The Lonely Hearts 06 The Grunt 2

by Latrivia S. Nelson

  “I’d rather stand,” Brett said, stepping inside of the small room. He looked around nervously.

  She had been doing this a long time and picked up on his angst. “Can I get you a cup of water or something, hon?” Stepping in the room with him, she pulled a napkin off the table and handed it to him.

  “Thanks,” he said, taking it.

  “I promise it won’t hurt. It’s just a quick swab on the inside of the cheek,” she explained.

  “It’s going to hurt more than you know,” Brett said, wiping his brow.

  ***

  Courtney wanted to scream. She wanted to pull the car over and just fucking scream until there was no more air left in her body. But instead, she kept her eyes on the road and drove to her mother’s house in silence, trying not to feed off the negative energy that Brett had been given off since he rolled out of bed this morning.

  Turning up the radio a little louder, she cut her eyes at him once and turned down the street to her parent’s house while he sat looking out of the window like he wanted to be anywhere but with her.

  Feeling her millisecond glare, he looked over her way just in time to see her turn her head. “What are we going over here again for?” he asked, turning down the radio.

  “Mom said that we were all having dinner at David’s request. I guess it’s his last one for a while since he’s back at the base.”

  “Lucky him,” Brett said, wishing that he could snatch his boot off. His toes were itching and all that he could do was wiggle them.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Courtney snapped.

  Brett frowned. “It means he’s lucky to be back at work,” he said, clueless to her chaos. What he really wanted to know was why they had to have family night so often? He got that they were tight knit but this was ridiculous. What he really wanted to do was go out and have some real adult time, have a damn beer at a bar and relax without trying to figure out which utensil was the salad fork. But he’d never say that.

  Realizing that one more word might send his wife over the edge, he bit his tongue and turned back toward the window. He didn’t feel like fighting tonight.

  When they pulled into the well-lit driveway, they saw that David had already arrived. Pulling up behind his car, Courtney jerked the gear into park and turned off the engine.

  “What is wrong with you?” Brett asked, wishing that he hadn’t.

  “Nothing,” she said, snatching her keys out of the ignition and jumping out of the car. Slamming the car door, she pushed her purse up on her shoulder and made her way to the door without bothering to help her husband.

  Brett was glad for the small distance between them. She had been bitchy all day, and he didn’t understand why. Had he said something? Was she tired of driving him, because he was damn sick of being escorted everywhere. He had been driving himself around since he was 15 years old and now he was relegated to the passenger seat like a five-year-old.

  As Courtney walked into the house, she saw Cameron on the other end of the hallway. Running to her, he jumped up in her arms. “Hey Mommy,” he said, kissing her cheek.

  She embraced him tightly, smelling bubble gum on his breath. “Hey baby,” she said, feeling a little better at just seeing his face. “Where’s your sister?”

  “Already asleep,” he said, as though that was uncommon for a toddler. He looked passed her to see Brett come in. “Hey Daddy.”

  “Hey little man,” Brett said, closing the door behind him.

  “You got a new shoe!” Cameron shimmied down out of Courtney’s embrace to get a better look at Brett’s walking boot.

  Brett picked him up and kissed his head. “I swear you grew today.”

  “Let me see your boot,” Cameron said, hanging out of his daddy’s arms.

  Brett set him down and showcased it for him. “One step closer to having both of my legs again,” he said as Cameron bent down to touch it.

  Courtney quickly walked off, leaving the two of them alone, she headed to the dining room where everyone had gathered.

  As soon as she hit the corner, she began apologizing. “Sorry we’re late,” she said, setting her purse down by her normal chair.

  “It’s fine,” Jeffery said, eyeing the chicken parmesan only a few inches away from his plate. His stomach growled angrily. “If you had been a little later, we would have started without you.”

  David glanced over at Courtney, a glass of wine in his hand already, and sneered at her. “How do you still show up late when Mom and Dad are watching the kids? I mean, isn’t that your normal reason? What’s your excuse now?”

  Courtney cut her eyes at him like she could strangle him at the dinner table. She was really in no mood tonight. “I’m sorry, your highness. Have you been waiting long?”

  Diane came in through the other door and set down a casserole dish on the table. “He just got here five minutes before you,” she said, hitting David on the back of the head. “Behave, you two.”

  David took another sip of his wine. “I’m just saying, sounds like she needs a new watch.”

  Diane was finally ready to sit down now that she had put the last dish on the table. Smoothing her hands down her skirt, she looked at the table in complete satisfaction and realized that she was missing one person. “Where’s Kelly?”

  David set down his glass and chuckled like a mad man. “I honestly have no idea.”

  The room became silent. That didn’t sound good.

  “What happened?” Diane pried. Taking her seat on the other end of the table, she quickly turned her attention to her son.

  David sat back in his seat and rolled his tongue around the roof of his mouth. “Apparently, she wants to be the Commandant of the Marine Corps and our future kids and the idea of cocktails parties and Marine Officer Wives Clubs will get in her way.”

  Jeffery set down his knife and fork, knowing that the chicken would have to wait just a little longer. “Commandant of the Marine Corps? A woman?” The idea of that was simply preposterous to him.

  “Why is that funny?” Courtney asked, snapping at her father.

  “Why is that an issue?” Diane followed.

  David put up his hand. “We broke up. Okay. We just…broke up.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s not that complicated. We want different things.”

  “How can you want different things? You’re so much alike? Both officers. Both graduated at the top of your class from college and the academy.” Courtney asked flabbergasted. “You make the perfect couple.” This had to be just a little bump in the road. They weren’t really broken up. It couldn’t be.

  David appreciated her naiveté. At least, he wasn’t alone in his. “Well, that’s the problem. We want the same things. Evidently, that was a problem for her.” He felt the pain he had worked all day to push to the back of his mind star to propel forward and drown him all over again.

  Diane’s heart sank into her stomach watching her son go through such heartache. She tried to console him. “Maybe you can work it out.”

  David immediately responded, elevating his voice to the point of strain, “She doesn’t want to work it out,” he said, running his hand over his glass. His voice calmed as he felt his father’s eyes peering at him. “I think that was pretty evident this morning when I asked her to marry me and she said no.”

  Everyone looked surprised. Not only did they not see the breakup, they really didn’t see the proposal.

  Brett reached for the bottle. “Well, better to find out what you both want before you marry.” It was the best advice that he could give considering that Amy was still haunting him with her whore antics from the grave.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Courtney asked.

  “I wasn’t talking about you,” Brett said, pouring a hefty glass. He tried to ignore her growing agitation. “I simply meant that it hurts now, but if she’s already unhappy, she’s not just going to magically become happy after she walks down that aisle.” Brett looked over at David and raised his glass. “At least you
have your work to return to.”

  David tilted his head. Bret had a point. “I am glad to be back, but it’s not the same without you.”

  “Well, hopefully, I’ll be back in a month or two. The doctors are giving me the run around, but trust me before you deploy again, I’ll be back 100 percent. We’re going to give those bastards hell.”

  Courtney frowned. “Are you serious?”

  Brett shrugged. “Yeah, it won’t take that long to heal.”

  “Brett, you are not going back,” Courtney said, unable to hold her tongue. “You almost died over there.”

  “It’s my job, Courtney,” Brett said, trying to keep his cool at her father’s dinner table.

  “You almost died,” Courtney said, voice rising.

  Diane jumped in. “Maybe we should hold off on the fighting until after dessert.”

  “No,” Courtney said, nostrils flared. “Brett,” she said, turning to him. “You cannot go back. We have enough money now to start over, do something else. You can’t just throw it all to the wind and go back there.” Plus, she couldn’t take the idea of him coming back more injured.

  “It’s my life, Courtney. It’s what I chose. I’m a lifer. You can’t just expect me to give it all up in my prime.”

  David’s head popped up. He had heard that before, as a matter of fact, he had heard that this morning, but it was weird seeing it play out. Suddenly, Kelly’s words rang in his head.

  Courtney growled. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you’re not exactly in your prime anymore – not for the Corps.”

  Brett sneered. “Like you would know.” Just because she was a Colonel’s daughter didn’t mean that she got to act like she’d stood a post.

  “I do know,” Courtney said, pointing at his leg. “When are you going to face the music? This is it. The Marine Corps is over.”

  Brett stared at her. “Courtney, what is your problem? You’ve been on me all day.”

  “My problem?” she said incensed, hand to her chest. “You’re the one who’s been distant since you left the doctor’s office. Did they confirm what I’ve been trying to say?”

  “Trying?” Brett laughed. “You’ve been doing a lot more than trying to say that I’m a failure. You’ve been screaming it from the rooftops.”

  Courtney’s mouth popped open. “That’s not true. I’ve never said you were a failure.”

  “Then what are you trying to say?” Brett asked.

  Courtney stood up. “I’m saying that it’s either us or the Corps. You can’t have us both. Not anymore. Not after burying Joe. Not after the four other funerals that you went to over the last couple of weeks. Not after I almost lost you!” She hit the table as images of the closed casket funeral flooded her mind.

  “It’s not fair to ask me to choose,” Brett said, forgetting that he was at her family’s house. He turned his fiery hot gaze on her. “You can’t just snatch this from me. Leo can’t just snatch my son from me. I get a damn say in my life, too!”

  David twisted up his lip. Is this what he had to contend with if he had married Kelly? Would the two of them had this conversation if he had wanted her to quit?

  Courtney had heard enough. “What about us? Do we get a say? Your family? Your children? You selfish son of a bitch. We’ve sacrificed everything for you, and it’s still not enough.” Tears ran down her face. “Everything is about the Marine Corps. Everything is about your career. What about us, the people that you leave every time you go over there? And then we have to fix you back up when you come home, after you’re all broken and twisted?” Looking around the table at her father, her brother and her husband, she threw down her napkin. “You know what? All three of you can kiss my ass!” Running out the room, her footsteps echoed as she ran up the staircase to her old bedroom.

  Jeffery looked down at the table at his wife without expression. “Is she alright?”

  “I don’t know,” Diane said, standing up. “I’ll be back. You all just help yourself to dinner.”

  David looked over the spread. “Tell you the truth, I’m not really hungry,” he said, as Diane left the room. He didn’t want her to hear now that she’d gone through all the trouble, but all the talk about Kelly had ruined his appetite.

  Jeffery picked up the entire dish of chicken. “Good. More for me.”

  Bret stood up, deflated from the conversation. “You wanna get out of here and go get a beer?” he asked David.

  “Yep,” David said, standing up too. He looked at his father. “Dad?”

  “I’m starving,” Jeffery said, getting two rolls before Diane could catch him. “I’ll watch the kids. You two go.” He paused and looked up at them both, pointing his finger. “Just don’t get into any trouble.”

  Chapter 23

  “After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.”

  – Helen Rowland (American Journalist)

  Courtney sat curled up in the window seat of her old bedroom window looking out at the sprinklers water the front lawn while she sobbed quietly in the dark. She was angry with herself, angrier than she had been in a long time. This was not the way things were supposed to go, but the blood had boiled so hot inside of her downstairs until her frustration literally leapt forward from her diaphragm spewing out of her mouth like hot liquid lava.

  And now that she had said what was bothering her, she felt hollow and wished for nothing more than to take it all back.

  To her surprise, just a few minutes earlier, she had watched Brett and David leave together, jumping in her brother’s car and heading down the drive. Going where? She didn’t know, but somehow seeing them pull out onto the street beyond the gate made her feel even more alone and in the wrong.

  The truth of the matter was that they didn’t need distance right now; they needed answers. And she needed to tell him that it was an honest mistake to handle things the way that she had. Although it was not her intention, she had embarrassed him not only in front of their family but also his superior officers. And she was sorry for that. After all, Brett had never embarrassed her in front of her mother or Cameron.

  Wiping her eyes as the light flickered on, she ducked her head when her mother came into the bedroom. Her footsteps were soft as she crossed the hardwood floor.

  Courtney braced herself. Time to face the music. Her mother had always been a stickler about dinner table outbursts. That room was supposed to be their sanctuary away from the world. But from time-to-time someone broke her cardinal rule, and then paid the consequences for it.

  Diane stood in front of Courtney as she looked at the checkered pink cushions. “I thought you could use this,” Diane said, offering a hot towel. She stuck it under Courtney’s face.

  Courtney took it gratefully. “Thanks,” she said, eyes puffy. Wiping her face, she looked at all the makeup that wiped off. God, she must look like a monster right now.

  “You’re welcome.” Diane looked around the room and smiled. “You haven’t been up here since the night you moved out. You remember that?”

  “Yeah. Daddy and I got into another huge fight about Yale.” Courtney remembered like it was yesterday. “I was always disappointing him. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I thought at least if I wasn’t in his house, my failures wouldn’t constantly disappoint him.”

  Diane remembered something quite different, something that Courtney didn’t know, and she’d never bother to tell her until now. “Your father slept in your room that night when you bolted out of here in tears with a bag of clothes and your purse. It was the first time that he had slept anywhere outside of his bed when he was home. Every other bed and sofa in this house gives him back pain. He was waiting for you to come home, so he could apologize. In his normal stubborn way, he was determined to believe that you’d come back after you’d cooled off, and he’d be in here to see you when you did. Evidently, he said a lot of things that he
didn’t mean.” Diane knew her daughter would read between the lines. She clasped her hands together and looked at the crown of her daughter’s head. “People do that sometimes. They love someone so much until when they see them doing something that could hurt them, they explode…overreact.” She nodded. “Sometimes it comes out all wrong even when you mean well and you just want the best for them.”

  Courtney balled the towel up in her hand. “If I had known, I would have come back.” She huffed. “I was stupid.”

  “You weren’t stupid,” Diane said honestly. “You had to do things your way, is all. And no matter how much you loved your father, you had to make your own choices as an adult.”

  “Sounds familiar,” Courtney whispered.

  Diane took a seat beside her and rubbed her back. “Are you going to be alright?”

  “No,” Courtney said, exhaling defeat. She sniffled. “I’m so sorry for what I said down there. Daddy must be furious with me.”

  Diane smirked. “Your daddy has heard worse. He’ll be fine.”

  Courtney wasn’t sure that he had heard worse from her. She cringed at the thought. “I’m falling apart.” It was an obvious admission to guilt, considering everyone had been there to witness her breakdown, but still she said it anyway as a gateway for answers. Her mother had to have answers, because she didn’t.

  Diane shook her head. “It’s not easy. Lord knows that it’s not easy.” It broke her heart to see her daughter experiencing the same pain that she had so many years ago. “This life that we choose…as wives of military personnel…it is a sacrifice.”

  Courtney looked up at her.

  Diane continued to rub her daughter’s back. “I waited for so many years for Jeffery to finally retire. It was on every Christmas list. We had so many conversations just like yours.” Glancing off in the distance, she could hear the echo of her memories in her ears. “But he always went back to his mistress. At times, I swore he loved her more. The Marine Corps.” She removed her hand and buried it in her lap. “So many fights. So many late night conversations that led right back to his duty to his country.”