

  “Whoa, whoa, wait a second Mr. Franklot,” Tommy said, looking at the Crew, “That’s our man, G Dub.” I looked at him with a sideward glance. Instantly, the Crew went running toward the statue of George Washington, leaving Benjameer in a flutter. He was waving his hands up and down. I smiled sympathetically at him and followed.

  When Freedom’s grandfather and I caught up, I pulled the clue from my pocket and read it out loud to refresh their memory.

  “Easy peasy, I got it!” Cam said, typing the answers.

  Tommy and Freedom did the same, looking up at each other every once in a while to see who was in the lead like swimmers in an Olympic pool.

  My phone beeped three times. Cam’s answer came first—GEORGE WASHINGTON, VIRGINIA.

  Freedom’s grandfather nodded at me and said, “Nothing like a little friendly competition to get the minds working.”

  “The next part of the clue asks what is in his left and right hands,” Tommy said, reading from the old parchment.

  “It’s a sword in his right hand,” Cam replied, “but I’m not sure what he’s leaning on with his left hand. It looks like a tall barrel or something.”

  “That is a symbol of his civilian life,” Benjameer said, having made his way over. “It is a plow, such as one found on his farm at Mount Vernon. The sword in his right hand symbolizes his life in the military and the plow symbolizes his leaving office to go back to civilian life. It represents his love of the country, to retire from office and not become a dictator.”

  Benjameer raised his hand and curled his fingers like an actor onstage.

  “Wow,” Tommy said, “that is pretty cool.”

  The Crew began typing into their phones again—SWORD—PLOW.

  I looked down at my phone and found that Cam again had replied first, if only by a few seconds.

  “Could we now please go to the next section of our tour?” Benjameer asked impatiently. Obediently, we followed him toward Statuary Hall.

  After a short walk we arrived. Inside the hall were beautifully carved bronze and marble statues. Like the Rotunda, the floors sparkled and everything seemed perfectly constructed. Columns rose around us.

  “Statues kind of scare me,” Freedom said, reaching out for her grandfather’s hand. “Seriously, does anyone else feel like they’re being watched?”

  Without stopping, Benjameer spoke loudly over his shoulder. “The statues you see were donated by each of the fift
y states—two per state—to honor the prominent and notable people.” Suddenly, Benjameer stopped at a white marble statue and said, “This is the statue of—”

  “It’s Samuel Adams,” Tommy blurted out, “and it totally looks like him.” The statue’s arms were folded and he looked as stoic and determined as ever. He even looked a little grumpy with one leg off to the side and his coat hanging down beside him. On the base of the statute it read MASSACHUSETTS.

  Tommy continued: “I remember when Samuel Adams showed us the painting of the Boston Massacre. He printed it at Paul Revere’s place and then posted it all over town to try to get all the Patriots pumped up about fighting back against the British troops. That guy was one smart thinker.”

  Benjameer’s mouth was still open. You could tell he was trying to make sense of Tommy’s personal connection with a man who lived more than two hundred years ago.

  Finally, Benjameer said, “Well, technically, yes, that’s true.” He looked at me with a rather confused look. “Um, let’s continue our tour,” he said.

  We walked down the south wing of the Capitol Building and eventually reached the upper level. “Have any of you seen this room before? Perhaps in photos, or during a State of the Union address by the President, or on C-SPAN?” Benjameer asked, motioning his hand from left to right showcasing the room.

  “Um, C-SPAN?” Cam made a funny expression with his face as if to say C-SPAN wasn’t on his favorites list.

  Below we could see brown desks and comfortable armchairs arranged in a semicircle on tiered platforms. A large American flag hung behind the speaker’s podium.

  Benjameer stopped, turned, and straightened his coat. His voice echoed as he said, “The United States Capitol Building is the home of two very important chambers. This is the House of Representatives chamber, which is on the south wing. As you can see by the seats below you, there is enough room for hundreds of representatives from Florida to Alaska. They debate the laws of the land right here.”

  Tommy leaned over and asked, “Wouldn’t Mr. Madison think it was really cool if we went and told him we got to see the two chambers he talked about over dinner? It makes total sense now.”