Designed to Death

by Christina Freeburn

  “I don’t plan on getting caught.” Darlene flipped down the visor and peered intently into the small mirror.

  My stomach tightened and I stared straight ahead, fighting the urge to look behind me and see what troubled Darlene. Knowing my luck, it was Ted, or worse, my grandmothers.

  They’d warned me to stay out of this mess and couldn’t fathom why I’d help Darlene. They understood allowing a friend to talk me into investigating a murder to clear their name, quite different when it was the person who got on my last nerve. I knew even pulling out it was the “Christian thing” to help a neighbor in need wouldn’t sway them away from anger.

  Frowning, Darlene ran a finger over and under her mouth. She snapped the visor up. “All ready. Let’s go.”

  “Really, a lipstick check?”

  “One must always look their best.” Darlene sent a critical appraisal my way. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.”

  “We’re breaking and entering, not meeting the man of our dreams.” I thrust open the passenger side door.

  Stay in the car. The voice of reason screeched at me. This was going to go bad. I felt it in my bones and stomach. A headache sprouted and a tiny voice in my head kept repeating frenemy over and over.

  I wasn’t quite sure if the voice meant Darlene or myself.

  “One never knows when the man of their dreams will show himself.” Darlene adjusted the drape of her matching black tunic.

  I shuddered and slunk out of the car, heading toward Belinda’s house. I did not want the man of my dreams—not that I really had one—showing up when I was participating in a misdemeanor at the best, or a felony at the worst.

  I glanced around and tiptoed over to the side of the house, figuring we’d go through the back door. I patted my pocket. I sure hoped a gift card worked. I didn’t bring a credit card just in case I accidently dropped it.

  Darlene clopped straight up to the front door in her designer high-heeled boots, instead of quietly making her way to the back of the house like I planned. Did she not watch any crime shows?

  “Psst...” I hissed. I jerked my thumb down the small strip of land between Belinda’s house and her neighbors. “The back.”

  Darlene stuck her hand into her the pocket of her figure defining black coat and pulled out a set of keys. The strap of her purse slipped and she yanked it back up. “I don’t have a key for the back door. I have one for the front.”

  I stomped over to Darlene. My sneakers squished across the damp grass. “Thanks for telling me.”

  Darlene shrugged and smiled. “It seemed mean to ruin your fun. Sneaking around suits you.”

  I opened my mouth then shut it. I wanted to ask what she meant, but really didn’t want to know the inner workings of Darlene’s mind.

  A tingling sensation danced over my head and nerves, feeling like little spiders were running all over me. I rubbed my hands over my arms.

  Maybe I wasn’t doing such a good thing proving Darlene innocent. There was something extremely calculating and manipulative about the woman.

  I debated quitting right then and there, but unfortunately my curiosity got the better of me. And I was already there.

  Darlene opened the door and motioned for me to enter.

  I stepped inside. Darlene hit a switch and the area was bathed in soft lavender light. My eyebrows shot up. Turning, I stared at Darlene.

  “Belinda liked color.”

  No kidding.

  The living room looked like a box of sixty-four crayons exploded. Oranges, pinks, reds, blues, and greens of all different hues filled the room. The red couch had a white, pink, and purple cushion. Green accent pillows stood like soldiers. The table lamps were a combination of sea blues and greens. The area rug was a mix of orange and dark brown shades, quite tasteful considering the other items in the room.

  “Our cover is we came to get a fondue set,” Darlene said.

  “We did some breaking and entering to take your cousin’s fondue set.”

  Darlene looked at me like I was stupid. Which at this moment, I agreed with. Something was really off with my reasoning skills to have agreed to this plan. What in the world did we expect to find—the murder weapon with fingerprints all over it, or a note from the killer confessing their crime?

  I needed to spend more time on scrapbooking than sleuthing. Poor Grandma Cheryl would be getting an earful from Hope for buying me the Agatha Christie collection for my birthday.

  “I have a key so we entered lawfully.” Darlene dropped the aforementioned item back into her coat pocket. “No breaking. Just entering.”

  I’m sure Ted would have a different opinion of our entry. Darlene was right though. She had a key. She used it. If Ted didn’t want anyone coming in, he should’ve stationed a guard at the house.

  Taking in a deep breath, I kept repeating all the good reasons we weren’t committing a crime in my head. The dining room and kitchen were also vivid splashes of color. My poor eyes hurt along with my brain. How in the world did Belinda create in this area? I couldn’t imagine being able to concentrate or tell one color from the next with the sensory overload surrounding me.

  “I’m going to check Belinda’s office and craft room. You can see if anything seems amiss in her bedroom.”

  “How would I know what’s amiss? How about I check the computer files and you search her bedroom. You know her better.” I crossed my arms. “Or we could stick together and I’ll tell you my observations.”

  I wanted to make sure she wasn’t putting things into the room. That large purse made me suspicious. So far, everything she needed she carried in her pockets. I wanted to know what the purse held.

  “Because it will take too long. Use your cell phone and take pictures, we can stop for a bite on the way back to Scrap This and talk about them then.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t think so. We’re partners so we stick together.”

  Darlene’s expression matched mine. “You don’t trust me.”

  “Nope.”

  Darlene drew back. A smile brightened her face all of a sudden. “I like that. Brutal honesty. Well we’re at an impasse here. We need to cover as much ground as possible, and you’re afraid I’m up to no good.”

  “I know you’re up to no good. I’m just not sure if your no good is going to come back and smack me or someone else.”

  “For goodness sake, why would I get you in trouble?”

  “You don’t like me.”

  “I need you. If a person is going to turn on their partner, they at least wait until they have no use for them.”

  Gee, that comforted me.

  “So how about we get at it before the police arrive.” Darlene headed up the stairs.

  “I thought you said we wouldn’t get caught.”

  “I figured we’d be half way done by now. Sooner or later the McGregors across the street will start a fight.”

  “How do you know?” I dashed up the stairs and into the room Darlene pointed at.

  “Because it’s Thursday night poker. A fight always breaks out during Thursday night poker.”

  “Then maybe we should’ve picked another day.”

  “Friday, I conduct an online chat with other life artists.”

  Well, one couldn’t miss that.

  “Wednesday is Bunco. I do believe your grandmothers and my mother have started attending.”

  “Your mother knows what we’re up to.”

  “But your grandmothers don’t. Thursday is my mother’s cooking class with Chef Lorenzo. She never misses a class of his. If she wasn’t busy, my mother would’ve invited herself and them to come over and help.”

  Then I’m glad we picked today. “Okay. I’ll look in here.”

  “Remember anything amiss let me know.” Darlene headed down the hall.

  Like I’d know. I eased into the room, feeling a little uncomfortable being in a dead woman’s bedroom. I knew Belinda, but hadn’t been friends with her. It was strange entering into her private retreat
space.

  I stepped into the room and blinked. I felt disoriented with the mix of colors and patterns. Pink and green plaid comforter. White and red polka dotted curtains. I settled my gaze on the cherry wood hardwood floor. Finally, some peace and calm for my eyes. I drew in a deep breath.

  A stale odor filled my nose and trickled into my senses and memory. Wait. Old donuts and a sweet flower fragrance. Like in my house.

  Fear trailed up and down my spine. There was no way Belinda was involved in what happened at my house. Whoever had been at my place had also been here looking for something.

  I dropped onto my hands and knees and lifted up the bed skirt. Dust bunnies and a pair of old moccasins greeted me. I crawled over to the bedside table. An iPod docking station doubling as a digital clock took up most of the surface, a small lamp took up the rest.

  Draped over the knob of the bedside lamp was a gold necklace, four hearts formed a four-leaf clover. I opened up the lone drawer. Inside were two paperback mystery novels, a collection of beaded bookmarks, and a full bottle of a sleeping aid. A chain snaked out from under one of the books.

  Carefully, I withdrew it. In my hand was Belinda’s beloved diva necklace. If Belinda had the necklace, why had she gone to the store to search for it? Unless this wasn’t the necklace she wanted back. The heart necklace. Did Belinda give up this necklace in order to save one more precious to her?

  Had the other necklace been a milestone gift from her mother, or maybe her absentee father? I’d need to take a closer look at it. I placed the diva necklace back into the drawer and closed it. Darlene didn’t need to know about the find. If anyone deserved the memento, it was Hazel.

  The party across the street had grown rowdier. I tugged open the closet door. Belinda hung her clothes by theme and color. Scrapbooking themed shirts and pants. Next came her cute animal collection. She followed it up with cruise wear and almost shoved into the corner was her holiday attire.

  My hand brushed against a silk fabric. Interesting. Everything else was made from cotton or polyester. I pushed the holiday wear into the cruise clothing and shoved the whole passel of them into the animal section.

  Hidden in the dark recess of her closet were simple and trendy dresses, blouses and pants. A few still had price tags hanging off of them. I burrowed further into the closet and blushed. Belinda liked her nightwear racy.

  I do believe Belinda had herself a man.

  I snapped a couple of pictures with my cell phone then foraged my way out of the closet. “Darlene, there’s something in here you need to see.”

  Lights bounced past the slats covering the bedroom window. Red rotating lights.

  This was not good. Not good at all.

  I ran out of the room. “The cops.”

  Darlene poked her head out of the office. “I’m sure it’s about the noisy party across the street. Not everything is about you.”

  About me? The woman who screeched about any possibility of a loop hole in the small contests the store ran, the woman who insisted she get dibs for the “choice location” at crops even when she showed up late, the woman who only wanted to solve her cousin’s murder to clear her name, insinuated I was self-centered?

  I clenched my hands. I was not a violent person. At all. Darlene made me reconsider the stance. I went back into the bedroom and lifted a corner of the blinds. The red light bounced off the walls. A cruiser was parked in Belinda’s driveway. The driver’s door opened.

  Why did I ever listen to Darlene? Because you allow guilt rather than common sense and self-preservation to rule your brain.

  “They’re here.” I called out.

  “Just keep calm. I have this under control.” Darlene flicked her hair over her shoulder and adjusted the strap of her purse. She flounced down the stairs.

  And because I had no sense of self-preservation, I followed after her. This wasn’t going to go well. If Darlene handled this situation in the same manner she did any disappointment or disagreement while shopping or cropping at Scrap This, we’d both wind up in jail.

  Would I be better off calling my grandmothers or Steve? Marilyn owed me. I got her out of jail, seemed fair for her to do the same for me.

  The door banged open.

  “What are you two doing here?” With gun drawn, Detective Ted Roget stepped into the house.

  I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Of all the police officers to explain this to, it would be Ted.

  “Picking up something I need for a party,” Darlene said.

  “Really, a party?” Ted’s eyes narrowed and he looked Darlene and I up and down, very slowly and suspiciously. He holstered the gun. “Interesting choice of outfits. All black.”

  Darlene straightened her posture and stared back at Ted. I wanted to squeeze my eyes closed, and cover my mouth and ears. I couldn’t quite pull off the see-hear-speak-no-evil stance by myself.

  “It’s a costume party.” Darlene emphasized the word costume and threw a look at Ted that spoke of his lack of intelligence.

  I blocked a moan from escaping. Of all people, why was Darlene challenging Ted? Okay, I did have my share of words with the man but we kind-of-sort-of got along, and I had been in the right in those situations. There was no way Darlene and I could pass this off as a good choice.

  Costume party or not.

  “You expect me to believe you’re having a costume party with only two guests?” Ted eyed us suspiciously. “In Ms. Watson’s home?”

  Darlene licked her lips, squared her shoulders, and thrust out a hip. I knew this position. She was readying to start one of her verbal beat-downs.

  I wanted to launch a sidekick at Darlene, but that would really give us away. The neck of the black long sleeved shirt I wore seemed to tighten the longer Ted stared, and Darlene prepared.

  I eyed the door. Could I make a break for it?

  Ted focused those angry eyes on me and shook his head once. I needed to work on my poker face.

  “Of course not.” Darlene huffed at him. “There are four people attending. My mother, my aunt Hazel, Faith and I.”

  “How unknowing of me.” Ted rested his hands near his gun and handcuffs. He really had a thing for placing his hands at those locations of his belt. “That’s quite an unusual guest list.”

  “We like to keep it to a foursome and with Belinda gone...” Darlene trailed off and drew in a deep breath.

  “You decided to include Faith.”

  “Of course I did. My mother said it was the polite thing to do considering the little scandal I created at the store.” Darlene rolled her eyes as she emphasized the word scandal.

  “I’m sure Faith appreciated the invite.” Ted’s eyebrows shot up and he stared at me, almost willing me to say something.

  I pressed my lips together and nodded.

  “Neither of you thought it was a horrible idea to come into the house of a murder victim.”

  “That would be a bad idea,” Darlene said. “But I was coming into the house of my cousin.”

  Ted rolled his eyes. “Well, forgive me. I didn’t know there was a difference.”

  “I forgive you.” Darlene bestowed a smile on him and hefted her purse strap back onto her shoulder. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just get my fondue set and we’ll be on our way.”

  “I don’t think so.” Ted maneuvered around us and stood in front of the kitchen entryway.

  “Come on, Darlene.” I grabbed hold of her arm and tugged. “We’re going to be late. We’ll just grab some frozen appetizers.”

  “Frozen!” Darlene squealed and placed a hand against her heart. “I do not serve frozen food. How dare you accuse me of such a thing!”

  I drew back and held up my hands. “Didn’t know it’d be an insult.”

  Ted stepped between us. “Ladies, ladies. Let’s remain civil.”

  “Of course you’d take Faith’s side.” Darlene pivoted sharply, directing herself toward the kitchen. She charged forward.

  Ted grabbed hold of her ar
m.

  “Darlene, don’t...” I started to warn her to listen to Ted, and then tried changing it when the large bag slipped down her shoulder. Too late.

  Darlene yanked away from Ted. The bag slipped, tipped over, and items rained from her purse onto the floor. Lipsticks, pens, a glue gun, glue sticks, Chap Stick in different flavors, beads, scrapbook gems, paperclips, eyeliners. I watched in amazement at the variety of make-up and scrapbook supplies housed in her bag scattered across the floor.

  What didn’t the woman carry in her purse? If she had wanted to hurt, maim or kill a person, all she needed to do was whack them in the head with the oversized quilted bag.

  Ted released Darlene’s arm and gaped at the items rolling around on the floor. Well, at least someone else besides me would claim the title of most annoying woman in Eden.

  “Now see what you made me do.” Darlene released a huff of air. She slowly lowered herself to the ground and rounded up a few of her items, placing them back into her purse.

  I dropped down and shoveled things into the cavernous bag.

  “Is it really necessary to carry so much?” Ted asked as he joined us in the quest of returning Darlene’s items back into their rightful place.

  “I will not dignify that question with a response.”

  I kept to myself that what she said was a response.

  Sighing, Darlene laid flat on the floor, and with her arm outstretched, wiggled her way to the couch. “You would think with this rug that my lipstick wouldn’t find its way all the way under the couch.”

  One would also think that when going on a “search and seizure” mission, they’d take only the essentials. Bringing an empty bag made sense so you could fill it up, but a full one was not very bright.

  Darlene stood and dusted off her pants. I scanned the area, looking for any more of Darlene’s runaway items. Nothing.

  Ted also rose and shot a glare at Darlene and a why-do-you-torment-me glance at me. I stopped myself from responding with even a shrug. I had no idea why I was being blamed for this mess. I was the tagalong, not the brains behind this ill-fated mission.

  “Do you have everything?” Ted asked, the weariness evident in his voice.

  Darlene opened her purse, stuck her hand, and part of her head, inside the bag and rooted around. “Everything is accounted for.”