by Dalia Wright
Anna and Mary followed Tony and Connor further into the haus, into a large kitchen that was also filled with people.
Connor peered into the fridge, and then looked at the bottles on the counter. “Looks like it’s either beer, or a mixed drink,” he said, gesturing to the few half-full bottles of alcohol and soda.
Anna had never had alcohol before, but she knew that beer was a lot less strong than hard liquor. “I’ll have a beer, please,” she said, trying to sound natural, as if she’d been to parties like this before.
“Me too, please,” said Mary, looking at Anna with a knowing, excited smile.
Connor grabbed two cans of beer out of the fridge, handed them over, and then got two more for himself and Tony. The four of them opened their beers in the kitchen and took a sip. Anna didn’t like it, but didn’t hate it either. It just tasted like slightly dirty water to her. One positive side effect was that it seemed to calm her nerves a little, so she took another drink.
Tony was looking across the room. “Katie and Mark are here!” he exclaimed. “I’m going to say hi,” he gestured, welcoming Anna and Mary to come with him if they wanted, and Mary followed Tony into the living room to meet the couple who had just walked in.
Connor hung back, and Anna could feel his eyes on her again, suddenly aware that they were alone. Not really alone, since there were plenty of other people in the kitchen, but it felt as if nobody existed but the two of them.
After several moments passed, Connor asked, “Want to sit down?” and Anna nodded, following him into another smaller living room area with several chairs and couches. Some of the seats were already taken by other party-goers, who were sitting, talking, and sipping on drinks, but they found two open chairs next to each other.
Luckily, since Anna was still feeling tongue-tied, Connor spoke first. “Do you go to many parties in Harrisburg?” he asked her.
Anna shook her head. “No, not really,” she answered truthfully.
Connor smiled, his straight white teeth and small dimples making Anna feel weak in the knees. “Me neither,” he said. “Jake’s a good friend, but he’s crazy. I’d never throw a party at my place. My parents would kill me!”
Anna laughed along with him. “Mine too,” she said honestly. “They’re very strict.”
“So no parties at your place?” Connor asked, still smiling.
“No, definitely not!” Anna laughed just trying to imagine all these people in her parents’ home, drinking and listening to music.
From there, the conversation flowed surprisingly naturally. Connor talked about his friends and familye, and Anna found that she was able to do the same without revealing that she was Amish.
But then, Connor asked about school, and Anna began to feel nervous again. “You’re in high school, right?” he asked.
Anna nodded. Her guilt about lying started to creep back. In reality, most children in the Amish community, herself included, stopped attending school at age fourteen, so she hadn’t been to school at all in three years.
“What year are you?” Connor asked. Anna paused, but luckily he jumped in, “I’m a junior.”
Anna wasn’t sure what that meant, but it seemed to have to do with age, and she figured she was the same age as Connor. “Me too,” she said.
“Cool,” said Connor. He looked at her and leaned in a little, genuinely interested in learning more about her. Even through her nerves, Anna felt flattered by the attention, but still couldn’t believe that this handsome boy was so interested in her. “Do you know what you think you’ll do after graduation? College, work?” he asked her.
“I’m still not sure,” said Anna, glad to be able to answer honestly again. “Maybe work,” she said, and then, without even thinking about it, added, “but maybe college. Mary’s cousin, Emily, is going to show us a couple colleges around here while we visit.” She surprised herself with this answer. Before today, she never even thought about college. But since talking to Emily, and now Connor, it seemed like it could be a possibility.
Connor nodded, and again Anna felt relieved that her response had been believable. “Do you think you’ll stay in Pennsylvania for college?” he asked.
The thought of leaving the state had never even occurred to Anna. She couldn’t even imagine leaving her community, let alone the state. “Yes,” she responded, “I want to stay close to my family.”
“Me too,” said Connor. “I have friends that want to go across the country for college, but I’d like to stay pretty close by too.” He leaned in a little closer, and Anna wasn’t sure if it was due to the loud music or if he liked her. He took a sip of his beer, and Anna noticed that neither of them had drank very much; their cans were still mostly full. “But,” Connor said thoughtfully, “I’m not sure if I’ll go to college right after graduating high school, or if I’ll take a year off first. I’m probably going to apply to colleges next year, but I might want to take a year to work and travel in between.”
“Travel? Where would you want to go?” Anna asked, genuinely interested. She had never been anywhere more than a couple hours away from her Lancaster home.
“Everywhere,” said Connor, his face lighting up. “Europe, Asia,” he began to list the exotic-sounding, far-away places and what he wanted to see and do there. Anna felt mesmerized. She was completely out of her element, but felt comfortable around Connor, and mostly just fascinated by everything about him: his looks, his kindness and how easy he was to talk to, and now hearing all about his dreams for the future. They continued to talk, and Anna felt her imagination running wild, following Connor around the world.
Chapter 6
Anna didn’t notice the hours flying by until Mary was suddenly at her side. “People are starting to leave,” she said, gesturing toward the emptying rooms. “We should probably get going.”
Anna glanced up at Mary, then back at Connor. He looked noticeably sad as Anna nodded in agreement with Mary. “Wait,” he said as she stood up. “How long are you in town?”
“Probably two weeks,” said Anna. “It’s our, um, spring break.”
“Could I get your phone number?” asked Connor. “I’d love to spend more time together before you leave. I really enjoyed talking to you tonight.” Anna met his green eyes, and her heart warmed.
“I’d love that, too,” she said. “But as for my number, I don’t have a cell phone.”
“No cell phone?” Connor looked more surprised than she would have thought. Looking around the room, everyone did seem to have a cell phone, either held in their hands or peeking out of their pockets and purses. Anna hadn’t known they were this popular.
“Strict parents, remember?” Anna offered as an excuse, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. “But I can give you Emily’s phone number and her address. We’ll be at her house most of the time.”
Connor nodded happily, and pulled out his phone, where he typed in Emily’s number and address as Anna recited them to him. “I’ll find Tony,” he added afterwards. “We’ll ride home with you - it’s late.”
So, just as the four had arrived together, they left the party, Connor and Tony riding their bikes slowly alongside Anna and Mary all the way to Emily’s haus.
“I live just a couple blocks away,” said Connor, his green eyes sparkling contentedly. “If you don’t mind, I’ll just stop by tomorrow.”
“I’d love that,” said Anna, and then blushed upon realizing that was the second time she’d said that. She hoped Connor didn’t notice her use of the word “love.”
With that, the four said their goodnights and parted ways. Anna and Mary both felt sleepy all of the sudden; after all, it was just past midnight, and Anna fell immediately into a deep, happy sleep on her air mattress.
Chapter 7
The next morning, it was Sunday. Anna actually found herself missing her community’s Sunday morning church service. She got out the small Bible she had brought in her suitcase and read a couple passages while she waited for Mary to wake up.
She
soon did, and rolled over on her mattress to face Anna. Mary immediately demanded to know everything about the night before: Anna’s conversation with Connor, her feelings towards him, and what she thought they were going to do when he came over. Neither of the girls had been on a real date before, so just the prospect of Anna going on one was thrilling to them. They talked and giggled, and Anna realized she hadn’t felt so spirited in a long time.
They eventually got up, and spent the earlier part of the day taking care of Avery while Emily and Will ran some errands and did some yard-work.
It was later that afternoon when they heard a knock on the door. Anna jumped up, excited and nervous at the same time, her heart pounding in her chest. Sure enough, it was Connor standing on Emily’s porch.
“Hi, Anna,” he said, smiling. He somehow looked even more perfect than Anna remembered. His tanned skin seemed to glow in the sun, and the sun glinted off his light brown hair. “I was wondering, if you’re not already busy right now, if you’d want to go see a movie with me. Or, if you are busy, maybe we can go tomorrow.” He seemed a little bit nervous too, which Anna found endearing and comforting.
“I’m not doing anything now,” she smiled back at him, and then ran back inside to get her sweater and purse, which she’d bought during her other trip into the English world and held a small amount of money. Connor said hello to Mary and met Emily, Will, and Avery, who had all gathered in the entryway now looking excited.
Connor drove them in his car to the movie theater. The only cars that Anna had ever been in were a couple of cabs, but she tried to act natural, as if she rode in a car all the time. At the theater, she said she didn’t care what they saw, so Connor chose a comedy. Anna didn’t understand most of the jokes in the movie, but she still enjoyed it because it gave her the excuse to sit next to Connor for nearly two hours, occasionally stealing glances at him while he smiled, laughed, and sometimes was glancing back at her. At one point in the movie, he even reached down and gave Anna’s hand a gentle squeeze. Anna squeezed back, leaving her hand in his. She had never held hands with a boy before, and she felt herself blush happily in the dark theater.
After the movie ended, Connor took Anna to a small, fast food burger place, where they ate delicious, greasy burgers and fries and talked some more. Even without revealing that she was Amish, the conversation still flowed, and Anna found herself admitting to certain things about her background: she didn’t know how to drive, she never ate fast food, and she hadn’t seen many movies. Connor seemed surprised by some of these facts, so Anna shared more about what she liked to do: reading, writing, cooking, sewing, and taking care of children and animals. She hoped she came across as normal, and based on Connor’s reaction, she thought she was still pulling it off. She felt pleased with herself for being able to fit into the English world, although she wasn’t quite sure why this was an accomplishment.
Eventually, Connor drove Anna back to Emily’s house. He walked her up to the door, and before she could open it, he gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. Anna felt herself blush, and she said goodnight and hurried inside before breaking into a huge smile.
Chapter 8
As the days passed by, Connor began coming to Emily’s haus every day, where Anna would meet him and they’d go out to grab food or just walk or drive around. Connor was in school; it wasn’t his spring break for a few more weeks, and so it was always the late afternoon when he came over. Anna spent her days taking care of Avery and exploring the town with Mary until Connor came over. She and Mary went shopping and bought more English outfits with the money Emily gave them for babysitting Avery. Although Anna still missed her familye and church, she was beginning to feel more at ease in the English world.
Anna always looked forward to hearing Connor’s knock on the door on those weekday afternoons. She didn’t know if things could go anywhere serious with Connor, since she still planned on returning home after a couple weeks, but she was enjoying every moment with him so much that she didn’t overthink it.
That Friday afternoon, Anna was sitting outside with Avery and Mary when Emily came out through the sliding back door. “Oh, there you are,” she said. “Connor got here at the same time I came home from work. I let him in, but told him you were probably in your room.”
Anna stood to go inside, but Connor was already at the back door, having also figured out where Anna must be. “There you are,” he said too. Anna laughed, and they agreed to go on a walk around the neighborhood and through the park.
On their walk though, Connor seemed a little different than usual; quieter and not quite as bubbly. Anna asked him what was wrong, and he responded that it was nothing; he’d just had a difficult test at school and he was thinking about it. As they continued their walk, he seemed to cheer up, and Anna stopped worrying about it.
Connor had dinner at Emily’s haus with the whole familye that night, and it was a lot of fun. He got along with Mary, Emily, and Will really well, and was great with Avery, Anna noted. She had asked Emily and Will beforehand not to mention anything about her and Mary being Amish, but luckily it never even came up. Part of Anna wanted to open up to Connor about it, but she decided against it. She was having so much fun with him and wouldn’t be able to bear it if he judged her or didn’t want to see her anymore after finding out she was Amish. She didn’t think he would be like that, but she wasn’t completely sure, and didn’t want to risk it.
Connor stayed and chatted with everyone after dinner, and even helped clean up. As it got later, he excused himself, saying that his parents wanted him home before dark. Anna walked him to the door. This time, he surprised her with a longer, more intimate embrace. “I really like you, Anna,” he said softly into her ear.
“I really like you, too,” she said back, happiness overflowing in her body.
Connor pulled back slightly to look Anna in the eyes, and then he leaned his face in toward hers. She leaned in slightly to meet him, and they kissed, on the lips this time. Connor’s lips and mouth felt surprisingly soft against hers, and the kiss went on passionately for a few moments that seemed to stand still in time.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Connor whispered when he finally brought himself to pull away from Anna. She was still blissfully stunned from the kiss, which she knew she’d replay in her head again and again. She managed to whisper a quiet “goodnight” as Connor walked slowly backwards so that he was still facing Anna, and then got in his car and drove off.
Chapter 9
The next day was a Saturday, and since Emily didn’t have work, she had agreed to take Anna and Mary to see a couple of the colleges nearby. Anna had asked her about college several times that week, and Emily could tell that she was curious, so insisted they go on at least one tour.
Mary looked a bit bored during the college tour, but Anna was fascinated. Between the size of the lecture halls, dormitories, and libraries, and the range of subjects that students studied, and number of activities available for them to participate in, Anna felt like she was in a whole new world altogether. She felt similarly to when she’d talked to Connor at the party the first night meeting him—that the world was huge and full of possibilities that she’d never previously imagined.
In Emily’s car on the ride home, Anna sat in the passenger seat, asking her more questions about her own experience. “How did you even know how to apply? What did you do? I wouldn’t even know where to start.” She thought of all the students they’d seen, walking around the campus so confidently, secure in their intelligence. She didn’t know if she could ever be like that.
“It wasn’t easy,” Emily admitted, “but I’d made a few older friends during my rumspringa. I told my parents that I got a job at a small market, but really I began sneaking out of the community every day to go to the library. I checked out dozens of books, many to help me study for a test called the GRE, and sometimes my English friends would meet me and help me study and complete my applications. The process was challenging, but I think it actually w
orked in my favor that I had such a unique personal statement. My essay ended up earning me a full-ride scholarship, which is the only way it would have even been possible for me to go. It all feels like so long ago now,” Emily said, smiling, “but I’m so glad I did it.”
Anna thought it over on the rest of the ride back to Emily’s. She had loved her school, and continued to read and write a lot more than any of her friends. Going to college seemed like a great way to find, and get into, any career she wanted, although she wasn’t sure what that would be yet. But she didn’t know if she could leave her familye. She would miss them so much, and she feared that if she left the Amish community, she would never be welcomed back.
Later that evening, Connor came by Emily’s haus again. The weather was warming up and it was shaping up to be the first warm, spring night, so Anna and Connor sat outside together drinking lemonade and eating cookies that Anna and Mary had baked after Connor went home the previous night.
They were absorbed in conversation as usual, and Anna almost didn’t notice Connor’s phone light up on his chair when he got up to use the restroom. The flash of light just caught the corner of her eye, and she couldn’t help but to glance at it.
It was a text message from someone named Katie, and it looked like a long message. It faded back to the black phone screen before Anna had a chance to read it, but she noticed a couple of smiley faces in the message. Anna’s stomach churned. Something didn’t feel right, and she felt tempted to press a button on the phone to light it up again and read the message. But just then, Connor came back outside and sat down. He pressed a button, glanced at the screen, but quickly put it into his pocket.
Anna sat, waiting for him to explain or at least address the text message, but he didn’t; he just launched right back into their conversation. Not wanting to seem paranoid, Anna tried to forget about the message and just go back to enjoying her time with Connor, but it bothered her for the rest of the night up until he left.
