No Turning Back

by Nancy Bush

  In the rearview mirror, Liz could see Jesse’s parted lips. He’d gotten a lot more information than he’d expected and was having a bit of trouble processing it.

  Tawny said, “So, you think someone killed them for their money?”

  “No. I don’t think they’d made enough yet for that.”

  “Then . . . ?”

  Hawk glanced back at Tawny, who sat in the backseat, kitty-corner from him. They hadn’t made their peace yet, but Tawny was trying and Hawk understood.

  “I think someone stumbled on their sweet deal and either didn’t like it or tried to cut himself in. But everything went haywire, like those things often do.”

  “Got any clue to who that someone is?” Jesse asked, some of his animosity fading beneath curiosity. He still wouldn’t look Liz’s way, but at least the glower that had darkened his handsome face was temporarily lifted.

  This was where Hawk grew cagey. Either he didn’t know or his guesses were too dangerous to be thrown into the conversation. He merely shrugged and shook his head.

  “What about Sarah Lister’s boyfriend? Did you talk to him?”

  “No . . .” Hawk was thoughtful.

  That ended their conversation, and soon they were parked in the Fieldings’ driveway and Kristy and Guy were hurrying toward the Jeep. Tawny slid out on one side, Jesse on the other. Hawthorne, protectively, stood by his son, and Liz climbed out to greet Kristy with a hug that embraced Tawny as well. Tears misted Kristy’s eyes and Liz felt her own eyes burn. Tawny’s small body shook and she gasped out a few sobs.

  “I’ll have you up on charges,” Guy stated coldly, eyeing Jesse as if he were the planet’s most-wanted criminal.

  Jesse just stared him down and Hawthorne did the same. Their similarities clutched at Liz’s heart.

  “We’ll talk about this later.” Kristy’s voice rang out authoritatively, surprising everyone. With that, she hustled Tawny into the house, and Liz followed slowly, glancing back to Jesse and Hawk. Guy, after a second of indecision, strode after Kristy.

  Hawk stared at Liz. She hoped all the love and worry and desire she felt wasn’t written across her face, but she had a feeling it probably was. Jesse refused to meet her gaze. He glared down at the ground and scuffed at small rocks with the toe of his boot.

  “We’re going to work out the details of the stolen car” was Hawk’s gruff way of saying good-bye, then he and Jesse climbed back into the Jeep.

  * * *

  Brad sucked on a cigarette so hard his face turned deep purple. Watching him, Jesse did the same. His lungs filled to popping and his head throbbed. He expelled on a small cough. No explosion or hacking fit this time, thank God. Too bad his eyes teared up.

  “You’re lame,” Brad said conversationally.

  “So are you.”

  “I’m unemployed. Lannie kicked my butt outta there.”

  “Why?” Jesse swiped at his eyes but tried to make it look like he was flinging back his hair.

  Brad was too self-involved to notice. He flipped back his own scattered locks and talked with the cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. It was supposed to look cool, but Jesse couldn’t help wondering how long before the cigarette dropped to the ground.

  “I’m a slacker.” Brad shrugged. “They caught those other guys for stealin’, but then it was just a lot of work and I kinda didn’t do it anymore. Lannie yelled and bitched and I said a few things I shouldn’t’ve. Y’know.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “So, I guess school’s comin’ up. Might as well give it one last try.”

  Jesse didn’t tell Brad that he’d taken the job at Lannie’s himself. He wouldn’t have been able to fully explain the urge that had come over him. That he needed the money was only part of it.

  The world, it is a’changin’.

  Jesse smoked the rest of his cigarette in silence as Brad updated him on his flagging interest in Carrie Lister. “She’s a pain. And her mom’s a witch. Jeezus, they were always fighting, and that guy, the one who whacked her, y’know? He’s around, but there’s another guy, too.” Brad sighed, the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Too much shit.”

  “I know what you mean,” Jesse said with feeling. Tawny’s parents acted as if he were a leper, although her mom was nicer than her dad. He understood why Tawny didn’t want to connect with him. Bastard. He was lucky he didn’t have parents like that.

  The thought carried a tiny sting with it. He did have parents, however. Plural. A dad and a mom. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but he knew he couldn’t just turn around and pretend to be happy.

  Sliding a glance Brad’s way, Jesse considered confiding in him. But somehow, he couldn’t. Tawny was the person he wanted to talk to, but since the escapade to Aberdeen she’d been locked away with her folks. God, what a mess.

  “I gotta go,” he suddenly said, turning to jog toward home before the words were fully past his lips.

  “Why?”

  “Somethin’ I gotta do,” he mumbled. There was one person he probably could talk to, though he didn’t really want to. A person he’d talked to in the past when everything was less complicated. The one person who could answer his questions, if he could actually formulate and utter them.

  Might as well give it a try. Better than standing around burning up his lungs smoking.

  * * *

  Hawk hadn’t seen Liz for the better part of three days. Straightening out Jesse’s mess took a ton of energy and he wasn’t certain he’d gotten it right yet. The guy whose car had been stolen wanted Jesse in jail for the rest of his natural life. Hawk couldn’t blame him. People were sick and tired of teen crime going unpunished. Jesse, however, showing remarkable restraint and remorse and initiative, had suddenly gotten a job to pay the man’s time and expenses for car retrieval and mental stress. Hawk had taken the usual, what-kind-of-policeman-can-you-be-with-that-delinquent-son-of-yours, abuse in stride. What the hell. If the guy wanted to rant and rave it was his right.

  The more personal issue for Hawk was Jesse and his new situation with him. Knowing Liz was his mother hadn’t improved Jessie’s relationship with his father, although, in all fairness, it hadn’t exactly worsened it either. In fact, it seemed as if Jesse had a deeper appreciation of the facts than he possibly could. Or maybe teenagers were less judgmental of social convention. That was certainly a given in Jesse’s case, but it was borne of necessity because Jesse regularly thumbed his nose at anyone or anything he considered the establishment.

  Still . . . they’d managed to get through the past few days with a degree of civility, and as Hawk climbed into his Jeep, he considered tracking down his wayward son and seeing if they could actually have a conversation on the subject. As if Jesse had picked up the vibes, he suddenly appeared on his bike coming down the drive. Hawk struggled back out of the Jeep, waving Jesse’s silent offer of help aside as his son threw down his bike, and reached out a hand.

  “Hey,” Jesse grunted.

  “Hey there,” Hawk returned. “I was just thinking about looking for you.”

  “Why?” Suspicion reigned.

  Hawk shrugged. “A lot of things to talk about.”

  Jesse considered that laconic explanation for a few moments and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me about the shrink lady before?”

  “Her name’s Liz.”

  Jesse snorted. “At least you don’t expect me to call her mom.”

  “I’m not completely stupid,” Hawthorne said dryly.

  And suddenly Jesse grinned. A wild, foolish, youthful curve of the lips that turned into a laugh. Hawk found himself smiling back. A moment. A connection.

  Jesse said, “I guess I’m gettin’ used to it.”

  It felt as if a monumental load had been lifted off his back. Hawk clapped Jesse on the shoulder. They grinned at each other for a few moments before Jesse started looking uncomfortable with the emotion. To save him, Hawk turned back to his Jeep, his thoughts happy. Might as well get on with the yew bark case
, and that meant a trip to search out Avery Francis. The guy was in this thing neck deep. Time to hammer out the truth.

  His son watched him leave with a more mature expression than Hawk had ever seen. I love you . . . Hawk thought inconsequentially and drove away before he could embarrass them both by actually voicing his feelings.

  * * *

  The dance performance came upon them rapidly. One minute it was a dream sparkling in Tawny’s bright eyes; the next it was an event ready to open at the local community theater house, which was really a renovated church. Liz had had no time to connect with Jesse, and Tawny was immersed in her program, as if it were her lifeline to a sane world. Guy’s presence put everyone on edge, but he didn’t seem to notice. His new wife didn’t like that he was in Woodside one bit and called every two hours. It all put Liz’s teeth on edge and by the afternoon before the recital, she was ready to bite someone’s head off if they said the wrong thing.

  And it didn’t help that Avery Francis had insisted on coming by. Now, as Liz finished up some nagging paperwork for her job, the doorbell rang. She groaned inwardly. She’d hoped he’d gotten the not-interested message earlier, but apparently, he hadn’t.

  “Hello there,” Avery greeted her in his friendly fashion, but beneath his easy tone there was tension.

  “Hi” was all she could think of to say. In truth, her mind was full of other issues: Jesse, Tawny, Kristy, not to mention Hawthorne Hart . . .

  “We haven’t seen each other in a while, and I thought maybe we could go out for a quick drink or something.”

  “I can’t,” Liz declined, letting regret slip into her voice. “I’ve got a billion things to do.”

  “Then maybe we can talk here. I’ve got a few billion things of my own.” He let himself in without further invitation and rested one thigh on a chair around Liz’s tiny table.

  “Would you like a cup of coffee? Or a glass of wine or something?”

  “Beer?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Wine’ll do.”

  Because he clearly didn’t have a preference, Liz poured him a glass of chardonnay. She poured one for herself as well. Who knew what was coming?

  It didn’t take long for Avery to get to his purpose. “You know your friend’s been overstepping the bounds of his authority.”

  “Oh?” She lifted her glass to her lips. “What friend?”

  “Detective Hart. He’s been digging into things he shouldn’t.”

  Hawk’s aversion to Avery at the park and vice versa came back in a flood of memory. And Hawk had said he believed someone involved in the yew bark scam had murdered Barney and Manny. “What things?” she asked carefully.

  “I think you already know.”

  Was that a threat in his voice? Liz’s throat was cotton. Hurriedly, she took another gulp of wine. This was no answer. She’d probably get drunk and leave herself open to God knew what. With a slightly trembling hand, she put the glass down on the counter.

  “I’m an undercover agent in a federal sting,” Avery suddenly blurted out, throwing her for a loop. “Hart’s been talking to a fellow agent, Don Vandeway, who’s been trying to get him to keep his nose out of it.”

  “Unsuccessfully?” Liz asked in a strained voice.

  “You got it. I was hoping maybe you could help. He’s a cowboy. Won’t listen to reason. He’s going to get himself killed, I’m afraid.”

  A cold feeling settled in the pit of Liz’s stomach. Avery’s tone was light and menacing. Had he been the one to shoot at Hawk and chase Manny Belding to his death?

  “I could call him . . . ?” She moved toward the phone.

  “Don’t” was his soft command.

  They stared at each other and Avery drained his glass, silently holding it out for more. Obediently, Liz complied. He patted the chair next to his, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. The doorbell rang at that moment.

  * * *

  No Avery Francis at his farm. No Sarah Lister at the Forest Service. And surprise of all surprises, Don Vandeway was out of the office. Their little triumvirate had taken out Manny and Barney; of that Hawk was certain. How and why, exactly, were still a mystery, but it was fast becoming a plot that Hawk, in his handicapped state, couldn’t handle alone. Perry would have his head anyway. Might as well come clean and take the abuse straight up and then they could forge ahead.

  As Hawk considered heading for the station, an image of Liz Havers crowded his mind. His leftover feelings of joy over Jesse’s acceptance couldn’t be denied and he decided to make a side trip first.

  Not that you want to see her or anything, he admonished himself.

  So what? Jesse’s acceptance was the real hurdle, he realized now. His own feelings for her had always been there, whether he cared to admit them or not.

  * * *

  Sarah Lister stood in Liz’s living room, her eyes full of suspicion and something else. Jealousy? Possibly. But there was an element of fear inside their angry depths, too, and Liz wasn’t quite certain why.

  “You followed me here?” Avery repeated, his voice tense. Liz stayed quiet. She already mistrusted Avery, and this new wrinkle couldn’t possibly help the situation she’d been thrust into.

  Sarah tucked her arms around her waist, looking defiant. “What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to call?”

  “We don’t have to talk about this now,” he said tightly.

  “Don’t mind me.” Liz sidled toward the little kitchen.

  “That policeman came by and harassed me and you don’t care! I’m not taking the fall!” Sarah wailed. “And then you come here and what am I supposed to think? Does she know about you? Does she?”

  “Shut up,” Avery bit out.

  Intimidation, however, didn’t work well on Sarah. She’d built up a head of steam and she was venting furiously. “You two-timing bastard!” she cried, then turned to Liz, pointing an accusing finger at Avery. “It’s because of him. That’s why Barney’s gone! Because of the yew bark permits.”

  Liz regarded Carrie’s mother carefully. She fervently wished Hawk were there. “You work for the Forest Service . . . and you helped Barney and Manny get the permits?”

  Sarah nodded fiercely. “That’s right. And then Avery came around, wining and dining and making me think everything was great. But y’know what? It was all a lie!”

  “You’re overreacting,” Avery declared tiredly as Sarah’s eyes brightened with the telltale sign of unshed tears.

  She blinked rapidly several times. “You’re a fuck,” she declared. She stared him down. Avery met her eyes squarely, sending hidden messages, but she was past his influence.

  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ...

  “How do you think Carrie got those bruises?” Sarah asked Liz, never releasing Avery’s gaze.

  Liz darted a look Avery Francis’s way but could tell nothing from his reaction. He simply shook his head in disgust, as if to say Sarah was way over the top and he couldn’t be bothered to deny her allegations.

  “You think you can just dump me?” she cried, losing the last shreds of her control. “I’ll go to the feds. I’ll tell them the truth! You can’t do it without me! You killed Barney Turgate.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, Sarah. Get a grip!” Avery sounded more exasperated than scared.

  “It’s all his fault He’s behind it all. Barney’s problem was having too big a mouth, that’s all. Manny warned him to keep his mouth shut, but Barney loved to brag. He couldn’t take that,” she added with a sneer. “So he blew him away.”

  “You’re crazy.” Avery finally tore his gaze away from her. He shrugged to Liz. “It’s because I’m here with you. That’s why I’m getting the blame.”

  “I’m telling the truth!”

  “I didn’t touch either of them,” Avery declared, losing patience. He went on for Liz’s benefit, “She thinks because she helped wax those federal land permits for Turgate and Belding that somehow it’ll benefit me.”

  “You’re worse
than both of them together!” Sarah ranted.

  “Why don’t you tell her who really gave Carrie those bruises?” he suggested coldly. “I’m not the only bed warmer around, am I?”

  Sarah’s mouth dropped open. She clearly hadn’t expected this counterattack. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  “I don’t give a rat’s ass what you’ve got going. But get this straight: I was investigating Barney and Manny, for God’s sake. I wouldn’t just rub them out for the hell of it. I had nothing to gain and it would blow my whole investigation, which, in fact, it’s done. Whoever killed ’em is sitting back with a big laugh.”

  Liz hovered by the wall to the kitchen, fascinated and frightened. Sarah blinked several times, a broken woman. Avery’s arguments were too strong to go against, and it was clear he’d made some painfully true suggestions.

  After a long, long time, Avery got to his feet. “I don’t think Ms. Havers wants to hear any more of this.”

  Liz expelled her breath in relief. Tension had infected her from head to toe.

  He waited for Sarah to rise, but it took her a while. The stuffing had been knocked out of her. He threw open the door, but in his distracted state he didn’t immediately see the figure on the porch. Hand raised to knock, Hawk took in the situation in a sweeping glance, his gaze thoughtful as it landed on Sarah.

  Liz’s heart swelled with joy and relief.

  Glancing around, Avery met Hawk’s gaze and said, “Oh . . . shit . . .”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hawk’s arrival acted like a collective gag. Sarah and Avery clammed up, as if Hawk were judge and jury and any spoken word would incriminate them—which, indeed, it might. Liz had formed a picture of the whole yew bark scam and found the players to be almost sad and pathetic. Barney and Manny had tried to make a few quick bucks and landed six feet under. Sarah, who may or may not be interested in a windfall, was desperate for a relationship with a man. Avery Francis was her first choice, but she clearly wasn’t his. Liz, herself, seemed to be Avery’s pick, and that had set up this little scenario.