A Son for the Cowboy

by Sasha Summers

  Toben watched his son, his small hand extended toward the black dog huddled in the corner. “She okay?” he asked, hoping Fisher understood what he was asking. No way he was going to let his son near an unpredictable animal.

  Fisher nodded. “She’s shy. A real shadow, follows real close, real quiet.”

  “Maybe not the best guard dog,” he said softly to his son.

  “Sure she is,” Rowdy said. “Come on, I’m real nice. So is Ma.”

  The dog’s ears perked up, her head tilting one way, then the next.

  “Come on,” Rowdy said.

  Poppy knelt beside her son. “She’s a pretty girl.”

  The dog ran toward the gate then and flopped on her back, baring her tummy. Toben chuckled. “Well, that’s some greeting. Can I open the gate?”

  “Go for it,” Fisher said.

  The dog sat up, watching him. As soon as the gate was open, she rushed to Rowdy and climbed into his lap. Rowdy giggled, knocked back onto his rear. “You’re too big, girl,” he said, stroking along the dog’s neck.

  Toben thought the dog was just the right size for Rowdy. She had some Border collie in her, with thick glossy black fur, wise brown eyes and alert pointed ears. Her tail wooshed, her long fur fanning Rowdy’s hair back. Toben chuckled and looked at Poppy and his heart stopped. She had tears in her eyes, her smile so wide and bright he knew he’d love her until his heart stopped beating.

  “I guess she’s it,” Poppy said.

  “Feel free to look around,” Fisher said.

  “She might need a friend, Ma,” Rowdy piped up.

  Poppy sighed, shaking her head. “She’ll have us, Rowdy. I think she’ll be happy with that.”

  “And Cheeto,” Toben added. “Something tells me she and Cheeto will get along great.” If for no other reason than they both loved his boy so much. The black dog gave Poppy a sniff, licked her hand and hurried back to Rowdy. “She’s good.”

  “Can she come home tonight, Ma?” Rowdy asked.

  Toben saw her look his way. He nodded once, saw her lips tighten and frowned. What the hell had he done? And how could he undo it?

  “We don’t have anything at the house,” she answered. “And we won’t be home tomorrow night, Rowdy. Seems wrong to take her home now and leave her alone for most of the day tomorrow. If we knew how she was with crowds, we could take her. But I don’t want to upset her.”

  Rowdy nodded. “You’re right, Ma. Can we come get her after that? Please?”

  “Would that be okay?” Poppy asked Fisher. “I hate to leave her so long but—”

  “No, sounds like the best thing,” Fisher agreed. “I’ll let Hunter know you two will be coming in. He’s the one on call.”

  “Thank you,” Poppy answered.

  Saying goodbye to the dog wasn’t easy, but Toben offered to bring him back to visit tomorrow so the dog wouldn’t worry too much.

  “You can drop us at the shop,” Poppy said. “My truck is there. No reason for you to have to make the trip. Besides, I’m sure you’re ready for a night back in your own bed.”

  Toben shot her a look, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. He couldn’t very well argue with her, not with Rowdy in the truck. And she knew it. But if she thought he was going to the bunkhouse, tail tucked between his legs, she was in for a surprise.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Poppy spread Rowdy’s blankets around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek and smoothing the curls back from his forehead. He was well on his way to dreamland, but she stayed by his side. Tonight had been good—and horrible. She’d met nice people, people who wanted to include her in their lives. They’d found a sweet dog that Poppy knew would watch over her son and keep them safe. Rowdy had met more of his family, a family eager to welcome him into their hearts.

  And she’d been reminded of all the damage and heartbreak Toben was capable of. How had she let this happen? How had she let her defenses down—put her and Rowdy in jeopardy? She knew better.

  Rowdy snorted in his sleep and rolled onto his side. She smiled, stood and left. She glanced down the hall at the empty house. Being lonely was a way of life for her. After Toben, she’d learned guarding her heart was the best course of action. One she couldn’t afford to change now. It wasn’t if she and Toben didn’t work out; it was when. Rowdy deserved better.

  She went to her room, cursing to herself as she stripped down, then took a long, hot shower. When the water ran cold, she dried off and tugged on one of the shirts Toben had left. She hugged herself, burying her nose in the sleeve as she walked from the bathroom to her bedroom. No. Seeking comfort in Toben Boone makes me a fool. Frustration gripped her by the throat as she yanked the shirt up and off and tossed it into the corner and slid into a robe. She knew him, knew how he operated. Yes, he said and did the right things. He always had. Always.

  She grabbed a pillow off the bed, punched it once and kicked it into the corner.

  “What’d the pillow ever do to you?” Toben leaned in the doorframe, fully dressed and scowling.

  Poppy jumped...swallowing down her startled cry. “What the hell...” She pressed a hand to her chest, her heart thumping like mad.

  He pushed off the doorframe and crossed the room until he was standing so close—but not touching her. And dammit, she wanted his arms around her. Even now, knowing she was a fool. Instead his hands stayed firmly planted on his hips, his face lined with irritation. Like he had a right to be irritated.

  His words were low. “What the hell was that all about, Poppy? What happened?”

  She swallowed. “I...need space.”

  His posture eased but he still didn’t reach for her. “Why?”

  Was he nervous? “Why? Because we’re not used to all this. I...I’m not used to sharing him, Toben. It’s just been us for so long.” She glanced at him, too nervous to hold his gaze. She didn’t want to lose her anger, to get sucked into those baby blues or the hope they stirred in her. “Now all these people have a claim on him. And I’m just—”

  His hands clasped her arms. “You’re everything to him.”

  She shrugged out of his hold, his touch too tempting.

  He frowned, a deep furrow forming between his brows. “There’s no reason to feel threatened, Poppy. There’s room for them in this family, too.”

  “They don’t threaten me,” she whispered, then cleared her throat. She met his gaze, watching as his expression hardened.

  “I do?” he asked, crossing his arms. “All I want is—”

  “I know what you want,” she cut him off. “What you say you want. And maybe, right now, you do want it—us, I mean. But dammit, Toben...” She shook her head. “You left me. You were unreachable, gone, disappeared, a ghost, when I needed you. You knew me. You let me think I was special...” She broke off. Baring her soul wasn’t something she did. All the words she’d ever wanted to say to him seemed to get tangled and twisted and incoherent. “Why is now any different? With me? I understand you want Rowdy in your life. But me?” She shook her head. “I’m the same person you left sleeping in that hotel room years ago. The same woman. I might have let my loneliness blindside me a little but... You didn’t want me then. I’d be a fool to think you want me now. And I’m not a fool.”

  He shook his head. “Poppy, you think this is all about getting you into bed?” His voice had turned gruff.

  “No.” She hugged herself tight. “I think it was about you needing to feel close to Rowdy—maybe even to me since I know him best. But that’s all. And pretending there’s something else going on is dangerous.”

  His jaw flexed. “Because?”

  She swallowed. “You’re you and I’m me.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Meaning what?”

  “You leave. I can’t. You leave me, you leave Rowdy. Whatever happens, I won’t let
Rowdy get—”

  “Hurt,” he finished. His face was hard. “So this, us, doesn’t matter?”

  “There’s no us, Toben. This was...sex. You’ve slept with enough women to know that. We have a son, period.”

  He touched her cheek, smoothing her damp hair from her shoulder. “You think that’s all there is between us?”

  She nodded, refusing to step back, to flinch away from him.

  There was sadness on his face, in his beautiful blue eyes. “You said you were scared earlier. I never thought you were scared of me.”

  He had no right to look at her like that, no right to make her heart hurt.

  “You’re trying to shut me out.”

  “No, I’m trying to move on.” She stepped around him. “We had unfinished business. Now we don’t.”

  “There’s no moving on from this, Poppy. Not for me, anyway.” His tone was soft and oh so tempting. “You won’t believe me, but I know everything I want is here.”

  She was unable to face him now. She wasn’t that strong. “This doesn’t need to be difficult, Toben. No one’s going to be heartbroken here. Except, maybe, our son.”

  Silence stretched on until Poppy’s heart was in her throat. Why wouldn’t he just leave? Why couldn’t he accept the truth, for everyone’s sake?

  “You’re wrong.” The floor squeaked as he came around her, staring down at her. “I messed up. Big-time. I had you and I didn’t understand how important you were—not yet. After three years, I thought our night together would be another good time. I woke up and life was upside down. I hightailed it out of there, too scared to think things through. I was always looking for you—to see you, to avoid you...”

  Her heart thumped. He’d looked for her?

  “After that, I stayed drunk for a good six months. Deacon snapped me out of it, sobered me up and told me to get over you, find someone else. I looked, believe me. But none of them were you.” He paused. “I’m an idiot for ripping up your letters and a chickenshit for never returning your calls. I didn’t understand then what you mean to me. Now I know. And now that I’ve found you, I’m not letting go without a fight.”

  For an instant, his words filled all the cracks and holes her heart bore. Too bad she knew they were a desperate attempt to hold on to her until he was ready to cut her loose. She couldn’t go through that again, not with Rowdy relying on her. “Stop, Toben. I...I need you to leave.”

  “I love you, Poppy.” The words were rough. “Whether you believe me or not, I want you to know it.”

  Poppy pressed her eyes shut, digging deep for the strength to send him away.

  “You hear me?” he asked.

  She looked up at him, her words thick. “I hear you.”

  “Want me to go?”

  She almost shook her head. If only she could believe him...love him. But loving him was a risk, the biggest risk of her life. Would he still love her once he knew she loved him? Or was it the challenge that kept him around? Confessing how she felt opened the door to a pain she wasn’t sure she could bear. For her and Rowdy.

  She wanted to believe him. Nothing would make her happier than knowing his love was real. But her fear and anger had been so well tended the last few years she didn’t know how to trust in him. No matter how much she wanted to.

  “Yes. I want you to go.”

  She hadn’t expected the anguish on his face. Or the slicing pain in her heart as he left her feeling more alone than she’d ever been before.

  * * *

  “CHEETO LOOKS GOOD.” Toben smiled, adjusting the pony’s girth and double-checking Rowdy’s stirrups. “Before long, we’ll need to get you on a horse. One that will be a friend for you and Cheeto.”

  Rowdy grinned. “Think so?”

  Toben nodded. “When you come to the ranch, you can see what I do. We have a lot of horses needing homes. Like your dog. What are you going to call her?”

  “I like Lady or Cheyenne. Ma likes Cheyenne.” Rowdy said. “She said it was a special place.”

  Toben patted his son’s leg. “It is.” Cheyenne, Wyoming, was where Rowdy was made. Cheyenne was where he’d fallen in love with and then lost Poppy. “It’s a good name.”

  Rowdy nodded.

  “Don’t you two look like peas in a pod?” Renata sat on her roan, her saddle and bridle decorated with red, white and blue ribbons—like everyone else’s. “Handsome as all get-out.”

  Toben nodded. He’d searched high and low until he’d found matching shirts for him and Rowdy. In Poppy’s shop, of course. “We look good.”

  “Think he gets his looks from his mom,” Renata said, winking.

  He nodded. Poppy was a beauty. All day he’d struggled with the deep hurt of her rejection, but he understood. If she couldn’t trust him, it was his fault. She’d seen how he lived, up close and personal, and knew he was a rat bastard. Had been. Not anymore. He had two options: give up a future with her or show her he’d changed. Put that way, there was only one choice.

  Rowdy giggled, tipping his hat at Renata. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  Renata exchanged a look with Toben, smiling broadly. “That, right there, is how a real cowboy talks to a lady.”

  Toben beamed with pride, swinging up into his saddle beside his son. He was riding one of the refuge horses. The white horse had been painted with chalk, a faux firework across his haunch and back legs. Renata’s handiwork. “You ready to show them how it’s done?” he asked.

  Rowdy nodded. “Yes, sir. Where’s Ma?” he asked, turning in his saddle.

  “I know your ma. She won’t be late.” Toben guided the horse in line. For Poppy White, rodeo was serious business.

  Rowdy nodded. “She’s nervous about tonight. Holding the flag and all.”

  Toben thought about the scars on her side. He hoped she wouldn’t argue with him about the alteration he’d made on the saddle. He didn’t want her to hurt if she didn’t have to. And this should help, if she’d use it.

  Poppy arrived moments later, sitting pretty on Stormy, her red sequined top sparkling in the Texas sun. She wore a white hat, secured beneath her chin with a bright blue cord. Her jeans hugged her in all the right places, making Toben curse and shift in his saddle.

  “Boys,” she said, smiling at Rowdy—barely glancing his way.

  “Hold up,” Renata said. “Smile.” She took several pictures. “Y’all look great.”

  Toben stared at Poppy, his heart so full.

  Her brown eyes met his, widening. “What?”

  “Nothing,” he said. Telling her he was a damn lucky man would get her all riled up. He didn’t want that, not today.

  “Smile and wave,” she said, winking at Rowdy before nudging Stormy forward.

  He and Rowdy followed. Cheeto was having to trot to keep up with the larger horses, so Toben slowed his horse to a leisurely walk. Cheeto could breathe easier.

  “Dad.” Rowdy looked at him. “I was wondering if you were going to marry Ma?”

  Toben looked at his son. He hoped, in time, Poppy might trust him enough—love him enough—to consider the notion. “Someday, I hope. There’s nothing I want more. Is that all right with you? Since you’re the man of the house and all.”

  Rowdy looked at him, long and hard. “You’ll treat her right? Won’t hurt her or run out on us?”

  Toben looked his son in the eye. “Only way I’d go is if she asked me to—”

  “Even then. You ask her, it has to be forever.” Rowdy shook his head. “Uncle Bob said marriage is hard work.”

  “He’s right,” he agreed. He imagined marriage to Rose might be harder than marriage to Poppy. But it was true. He wanted Poppy to have his name, to be his. But no matter what happened between them, he’d be there for them.

  “Ma didn’t marry Mitchell, because she’ll ne
ver break a promise, not ever.” He paused. “But I think she loves you that way. Like you love her.”

  “I hope so, Rowdy.” His son’s words eased the ache in his heart.

  “I can help find a ring,” Rowdy offered. “You should propose with a nice ring.”

  Toben nodded. He didn’t want to ding his boy’s enthusiasm, but he knew what Poppy’s answer would be right now. “Let’s keep it a surprise.”

  Rowdy nodded.

  The parade went off without a hitch. He and Rowdy waved and threw candy and red, white and blue beaded necklaces until their arms ached.

  When they made their way to the Stonewall Crossing fairgrounds, they were swapping jokes and laughing. Until he saw Mitchell Lee with Poppy in his arms.

  “Hey, look, it’s Mitchell.” Rowdy waved.

  Toben nodded, forcing a smile on his face. “Your ma was worried he wouldn’t make it.” He rode up to the fence, making a decision to be the man’s best friend if he had to. He was indebted to Mitchell, if nothing else. The man had taken care of his son and the woman he loved when no one else had—himself included.

  He swung down from the saddle, secured both his horse and Cheeto to the fence and swung Rowdy down. Rowdy grabbed his hand and tugged him after him.

  Mitchell hugged Rowdy. “How’s it going? I caught a glimpse of you bringing up the rear with Cheeto. Looked good, mighty good.”

  “Mitchell.” Toben held out his hand.

  Mitchell shot a quick glance at Poppy before shaking his hand. “Boone.”

  Toben let it go, figuring the best thing to do in this situation was give them space. “I’ll take the horses back. Get Cheeto settled for you.” He touched his hat, smiling at Poppy.

  “You don’t have to,” Poppy said.

  “I know. I’ll see you later on.” He untied Cheeto and led the pony to his truck and horse trailer. “I know you like me better,” he said to Cheeto, leading the pony inside.

  He drove out to Poppy’s first, where he put the pony in his stall, fed him and gave him a solid rubdown before heading to Boone Ranch. He was unloading horses when Renata arrived with the other truck and trailer.