Holly Farb and the Princess of the Galaxy

by Gareth Wronski

  “Fact: My programming does not allow for me to sit in the ship.”

  Holly crossed her arms. “You’ve been sitting in the ship since we met you!”

  AsTRO beeped. “Fact: No I have not.”

  “I liked you better when you couldn’t lie.”

  “Fact: Lying is fun. Fact: Lying saved our lives.”

  Holly rolled her eyes. She descended the ramp and joined up with Mr. Mendez and Toshiro as the Gadabout shimmered and turned invisible. The sun hung high above, and insects chirped in the swaying trees. Holly and the group pushed through the jungle. A bug landed on her neck and she flinched and swatted at it. Toshiro drew his blaster and shot at the branches blocking their path.

  They passed ancient trees and crossed long, winding streams. In the clearings, the sun glared down on them. In the shade, insects chased them, desperate for a quick meal. Toshiro aimed his blaster at one particularly persistent insect he claimed was stalking him, muttering, “It’s got a taste for somethin’ good.”

  As they continued on, the trees became older and larger, their massive trunks resembling muscular arms reaching out of the ground. Holly ran her hand down the bark and found it to be . . . slimy and warm. She shuddered and quickly moved on.

  AsTRO whirred. “Fact: The heroes trekked through the alien planet. The weather was irrelevant. The useless humans trudged pointlessly along, significantly impacting the efficient path of their robot leader. . . .”

  The jungle gave way to flat, cleared land, which gave way to the sprawling capital city. It resembled an ancient civilization with huge buildings masterfully crafted out of dark-gray stone. But it also looked like its best days were long over. Weeds were growing up through the cracks in the paved streets. Purple vines spiraled along the sides of buildings. Mr. Mendez plucked one off and sniffed it. He gagged and dropped the vine, which turned to dust. As they walked through shady streets, Holly was most unnerved by the lack of people.

  It was a city, but there was no one in it.

  “Where is everyone?” she said, looking around. Buildings loomed above them like massive pillars holding up the gray sky. Huge, blocky shadows covered the hollow city. Broken machines littered the streets like garbage.

  “It appears,” said Mr. Mendez, “that everyone has left.”

  “Not everyone,” said Toshiro, pointing.

  Holly’s eyes followed. Down the street there was an alien sitting, leaning against a sloping building. He appeared to be the same species as Jalya—blue, and freckled with pink splotches, but smaller and thinner. He was hunched over and muttering to himself. They approached him slowly.

  “Hello,” said Holly, but the alien stared down at the ground, ignoring her. His head rocked back and forth. Holly glanced at Mr. Mendez, who shrugged.

  “Hello,” she tried again, this time louder. She knelt down. “Do you know what happened to this place?”

  The alien looked up at her. Where Jalya’s eyes were bright, this alien’s were dull and a strange pale red. “What happened?” said the alien, his head still rocking slightly. “That’s a long story. How much time do you have? What happened. What happened, indeed. Now, that’s a long story.”

  “Er,” said Holly. “What’s your name?”

  “I used to have a name,” muttered the alien, “but they took that, too. They took everything.”

  “Is ‘they’ the pirates?” said Toshiro.

  The alien looked up, startled. “The pirates. Yes. When the King and Queen . . . yes, the pirates. They took everything. Took everyone. Quartle, once great. Now, not. They took everyone.” The alien cradled his head in his hands. “Yes, they even took all the citizens. I was one of the first. I was lucky, they said. Lucky. Maybe that’s my name.”

  Holly frowned. “What do you mean they took the people?”

  Lucky grabbed Holly’s wrists and stared up at her. “The King made a horrible mistake. The pirates—no. Quartle—it was once a great planet. You must understand. Lucky. That’s what they said—if you were born on Quartle, you were lucky. But now, maybe not so much.” He lowered his head. “They took everyone to the palace. Most never came out. Those that did come out came out wrong. Lucky came out. They said I was fortunate.”

  Holly stood and looked at Mr. Mendez and Toshiro. Lucky fixed his dull red eyes on the ground, his head rocking, once again ignoring them.

  “What did they do to him?” said Holly.

  Mr. Mendez gazed sadly at the alien. “Perhaps an experiment of sorts? That they needed test subjects for?”

  Toshiro glanced around at the buildings and the empty streets. The only sounds were a distant rustling of wind and Lucky’s muttering. “Some experiment.”

  The sun disappeared behind a dark slate of clouds, casting a cold pall over everything. Holly shivered. She didn’t like this place—it felt wrong. She imagined her own city deserted and crumbling, weeds spreading everywhere. She imagined herself remaining, sitting in the streets, unable to even explain what had happened. Completely alone.

  “We need to stop them,” she said defiantly, focusing on the palace.

  “Um,” said Mr. Mendez, “there are almost certainly a significant number of pirates in there. . . .”

  Toshiro cracked his knuckles. “If you’re gettin’ cold feet, you can go hide in the ship. Ask Friday to put on some smooth jazz to calm your nerves.”

  “No,” said Mr. Mendez, “I’m, uh, perfectly confident.”

  “Me too,” said Holly, not feeling perfectly confident at all. If the palace was full of pirates, she doubted they could just walk in and rescue Jalya. There would be fights, and she wasn’t exactly accustomed to fighting. Especially not fighting pirates. In space. Her mother had enrolled her in karate when she was six, but she had lasted only a few months, until a girl accidentally punched her in the ear and everyone laughed. She doubted that would be too helpful.

  “We may have a problem,” said Mr. Mendez. He handed Holly his magnification goggles and she brought them up to her eyes.

  Adjusting a dial, she saw what he was referring to. There were pirates grouped by the entrance of the palace, as well as a few marching along the roof. She could make out something glittering in their hands, and she swallowed down nerves when she realized what it was. Each pirate had a rifle.

  “Oh boy,” she muttered.

  “Reckon they’re the welcome party,” said Toshiro, leaning against a building.

  “So how do we get in?”

  “Well . . .” He detached from the building and removed his pistol from the holster on his waist. “I do have one idea.”

  Holly raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting . . .”

  Toshiro nodded. “I’m suggesting action.” He held up his blaster. “I’ll use derring-do to distract them, and someone can sneak in or whatever. When I find the Pirate Lord, I’ll shoot it with lasers.”

  Holly crossed her arms. “That sounds really, really dangerous.”

  Toshiro shrugged. “For them, maybe.”

  “You could die.”

  “Welcome to life.”

  Mr. Mendez considered this. “Um, well, he may have a point. We can’t possibly manage a direct assault on a fortified palace. But we can use deceit and trickery. His idea has merit. I don’t know how we can get in otherwise.”

  Toshiro grinned and patted Mr. Mendez on the back.

  AsTRO beeped. “Fact: I will lead the vanguard. If I am deactivated, tell the world my story.” The robot turned in a circle and marched away.

  Frowning, Holly sighed. “Fine. I’ll be the one who sneaks in, though. I’m smaller.” Her eyes trailed to the palace in the distance. “I’ll get Jalya.”

  * * *

  A group of pirates stalked along the roof of the palace in a single file, humming a space shanty. A distant explosion echoed through the courtyard, making them jump. They pointed at something Holly couldn’t see, and then ran toward it. A huge roar broke out on the other side of the palace, followed by shouts and laser blasts.

 
; Holly waited until she was sure the pirates were gone. Staying low, she snuck toward the palace, creeping around the back, hiding behind some formerly well-manicured shrubs that were now overgrown and tangled. One looked a bit like a Saskanoop. Another looked like a troll holding an ax. She hoped no pirates would see her lurking around.

  Sneaking up to a basement window, she glanced up at the roof. There was no one. She opened the window and lowered herself down, her feet thudding against the floor and kicking up dust. The sound echoed dully around her, and she froze until it faded to silence.

  She was standing in a dim basement. Rusty pipes snaked overhead. A steady drip of water pitter-pattered against the stone floor, and soft light streamed in through the open window.

  Now all she had to do was find Jalya.

  Odd bits of equipment were scattered around like the room had been ransacked. Holly picked up a warm metal sphere that was vibrating. Her hair straightened and stood on end. She put the sphere back and her hair drooped down. Brushing it off her forehead, she examined a tube in the corner full of swirling purple liquid. She tapped on the glass but nothing happened.

  Her eyes fell on a big machine in the center of the room. Holly approached it cautiously, wondering what it was. Could it be the “Forge” the Pirate Lord had spoken about? She examined it, running her hand along the cold metal. Gears and pistons zigzagged through its metal innards, but there were only two buttons on its control panel—one red, one green.

  She hesitated, held her breath, and pushed the green button.

  The machine clattered to life and let out a hiss of steam. Holly jumped back. This must be the Forge, she thought. If she destroyed it, the Pirate Lord wouldn’t be able to hurt any more people. And it wouldn’t need Jalya, either.

  The machine started pumping out sheets of paper, which whirled to the floor. Holly stooped down and picked one up. It was a plain white poster, and all that was written on it was: THE PIRATE LORD IS THE BEST!!!

  Holly narrowed her eyes. “Never mind,” she muttered, dropping the paper to the floor. She pushed the red button on the printing press and it stopped chugging.

  The room fell silent again. Bits of dust dropped from the ceiling like snow. Something clanged at the far end of the room, making Holly’s stomach turn. The door creaked open and someone lumbered inside. Heavy boots scraped against the floor. She ducked behind the printing press, watching the large, bulky figure shuffle along. Bright lights flooded the room, and she squinted as her eyes adjusted. Finally, when she could make out who the person was, her fear evaporated. She grinned.

  “Bundleswirp!” she said, jumping up. “I can’t believe it. What are you doing here?”

  Captain Bundleswirp stood in front of the door, her head bowed. “My ship was attacked by pirates. They brought me here.”

  “How did you escape?” said Holly. Slowly, she realized something wasn’t right. The hair on her neck stood up. She swallowed. “You did escape, didn’t you?”

  “No,” said the captain. She raised her head and Holly gasped. The alien’s eyes weren’t their usual deep brown—they were a dark red. Her face was slack and expressionless. Holly backed up, the printing press jamming into her neck.

  Bundleswirp stepped forward. She picked up a heavy wrench from a nearby table and pointed it menacingly at Holly. “You can’t escape from where you belong.”

  16

  THE FORGE

  Bundleswirp ran at Holly, who turned and dashed in the other direction. Footsteps thundered behind her, echoing in her ears and reverberating through her whole body. She glanced over her shoulder and found Bundleswirp racing after her, the captain’s red eyes focused on her like she was the only thing in the room.

  Holly banked a corner and ducked behind a piece of vibrating equipment. Bundleswirp skidded into a table and knocked a pair of beakers to the floor, which shattered and spilled green liquid that shrieked. She straightened and peered around the dim room. The alien walked slowly, her boots crunching on the broken glass. Holly swallowed. Somehow she doubted she could outrun Bundleswirp. At least not for long. Running was not her favorite thing.

  Crouching low, she tried to figure out what was going on. Why was Bundleswirp doing this? The pirates had done something to her. They had . . . She gasped, and threw a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. They had put Bundleswirp in the Forge.

  That’s what the Forge was. Some sort of brainwashing machine. Her eyes widened. A . . . a space brainwashing machine.

  As Bundleswirp stalked to the other side of the room, Holly saw her chance to escape. She crept out from behind the machinery and moved toward the open door—when Bundleswirp whirled around. The alien’s red eyes glared at her.

  “Found you.”

  Holly ran along the crowded basement, and Bundleswirp raced after her. They rumbled through the room, knocking over shelves and chairs, metal and glass crashing to the floor. Bundleswirp reached out to grab her, but the alien’s foot slid on a pile of papers scattered across the floor and she fell backward with a loud thud.

  Holly panted. Bundleswirp didn’t move. Slowly she approached the captain and knelt by her side, checking her pulse. As far as Holly could tell, Bundleswirp had several pulses.

  She was alive, but unconscious.

  Holly sighed with relief. Then she looked at what Bundleswirp had slipped on—it was one of the posters that read: THE PIRATE LORD IS THE BEST!!! She rolled her eyes.

  This is bad, she thought. If Bundleswirp had been brainwashed, that meant Jalya might have been as well. If Mr. Mendez and Toshiro were captured, they could try to kill her, too. And she doubted she could fight Toshiro. Maybe Mr. Mendez. She could probably outrun him at least . . . but she doubted she could do it for long.

  She needed to find Jalya—and quickly.

  Taking a deep breath, Holly slipped out of the basement into a slanting hallway. She followed the pipes running along the ceiling, winding in a maze of rusty metal. Liquid rushed through them and some clattered in their bracers. A nearby piston hissed and Holly jumped back, dodging scorching-hot steam.

  She moved slowly through the halls and went up the stairs, one at a time. She glanced behind her, expecting something horrible to jump out. She wasn’t sure what she was more afraid of seeing—pirates, or Mr. Mendez and Toshiro. If Bundleswirp had been brainwashed, who knew who she could run into.

  Could it happen to anyone?

  Could it happen . . . to her?

  The stone hallways echoed with distant shouts. A huge explosion shattered a window at the far end, sending glass raining down. Outside, pirates bellowed in various languages, and something roared in response. Holly wondered if that was Toshiro’s diversion. Whatever it was, it was loud and very diversiony.

  “Watch out for that moon!” someone shouted.

  Holly’s eyebrows rose. Part of her really wanted to see that diversion. . . .

  Since no pirates were around, she continued through the palace, creeping along the once-elegant halls, which were now dirty and ransacked. Deep cracks ran along the marble floors and twisted up the walls. The sun struggled to get in through the dusty windows. Everything needed a fresh coat of paint or polish. A sign saying LABORATORY hung over a nearby door, and deciding that a laboratory would be where a mysterious machine was located, Holly entered through the door and descended a spiral staircase.

  A deep hum gargled up from below. The sound started subtly but grew louder, until it was reverberating through her whole body. Tensing, she tried to ignore the weird noise.

  She entered a large laboratory full of basins and tubes and machinery. Metal catwalks circled the room above. Standing at the far end of the lab was a . . . something. A large something. Then it moved and wheezed and she knew what it was.

  It was the vacuum cleaner Pirate Lord, hunched over, nodding to itself and muttering, “Why didn’t it work?” It reached a metallic hand inside the hole in its chest and removed a large ball of dust. Holly ducked behind a basin of blue liquid and watched the robot
.

  Her eyes scanned the room. Was Jalya here? If not, could she sneak by the robot and find her? And what was it doing in here? She needed a plan, and she needed to come up with it now or—

  “I see you there,” the Pirate Lord intoned. Its head tilted. “Yes, you. The human girl hiding over there. You can come out now. It isn’t really a hiding place if the person you’re hiding from knows you’re there, now is it?”

  Holly hesitated, sighed, and stepped out from behind the basin. She grit her teeth and tried to stick her shoulders back to look more impressive, like the time she spent three hours taking photographs for her election poster. “I’m—I’m here to rescue Jalya.”

  The Pirate Lord nodded. “Yes, I figured as much.”

  “Where is she?” said Holly, her eyes unable to look away from the gaping, wheezing hole in its chest.

  “She’s around here somewhere. Being a disappointment.”

  Holly’s stomach churned. “Give—give her back and I’ll let you live.”

  “But I’m not living.” The Pirate Lord stepped forward, its blank mask staring at her. “At least not technically.”

  “Just because Jalya’s parents were . . . mean . . . to you doesn’t make it right to do this!”

  The Pirate Lord straightened up to its full height, towering over everything in the room. “When I was first made, I was given the name GR-5446. My function was to clean for the lazy royalty who purchased me. That was all I knew, and I had no choice in the matter. But then the King decided to experiment on me—to reprogram me. Then that was all I knew, and I had no choice in that matter either. Do you know what it’s like to have someone poke around your insides and take out your brain and make you do what he wants?” The Pirate Lord hunched over again, its red eyes gazing fiercely at Holly. It flinched. “Soon the Quartle Empire will stretch to the ends of the universe. Soon I will be the lord of all things. Will you not bow before me?”

  Holly crossed her arms. “No.”

  “Yes, I see. You raise a good point. Once freed of the mechanical destiny my manufacturers placed upon me, the first thing I did was get rid of my father. For a life-form powerful enough to rule a galaxy, he was not as durable as you would think. It was clear I was more fit to rule.” It ran a hand down its expressionless blue face. “I made this extremely authentic mask so I could look like a real king. Do you like it?”