by Dalia Wright
And it was sincere. Emily wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve this, but she was sure she couldn’t ask for anything better than what she had right here and right now.
The End
A Taste of Freedom
By: Elaine Young
Chapter 1
Anna swallowed nervously. She felt a strong sense of guilt creeping into the pit of her stomach; she had never lied to her parents before. But after getting one taste of the English world, she knew she had to go back, and her strict, traditional Amish parents would not let her.
“Mary’s great-aunt in Big Valley has fallen ill,” Anna began, trying her best to stick to the story that she and her best friend Mary had agreed on. “Mary is going to go up there to take care of her for a while, and she needs me to go with her to help with the work around the haus and tending to the animals.”
It wasn’t all a lie; Mary did have a great-aunt in Big Valley, but she was as healthy as ever. The real plan was for the girls to stop by and visit Mary’s great-aunt, but then continue on to spend the following weeks with Mary’s cousin, her husband, and their baby, who were not Amish and lived several miles from the central Pennsylvania Big Valley settlement.
Anna’s parents agreed to let her go with Mary for a while. “We trust you,” they said, which only made Anna feel more guilty for lying to her maemm and daed. She wondered if she would be better off cancelling on Mary and just staying at home, but she knew she’d regret that. Her one, short trip out of their Lancaster community to the English world with Mary and their other friends had opened her eyes to so many new things, and had left her wanting more.
Her parents had allowed that first trip; after all, most Amish teenagers traveled outside the community and explored the English world during rumspringa. Anna had spent the weekend with her girlfriends, spending two nights at a small hotel and spending the days exploring the city. They mostly just walked around, taking in all the sights and smells and exciting things they had never seen before: they rode the bus, ate at restaurants, and visited a small amusement park and went on all the rides. What was probably a typical weekend for an English teenager was a whole new experience for them.
Anna had left that weekend wanting to see so much more. She was fascinated by the buildings, cars, and all the technology in the English world, but what interested her most were the people - they seemed so smart, so quick. They always seemed to be busy, to be moving on to the next place and task.
Several of her friends began planning another weekend trip outside of their community, but when Anna had asked her parents, they had said no.
“You’ve had your rumspringa and you’ve gotten to explore,” her daed had said. “Now you must start to think about your adult life and responsibilities here. Besides,” he had added, “here, we are so much closer to Gott. Out in the English world, it seems all they do is try to distance themselves from Gott.” Her daed had shaken his head and walked away, and that had been the end of the conversation.
So when Mary had approached Anna with the news that her English cousins had invited her to stay with them, and that she wanted Anna to come with her, she couldn’t say no. Her small taste of the English world hadn’t satisfied her longing to explore, to see what was out there. And so they had come up with the story about Mary’s great-aunt while preparing for their trip to the English world.
The more Anna thought about their upcoming trip, the more the guilty feeling in her stomach from lying to her parents subsided, replaced by the feeling of overwhelming excitement.
Chapter 2
Four days later, after getting ahead of all of her chores around their haus, Anna said goodbye to her maemm, daed, and three younger siblings, and headed out with her old suitcase. They didn’t know, but despite her traditional Amish dress and kapp she currently wore, her suitcase held the two English outfits she had bought during her rumspringa weekend. Mary had told Anna that they could also borrow clothes from her cousin, who was in her late twenties, and hopefully buy more during their stay.
Even though they were spending the night with Mary’s great-aunt in Big Valley, another Amish community, the two girls changed into English clothes when they met each other in the corn field at the edge of town.
“I don’t want to get stared at on the train,” Mary confided, and Anna agreed. Her parents knew that she was taking the train; which they allowed because it was really the only convenient way to get to Big Valley. Anna had taken the train several times before with her familye to visit friends in other communities, and in their traditional Amish clothes, English people always stared. Anna’s parents never seemed to notice or care, but it made her feel self-conscious.
On the train, Mary told Anna more about her cousin, Emily. Emily had left the Amish community when she was around their age after applying and getting into college. At college, she had met her now-husband Will, who was English, and had never looked back. They now had a one-year-old baby, Avery.
“Do you think you’ll leave the community like Emily did?” Anna asked her friend, pondering the very same question herself.
“Nee, I doubt it,” said Mary. “I like getting out every once in a while, but I actually like my life, for the most part.”
Anna agreed. Despite her urge to explore the English world, Anna was content with her life too. She loved being close to her familye, and, like her daed said, she felt close to Gott in their community. They talked more about their trip, and what they would do. Mary said that Emily and Will both worked and would pay them to babysit Avery while they were away, but that they’d mostly be free to explore and do as they pleased.
The train soon arrived near Big Valley, and the girls got out. They took a cab to the community where Mary’s great-aunt lived, once again changing back into their traditional Amish dresses in a corn field where nobody else would see them.
Mary’s great-aunt Margaret was a kind old woman, and she immediately fed them and made sure they were comfortable in the small guest room in her haus. They spent the late afternoon and early evening helping her with chores and tending to her animals, which made Anna feel better that there was some truth to what she told her parents, although she still felt a little guilty and wished they could turn a blind eye to an extended rumspringa like Mary’s parents did. The girls ate dinner with Margaret and cleaned up afterward, then sat and talked with her while she knitted.
Anna and Mary went to bed early, and got an early start the next morning. They spent the first part of the day helping Margaret around the haus again, then said their goodbyes and got ready to head to Emily’s haus.
Chapter 3
That afternoon, Anna and Mary found themselves changing in the corn field yet again before walking out of the Big Valley Amish community and finding the right bus to take them to Emily and Will’s haus. Anna wore blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt with a gray sweater. Mary wore a bolder red and purple patterned blouse. Anna liked it, but was still getting used to the English way of dressing and had wanted to ease into it. Her shirt and sweater were comfortable, but the jeans were tight and restrictive. They seemed to be what everyone wore though, and Anna wondered to herself how they came into fashion.
On the bus, Anna suddenly felt nervous all over again. She realized they didn’t really have a plan, other than staying at Emily’s. She didn’t know what they would do there or how they would fit in. Anna was used to knowing exactly what she had to do each day. At home, she had a routine and stuck to it; out here in the English world, things seemed so open, and she didn’t know what they would do with all of their free time.
“Emily said that there are a lot of teenagers around our age in their neighborhood,” Mary said when Anna expressed her concerns. “We’ll just ‘hang out,’ as they say, and try to meet some of them. You’ve always been good at making friends.”
Anna smiled at Mary, trying to imagine talking to English teenagers and wondering what she would have in common with them. She worried there may not be much, and felt self-conscious. �
��I think,” she started, an idea slowly forming in her head, “that it would be easier for me if we didn’t tell anyone we’re Amish. I don’t want to be hounded with questions. And from what I’ve heard, a lot of English people aren’t too accepting of the Amish. They don’t really understand us, and think we’re strange.”
Mary nodded slowly, “I don’t know about strange, but I understand what you’re saying. I’d rather not spend our time explaining ourselves either. How about we just say we’re visiting from Harrisburg?”
Anna breathed a sigh of relief and agreed. She already felt like enough of an outsider without everyone knowing the extent to which she was out of her element.
The bus soon arrived at their stop, just three short blocks from Emily’s, and Mary followed the directions that her cousin had mailed to her. They found the right haus: a small but charming single-story painted white with navy blue trim. They walked up to the porch, and before they could even knock on the door, it flew open.
Emily, a petite brunette woman, greeted both Mary and Anna with a hug, much to Anna’s surprise; she wasn’t used to getting hugs even from her own familye. Emily wore a long, flowing casual dress with a bright, bold pattern like Mary’s blouse, and had on makeup that accentuated her blue eyes. She looked effortlessly stylish, like someone out of the clothing store catalogs Anna had seen in the English world. Behind her stood Will, a tall, handsome man who was holding their adorable baby girl, Avery. Will introduced himself to the girls with a warm handshake, and even Avery gave them a smile.
“I can’t believe my little cousin is all grown up!” Emily cried, squeezing Mary’s shoulders as she looked her up and down. “The last time I saw you, I was your age and you were just a little kid! How has it been so long?”
Mary and Emily continued to catch up as the couple showed the girls around their haus. “Here’s where you’ll be staying—don’t mind the decorations,” said Will with a smile, leading them into a pale pink room clearly decorated for Avery. “It’s Avery’s room, but since she still sleeps in our room, it’s our humble guest room for now,” Will explained, pointing out the two inflatable twin mattresses he had laid out for them.
Anna and Mary put down their suitcases and then came out to the living room, where they sat on the couch and chairs with Emily, Will, and Avery and chatted for a while. Emily and Will talked about Avery, their jobs, their home, and how they’d met at college.
“Now, I’m not going to try to persuade you to leave the Amish community,” said Emily, “but when I had my rumspringa about ten years ago now, I just knew I wanted to further my education so I could move out and become part of this world. I applied to colleges in secret, and for me, it all worked out. So if either of you has any questions about college, or jobs, or really anything, please ask me! I promise, no judgment either way.”
Anna liked Emily already. She seemed so smart, so motivated and successful. Anna had never really thought about furthering her education, but now began to wonder what college would be like.
Chapter 4
Anna and Mary spent the evening in with Emily, Will, and Avery. They had dinner together and then Emily and Will turned on the television. Anna watched for a little while, but it was overwhelming for her and made her feel a bit dizzy. She felt tired, and excused herself to go lie down and read in bed.
Although the air mattress was surprisingly comfortable, Anna felt restless lying there. She was tired, yet wide awake at the same time. Her head was still buzzing from the television and all the new experiences of the day. The sun had already set, but street lamps were on outside and the light came through the curtains. Anna knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep.
She walked back out to the living room. “I think I’m still too excited to sleep,” she admitted.
“I’m feeling the same way,” said Mary, getting up to stretch her legs.
“It’s still early,” Emily said, gesturing to the clock. It was nine, which was around when Anna usually went to sleep, but she didn’t say that. “Why don’t you two walk around the neighborhood? It’s a Saturday night, there’s bound to be a party going on around here somewhere,” she suggested. “Teenagers,” she said, and rolled her eyes jokingly.
Anna and Mary looked at each other. Anna suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline—they might actually meet some English teenagers, and maybe even attend a party! “Alright,” they both agreed at once.
They left on the clothes they were already wearing since Emily said they looked good, but Mary asked Emily if they could borrow her makeup, and she showed them where she kept it.
Anna applied a little bit of blush, and eyeliner and a light brown eyeshadow like Emily had been wearing, trying to apply it in the same way—not too much, but just enough to be noticeable and accentuate her features. Looking at herself in the mirror, between the English clothes, her blonde hair hanging loose instead of in her normal bun, and the newly applied makeup, Anna barely recognized herself. She felt embarrassed even thinking it about herself because she was always modest, but she actually looked quite pretty.
Mary had transformed as well; her wavy brown hair framed her delicate features, and she looked a lot like her cousin. The girls complimented each other, still smiling awkwardly at their reflections in the mirror, and headed out. Emily gave Mary her spare key and a piece of paper with her phone number on it, telling them to call her if they needed a ride or anything at all.
The night air felt warmer than it did back at home, as if all these people living closer together warmed it up. It was spring and still a bit cool though, and Anna wrapped her sweater tightly around her as they strolled down the streets, both girls quiet for a moment as they looked around, taking in the sights. Anna couldn’t get over how light it was, between the street lights and lights on inside homes. Most homes seemed to still have a light on in at least one of the rooms. Cars still passed by occasionally, going both up and down the street. Back at home, it was completely silent by this hour.
Anna and Mary couldn’t help but look into the lit up homes, pointing out the television sets to each other and giggling. It certainly was like a different world. As they were walking along, they suddenly heard two bicycles and accompanying voices behind them. The bikes slowed down as the riders noticed Anna and Mary walking, and then came to a stop just a few feet in front of them.
Two teenage boys who looked around the same age as Anna and Mary sat atop the bikes. “Are you looking for Jake’s house?” asked one of them.
“We’re not sure what we’re looking for,” said Mary. She looked at Anna. “We’re just got here from Harrisburg. We’re visiting my cousin.”
“Oh, cool,” said the other boy, “Harrisburg’s nice.” Anna felt a sense of relief that the boys had believed their story, even though they had no reason not to. “Well,” he added, “I’m sure you’re welcome at Jake’s party anyway. His parents are out of town and he’s having a bunch of people over.”
As he spoke, the boy’s face suddenly fell into the light cast by a street lamp, and Anna felt as though her heart stopped. He had straight, slightly long brown hair, stunning green eyes, tanned skin, and perfect features. He was by far the most handsome person Anna had ever seen. She suddenly couldn’t focus on anything else, until she felt Mary nudge her arm.
“Anna,” Mary was saying, “what do you think? Do you want to stop by?” Anna still couldn’t bring herself to speak. She felt like if she opened her mouth, she wouldn’t be able to properly form any words she was so dazzled, so instead she smiled and nodded at Mary while she tried to compose herself.
“Alright,” said Mary, starting to walk again, “we’ll go for a little while, if you’re sure Jake won’t mind.”
The boys rode their bikes slowly just alongside Anna and Mary. “I’m Tony, by the way,” said the boy who had first spoken.
“I’m Connor,” said the boy with the green eyes. He was looking right at Anna; she could feel those beautiful eyes gazing at her and giving her butterflies.
Luckily,
Mary spoke up first to introduce herself, giving Anna an extra second to catch her breath and say her name in a way that hopefully sounded normal.
They continued to walk and bike along for another block. Tony was talking about who he thought would be there, and assured the girls that he thought it would be a fun party, but Anna could hardly pay attention. She kept feeling Connor’s gaze and had to focus on remembering to breathe.
Even though Anna and Mary had never been to a party like this, they immediately knew Jake’s house when they saw it. Almost all of the rooms were lit up, and they could hear music and see people in the windows from outside. Several other teenagers stood on the lawn, a few of them holding cans and plastic cups.
“Here we are,” said Tony. He and Connor locked up their bikes, and Connor held the door open, nodding for Anna and Mary to walk in ahead of them.
Anna couldn’t believe it. Here she was at her first party, about to be surrounded by English teenagers for the first time, and they thought she was just like them. Normally, all of this alone would have thrilled her, but she couldn’t seem to think about anything else except for Connor and his piercing green eyes.
Chapter 5
Inside, the music was much louder, and it overwhelmed Anna with its loud beat. There were a bunch of people standing in the living room at the front of the haus, and Tony and Connor stopped to say hello and introduce Anna and Mary to the crowd.
“Anna and Mary are visiting from Harrisburg,” Tony was saying to one of the boys. “They were just strolling around with nowhere in particular to go, so we invited them in.”
“The more the merrier! Nice to meet you, I’m Jake,” the tall, thin boy said to them. “Just don’t trash the place!” he added, laughing.
“I knew you wouldn’t mind,” said Tony.
“Of course not,” said Jake. “There are drinks in the kitchen; help yourselves.”
