Wizards

by Booth, John

  Not surprisingly, I wasn't the most popular wizard in this particular place, even though I had returned and rescued the imprisoned people. The locals took the view I should have been more careful in whom I entrusted powerful magic objects. I have to admit they might have a point.

  Princess Esmeralda told me this ceremony would be taking place in two weeks when I left Salice to return to Earth. Esmeralda and I met in the town when I first visited. I still carry a fading bruise on my face from where she slapped me.

  Given this was always a big celebration in Salice and would be even bigger this year since everybody was glad to be free, I figured I should come and join in. This had nothing to do with the fact that Jenny wasn't currently speaking to me, of course.

  It had been two days since I introduced Fluffy to Jenny. They bonded on the spot in a way I still found disconcerting. The upshot was she demanded to know exactly how to find and get into the Bat Cave. I refused because she'd already exposed Fluffy to danger and that was within minutes of meeting him.

  We had an argument and she refused to wear the blindfold she wore when I took her to the cave. That was the moment I discovered I can cast sleeping spells. It was when she woke up a short time later by our bicycles that she decided she was never going to speak to me again.

  Which is why I was in Salice. I'm used to living a solitary existence, but when Fluffy turned his back on me in the Bat Cave I knew I had to get away from Earth and Salice was the only place I knew on another world about to have a party.

  The party in question looked pretty spectacular. The streets were filled with stalls and decked out with streamers and garlands of every size and color. It really was a street party among friends, people moved from being customers for beer and wine to serving the suckling pig and roast beef. Children ran with wild abandon and barely a minute went by without fireworks bursting across the night sky.

  I watched the reconfirmation without getting anywhere near to the stage. Pretty well everybody on that stage could recognize me if I got too close. The king and queen met me after the counter-revolution. Apparently, the king had once been a portly man, but he didn't have an ounce of fat on him when I was introduced. Spending your time chained up in a dank dungeon will do that for a man, though I'm certain he wouldn't thank me for his weight loss.

  The Queen was as thin as her daughter and I backed away from her when we met. I'd already suffered at the hands of her daughter, and it was instantly clear to me I hadn't been forgiven by this woman for my stupidity. I knew that the wise-man killed half a dozen of her friends, so I suppose she might have a point.

  The Bishop and the senior officials on stage had also met me. At least one of them demanded my death until Esmeralda pointed out the danger of attacking a powerful wizard. That was nice of her, because she was well aware that though I certainly was a powerful wizard, I still had no idea how to use my powers. She taught me more spells in one brief period than I had learnt in ten years. The king's library in Salice was full of wizard lore and Esmeralda had always been interested in the theory behind magic.

  I supposed that since my discovery of how to make people fall asleep I could use the power to sneak into the library and steal some of their books. I'm not so pure it hadn't occurred to me, but having done so much damage to these poor people's lives I found I couldn't steal from them. I might be an idiot, but I'm not a bastard.

  I was lost in gloomy thoughts when the palace was lit up in bright white light. The King's Palace in Salice is one of those picture book places, like something out of a Disney cartoon. It looked lovely glowing in the dark and I began to clap my hands in appreciation.

  "Stop clapping, stranger," a man said in worried tone of voice, "This is none of our doing."

  "The evil wizard must have returned," a voice in the crowd opined. "The King should have killed him when he had the chance."

  "Perhaps he's only come back to join in the celebration," another voice suggested. "The palace looks lovely lit up like that."

  Somewhere from the direction of the palace, a woman screamed. It was the most bloodcurdling sound I've ever heard.

  A few men started to move towards the palace and then noticed nobody was following them. They stopped, obviously torn between the desire to go to the rescue and the risk of meeting whatever caused the woman to scream.

  "I can't go back to being imprisoned again," a man said plaintively from behind me. "My wife died in there."

  The crowd stood, unable to decide on a course of action. The silence continued for about five minutes. I wanted to go to the palace, but the last thing I wanted to do at that moment was draw attention to myself. These people could easily turn into a lynch mob if they discovered who I was.

  Then there came the sound of running feet heading in our direction. A very fat man in an imposing costume came running round a corner from the direction of the palace.

  "It's the king's treasurer!" someone in the crowd shouted and the crowd held its collective breath until he reached us. The man doubled over, completely out of breath and someone brought him a drink. He drank it down and then spent another thirty seconds coughing and spluttering.

  "Wizard," he managed to get out at last.

  "He's come back, the Bad Luck Wizard," somebody said with a moan. I felt offended by that because it was clear I must be the Bad Luck Wizard.

  The fat man shook his head violently and waved his hand in negation. He was still having trouble getting his breath. Wherever he spent the last few years it wasn't out working in the fields.

  "No, another one. You know, I worked for the Master, looking after the kingdom's money while King Petre was imprisoned. I had no choice in the matter, you understand?"

  He seemed to be looking for some kind of forgiveness from the crowd but they stared at him blankly. When he realized they weren't going to thank him for looking after the kingdom's money for them, he resumed his story.

  "A wizard came to visit the Master about a year ago. Not the one who gave him the stones but another one seeking somewhere to make his own. He stayed with the Master for about a month before deciding he would continue with his travels. I think those stones he had in his pocket protected the Master from the wizard, because while the two of them seemed amicable enough, I know the Master was relieved to see him go."

  "In any case, this wizard is back and is demanding we tell him where the Master is. He turned King Petre into a statue when he refused to tell him. The scream was Queen Janti crying out when she saw it happen."

  "How did you get away?" someone asked.

  "He's sent the courtiers out into the town to spread the word. Unless the Master is returned to the Palace within the hour, he will turn the Queen and Princess Esmeralda into statues as well."

  "But the Master is gone with the Bad Luck Wizard and in some other world," someone pointed out.

  The fat man shrugged. "I felt safer in the town than in the palace."

  "I'll have to go to the palace," I said and started to walk towards it

  "Stop stranger!" a commanding voice shouted. "Who are you?"

  "I'm the Bad Luck Wizard," I said. "And it looks like this is my fault again."

  I carried on walking. I'd like to tell you the people of Salice fell in behind me and we marched to the palace as an army. I'd like to tell you, but that's not what happened. Not one of them joined me as I began the lonely trek across the bridge and up the hill to the King's Palace.

  As I passed through the majestic gold-plated wrought iron gates of the palace the bright light around it faded away. I presumed the wizard had lost interest in it. While magic requires little effort to maintain once established, it still took some power from the wizard. I never even noticed the drain the Master's lucky stones took from me, but it had undoubtedly been there.

  Now that I knew a little of how magic worked I was being much more careful about how I used my magic. However, I had taken the trouble to use a special locking technique Esmeralda taught me to permanently seal the Master in his cage. E
ven if I died, he would remain trapped inside the pot.

  The other wizard must know enough about magic not to waste his power. Having made his point by lighting up the palace he had recovered the magical energy he used to do it.

  The grand carved doorway of the palace led to a foyer where two enormous curved staircases on either side led up to the upper floor. In line with the grand doorway was another set of double doors that led into the Royal Ballroom. Those doors were wide open and the ballroom was packed with people in fancy clothing milling around uneasily.

  The people in the ballroom were not making any attempt to dance. They were staring towards the far end of the room where I knew there was a stage. That was where the royal family and nobility would be sitting on their thrones and fancy chairs.

  I knew the layout of the ballroom from my previous visit. This was a fortunate thing, because with all the people standing on the dance floor I couldn't see anything beyond them.

  I took off my duffle coat and threw it behind one of the large doors. I wasn't exactly dressed for a formal occasion in my faded jeans and grey pullover, but my clothes would have to do. I walked into the room and stepped into the crowd.

  The people had packed tight at this end of the room, and I discovered there was a considerable amount of open space in front of the stage. As I walked through the crowd, I touched people's backs lightly and wished their clothing to be lucky. It might not be much in the way of magical protection, but it might well save some of them if it came to a fight.

  I zigzagged through the hall touching as many people as I could. It took some time before I found myself at the front of the crowd. I stopped to take in what was going on.

  The Royal Ballroom was impressive. Its domed ceiling was thirty feet or more above us and the walls and ceiling were covered in bright murals. Gold leaf covered the ornate pillars between the paintings with embossed royal purple wallpaper above and below them. The ceiling of the room showed the gods cavorting in their celestial palaces.

  Frankly, some of the scenes on the ceiling would have been regarded as pornography back home in Wales. In Salice, they were regarded as high art and educational in nature. I can't say they showed me anything I hadn't already seen on the internet, but I must admit the depictions of the male gods did give me a bit of an inferiority complex. I mean, those guys would have needed very roomy trousers.

  The stage was crowded with men in colorful clothes and women in lacy ballroom dresses that reminded me a lot of wedding dresses. Almost all of them were dressed in white, except for Esmeralda who was dressed in a fetching dark blue. Her dress designer had managed to enhance and lift her breasts in a most delightful way.

  There were two thrones in the center of the stage. A few feet in front of one the thrones stood a statue of a man on his knees. It took me a few seconds to recognize the statue as the king. He looked so different in polished white marble from his usual self.

  A group of courtiers to the left of the thrones was comforting Esmeralda's mother, Queen Janti. One of the thrones was empty while the other was occupied by a man in his mid-twenties. He was a little difficult to focus on as he wore clothes coated in gold and a bright light shone down on him from above. It was almost as if he stood in a solid cylinder of light. The light had no obvious source, but it made his clothes shine.

  This must be the wizard. He lolled on the king's throne, seemingly not taking the slightest interest in what was going on around him.

  Princess Esmeralda noticed me. A thoughtful look came over her face and she looked quickly away. It took me a moment to realize she was trying to avoid the wizard noticing her interest in me. She walked along the stage and began a whispered conversation with a man wearing an enormous handlebar moustache. Whatever she said to him resulted in him turning away from the stage. Esmeralda moved back across the stage, inching ever closer to where I stood.

  I didn't see the arrow that shot towards the wizard, though I did hear it as it whipped through the air. What I did see was it stop abruptly when it reached the cylinder of light, hanging in the air a mere inch into the light. You could see from its position it had been aimed at the wizard's heart.

  The wizard stood up and put his eye close to the arrow tip and stared along its length. On the other side of the ballroom, people began to move away from a man clasping a crossbow and looking worried. I didn't blame him in the slightest.

  I wondered if I had touched this man and if I had, whether it would do him any good. The wizard laughed and jumped from the stage, the arrow flying backwards in the air keeping pace with him.

  As soon as the wizard left the stage, Esmeralda ran towards me, pausing only to run a hand over her father's stone hair. She sat on the stage and slid down from it without making a sound.

  The wizard, meanwhile, was walking slowly towards the man with the crossbow, the arrow moving in front of him. The archer dropped his crossbow, which clattered loudly on the wooden floor. You could have heard a pin drop, it had become so quiet, and everybody flinched at the noise, including me.

  Esmeralda took my right hand and slipped a large ring onto my index finger. The ring was made of solid gold and had a large red stone embedded in it.

  "It's a wizard's ring," she whispered in my ear. "It can shoot fire at anyone you aim it at."

  I gave the princess a quick hug and stepped towards the wizard. I felt much more confident with a ring on my finger and I wanted to stop the wizard from killing the archer.

  "Excuse me!" I said, much more loudly than I intended. Every eye in the room except the wizard turned to focus on me. He continued to stare at the archer. The archer's arrow was poised in the air only inches from his heart. It had reversed itself while I had been busy with Esmeralda, and its point was poised to plunge into the man.

  "I believe your fight is with me."

  The wizard turned slowly and contemptuously towards me.

  "And who exactly are you?"

  "I'm the man who overthrew the Master."

  "The boy wizard?" he asked in disbelief.

  "The Bad Luck Wizard," I said. "I think it's time you experienced some of it."

  The wizard glared at me and snapped his fingers. I recoiled, my hands raised defensively, and I heard a solid thunking sound. Behind the wizard, the unfortunate archer stared at the arrow, which now stuck into him, and fell to the ground.

  "That wasn't very nice," I said, somewhat inanely. How do the superheroes in comic books manage to come up with all those good lines?

  "What are you going to do about it, boy wizard? Good luck stone me to death?"

  "If you don't undo the spell on the king and leave right now I shall burn you to death with this magic ring," I said. I made a fist with my right hand and pointed it straight at him.

  I had anticipated a number of possible reactions, ranging from fear to contempt, but I must admit that raucous laughter hadn't been anywhere on my list. Maybe I can get him to laugh himself to death, I pondered as he came close to doubling up in amusement.

  After a few more moments of laughter, he managed to regain some control and straightened up to face me again.

  "Do your worst then, boy. I challenge you."

  "I'm not bluffing," I warned.

  "There's no such thing as a fire shooting magic ring," he said with a smirk on his face.

  If there is one thing I can't stand, its people telling me I'm wrong. I felt anger building in me like a tsunami. I could almost see the tide vanishing beneath my feet as my rage backed up far behind me, ready to blow. The supercilious smirk on his face added to it.

  "Do it, Jake," Esmeralda urged from behind me. "Don't let him treat you like a fool."

  That did it. I was expecting his cylinder of light to protect him anyway and the rage I felt was making my vision red.

  A stream of pure red fire shot from the stone on the ring and splattered across the cylinder of light. The crowd had wisely moved out of the immediate vicinity as soon as I mentioned the ring’s flame-throwing potential, thus avoidi
ng the gobs of fire dripping from the cylinder onto the floor.

  I continued aiming at the wizard's chest but risked a glance at his face. I expected to see contempt, but what I actually saw was fear. His shield was weakening and though it was still protecting him, smoke began rising from his clothing and then from his hair. He gave out a pained scream and vanished.

  The cylinder of light vanished with the wizard and my beam of fire shot across the rest of the room to hit one of the paintings on the far wall. I cut the beam off and was amused to see residual flames rising from the breasts of the woman in the painting. She had been fairly hot stuff before, but now she was really cooking.

  A quick thinking courtier used his cloak to douse the flames before they took hold.

  "You must restore my father," Esmeralda said in the commanding voice she was so good at.

  "I don't have a clue how to do it," I confessed.

  "Take his hand and wish him restored. That's how wizards do it," she told me urgently.

  I shrugged and did as I was told. It didn't work at first.

  "Try harder," Esmeralda ordered impatiently.

  I felt sweat build on my brow as I touched her father's stone hand and wished him human again. I was about to give up in despair when I felt his hand warm in mine. I cannot explain what I did then, but it wasn't the same as wishing. It was more like rebuilding the man and his clothing until they were whole.

  "Very kind of you, my boy," King Petra said mildly, "But if we keep on holding hands like this, people will begin to talk."

  Esmeralda and her mother ran over to the king and hugged him. I stood back and smiled at their happiness.

  There was a tap on my shoulder and I turned to stare into the face of the archer. He was holding a wad of cloth over his heart, which was soaked with blood.