Finger Bang

by Jade C. Jamison

  She didn’t even have to use the stereo on the bookshelf beside the television to drown her roommates out.

  But as she sat there, it felt too quiet. She was used to music playing while she studied. Rachel had purchased the living room stereo a year earlier for a party she’d wanted to throw and hadn’t used it much since. They would play the local hard rock station on it when they were doing a group house cleaning, but otherwise they would play music in their rooms. Rachel hadn’t spent much on it, but it could play CDs and it also had an iPod dock, so it was versatile, and Kaylee decided to fetch her iPod out of her room so she could play music and drown out the quiet that she was, oddly enough, finding more distracting than the noise she had grown used to.

  She was returning to the living room when the doorbell rang. She knew that whoever was at the door was there for one of her three roommates. No one ever came for her uninvited, so she’d just have to shoo them off and then she could return to studying.

  When she answered the door, it was Blaze. He caught her off guard with his striking good looks, but his knowing smile and tanned face made her smile back. She blinked twice, took a deep breath, and, finding her voice, said, “Hi, Blaze. Rachel won’t be back till sometime tomorrow.”

  His voice was lower in pitch than usual when he said, “I’m not here to see Rachel.”

  Kaylee probably should have hesitated but she didn’t. “Nobody’s here except me.”

  “I know.” Blaze opened the screen door so they stood with no barriers. It was then that Kaylee noticed he had a giant pillow and yoga mat under one of his arms, and a plastic bag dangled from that hand. “I’m here to see you.”

  Kaylee’s insides turned to liquid in a flash. While Blaze had been her top fantasy man for close to two years, she would have never expected him to say that. Her voice was tiny when she answered. “Me? Why?”

  “All your roommates have left for their trip to Boulder where they are going to have mindful and meaningful revelations all centered around orgasmic meditation…and I promised to be a non-stranger who’d help you achieve yours.”

  He was completely deadpan. That was what threw Kaylee off the most. And the thought of it, while titillating, was horrifying. “I never agreed to that.”

  But Blaze laid on the charm. “Then can I at least come in and talk?”

  Kaylee couldn’t see any harm in that.

  Chapter Three

  FOOT IN THE door—that was all he needed. Even if nothing else happened, Blaze would at least be able to talk with Kaylee and get to know her better. This was his in.

  He’d always liked Kaylee, but she’d seemed shy or timid or…icy. He wasn’t sure what her deal was, exactly, but she was gorgeous and a little mysterious, and he’d never been able to get close. So even if he didn’t get to touch her tonight, at least he could lay the groundwork for possibilities in the future.

  He walked through the door and followed her to the living room. Once there, she closed the textbook that was sitting open on the couch and asked if she could get him something to drink.

  “Nah. I’m good. Besides, I have something here.” He hoped she’d ask what was in the bag. He set it down on the couch while placing the oversized pillow and yoga mat on the coffee table. He raised his eyebrows and grinned, hoping his charm would lure her in. Then again, with Kaylee, he didn’t dare take a chance that she’d be reluctant to ask, so he’d introduce the subject himself. She could shoot him down, and then he’d know what kind of an uphill battle this would be. “Wanna know what’s in the bag?”

  She glanced down at the plastic Walmart sack and said, “Sure.”

  Ah. This was a little easier than he’d expected…so far. He didn’t dare get lax now. “Sit down and I’ll show you.”

  A half smile crossed her face and she sat down without saying a word. He sat next to her and pulled the bag close to him. Actually, it was two bags together to protect from tearing, because there was one thing in there that was heavy. “Ready?” She nodded, and he saw a glimmer in her eyes. That was good. She could potentially take issue with any one of the items, so he was going to take them out one at a time.

  First, the bottle of red wine. He slid it out of the bag and placed it on the coffee table. “Do you have glasses?”

  She blinked. “Uh, yeah, but I can’t drink tonight. I have class in the morning.”

  He grinned. “Just one glass. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your academic progress.”

  She considered him for a moment, half a frown on her face, and then she stood up and started walking to the kitchen. He hadn’t meant for her to get them right this second, but he wasn’t going to stop her, because her reaction—thus far—was positive. He could only hope she was this receptive to everything else. He opened the wine, frowning because she’d know it was a cheap piece of shit when she saw there was no cork, just a lid, but who cared? He wasn’t worldly enough to give two shits about what he drank. As long as it tasted okay and he could get a buzz, it was good enough.

  She came back with two regular glasses just as he’d finished removing the lid. Well, not using wine glasses indicated that she might not turn her nose up at the crappy wine. He smiled and poured some in each glass while she sat down.

  He held his glass toward her. “Cheers.” She smiled, touched her glass to his, and then took a sip. She shuddered and grimaced. “Yeah, I know it’s not the best.”

  “No, that’s not it. I’m just not much of a drinker.” He smirked but didn’t say a word. “So what else is in your bag?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Sure you wanna know?”

  No hesitation. “Yes.”

  Oh, God. Any of the remaining items could send her skittering to her room, locking the door behind her. He tried to go with the least intimidating item, so he pulled out a black latex glove. He’d asked DJ, his friend who worked at a tattoo shop downtown, if he could have one. Blaze laid it on his thigh.

  “What’s that for?”

  “Are you sure you wanna know?”

  “Yes!”

  He cleared his throat and took another sip of wine. “After the other night, I did some research.”

  “About what?”

  “OM. I thought you were gonna let me try, so I looked up how to do it officially.”

  Her cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink. “Oh.”

  Well, she’d already asked, so he figured he might as well drive forward. He pulled out a tube of KY. “So…the woman takes off her pants. Just her pants. She gets comfortable.” He indicated the pillow he’d placed on the coffee table. “I know we should have a couple pillows, but that’s all I got. Oh, and the yoga mat you lay on the floor. Anyway, the guy—or it could be a girl, I guess—puts on the glove and lubes up. There’s an actual technique too. You start stroking—”

  “Uh, no, that’s okay. I don’t need the gruesome details.”

  “Okay, yeah, so both people focus on creating a meaningful experience.”

  She nodded. “So what’s the wine for?”

  “I thought it might help you relax.” The bag made a crinkling noise as he found the last two items. In his hand were a little brass pipe and a sandwich bag with marijuana. “Or some weed if you’d prefer.” Her eyes grew wide. “Hey, it’s legal now.”

  She shook her head. “No, thanks.” She took another sip of the wine, and Blaze could tell she was trying hard not to wince at the taste. “You know, you went to an awful lot of trouble…and I want you to know I appreciate it, but I’m going to have to pass.”

  He shrugged. “No problem. We can just hang out, maybe watch a movie or something.” Blaze wouldn’t tell Kaylee, but he already considered the night a success. She’d invited him in, closed her textbook, and was trying to have a drink with him. If the night continued along the same path, he might even get a good night kiss out of the whole deal. He wouldn’t hold his breath, but he considered the evening solid progress by this point, no matter how it ended.

  * * *

  Kaylee had b
een laughing almost nonstop for the past several minutes. They’d settled on The Hangover, a movie she’d found funny anyway, but Blaze’s comments—and the help from other sources—made it even funnier.

  She hadn’t said a word when she’d felt his arm above her shoulders on the couch and had even settled in against him a bit when he let his arm drop down. That was nice. Blaze felt so natural, so right to her…but she would never say that out loud.

  She finished the glass of wine and discovered it was a bit more potent than she’d expected. It wasn’t too bad, but she could feel its effects. And, perhaps, it contributed to her lack of good judgment when she agreed to a puff or two off the pipe.

  It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was glancing through her iPod at the stereo per Blaze’s suggestion, that she felt herself trying to think clearly. What exactly had she just agreed to?

  She thought back, trying to remember. After the pot, Blaze had been rubbing her shoulders, telling her she was really tense. He said he wanted her to relax. “But I am relaxed,” she’d insisted, giggling.

  His hands still on her shoulders, he brought his lips close to her ear and said, “This is the last time I will say anything, but we can give OM a try, see what you think.”

  She whipped around and looked at him, ready to tell him to stop bringing it up already, but the look in his eyes made her hesitate. Holy crap. He was sexier than ever but looked so sincere…and that look was for her. Blaze Donahue was looking at her that way. It gave her shivers. Before she could answer, he held up his hands and said, “No strings attached.” What did that mean exactly? Was he telling her that he would get her off, but she was under no obligation to feel that there was anything else between them? That didn’t help.

  No, actually, it did, even in her hyper-relaxed state. If doing this made her feel so uncomfortable that she never wanted to see him again, she could tell him so and throw his words back at him. She had simply been thinking of past experiences when she’d feel attached to a guy after sex, but this entire scenario was designed to prevent that. There would be no kissing, no snuggling, none of the ritualistic mating practices designed to create a coupling in every sense of the word.

  Anything awkward would be left in this night forever. She could live with that, high or not.

  So he’d moved the coffee table away from the couch, up against the wall and out of the way, and laid out the yoga mat on the floor. Then he placed the large pillow on one side, grabbing a couple of the smaller couch pillows and placing them on the other side. He then told her about how she was supposed to lie down in some weird fashion but he had another idea that he thought would make her more comfortable. He walked over to the stereo and told her he was going to find the station that played classical-type music. She jumped up and said, “If you want me relaxed, that won’t do it. No way. I need real music.”

  He grinned as she walked over. “Like what?”

  “Rock. Classical music is okay, but it won’t help me relax. I need something I’m used to listening to.”

  “Wanting to headbang won’t be relaxing, Kaylee.”

  “I have to have something that will work.”

  He chuckled and stepped back and poured more wine in their glasses. Kaylee had already moved back to water after the first glass, but who knew? Maybe she’d have more wine later. She started swiping through her music selections and realized that maybe Blaze was right—nothing seemed good for this kind of thing, but she didn’t care. She wanted to hear music that she’d find comforting because it was something she was familiar with.

  She settled on a mix of Seether and pressed play, leaving the volume at the level where it was—not too loud but not so quiet they couldn’t hear it. And then she got her bearings. Holy shit. She was really gonna do this. The effects of the pot and the wine were wearing off, so she considered asking for more of both. Ultimately, though, she decided not to, because she wanted to be fully present if she was going through with it.

  Blaze was still chuckling when she turned around and walked back over to the couch, resolve firmly in place. He said, “I think I’ll sit down first and then you can just relax between my legs and lean back against me if you need to.”

  Kaylee felt the redness spread over her cheeks again even as a deep part of her started to tingle. But she had already gone this far. She wasn’t going to back out now. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to turn off the overhead light and just turn on the lamp. I think that’ll help me.”

  “Whatever you need.” He got into place while she took care of the lights. She walked back over to where he was sitting on the yoga mat and he said, “Okay, so you only need to take your pants off.”

  She swallowed. “Um, all right…but don’t look, okay?”

  He grinned. “Whatever you need.” He looked away and even closed his eyes.

  Way cool. Kaylee took a deep breath. Oh, God, she was an inexperienced prude. If Blaze had known, there would have been no way he would have agreed to any of this. Kaylee had only ever had sex with two guys ever, and she could count the number of guys she’d dated on two hands. She was the last person to be doing something like this, and yet, as the evening wore on, the more eager she was for it, even though she was nervous.

  Blaze’s head was lowered and his eyes were closed, but he even covered them with one of his hands. And the way he’d described the real experience—the one her friends would be enjoying the next morning—their entire everything would be splayed out for the rubbing guys to see full on, but the way Blaze had it set up, he wouldn’t see much of her private parts or even (thank heavens) her face. Somehow, it felt safer to Kaylee, and she appreciated that he’d given the idea so much thought.

  She took a deep breath. It was going to be like ripping off a Band-Aid. Just do it and get it over with. She pursed her lips and nodded to no one but herself and then unbuttoned her slacks. She grabbed the zipper and pulled it down. Her shoes were already off, so she simply let the slacks drop to the floor and stepped out of them.

  The underwear, though. The panties. That was the serious garment to peel off, because that would make it real. That would mean she was really going to do it.

  Her resolve was strong. She nodded again, swallowed the saliva that had pooled in her mouth, and slid her thumbs under the sides of her panties. Another inhale and she pulled them down over her hips, letting them also slide to the floor.

  “Okay, I’m ready.” Her voice sounded so tiny, especially up against the backdrop of Shaun Morgan’s voice coming out of the stereo speakers.

  “Want me to keep my eyes closed until you’re in position?”

  She thought about it. Yes, yes, she did. It was giving her a sense of courage. “If that’s okay.”

  “Yeah.” He spread his legs a little more to make it easier for her to sit in front of him. She took yet another deep breath, wondering if she was risking hyperventilation. Somehow, though, it was giving her courage, feeling like she was controlling something. She gulped again and forced her feet to move. She stepped between his legs and squatted first, then sat. Once her bottom was on the yoga mat, she scooted backward until her back was pressed up against his chest.

  Holy shit. And her bottom was pressed up against his crotch! His dick!

  Was she really doing this?

  “Comfortable?” he asked.

  Yes, she was.

  Holy shit. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.

  Her heart was thumping in her chest, her breathing shallow, but yeah. She was doing this. And she hadn’t fainted yet.

  Chapter Four

  “RELAX, KAYLEE.”

  “I am relaxed.”

  Blaze laughed. “Tell that to your body.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’re tense. Do I need to rub your shoulders again?”

  She blew the air out of her lungs. “No. Let’s just get this over with.”

  Blaze started laughing again. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

&nb
sp; “No, no.” She forced herself to stop talking. Her tongue had been way too loose since drinking the wine. She’d been talking without engaging her thought processes, and that was a bad thing. But, at her core, she knew now that she wanted to do this. Yes, she really did. Something deep down inside her wanted to see what Blaze could do to her, how he could make her feel. Better yet, being the repressed and sexually shy woman she’d always been, she was in a position that she could blame it on the alcohol and pot if she needed to. Yeah, she knew that wasn’t the brave thing to do, but she didn’t care. “I want to do this. I just don’t want to drag it out.”

  “Excited?”

  She might as well be honest. “A little nervous.”

  “It’s cool, Kaylee. Nothing to be nervous about. Just close your eyes and rest your head against my shoulder.” She closed her eyes but she wasn’t ready to lay her head back against him. Somehow, that felt a little too intimate. “The stuff I read? Once I start, we’re both supposed to focus on what I’m doing. You’re supposed to focus on the sensations, and if your mind starts to wander, you just want to redirect your focus.” Kaylee almost started laughing. She figured if her mind started wandering while he was playing with her, it meant he was doing something very wrong. But before she could say that, he asked, “Ready?”

  She swallowed and then nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Okay. Seriously. Just try to relax. I promise this is gonna be cool.”

  She nodded again, clamping her mouth shut for fear she’d keep talking and ruin the moment. He didn’t seem to be doing anything, though, so she opened her right eye and saw that he was opening the tube of lubricant he’d brought. Her eye grew wide until she forced it closed. Then she felt his hand, warm and firm, on her left leg, pulling it toward his, spreading her apart so their legs formed a diamond shape. She couldn’t help it but she gasped at his touch.