Addicted

by Alycia Taylor

  “Maybe people can change, but they have to want to. Do you think he wants to stop having sex with all of those hot girls? I’m sorry Emmi, but you have to ask yourself what makes you think that your relationship with him will be different from every other girl? What makes you think he won’t just be sneaky enough about it so that you don’t find out? Meanwhile you’re sleeping with a guy who’s got a five star harem going on. It would be one thing if you were like the rest of them and you were okay with that, but I know you Emmi and you won’t be.”

  We reached the class that I should have been in almost seven minutes ago and I looked at my best friend. “Do you think I’m so dense that I’m just falling for a line? I live with him, Zoe. He’s told me things about himself, personal things that I doubt he just goes around telling everyone. We actually spend time doing other things besides just having sex. It’s not the same as it was with the other girls.”

  “You think he has real feelings for you?” she asked me.

  “Yeah, I do,” I told her. I could tell by the look on Zoe’s face that she thought I was kidding myself.

  “Emmi, I hope you’re right, I do. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “You won’t,” I said sternly. “Because it’s not going to happen.”

  She stood there like she had more to say, but I didn’t want to hear it. She was the one pushing me to sleep with him in the first place when I came to college. I sprinted inside the classroom, not allowing her to get the last word.

  CHAPTER THREE

  BRAXTON

  I sat in my Sociology class and I was supposed to be taking notes, but all I could think about was the shower with Emmi. It was likely the reason why it was the second time I had to take the class. When the professor talked, my mind tended to wander.

  I had a lot more sex than most guys did my age. I had it in a lot of different places with a lot of different girls, but I never had it like it was with Emmi. People talk about fireworks, rocket ships, and all that mushy stuff and I always thought, “You’re an idiot. It’s just sex.” But not with Emmi, with her it wasn’t just sex… it was indescribable. The whole shower scene, she initiated it. A girl willing to take control was exceptionally sexy.

  Oh damn… My professor asked me a question and I had no idea what he said.

  “I’m sorry sir, can you repeat that?” I asked him.

  The girl sitting to my left a few seats down looked at me and smiled. I didn’t know who she was or if I was in the right class. Her long blonde hair hung to her waist and she was wearing a short skirt. Her long, tan legs crossed in front of her. There was no way I wouldn’t have noticed all that before.

  “I said, can you tell me the native language of the Philippines?” the professor repeated.

  Shit, I knew this… Filipino? No! Damn, I was going to look like an idiot!

  “I’m sorry sir….” I started.

  I could see movement out of the corner of my eyes. The girl in the middle of the row was mouthing something to me. She was annunciating whatever it was and it made her lips look deliciously sexy. I shook off the sexy and focused on the annunciation. I saw it then.

  “Tagalog!” I said.

  “Good, thank you,” he said and then went on with his lecture about tsunamis.

  I shifted my eyes back to the blonde who was still looking at me. I mouthed “Thank you” to her. I still wondered how she had been in this class all semester and I hadn’t noticed her. I tried to concentrate on the rest of the lecture, willing it to hurry and be over with. When it was, before I could stand up I was face to face with a short skirt and a midriff that was barely covered. I glanced up at the blonde girl standing next to me.

  “Hi,” she said with a smile full of teeth.

  “Hey.”

  “I’m Carrie.”

  “Braxton. Have you always been in this class?” I had to ask her. If she had been, I was slipping.

  She laughed. “No. I was in it last semester, but I had to drop it to go home for a family emergency. My grandma passed away and she lives in Portugal so I had to go there with my mom. I was going to miss too much. The dean and the professor were kind enough to let me just pick-up where I left off.”

  “Oh, that’s cool,” I told her, grabbing my stuff and pushing myself up from the chair.

  “You want to get a cup of coffee?” she asked me.

  I thought about Emmi. It was weird. I had never been in a relationship with a girl and I didn’t want to fuck up my first one. I didn’t know what to say to the girl. She only wanted to have a cup of coffee, saying “I’ve got a girlfriend” to that would have been over the top.

  “Um, maybe another time?” I said finally. “I have another class in a few minutes across campus.”

  “Sure. Can I give you my number and then you can just call me when you have time?”

  This girl just wasn’t going to let me blow her off. I took my phone out of my pocket.

  “Okay, shoot.”

  She reached over and pulled it from my grip. “I’ll do it. It’ll be easier than spelling my name and all that.”

  I wondered how bad it would be if I had spelled Carrie with a “K”? She finished putting it in and handed the phone back. When she did, she brushed her fingers across my hand slowly. I realized then that this had all been a set up. The Universe was conspiring against me by putting that girl in this class and in my row. It was the one and only class that I saw Emmi’s friend Zoe coming into as I left every day. My eyes darted up and she was glaring at me.

  I smiled and waved. That usually worked. Not with Zoe however. I guess when she’s mad, she’s mad. I took the long way out of the auditorium so that I could stop and say hello.

  “Hi Zoe,” I said when I got close.

  “Braxton,” she responded.

  “How are you?” I asked her.

  “Fine.”

  Good old one-word answers. I tried to change up my strategy.

  “Have you seen Emmi today?”

  “Yep. Saw her in English class.”

  She was staring straight ahead, not even looking at me when we talked.

  “Zoe, did I do something to offend you?”

  Her eyes finally motioned over to me. “I just talked to my best friend less than an hour ago about how you promised her exclusivity if she decided to sleep with you. She did. Now literally minutes later I see you getting some blonde chick’s number.”

  “That wasn’t what it looked like. Besides, I only told her I wouldn’t have sex with anyone else. Who I talk to or hang out with is my business.”

  I was kind of pissed that Zoe was questioning me, so I said something stupid. It wasn’t the first time I stepped in shit and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last. The change on Zoe’s face told me I should have quit while I was ahead. Their instructor called the class to order as he glared at me standing in the middle of the auditorium. I looked back at Zoe.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  When I got to the door, I looked back over at her one more time. She had her phone out texting and I knew before I got to Emmi the whole story would be twisted. Hopefully, she was ready to trust me, because I wasn’t ready to give her up.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  EMMI

  I was sitting in my Economics class when I got a text from Zoe.

  “Just saw your boyfriend coming on to a long legged blonde. How long ago was it he promised not to see other girls?”

  I read it and then put my phone away. Then I took it back out and read it again. I tried to not jump to conclusions. “Coming on to” could mean a lot of things. Zoe already had it in her head that he was going to cheat on me so the smallest thing he did was going to look inappropriate to her. I put it away again. As soon as I stuck it in my bag it vibrated. I looked down at the instructor; we were in a stadium seating auditorium so I doubted he could hear it. I tugged it out, expecting it to be Zoe again. It was Braxton.

  “Hey, whatever Zoe just told you is crap. Meet me at Javier’s for lunch and I
’ll tell you about it.”

  If he wanted to tell me about it, it must have been perfectly innocent. Zoe was over-reacting. I put the phone away again. Then I took it back out, read both of their messages once more and texted them both back.

  To Zoe I said, “I think it was a misunderstanding, but thanks.”

  To Braxton I said, “Mexican food sounds great. I can be there at 12:20.”

  Then I tucked my phone away and left it there. My life was beginning to get in the way of school.

  I got to Javier’s about 12:25. It was just off campus and it had the best tacos on this side of Mexico. At least that’s what I’d heard because I’d never been to Mexico.

  Braxton was already there. When he saw me he hopped up and kissed me, right on the lips, right out in public.

  We really were exclusive.

  “I’m sorry, was I not supposed to do that in public?” he joked.

  He was thinking about the night at the match. “It’s fine.”

  We sat down and before I had a chance to say anything he said, “I’m not sure what’s up your friend Zoe’s ass, but I didn’t do anything wrong today.”

  “She’s just protective. She was there when I went through everything with my ex-boyfriend and she’s just worried that I’ll get hurt again.”

  The waitress came over and we ordered. Once she left he asked, “What did she tell you I did?”

  “She said you were coming on to a blonde.”

  “Jeez! The girl asked me to go for coffee. I said no and she grabbed my phone out of my hand to put her number in. We were on our way out and the next class was on its way in. I didn’t even have time to protest,” he explained.

  I could see angst covering his face. I believed him and I believed that Zoe misinterpreted the whole thing.

  “It’s really okay, Braxton. Like I said, she’s just being overprotective.”

  “Really? You’re going to take my word over hers?” he said, looking surprised.

  I guess he was spoiling for a fight.

  “Really. I trust you. You gave me your word and that’s good enough for me.”

  “Wow, thanks.”

  I laughed. “You don’t have to thank me for trusting you. You haven’t given me any reason not to.”

  “I guess I was just worried because… Well that last jerk cheated on you and most girls listen to their girlfriends over their boyfriends.”

  “Are you my boyfriend?”

  Redness filled his cheeks. The guy who could crook a finger and have any girl that he wanted was blushing because I asked him if he was my boyfriend.

  He obviously couldn’t tell I was joking.

  “Well, yeah. I mean isn’t that what exclusivity means? I’m only seeing you,” he said, grinning mischievously. "And, I’m seeing a lot of you, I mean like all of you….”

  Now I could feel heat on my cheeks. He felt better knowing that I trusted him, so I would try to talk to Zoe about not jumping to conclusions from then on.

  He bent over the table again and kissed me.

  “I like all of you too,” I breathed.

  While we ate, he brought up his little sister. “Callie has a soccer game on Friday. Would you want to go with me?”

  I was touched that he would take me somewhere that his family would see me.

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “It’s at six in the evening,” is all I heard as I was infatuated by his perfect face, thinking how lucky I was.

  That all ended when I caught blonde girl with hair down to her ass and tan legs coming towards us. At first, I thought she was coming up to the table, but at the last minute she turned. Braxton looked at her, not her face I mean. He did the guy thing where they start at your boobs and run their eyes all the way down your body and back up again. It was subtle, but when the girl went back to her table she whispered something to her three friends that were sitting there and they all giggled. They were looking at me when they did. I knew that I just told him I trusted him and I meant it at the time. However, when a guy or girl has people blatantly throwing themselves in front of them every day, everywhere they go… how long before they give in? This was one of the perils of dating the “hot guy.” The “popular guy.” I had never done that in high school, so it was all new to me.

  I took a deep breath and told myself to suck it up.

  “Don’t worry about them,” he told me.

  He must have known I caught him.

  “Then don’t look at her body like that.”

  “Oh come on. Girls check out guys too.”

  “Yeah… That is true,” I agreed, tucking my hair behind my ears. “Then don’t do it front of me. Instead, check me out.”

  “I already do,” he said winking. “And it is amaaazing.”

  I laughed. “To be honest I was looking at her hideous outfit. I would not want to be her mom. She has her ass hanging out of her cutoff jeans shorts and wearing stripper heels. Fashion these days is something else.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it. I would never be caught dead wearing something like that.”

  “Of course you wouldn't. Your ass is just for me,” he quipped.

  Heat spread across my face. Even though I had been with him he could still make me blush. Not wanting him to notice, I stared down and twiddled my thumbs.

  “You and your jokes. Sooo, what position does Callie play?” I asked.

  “Goalie.” It was obvious from his smile that he was proud of her. “She’s ranked number one in the state for high school goalies.”

  “Wow, that’s impressive. How long has she been playing?”

  “My mom got her started when she was six. She used to sit in the goal box and pick flowers. My mom would stand behind her and when the ball started coming her way she would tell her to get up and tell her which side to stand on.”

  He had a dreamy smile on his face.

  “Your mom sounds great.”

  “She was,” he said with a genuine smile.

  This was the Braxton that I liked so much. The guy who didn’t think he had anything to prove or anyone to impress… my Braxton. My boyfriend I thought as I looked over at the giggly girls.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  BRAXTON

  I walked Emmi to her next class after lunch and kissed her again before she went in. I liked kissing her in public for two reasons. First, because she was absolutely gorgeous. Second, she got flustered and blushed every time. She was obviously not accustomed to PDA and for a girl who said she loved to do school plays, she obviously wasn’t comfortable being the center of attention. I’d fix that if she stuck with me long enough. I spent so much of my life being invisible.

  One girl from a table of girls in the restaurant kept walking past our table. I wasn’t interested in her, or any of them. I was with the girl I wanted to be with. They were obvious so I’m not surprised Emmi noticed. She didn’t act mad even though she thought I was checking the one girl out. Just the thought of their boyfriend doing something like that would piss off most girls. But she didn’t get angry. I was rapidly finding out that Emmi was most definitely not “most girls.”

  I loved her for it.

  Luckily for her I wasn't checking her out. My mom always told me not to stare but sometimes it's hard not to. The clothes she was wearing just made me laugh. I'm not a fashion guru, but it seemed like girls were dressing trashier every day. I hope guys never dress that way. I laughed at the thought.

  I didn’t have any more classes for the day and I was feeling a little heavy from the taco. I decided to go home, change, and go for a run. I was just coming back out of the apartment when I was once again face to face with the old man. Twice in as many weeks, lucky me.

  “Hey son. Are you going out?”

  I was dressed in a pair of cut off sweats, a muscle shirt, running shoes, and I had my iPod hanging around my neck. Oh, and a big ass bottle of water in my hand. It was hard to pass up this one. He set himself up nicely sometimes. I wasn’t in the mood to fight though.


  “Yeah, going for a run. What’s up?”

  “I wanted to apologize for the other day.”

  I squinted my eyes, wondering how many times since my mother died that I had heard him say that. I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time he said he would never drink again…

  “Alright, thanks. I’m going to take off before it gets too late in the day.”

  “Braxton,” he said as I started to walk away. “I’m going to stop drinking. I’m looking into a program. I want to be a good father to you and Callie.”

  I sucked in a deep breath, pleading with myself to be nice.

  “That’s good, Dad. I gotta go.”

  I turned all the way around this time and I suddenly felt his hand on my shoulder. It wasn’t a friendly pat, I could tell. I spun back around, bumping our chests together.

  “When did you turn into such an arrogant punk?”

  I knew then that not fighting with him was a pipe dream.

  “What do you fucking want from me? Why did you really come here?” I shouted.

  “Is it too much to expect your kid to be proud of you?”

  “No. Not if you deserve it.”

  He doubled up his fist, but he kept it down at his side. I didn’t know why he suddenly had such a problem with me. Maybe he couldn’t stand to know I was doing well while he was still screwing up his life.

  “Are we fucking done?” I asked loudly.

  He opened and closed his fists a few times. I was putting on a good front, but it really sucked knowing my old man wanted to punch me.

  “Yeah,” he finally said. “We’re done.”

  I turned around again and jogged off. I didn’t look back. I jogged along the trail that Emmi had taken me to the first day that I kissed her. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me that day like it was just now. I liked to think about our first kiss on the beautiful trail. That was the first time she gave me any indication that I had a chance with her. She looked remarkable stretched out in the grass.

  When I got home Emmi still wasn’t there. I was thinking about what I was going to have for dinner when there was a knock on the front door. It was Callie.