by Dalia Wright
Emily gasped softly, a moan passing through her lips before she realized what was happening. Her eyes locked on him. His eyes shone as he looked at her, slightly pulling away from her.
“I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s okay?”
“O-of course,” Emily stammered. She closed the distance between them, her lips colliding with his again.
He guided her down to the grass, on her back. His lips moved away from hers, trailing along her jawline softly.
Emily had never felt like this before, had never experienced this. He eased away from her a little, studying her face.
“This isn’t normal for you, is it?”
“Nee,” she confessed in a small whisper.
“I’m glad,” he whispered, lips brushed her cheek softly.
Emily’s fingers tangled into his hair and pulled him closer. Their kiss grew more passionate, but Sam was always careful to never push her; to never touch her in a way that he shouldn’t. Emily appreciated that more than she could tell him.
Her eyes opened and she stared at the sky above her as he moved back, straightening himself. He ran his fingers through his hair as she stared at the coulds passing by.
She wasn’t so surprised this time. It was small, but she couldn’t deny seeing it: a heart.
Chapter Four
The day had been perfect. Except that it had to end. Emily hated the time when it came, knowing she had to face the rest of her life without him.
They slowly made their way back to her house. The entire time Emily couldn’t stop worrying. What would her mother say? Would she be rude? Would she turn Sam away without even meeting him?
As they grew closer to the house she spotted her father. He stopped the second he saw them.
“That’s my deatt.”
She watched as Sam swallowed. “I guess there’s no turning back now, eh?” He gave a nervous laugh.
“You still can if you want.”
“No, I don’t. But… you said this was the last time your mother would let you see me, right?”
Emily nodded. She didn’t want to admit it, but he was right.
“Then I’m willing to take that chance, at least to say that I did it. I’d always regret it if I didn’t.”
“Thank you.” It felt so lame to say, but she felt so grateful that he was in her life. Even for such a short time.
“You know… if you want I could meet you some time… late at night or something.” He cleared his throat, a blush rising to his cheeks.
“You mean, like, sneak out?” Emily wasn’t as shocked as she should have been. In fact, part of her was even considering it. She knew it was wrong, knew that if her family ever found out she had even considered it she would be punished. But… the idea of seeing Sam again was better than she was ever willing to admit.
“Emily!” Her father’s voice grabbed her attention. She saw him heading towards them. “There you are.” But his eyes weren’t on her.
“Deatt, I’d like you to meet- ”
“You must be Emily’s friend.” Her father extended his hand to Sam, and the two men shook hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
One week later
Emily’s mother had not been happy when Emily showed up with Sam at the door, but since then she had seen him every night. Whether her family knew or not, no one said a word.
But the more she saw him the more she wanted to see him. Again, and for longer.
Now, here she was. Her small bag packed – mostly with books - and her old clothing folded on the bed that she would never sleep in again.
She slipped into the jeans and pulled the sweater over her head. She stared at herself in the mirror as she took her kapp off. She had no clue what she was supposed to do. Maybe this is stupid. Of course it is. What if he leaves me? she asked herself. The truth was, she had no answers; had no clue what she would do if things with Sam didn’t work out. She was taking a risk. But… she had to. After all this time, the hearts in the sky still lingered with her, so she knew she had to take that risk. It is Gott’s choice for me, she thought. And she knew it was right.
She knew that she wouldn’t be able to come back here after tonight. She had left a letter for her mother, one for her father, and she planned on slipping one into her grandmother’s house before she went to meet Sam. He would be there waiting for her. They had talked and this was the only choice they had if they wanted to be together. I want him more than anything. She knew it was true, but it wasn’t just that - it was the inescapable pull she felt towards him.
The vehicle came to a stop. Emily didn’t know what to say.
“I, um, arranged for you to stay with a friend.”
“I’m not staying with you?” She was devastated at this revelation; tears started to well in her eyes.
He reached out and took her hand and their fingers tangled together. “Emily, if you stayed with me I would go crazy around you. I doubt I would ever leave my house, I’d be too busy trying to explore every inch of you.” He had that mischievous glint in his eyes again. Emily’s cheeks burned with embarrassment.
They still hadn’t done anything other than kiss. She felt guilt tug at her, knowing that he wanted more intimacy, but she was thankful he had never tried to push her into anything further, despite the fact that part of her wanted much more than just kissing. Which was normal, and she knew that, but she wasn’t going to give herself to him yet. This was Gott’s plan for her, but that didn’t meant it wasn’t a test as well, and she wasn’t going to fail to temptation.
“Kenda is a good friend of mine; she’s really nice and she’ll make sure you’re taken care of. She’s excited to meet you.”
Emily nodded. She didn’t know what to expect, but it was nice knowing that there was going to be someone other than Sam here for her; she had gone into this thinking it was just going to be the two of them.
“And when the time is ready, my family can’t wait to meet you.”
“I can’t wait.”
She meant it, too. She was excited for the life that she was about to start. She couldn’t wait to see what Gott had in store for her.
Chapter Five
As soon as Sam was gone - he had stayed for an hour - Kenda made some tea and the two girls sat down on the couch. There was a TV show on, but Emily wasn’t paying much attention. Then it was off to bed for Emily. It had been a long day, and thankfully, when her head hit the pillow, she was out cold. She didn’t dream and she didn’t have time to question her choice.
“So, it must be pretty scary for you.”
Emily had been up before Kenda, and this time she was the one to make the tea. Now, they sat on the couch again, sipping tea.
“It is,” Emily admitted.
“But you must really like Sam, right?”
“I do.” Emily paused to take a sip of the tea. She looked at Kenda carefully, trying to get a read on her. “Do you believe in Gott- er, I mean God?”
“In some ways. I believe that, even if there isn’t a God, if something is supposed to happen it will.”
Emily smiled. I think I like her. “I think Sam is God’s plan for me.” She was careful to use the English term this time. It’s not like she wasn’t used to being in the English world.
“You do?”
Emily nodded. She bit her lip. Will she think I’m crazy if I tell her the truth? “God gave me a sign, at least I think it was a sign…. Actually, it was a couple signs.”
“Whatever reason you have for doing this, it’s your own business. I’m just glad he met someone who wants to be with him.” She drained her tea and gave Emily a wide smile. “Now, what do you say we go shopping? Sam left some money a couple days ago. He said if he gave it to you you would fight him on it, and truth be told he has no clue how to shop. So, I offered to take you out and help.” She sounded so excited Emily couldn’t turn her down.
Having only a couple items of clothing with her, it wasn’t hard for Emily to figure out what to wear. When her cousin had come ba
ck to the community after her Rumspringa, she had given Emily her few bits of ‘normal’ clothing.
The two girls headed out in Kenda’s small red car, and drove to a strip mall.
“Most people don’t like it here, but they just aren’t looking right. There are some really good finds at the thrift store and they are always cheap. But, we’ll have to get you a couple good quality things, too - I don’t want you to look cheap.”
Her eyes danced as she slipped out of the car and headed for the thrift store. She looked like she was going to have a lot of fun. I’m just not sure if I will.
Emily could feel nervousness tug at her stomach. Everything was becoming so real. In her heart she knew she had made the right choice, but she couldn’t help questioning it.
Kenda held the door open for Emily as they stepped into the store. “Oh this is so exciting. I’ve been waiting to have a female friend to shop with for ages!”
Emily’s brow furrowed for a fraction of a second. “How do you know Sam?”
“We went to school together.” She headed down a row of clothing. Tops by the looks of it. She flipped through them and looked at them contemplatively. “Well, what do you like?”
“I’m not sure.” Emily looked through the shirts, all hung side by side. She pulled one out from the racks and looked at it. The cut was very low.
“Ohhh, that’s cute. Sam might be mad if I don’t get you to at least try it on.”
Emily laughed nervously, feeling slightly mortified at the idea of showing that much skin. I’ll try it on, just to see what it looks like.
“Do you know what you like?”
“Not really. I’ve never had much chance to figure it out.”
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to try everything on.” Kenda smiled widely.
Three hours later, Emily stepped out of the women’s washroom with new clothes, a bra that made it look like she actually had boobs, and even makeup.
Kenda looked so proud. “You look awesome.”
“Yeah, you do.”
His voice shocked her. She spun to face Sam. How had she not noticed him standing there?
Emily stared at him, her eyes wide as he looked her up and down.
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, I got a text from Kenda saying that I needed to come see you. I didn’t realize what she meant, but now…” He reached out and took her hand, pulling her into his arms. “I totally get it - you look stunning.”
Kenda cleared her throat. “Well, I think I’m going to head back to the house. You two have… fun.” She winked as she turned on her heel and walked away from them.
Sam laughed softly, pulling Emily closer to him. “I have to admit, I’m glad she’s going to give us a little alone time.”
“Did you really pay for everything?” Emily blurted it out before she could stop herself.
“Of course. You said the other day you didn’t have much money.”
“I’ll get a job as soon as I can. And I’ll pay you back every penny. I’m keeping the receipts and everything.”
A warm finger touched her lips softly. “Shhhh. I don’t want a single cent back. This was my treat to you.” He looked at her with such tenderness. “I’ve saved my entire life without someone to spoil; let me have a little fun with it, okay?”
Emily felt herself glow with contentment. “Alright, fine.”
“Good, now let’s go get lunch. You look so gorgeous it would be a shame to just take you home to Kenda.”
“I could always go home with you.”
Sam eyed her. “Are you sure that is a good idea? We’d be alone.”
Emily shrugged. “I’m sure we can manage. We’ve been alone several times now. You’ll have to take me back to Kenda’s, though. Before supper.”
Sam’s smile widened. “Sounds like a plan.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then led the way towards the exit of the mall. “I have the perfect place in mind for us,” he said as they headed out of the mall and into the sun. Instead of going for the parking lot he led the way towards a small café.
“How are you enjoying yourself? And how are you… feeling?”
“You mean, do I miss everyone or regret what I did? I don’t know, honestly. I’ve had a lot of fun with Kenda, though. She’s nice.”
“I’m glad you think so; she’s one of my best friends.” They came to a stop on the sidewalk, waiting for the light to turn. Sam looked down at his phone. He looked nervous. “Brian says Sarah knows you’re with me. She won’t tell, but she wants to see you soon.”
Emily have a quick nod. “Alright.”
She should have known that Sarah would figure it out; after all Sarah had been her best friend for years. I guess I’ll at least be seeing her. She can keep me updated on everyone. And maybe, just maybe, she could send a note or two along to Emily’s grandmother, as long as Emily’s grandmother wouldn’t rat her out. I don’t think she would.
Emily felt Sam tugging at her as the walk light turned green for them and they headed across the street.
“Are you going to miss everyone?”
“Maybe. Probably for a while, but I’m excited to start fresh here. I’m excited to see where it goes.” And she was. She couldn’t wait to see what would happen. She couldn’t wait to establish her life in the English world, with Sam.
She let him lead the way into the café.
“My family is already over the moon excited to meet you.”
“They are?”
“I’ve made them promise to wait a little longer, though. I don’t want to overwhelm you, after all.” His eyes sparkled as he looked over at her.
“Thank you.” She meant it. Everything was moving so fast, and everything was so crazy, she couldn’t help feeling a little freaked out by it all. I’ve got a lot of people here to support me, though, she reminded herself, and that was true. She had Kenda and Sam most of all, but she also had Sarah, and Sam’s family. She knew that with the support of them, and, most of all Gott’s guidance, she would be able to make it.
Emily stopped in front of the café doors and read the sign: Help Wanted.
Sam turned to look at her, grinning, as if realizing what she was thinking. “You know, it’s only a short walk from here to Kenda’s place.”
It would probably be nothing to me. She was used to walking everywhere in the community. They slipped into the café as Emily considered her options.
“Hi, how can I help you?” An elderly woman smiled as they made their way over to the counter.
“A tea for me, please,” Sam said.
“I’ll have the same.”
“Would you like anything else?” She punched their order into the machine as she looked at them.
“Jah, actually-” Emily stopped midway through speaking. She had meant to say yeah.
The woman looked at her curiously. “Rumspringa?”
Emily felt her cheeks burn. “No, actually… I’ve…” Emily stammered. She glanced at Sam for help, which brought the woman’s attention to the fact that Emily and Sam were holding hands.
“Ahhh, I see.” The elderly woman smiled as she went about getting the drinks ready. “My grandma was raised Amish. She left the community to be with the man she loved, too. She always said it was God’s plan for her. What can I help you with, sweetheart?”
“It’s about the help wanted sign in the doorway.” The woman nodded encouragingly as she made her way back to the counter where Sam and Emily stood. “I don’t have any experience, but I’m a quick learner and-”
“You’re hired.”
Emily’s jaw dropped. “I am? But-”
“It took three dozen places for my grandma to find a place that would give her a shot. You have to understand, back then it was even harder making the transition. English people didn’t trust an Amish, and to let them work at their store…” the women let out a low whistle. “My grandma almost gave up, but God kept her going, at least that’s what she always says. I’m not going to put you throu
gh what she went through. You said you’re a quick learner, so I’ll teach ya.”
Emily stood there, speechless. She felt a tear prick the corner of her eyes.
“Danka.” She stammered. “I mean, thank you. Thank you so much.”
The woman looked at her cheerfully. “I’ll expect you here Monday morning to go over the details, but until then I’ll let you and your boyfriend get back to your day.”
“Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much. I’ll be here Monday morning, right for opening. Thank you.”
She couldn’t say it enough as she turned around and headed for the door with Sam. As they made their way out, Emily took note of the time that they opened so she could make sure to be there beforehand. Her heart raced with excitement.
Gott, danka so much. I’ve always known you were watching over me but I never thought you would be this kind. I never thought you truly had a plan for me.
She had always thought she would live with her parents until she met a boy that she would marry, then she would move a few feet away from her parents where they would build a house and that would be that.
But now, here she was - an English girl. She looked over at Sam, who seemed happy just walking with her in silence. She wore makeup, and she had just been shopping, but most of all she had a job. Just like any English girl should.
She had a boyfriend that she knew was brought to her by God, and she knew that He was still watching over her. As hard as it had been to leave the community, and as hard as it would continue to be, she knew that it was the right choice.
“I was thinking, there’s a fair coming to town next week. Have you ever been to one?”
“No, I haven’t,” she admitted.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything. Consider it a date.”
Emily beamed. She would. A date with my boyfriend, she thought, reaching out and taking his hand. She gave him a wide smile as they headed back towards his truck.
“And maybe after that we can have a sleepover. At Kenda’s, of course, so we behave at least a little.”
“A date and a sleepover? I’m not sure I could wish for anything better.”
