Holly Farb and the Princess of the Galaxy

by Gareth Wronski

  “What was it?”

  Holly hesitated. Her eyes fell to the glistening floor. “It was ‘Vote for Holly Farb. She’s Farbulous.’ ” She looked up. “See, it’s a funny play on words. . . .”

  Jalya beamed. “That is brilliant.”

  Holly felt like her whole body was blushing.

  They entered a cavernous area and Holly gasped. Pale webs spread around the room like ancient, dusty drapes. A putrid smell of rotten meat wafted around them. Faintly glowing goo covered the walls and dripped down from the ceiling. Holly’s foot caught something and she stumbled forward. When she looked back, she gasped again.

  It was an egg. Big and green, flecked with glowing splotches of white, it was lodged into the slimy floor.

  The urge to run flooded through Holly, but she swallowed it down. “What is this place?” she said, her voice small and distant.

  Jalya craned her neck and stared up at the ceiling. “I think . . . this is where the libr—the book-knowers live. It’s a nest.”

  Holly, who had always hated spiders, bugs, insects, and even lobsters—which in her mind were simply big ocean spiders—felt like she was going to be sick. Her heart pounded in her ears. The dark, web-covered room was the last place she wanted to be. She squinted but couldn’t see far in the dim light. Anything could be out there, she thought, glancing over her shoulder. There could be huge creepy-crawler librarians watching them right now, crawling toward them, arms outstretched, big bug eyes . . . bugging. . . .

  She was beginning to have second thoughts about this whole not-going-back-to-Earth-right-away thing.

  “I wish we had a flashlight,” whispered Holly.

  “Any light would be lovely,” said Jalya.

  AsTRO beeped. “Fact: I am equipped with a light source.” Its glowing face emitted a beam of soft light. It wasn’t much, but it was better than the faint glow of the bug goo.

  “Brilliant,” said Holly. She and Jalya hoisted the heavy robot off the slimy ground and carried it like a big, two-person flashlight. Goo dripped off its metal feet. Straining under the weight, they navigated the slippery floor into the heart of the librarians’ nest. Thick white threads glistened all around them, forming nightmarish webs in tangled patterns. Holly’s arms burned with pain—she had never held something so heavy for so long.

  Together they tilted AsTRO back so that the beam illuminated the ceiling. Holly’s mouth fell open. She wanted to scream but no sound came out. Hanging from the ceiling were dozens of aliens, all suspended in gooey pods that looked like translucent cocoons.

  “Oh no,” whispered Jalya.

  “Who are they?” said Holly. But she suspected she knew what the answer was. For once in her life, though, she hoped she was wrong. She really hoped she was wrong.

  Jalya lowered her head. “Food.”

  At that moment, Holly hated being right. It was a new feeling.

  Something nearby scuttled across the floor and Holly whirled around, nearly dropping AsTRO. But there was nothing there, only emptiness and silence. Her stomach tightened. They continued along the slimy ground through a tunnel of webs, turned a corner, and found an alien that resembled the librarians from upstairs. It was plucking books out of a cart, scurrying across the room, and putting them in another.

  Holly and Jalya crouched behind a big egg on the floor. A foul smell slithered out of it, making Holly’s eyes water. They peered over it at the alien.

  “What do we do?” whispered Holly.

  Jalya bit her lip. “Perhaps we could sneak over there and steal the book.”

  “I don’t think that’s possible.” Holly looked around. The alien kept scurrying from shelf to shelf, moving books like it was some sort of ritual. “Maybe we could—”

  “Help me. . . .”

  Holly and Jalya flinched and gasped. They turned. There was a thin alien stuck in goo on the floor. Its body was rigid and its face gaunt, with four sad eyes fixed on them. It opened its mouth but said nothing, its head bowing like it had no energy to speak.

  “Are you all right?” whispered Holly, instantly feeling dumb. Of course it wasn’t all right.

  “I . . . ,” said the alien, its voice raspy. “I can help you. If you help me.”

  Jalya scooted closer. “How can we help?”

  The alien shuddered. “I am trapped in here. But you can get me out. If you free me, I will help you defeat the bugs. You will not get out otherwise. I am your only hope. I have been here for months. The bugs did something to me. I am in constant pain.” It grimaced. “My entire life is pain. Please, you must help me. Free me and I will help you defeat the bugs. I am your only hope. I know what we must do. Please. Gather close and listen. First you must—”

  A small bug burst out of the alien’s chest and its head lolled forward. The little bug scurried across the floor, leaving a trail of tiny red footprints. Holly screamed and Jalya threw her hand over Holly’s mouth.

  The librarian whirled around. Its many eyes focused on Holly and Jalya and AsTRO. It blinked and spread its wings out wide like a huge fan.

  “Good job,” muttered Jalya.

  “Sorry.”

  “What are you doing down here?” the librarian hissed.

  Holly hoped Jalya wasn’t mad. She wanted to make it up to her. She wanted to prove she was smart. Inhaling a deep breath, Holly forced down her fear and tried to smile. She exhaled and faced the huge, disgusting bug. “We need . . . assistance.”

  The librarian’s eyes darted back and forth, like its brain was processing a dilemma, choosing between two options: kill the intruders, or assist with their needs. Finally it said, “How . . . may we . . . help you?”

  “We’re looking for a book,” said Holly, confidence surging. “An important book. Arkanian Warfare Strategies. Identification number, uh . . .”

  “Fact: 3424864988888-BTY-453-CV.”

  Holly nodded. “What AsTRO said.”

  The librarian’s wings coiled. “We . . . can’t . . . but . . . you . . .” Its eyes bulged and its wings fluttered. It twitched and shivered. “It’s right here!” The librarian snatched a small red book off the shelf and threw it on the floor like it was a grenade. “Take it!” The bug sucked in a deep breath, its chest heaving.

  Holly grabbed the book off the ground. Gobs of slime dripped from it. “Thanks for assisting us,” she said, wiping it on her shirt. She had proved she was smart. Jalya would certainly like her now. Feeling confident, she smiled at Jalya and said, “Good thing they have to help us, huh? Now let’s get back to the I.G.C. . . . G.C. . . . B. You know what I mean. Let’s go!”

  The alien froze. Its head tilted up, eyes narrowing. Suddenly Holly felt like this had gone horribly wrong. Her stomach twisted. The librarian’s pincers opened like it was grinning. “We are forced to help you,” it said, “but only one of us is forced to help.”

  Holly stepped backward. She glanced at Jalya. “Only . . . one?”

  “What did you do?” said Jalya.

  The alien hissed. “We are the Hive. We serve the Master. The Master brings us food and we do Her bidding. The Master does not allow rule breakers. They must be food. You cannot leave with reference material that is on reserve. The Master will not allow it. The Master will not allow it.”

  Above them, something shrieked. An earsplitting wail echoed around the chamber.

  Jalya was staring up at the ceiling, her mouth agape. Holly’s eyes trailed up the slimy walls to where she was looking, dreading what she would find. Her stomach dropped.

  Dozens of voices hissed, “You called us?” Librarians streamed into the room, crawling through a hole in the ceiling and skittering down the wall.

  “We need to leave,” muttered Jalya. “We need to leave. . . .”

  “Run!” shouted Holly.

  Holly tucked Arkanian Warfare Strategies under her arm and they grabbed AsTRO and staggered back through the nest, their feet slipping and sliding along the slimy floor. The librarians scuttled after them, shrieking and hissing. Hol
ly didn’t want to look back—she didn’t want to see their horrible bug faces. She didn’t want to imagine what they would do to her if they were caught.

  They raced through the corridor. The tube was just ahead. They threw AsTRO inside and Jalya jumped in after it. Both of them were sucked up. The librarians were almost there. Holly leaped inside and a rush of cold wind hauled her up through the tube. Glancing back, she caught one last glimpse of a bug, struggling to fit into the tube, its eyes bulging, its glistening mouth open and shrieking, one spindly, clawed hand reaching for her.

  Holly tumbled out of the tube onto a carpeted floor. Her palms seared with pain. She and Jalya and AsTRO stopped running and tried to casually stroll through the lobby so no one would notice them. But then something wailed and shattered through the floor and they ran. More huge insects swarmed out of the stacks and rumbled after them, knocking over shelves and sending books flying.

  Holly, Jalya, and AsTRO burst through the front door, where they found a befuddled-looking Mr. Mendez, still helping the student. “Well, you see, the thing about parallel dimensions is that . . .” He saw the librarians and his mouth fell open.

  “Great galaxies,” he muttered.

  “Run!” said Holly, grabbing his arm.

  The four of them darted to the Gadabout, the bugs on their heels. Toshiro glanced up, dropping his burrito onto a pile of burrito wrappers. “Okay, so maybe archives aren’t completely boring,” he muttered. He whipped out his pistol. “Finally, some action.”

  They all ran into the ship and Holly grabbed on to Toshiro, pulling him away from the action. They were barely inside before the ship shuddered and blasted off. Holly panted, gasping for air.

  Toshiro grumbled something and marched to the console. Friday was furiously typing air at her desk.

  Through the window Holly could see the librarians circling angrily far below. She and Jalya looked at each other, and a moment later, started laughing.

  “I can’t believe we made it,” said Holly, grinning and holding up Arkanian Warfare Strategies.

  Jalya beamed. “That was Farbulous!”

  Holly’s cheeks burned. But before she could even respond, the ship jolted, and she felt lighter. Strands of her hair began floating up. Toshiro’s half-eaten burrito rose off the floor.

  “Is something wrong with the artificial gravity again?” said Jalya.

  “No,” said Toshiro, taking his hands off the controls and leaning back in his chair. “We’re in a tractor beam. We’re bein’ pulled into another ship.”

  “Whose ship?” said Holly, her hair now standing straight up.

  Toshiro placed his hat on his head, unholstered his gun, and stood up. “Take a guess.”

  12

  THE PIRATES UNION/THE PIRATES GUILD

  On the engineering deck of the Kraven, a big, muscular pirate hauled a piece of metal along, bringing it to the ship’s central furnace and throwing it inside. The temperature swelled. The machine clattered. The pirate’s red eyes watched as the metal bent and bubbled and melted. Liquid metal flowed out the side of the furnace, running through a trough and entering an elaborate mold. Another pirate dumped cold water over the metal, and it hissed and threw up steam.

  The first pirate wiped her forehead, leaving a smear of ash. “Do you think we’re working hard enough to please the Pirate Lord?” she said, picking up another piece of metal and chucking it in the furnace.

  The other worker yanked the metal frame out from the mold and put it in a stack with the others. “I don’t know,” she said. “Probably. It’s not my fault they lost a ship in a volcano.”

  The first pirate spat on the ground and the heat turned it to steam. “Yar. The Pirate Lord has given us this important task and we must not fail. Failure is not science.”

  “Uh,” said the second pirate. “Are you feeling all right?”

  The other nodded enthusiastically. “It is a glorious world to serve the Pirate Lord.”

  “Look, Shaklep, we need to talk. What is up with you? We threw in with these pirates to earn some loot and open a kumplewot bistro, but ever since you went to the Forge, all you talk about is the Pirate Lord. Did you fall down some stairs or something?”

  The first pirate pumped her fist. “Hurrah for our Pirate Lord!”

  “Hurrah indeed, my friends,” came a frosty voice from down the factory. “I have a new task for you. A most important task.”

  The two pirate workers turned. Standing in the doorway, silhouetted by a bright light behind him, was the large, hunched figure of the wheezing Pirate Lord. The second pirate squinted to get a better look at him. She knew very few had seen him in person—and even fewer had lived to tell about it.

  According to pirate gossip, if you met the Pirate Lord, you were about to end up in a grave, or end up in the Forge. And it wasn’t clear which option was worse.

  “Your Lordship,” she said nervously, bowing low.

  “The Pirate Lord,” whispered the first pirate.

  “Friends,” said the Pirate Lord, “the day you’ve been waiting for is finally here. It has come to my attention that the Princess of the Galaxy and her merry band of morons have been picked up by our tractor beam. They are currently in the loading zone. Whoever brings me the Princess shall receive . . . praise.”

  The first pirate looked up. “Praise?”

  “Yes,” said the Pirate Lord. “All the praise. Now go get her. I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if you fail.”

  The first pirate bowed and rushed down the factory floor, then disappeared through the heavy metal doors. The second pirate hesitated, but glanced at the Pirate Lord and, deciding it would be a bad idea to displease him, chased after her companion.

  The Pirate Lord stood in the shadows, gazing into the swirling flames of the furnace. If people were going to ruin his plan, let them try. They wouldn’t be the first to oppose him. And if his pirates failed, it didn’t matter. All it meant was the Algathor librarians would have some more life-forms to insert into gooey stasis and slowly break down into nutrient-rich pus. Of course, he thought, wheezing loudly, maybe that’s the point of existence. Maybe all life-forms are just waiting to be inserted into gooey stasis so their bodies can be slowly broken down into nutrient-rich pus.

  He nodded, agreeing with himself.

  * * *

  “Great. We’re back in the pirate ship.”

  “I don’t think this is the same pirate ship.”

  A thunderous metallic clatter echoed around the Gadabout as it was swallowed by the massive pirate ship. Holly’s fingers dug into the seat cushion. She swallowed. They were being sucked into the Kraven—the biggest, most diabolic ship Holly had ever seen. But then, she realized, she hadn’t actually seen a lot of spaceships. Of course, that didn’t matter—nothing could be more diabolic than the Kraven. It was a mass of tangled metal, as if every horrible ship in the universe had been drawn to it and mashed together. It was like an enormous hand reaching out of the darkness of space, searching for something to strangle.

  “This was a bad idea,” she muttered.

  Jalya’s gaze fell to her shoes. “I’m sorry.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” said Holly quickly, although part of her did. As metal doors slammed behind them, trapping them inside the Kraven, a small part of Holly wished she had gone back to Earth. Earth didn’t have huge evil pirate ships. Or, if it did, they were regular pirate ships, and you could avoid them by not going in the ocean.

  “We need to strategize,” said Mr. Mendez, listening to the clattering noises. “Perhaps we could hide under the piles of garbage Mr. Toshiro helpfully keeps in his ship.”

  Toshiro held up his blaster. “I’ve got a better strategy. We fight.”

  “Fight a whole ship of pirates?” said Holly. “We barely survived two of them when they captured us last time.”

  Toshiro smiled. “You didn’t have me last time. This won’t be half as hard as when I broke into Nova 13, then broke out with a cargo ship
full of spice and the heir to the Katanoki Dynasty. Kid was a biter.”

  Jalya looked up, her brow creased. She glanced from Holly to Toshiro, then spoke: “I have a plan.”

  “What is it?” said Holly.

  Jalya hesitated. She inhaled. “Toshiro will pretend he captured me and is turning me over for a reward. I will go with the pirates and you can all leave. You can bring the book to the President, and come rescue me with the Armada.”

  “No!” said Holly. “That’s . . . a dumb plan.”

  Jalya glared at her. “I am not dumb!”

  Holly pursed her lips. “I didn’t say you were dumb—I said your plan was dumb.”

  “It’s a perfectly fine plan. You only don’t like it because you didn’t come up with it.”

  “That isn’t true at all!” Holly crossed her arms. “I just think we can do better. I bet I can come up with a plan that isn’t so reckless. I’m actually really good at planning things, several people have told me that.”

  Jalya opened her mouth to speak, when something loud banged on the door. They all fell silent. Holly held her breath. The banging continued.

  “Open the door!” shouted a deep voice outside. “We know you’re in there!”

  “Great galaxies,” muttered Mr. Mendez. “We’re in trouble this time.”

  Holly chewed on her lip as a stream of thoughts swirled around her head. As she stood there, inside a massive pirate ship, waiting for pirates to burst through the door and kill them, the small part of her that wished she were back on Earth grew larger. Her perfect posture wavered. Taking tests was nothing compared to this. It suddenly seemed absurd that she had worried so much about Falstaff.

  She wondered what her mother was doing back on Earth. Had she noticed Holly was gone? Was she worried? Holly bowed her head. As she thought about it, she realized she even missed her mother. At the very least her mother wasn’t an evil pirate ship.