Australia Outback Fantasies

by Margaret Way

  With a tiny shake of her head Maxi pulled her thoughts together. She’d better stop wallowing in her own misgivings. Karryn had to come first here. And she must in pieces with her little boy missing.

  The farm kitchen was probably the hub of things, Maxi decided, and with her knowledge of the layout of the place from her previous visit, she made her way straight there.

  ‘Oh, Maxi!’ Liz looked up from wrapping cling film around a tray of freshly made sandwiches. ‘Is Jake with you?’

  ‘Gone with the searchers.’ Maxi looked around the friendly faces of the women present, most of whom she already knew. ‘I’m not sure what help I can offer …’

  ‘Just having you here is tremendous reassurance for everyone,’ Liz said kindly, and a soft, ‘Hear, hear,’ echoed from the other women.

  Maxi bit her lip. That kind of praise didn’t sit well with her when part of her seemed reluctant to be there at all. ‘I thought perhaps I could have a word with Karryn.’

  ‘She’s feeding the baby.’ Liz quickly washed and dried her hands. ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘How is she coping?’ Maxi asked quietly, as they made their way along the hallway to the little bedroom being used as a nursery.

  ‘Karryn’s a woman of the outback,’ Liz said, as if the question was irrelevant. ‘She’ll find strengths most of us could only dream about.’

  Maxi went quiet for a few seconds. She felt suddenly out of her depth. She and Karryn may as well have come from different planets, their life experiences were so diverse. And even as a doctor it seemed presumptuous to think she, an English doctor, had anything to offer this Australian bush mother in her time of crisis.

  Liz raised her hand and knocked softly on the bedroom door. ‘Karryn is quite concerned about Belinda,’ she whispered. ‘Poor mite thinks she’s to blame for not watching out for her little brother.’

  Oh, lord. Maxi pressed her lips tightly together. How did she handle this new complication? ‘Where is Belinda now?’

  ‘With two of Jennifer’s young brood. They’re watching a video. Karryn?’ Liz opened the door to the bedroom and popped her head in. ‘Welcome visitor for you. Our wonderful English doctor’s here.’ She nodded towards Maxi. ‘Go in,’ she urged gently. ‘I’ll bring you both a cuppa directly.’

  ‘OK to come in?’ Maxi moved quietly into the bedroom.

  ‘Hi, Maxi …’ Karryn gave the ghost of a smile. ‘Thanks for coming all the way out here.’

  ‘That’s fine, Karryn.’ Her gaze soft, Maxi watched as the young mother eased her infant son from her breast and kissed the top of his downy head. ‘All done?’ she asked gently, holding out her arms for the baby. ‘I’ll put Christopher back in his cot, shall I?’

  ‘Thanks … I’m trying to keep things as normal as possible for Belinda’s sake. Otherwise I’d be out searching …’

  Karryn’s voice faltered and she looked blankly at her hands, as if they belonged to someone else. ‘I … can’t help wondering if I’ll ever hold Nate again, read to him, give him his bath—all those things …’

  Maxi swallowed. ‘Of course you will, Karryn. Nate will be found. Our men will find him.’

  Karryn summoned up a brave kind of smile. ‘I know they will. And he’s wearing a light-coloured T-shirt, thank heavens.’

  Maxi looked disconcerted. ‘Is that a help?’

  ‘It’ll stand out against the landscape far better than a dark colour.’ Getting to her feet, she looked around vaguely. ‘I think I’ll go and spend some time with Belinda. We’ll go for a little walk …’

  Maxi floundered again. ‘Would … you like me to come along?’

  ‘That’d be nice. I’ll just ask Jen to listen out for the baby.’

  Ten o’clock, and hope which had been high in the early evening had fallen progressively.

  Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, Maxi felt she’d stepped into a nightmare, her time with Jake at the springs that afternoon seeming some kind of dream. Had it happened at all? she wondered, watching as a new team of searchers was preparing to go out, allowing the first team some respite. Except for Jacob and Dean. Her face tightened. She knew instinctively that wild horses wouldn’t drag them back until they’d found Nathan.

  She blew out a calming breath. The utter stillness of the night on top of the uncertainty of the situation were beginning to unnerve her. At least Belinda had gone to sleep but although Maxi had offered a mild sedative to Karryn, the young mum had refused, remaining resolute, looking endlessly out into the night.

  The ringing of Maxi’s mobile phone startled everyone.

  ‘Is there news?’ Karryn had come running, new fear in her eyes as she watched Maxi depress the key to speak.

  ‘It’s Jake …’ Maxi reached out to grab Karryn’s hand and pressed the phone into it. ‘He wants to speak to you.’

  As she listened to Karryn’s murmured responses, Maxi wrapped her arms around her midriff, a ring of ice numbing her lips. Oh, lord, what if …?

  ‘They’ve found him!’ Karryn’s face broke into a shaky smile that flickered and then crumpled. ‘My boy is OK …’

  Immediately emotions boiled over.

  The group of woman who’d been waiting for news surged together into a huge hugging circle, laughing and crying at the same time. Finally, they broke apart.

  ‘Jake said they’ll be here in twenty minutes,’ Karryn choked, rubbing her eyes fiercely.

  ‘Right, let’s top up the tea urns,’ Liz said practically. ‘The men’ll be starving.’

  Lights came on all over the house, a breathless kind of expectancy overtaking everyone as they flocked outside to wait for the searchers’ return.

  ‘There they are!’ someone called, long before Maxi was aware of their approach. But she certainly joined in the cheer when the search party walked out of the night, the light from their powerful torches strobing the trees with yellow brilliance.

  Maxi stood back. This moment was for Karryn and Dean and their little boy.

  ‘Max … you OK?’

  She jumped, goose-bumps running up and down her spine. It was Jake, barely recognisable under a mask of grime.

  ‘I think so,’ she said shakily. ‘Are you OK?’ Tears of relief were running down her cheeks and she had no idea how painfully her arms were around him. ‘Nathan?’

  Drawing back, suddenly embarrassed, she scanned his face in the pale moonlight.

  ‘Twisted ankle. Slowed him down for a bit.’ Jake’s mouth folded in on a rueful smile. ‘And you were right about the dog. He’d stayed with Nate. And once he’d got our scent, his barking would have woken the dead. Smart little mutt.’

  ‘I guess he’ll be Nate’s friend for evermore.’ Maxi tried to smile, groping for a sense of lightness, but it wasn’t there. Perhaps it would come later, she thought. After all, the child had been found and wasn’t that the best outcome they could have hoped for? She turned to Jake, urging him towards the back verandah. ‘Get some hot food inside you. I’ll take over now.’

  ‘Thanks. Good to have you here, Max,’ he added, his voice rough with weariness.

  The complimentary words left a hollow ring in Maxi’s ears. She checked Nathan over and, finding nothing more serious than the ankle and a few scratches from the brambles he’d tumbled into, gave him the all-clear. ‘Nate’s ankle will mend pretty quickly,’ she said to Karryn. ‘But it would help if he didn’t run around on it for a couple of days. I know it’s a big ask.’

  ‘No.’ Karryn shook her head. ‘I can manage that. I won’t let him out of my sight. It could have all turned out so differently.’ she continued, speaking faster, sounding scared. ‘Thanks so much, Maxi.’

  Maxi made a helpless sound. ‘I hardly did anything.’

  ‘You were here—as the doctor. That means such a lot in a rural community.’

  And the responsibility was crippling. Maxi paused, biting her lip. Suddenly she felt drained and completely out of her depth. She dragged her professional skills to the fore. ‘Nate’s ank
le may ache a bit tomorrow, Karryn. He’ll probably complain of it feeling sore.’

  ‘I’ve children’s paracetemol I can give him. Is that OK?’

  ‘It’s fine. But if you’re worried about him at all, please don’t hesitate to call the surgery.’

  Karryn nodded, her smile a bit wobbly. ‘I’ll give this young rascal a sponge now and pop him into bed. I guess I should say a little prayer as well.’

  Handing Nathan over to the care of his mother, Maxi sent up her own silent prayer of thanks for a little boy delivered safely back to his family.

  ‘How do those women cope, Jacob?’ They were on their way home from Westwood and it was late, very late.

  ‘They just do, Maxi,’ Jake confirmed wearily. Why on earth had she brought this up when they were both emotionally spent and physically exhausted? ‘You’re seeing Tangaratta at its worst, with the drought and all its implications.’

  ‘It must take such a terrible toll on people …’ She turned her head away, her voice cracking.

  Jake lifted a hand from the steering-wheel and scrubbed it across his eyes. ‘For the most part this is the lifestyle they’ve chosen, but it takes people with big hearts to survive here.’

  But did that include her? Maxi wondered bleakly. The isolation of the outback rammed home loud and clear in her head. Keeping her face averted, she blinked fast, containing the tears that threatened to fall.

  They were quiet for the rest of the way home.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  SOMETHING was wrong. Jake looked broodingly across at Maxi as she made a pretence of eating breakfast. ‘You look shattered,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you take the morning off? I can manage surgery.’

  Maxi opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. ‘OK, thanks,’ she accepted throatily. ‘I might do that.’

  ‘Good.’ Jake scraped a hand slowly around his jaw. ‘Any plans?’

  Her gaze jerked up. ‘Plans?’

  ‘For your time off.’

  Maxi felt her pulse accelerate. Was now the time to tell him? She’d been awake for most of the night and now finally she knew what she had to do. ‘I’ve … a few things in mind.’

  His dark brows rose. ‘Would you like to borrow the Land Rover?’

  She shook her head. ‘I won’t be driving anywhere. Just … doing other stuff.’

  Hell’s bells. Jake’s mouth tightened. She looked uncomfortable, almost hunted. ‘Is there something you want to talk to me about, Max?’ he asked, watching conflicting emotions on her face as she grappled with her thoughts.

  She looked down briefly. He knew her too well. ‘I guess so.’ She took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘I’d like to go home.’

  Jake’s heart hurtled into a nosedive and his mind began clamouring. ‘You want to go home? To England?’

  Maxi nodded hesitatingly, as if searching for the right words. ‘I want you to— That is, could you come with me?’

  ‘Hell, Max. You expect me to just ditch my patients and go on holiday with you?’ Jake’s shock gave his words a harsh edge.

  ‘Surely it’s not too much to ask, is it?’

  His mouth a tight line, Jake shook his head. ‘It’s totally unrealistic. I can’t just up and trot off on a whim. I have responsibilities here.’ His gaze narrowed. ‘How long have you been planning your own get a way, then?’

  ‘I … haven’t been actually planning it.’ She stopped, her teeth closing on her bottom lip. ‘It’s just something I need to do. I need to feel centred.’

  ‘I see.’ Jake’s mouth snapped shut, his tightly clamped lips a harsh line across his face. With all that was in him he wanted to ask whether she intended coming back, but the words jammed in his throat.

  The silence between them lengthened and became thicker. Until Maxi asked carefully, ‘Couldn’t you get a locum?’

  His harsh laugh cracked out. ‘You’ve just no idea, have you? Doctors don’t want to work out here—it’s all too hard. Hell, you’ve just proved that point yourself. And especially now, with the drought? What calibre of locum would be attracted, do you imagine?’

  Her eyelashes fluttered down. ‘I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.’

  ‘I’d get someone barely competent who can’t get a job anywhere else, or maybe even a drunk.’

  ‘That wouldn’t happen.’

  Jake’s lip curled. ‘Oh, believe me, it has. I can’t come with you, Maxi,’ he said after a moment of heavy silence. ‘It’s out of the question.’

  So what about us? Maxi picked up her tea-mug with shaking fingers, her insides suddenly twisting as the truth hit. He just didn’t care enough. Otherwise he’d move heaven and earth to go with her.

  Jake felt a lump the size of a lemon in his throat and even the act of swallowing hurt. His hunch had been right all along. She wanted out. Obviously what she felt for him hadn’t been enough to hold her. And that made him feel like garbage. ‘When do you want to go?’ he asked stiffly.

  ‘I’m not sure yet. I’ll look up some flights on the net this morning.’

  The catch in her voice tore at Jake’s emotions but he hardened his heart. He’d done all the pleading he intended to do. Leaning forward, he extracted his wallet from his back pocket. He opened it and took out his credit card, placing it in front of her on the table. ‘Book business class. It’s a hell of a long journey and you’ll be much more comfortable.’

  ‘I don’t need your money, Jacob,’ she protested. ‘I haven’t spent much of my salary here. I can afford to fly economy.’ Just, she added silently.

  Jake stared at her, just watched her, and then said flatly, ‘Use the card, Max.’ He pushed back his chair and got to his feet. ‘If it will make you feel better, treat it as a bonus for all your hard work.’

  Maxi made her booking and clicked off-line. In less than a week she’d be home. She closed down her laptop and got to her feet. She still had things she had to do. And then she had to get over to the surgery.

  And face Jake.

  Ayleen looked up with a smile when Maxi walked into Reception. ‘Feeling better?’

  Maxi’s gaze clouded.

  ‘Jake said you were having a sleep-in.’

  ‘Oh. Yes.’ Maxi managed a tentative smile. ‘Much better, thanks.’ And if that didn’t quite ring true, nobody here would know that. ‘How’s this afternoon’s list looking, Ayleen?’

  The receptionist made a small face. ‘Pretty full, actually. Thank goodness it’s a two-doctor practice now. Did you want a spot of lunch? I made sandwiches but Jake hardly touched anything.’

  Maxi felt her throat close. He was obviously upset and she could understand that. But she’d asked him to go with her. And he’d refused point blank. What more could she do? ‘I’ve already eaten, thanks, Ayleen. Is … Jake in his room?’

  ‘Mmm.’ Ayleen looked up from her filing. ‘He’s not in the best of moods,’ she warned, as Maxi turned away.

  The walk to his consulting room seemed endless. Maxi paused for a moment outside his door, her heart hammering. Then, taking a deep breath, she knocked and went in.

  He was standing at the window, looking out. At her knock he looked back over his shoulder, his expression carefully controlled. ‘All set for the off?’

  She nodded, too close to the edge to answer. She went forward and placed his credit card on his desk. ‘Thanks for that, Jacob. I will pay you back, though.’ And she would, she vowed, every cent.

  He turned fully then, folding his arms and leaning back against the window-sill. ‘When do you fly out?’

  ‘Early next week. I’ll make sure I’ll leave everything in order.’

  Something flickered in his eyes briefly. ‘Do that.’

  Maxi felt as though her heart was splitting in two. If he was going to change his mind and make a snap decision to go with her, he would have done it the moment she’d walked in. But his whole attitude was distant. Leaning on his desk, she pressed one hand on top of the other to stop herself from trembling. ‘Please, try to understand
, Jacob. I need to see my family.’

  Jake’s expression remained neutral as he took her information on board. ‘You should aim to be in Sydney by Monday at the latest, then. Give yourself time to relax a bit before the flight.’

  ‘I realise that. I’ll drive.’

  ‘You won’t have to. I’ll get in touch with John McIlwraith, one of the better-off graziers. He has a private plane. He and his wife are only too happy to have an excuse to head down to Sydney. They’ll be glad to give you a lift.’

  Sudden pain welled in Maxi’s heart. It sounded as though he couldn’t wait to get shot of her. Well, as least she knew now. ‘I’ve moved my things across to the hotel. I’ll stay there for the few days until I leave.’

  Jake frowned. ‘Why did you do that?’

  Maxi bit the inside of her bottom lip. ‘It just seemed simpler.’ And it wasn’t as though they had anything left to say to one other, she thought bleakly. ‘Folk are going to talk anyway.’

  ‘Do you think I care about that?’

  Maxi felt her insides twist painfully. She didn’t know what he cared about any more. It certainly wasn’t her.

  Jake felt his chest tighten so much, it hurt to breathe. He didn’t understand any of it. More and more recently, he’d thought they belonged together …

  Seeing his closed expression, Maxi sighed and made to turn away. ‘I’d better head back to my room. Ayleen says we have a full list this afternoon.’

  ‘I never took you for a quitter, Max.’ There was bitter resentment in Jake’s voice.

  Maxi felt her throat almost close. ‘That’s not fair, Jacob. I’ve given this place my very best. And you. We’ve had some wonderful times together …’

  Had. Already she was speaking in the past tense. Jake’s gut wrenched. He’d carried a torch for her for two long years. She’d re-ignited it briefly. Now she’d well and truly blown out the flame. And stamped all over it.