Silent Song

by Lucilla Andrews

  I held him more tightly. ‘Oh, my darling.’

  ‘Caroline first. She had a red school uniform. I saw the red on the snow and thought it was blood. It wasn’t. Instantaneous. Her neck, back, God knows what else ‒ multiple fractures. Dad ‒ the same. And the six others. All dead. I couldn’t find any more and for a little, I nearly went over the edge. I thought I was dead and in some sort of hell. I had the crazy idea I had to bury them, but I couldn’t shift them. I couldn’t even shift the bits of fuselage off them. Next thing I knew ‒’ he mopped his forehead with the back of a wrist, ‘I was climbing down. I didn’t know or care where I was going. Mentally, I’d stripped down to the basic. I only knew instinctively that to survive I must keep going so I kept going. That’s when I started feeling the cold. My God ‒ I’ve never forgotten that cold.’ He shuddered and shuddered. ‘Had I thought about it, I’d have expected to be numbed. I wasn’t. It was pain ‒ my hands ‒ feet ‒ body ‒ all one pain. Then I heard voices and thought I was delirious ‒ until someone swung a lamp in my face. I’d dropped into the lap of the bloody search party.’

  He breathed now as if he had been climbing and needed to rest until it eased off. Then: ‘They didn’t waste any time trying to make me understand them. They bundled me in a mat and carried me down to what I thought was a mountain bothy. It was the village headman’s home. By then they’d decided I was English and someone got that old Scot out of his bed.’ He raised his head to look at me. ‘Christ, but he was good to me. His anti-exposure therapy would give most physicians a stroke, but ‒ “Just bide there laddie and take this dram. Aye, and another. It’ll do you no harm this night”.’ He smiled very faintly. ‘He was a tough old boy with a mouth like a trap, the eyes of a hard drinker and skinny as hell and he saved more than my life for me. And took great umbrage when I tried to thank him. “Your mother was a Mackenzie,” he said, “and I’ve had many a good fight with and alongside a Mackenzie. Say no more, laddie. Away with you”.’

  ‘God bless him.’

  He nodded. ‘I’d a holiday the next May and went back to see him. The old boy and the village were great. The prodigal son never had it so good. How he got his whisky I never knew; I was only there three days, but it took me a week to sweat out the hangover. I never saw him again as he died in his sleep a few weeks later. My last night, he put away two bottles by midnight, then did some talking. He told me about his childhood, marriage ‒ no kids ‒ and how his wife had gone off with another man during the war. He’d spent most of his war in Greece and been badly wounded in those mountains. It was a time when the partisans had to keep moving, so they had to leave him. The chaps who found me, found him. They took him in, hid him, nursed him, fed him, though all knew they were risking their families’ lives as well as their own by doing so. After the war and coming home to find his wife had moved out, he went back to thank them. He had sold up his house and the half of the business his sister had been running in his absence to her, and with his back pay had quite a bit of money. The one person he was determined shouldn’t have any was his wife, if she ever turned up, as legally they were still married. So after his big welcome back, he asked the headman if he could make the village some gift. “I was aware he’d his pride, laddie,” he told me “so I merely suggested a wee giftie to the womenfolk or the bairns. Maybe a new pump, a roof for the schoolhouse, or school books for the bairns”.’ He paused. ‘Anne, that village is still so poor in comparison the Gorbals are affluent. But he had to withdraw his offer fast as the headman not only took vast umbrage, but was very hurt. The old boy got round it by settling there, and paying the women who looked after his place and cooked for him ‒ and sharing his whisky. He liked them tremendously, and I think they were fond and rather proud of him. He was an educated man and the more stoned he got, the more it came out.’

  ‘That last night, when he was very stoned, he told me what the headman had said to make him quickly withdraw his offer. “These were his words in English,” he said. “No man who is a man, no woman who is a woman, is too poor to give the gift of his charity. Such a gift once given, must never be returned. It must be handed on, from one to another.” And then, Anne, he said ‒ “One day, laddie, in some place at some time, you will meet with some poor body as much in need of help as you and I have been. Aye, and maybe more. You have said you wish to thank me. If you mean that wish, when that day comes, just hand it on. That’ll be enough for me. Just hand it on”.’ At last he began to relax. ‘Just over five months later I met you. I hope I would’ve wanted to help anyone in that spot, but directly I heard what the cops were saying, I could almost hear the old boy’s voice; “Aye, laddie, this is the day.” Inside of twenty-four hours later, I knew what else I was handing on. But why did I choose that village? Don’t ask me, my own lovely, gallant, darling.’ Slowly, he sat up, smoothed his hair, straightened his tie, looked round the room he had known all his life and then back at me as if he had been away years and needed to reassure himself the room and I were actually there. ‘I’m just the guy who had holiday time owing, wanted to get the hell out of it to some place where he wouldn’t have to mix it with tourists as he wanted to sort himself out, picked Spain as he knew the language, and stuck a bloody pin in a map. One morning, for no special reason, he thought he’d paint the empty beach.’ He kissed my hands and held them between his. ‘Can you tell me why the pin hit where it did?’

  I shook my head and we looked at each other in the same way, and same silence for a long time.

  He broke it. ‘All those years I wouldn’t let myself think of you as Anne. Mrs. Dorland. Nothing to do with me. Just a kid I once met in her own private hell who looked too young to be a wife, much less a widow. A beaten-up kid battered to her knees for the second time who’d been too sheltered by good parents and a good hospital to know anything about life as it really is outside of a good safe home and good safe hospital walls. Do you know how long it took you to grow up, Anne?’

  ‘Just ‒ a very long time.’

  ‘Not as long as that. In the first twenty-four hours, you changed from a child to a woman. I know. I watched you. You wouldn’t go to bed that night. I sat with you on the patio, and when your tears ran dry, we talked. The señora was a good soul. She sat up in the microscopic lounge and kept hovering, not just to chaperon, but as she was so upset you had no mother to turn to. She was a simple woman, not much more than a peasant ‒ her husband had more education ‒ but she understood it was better for you to wait for sleep until you were worn out. She kept making us repulsive tea.’

  ‘I remember the terrible tea and that she was kind.’

  ‘Spaniards believe one should show grief, dignity and courage. You showed all three and they admired you very much for it. And by the second day I’d started loving you and daren’t face the time when I would have to let you go.’

  ‘I never knew. I never knew.’

  ‘My darling, you didn’t even know I was a man. Just a pair of ears ‒ an interpreter.’

  ‘Not just that, George.’ I freed one hand to caress his face. ‘ “As the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.” I’ve always remembered that and even when I wanted to forget you, sort of knew ‒ somewhere ‒ you were there. Do you know what I mean?’

  He had flushed. ‘Oh, yes. When I was trying not to think of you, I knew ‒ somewhere ‒ you were there. In a way, it was like that yesterday. I didn’t let myself think of you in the gallery, or even risk looking up, till it was over. But I knew you were there. In a different way, I get the same kind of reaction when I’m operating. Once we start, never, ever, do I let myself think ‒ this in my hands is a human heart ‒ this is my hand in that human heart ‒ I sweat over that one before, and after. During the op I can’t let myself think that way. Maybe others can. I can’t and won’t risk it. Yet always I know exactly what I’m handling ‒ just as I knew and have always known, exactly what I handed on to you.’

  His smile was a little sad and very sweet. ‘Thank God, my love,’ he said simply, �
��we met.’

  Also by Lucilla Andrews

  If you enjoyed Silent Song, you will also want to read these other stories by Lucilla Andrews.

  The Print Petticoat

  A moving story of heartache and hope in the Maternity Unit of a busy 1950s teaching hospital.

  Joanna Anthony is a dedicated Nursery staff nurse at St Gregory’s Hospital. The nurses and doctors share laughter and tears as they tend to the mothers and babies in their care.

  There is time for romance, too. After five years together, is ambitious Dr Richard Everley finally ready to settle down with Joanna? And what of the two other young doctors who have more than a professional interest in her?

  It takes a serious illness for Joanna to understand where, and with whom, her future really lies.

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  The Secret Armour

  There’s romance for Nurse Maggie on the wards of a 1950s teaching hospital. But is she in love with the wrong man?

  Nineteen-year-old nurse Maggie Howard is completing her training at St Benedict’s Hospital. Life on the ward is hard and the Sisters are strict, but Maggie and her set mates, Alice and Rose, love their work. That’s not all that Maggie loves, when against all advice she falls for a dashing patient, David Corford.

  Maggie will experience happiness, heartache and misunderstandings. And throughout the emotional ups and downs, young houseman George Hartigan is always there to provide a shoulder to cry on.

  Will Maggie risk her career and future happiness over her love for a handsome patient?

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  The Quiet Wards

  Young nurse Gillian Snow is blamed when a dangerous drug goes missing during her shift on the ward of a 1950s teaching hospital. But who took it?

  Twenty-one-year-old Nurse Gillian Snow finds her career in jeopardy when a dangerous drug disappears from the drug cupboard under her care. The situation also affects her romance with dashing house-surgeon Peter Kier.

  Moved from her ward to do other duties, Gillian experiences the happiness and heartache that comes from nursing both children and accident victims.

  As she struggles to understand who took the drug, and why, Gillian finds support and truth from some unexpected quarters.

  Read The Quiet Wards from Amazon UK

  Read The Quiet Wards from Amazon.com

  Read The Quiet Wards from Amazon AUS

  The First Year

  Rose Standing has a lot to learn about hospital life, patients ‒ and romance, during her first year as a probationer nurse at St Martin’s Hospital in 1950s London.

  Twenty-year-old Rose has a reputation for being accident-prone and absent-minded. Does she really have what it takes to make a good nurse?

  The biggest question on Rose’s mind is whether the Senior Surgical Officer, Jake Waring, will even notice her existence. Are her daydreams about a romance between them destined to remain a fantasy?

  Rose discovers that each department has its own heartaches and joys as she gains experience on the men’s surgical, women’s medical, and Casualty wards.

  Meanwhile, handsome student doctor Bill Martin shows a keen interest in Rose. But she has her suspicions about his motives.

  A moving and heart-warming story of a young nurse, and the challenges she faces on the hospital wards and in her personal life.

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  A Hospital Summer

  In the summer of 1940, Clare Dillon is a V.A.D. in an English military hospital, nursing the wounded as the bombs fall.

  Twenty-year-old Clare must rise to the challenge of nursing in wartime. Whether giving comfort to a dying soldier, or assisting in a birth during an air raid, she has to remain clear-headed and professional.

  Clare is not only dealing with problems at the hospital. She is also worried for the safety of her brothers, who are both in the forces. Then the Dunkirk evacuation changes her world forever.

  With the medical emergencies and bombings, it’s no wonder Clare doesn’t have time to think about the attention she’s getting from young medical officer Joe Slaney. But she surprises herself when news about Joe makes her face up to what she really wants for the future.

  A gripping, bittersweet story about the courage and determination of young V.A.D. nurses in the Second World War.

  Read A Hospital Summer from Amazon UK

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  My Friend the Professor

  Young probationer nurse, Frances Dorland, is dealing with the ups and downs of 1960s hospital life when she meets an understanding older man ‒ the Professor.

  Frances’s nursing friends joke about the identity of the Professor, but the truth is that none of them know anything about him, except that he proves to be a loyal and kind friend to Frances.

  As Frances starts to realise she feels more than friendship for the Professor, she is also trying to help the course of true love run smoothly for her best friend Estelle Dexter. And handsome student doctor Bart More is sending mixed signals to both young women.

  It is only when one of the hospital staff becomes dangerously ill that Frances and her friends come to realise home truths that will change their lives forever.

  Read My Friend the Professor from Amazon UK

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  Discover all of the available novels by Lucilla Andrews, and be the first to know when the next ebook is released, by going to www.lucillaandrews.com

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  A Nurse’s Life by Jane Grant

  Heart-warming and humorous tales from a 1950s student nurse

  In this warm and witty book, Jane Grant recounts her life as a trainee nurse in a busy 1950s London teaching hospital.

  Jane, and her friends Mary and Phyllis, discover that both happiness and heartache can be found on the wards of St. Bernard’s Hospital. Before long they realise it takes determination and a sense of humour to deal with the colourful characters of hospital life – and that goes for the staff as well as the patients.

  The young nurses gain their medical training under the watchful eyes of strict, but generally fair, sisters and matrons. They meet patients who are facing the biggest challenges of their lives, and share with them moments of bravery and fear. There are times of laughter, but also of tears.

  There is romance too, as Jane and her fellow student nurses enjoy the attentions of the hospital’s handsome young doctors, falling in and out of love for the first time.

  A Nurse’s Life is a moving and amusing account of a bygone era, brought vividly to life. Also available in this series, there is more from Jane and her friends and family in More From a Nurse’s Life, A Sister’s Life and A Country Life.

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  Doctors and Nurses: 3-in-1 box set by Sheila Burns

  Three medical romances from the 1960s in one box set. Romance and drama in medical settings.

  Doctor Called David ‒ Can Valerie escape her past, or is history destined to repeat itself?

  1966. After nurse
Valerie Scott is found innocent of a terrible crime and released from jail, she turns to prison doctor David Graves for support. The offer of a new position as a private nurse to a kind and elderly couple seems the ideal chance to rebuild her life. But are the Goddards and their adopted son Gregory all that they seem? And can a doctor called David protect Valerie from a cruel twist of fate?

  Dr Irresistible M.D. ‒ Sharon wins a beauty competition but can she win a handsome stranger’s heart?

  1962. Sharon’s life takes an unexpected turn when she wins a beauty competition. Then she crashes the prize car of her dreams, and is rescued by a mysterious, good-looking man. He is Glynn Rodwell ‒ Dr Irresistible. The chance of a Mediterranean cruise offers Sharon excitement and opportunity ‒ but if she takes it, will she ever see Dr Irresistible again?

  The Eyes of Doctor Karl ‒ Will Cherrie discover the truth behind the hypnotic eyes of a handsome doctor?

  1962. While sitting in a traffic jam, Cherrie locks eyes with a dark and handsome man. That evening she reads about the strange case of Dr Karl Heineman whose patients have died in mysterious circumstances. Cherrie accompanies a newspaper reporter friend who is investigating the story. When they call on the doctor, she is surprised to find he is the man whose eyes she hasn’t been able to forget. As Cherrie is drawn closer into his world, will she discover the truth, and love, behind the eyes of Dr Karl?