‘She was trying to help.’
‘Help?’ said Dan. ‘Really?’
He closed his eyes for a second, having an idea as to the kind of research his mother was talking about. The thought of two old ladies, high as kites, while puffing on a couple of dodgy roll ups wasn’t an image he relished. He just prayed that he was wrong.
‘Please tell me you didn’t,’ he said.
‘What? Smoke a joint?’ asked his mum.
Dan’s eyes widened in anticipation of her answer.
‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘I’ve never smoked in my life, why would I start now?’
Glad to hear it, the relief Dan felt was immeasurable.
‘But we did sample some of their cake.’
Dan stared at his mother in disbelief. Oh, God, he thought. My own mother, doing drugs. He took a swig of alcohol, not sure he wanted to hear the rest of the story.
‘It tasted much nicer than I thought it would,’ his mum carried on regardless. ‘And you wouldn’t believe how relaxed it made me feel.’
Dan scoffed. ‘I’ve heard that cannabis does that,’ he said. ‘Not that I’ve ever tried it, my law-abiding mother having taught me to say no when it comes to these things.’ After all the warnings she’d given over the years, the lectures about drug-induced paranoia, personality disorders, depression, and goodness knew what other side effects, surely she had to see the irony here.
‘More relaxed than I’ve felt in months,’ she continued. ‘And I got my appetite back, something I thought would never happen.’
Dan cringed. For fuck’s sake, he thought to himself. Now he pictured his mother with the munchies, could things get any worse?
‘Which is why we went back later for another slice. ‘
Yes, it seemed they could.
‘Honestly, I almost felt normal.’
‘Normal,’ said Dan, not sure whether to laugh or cry. ‘You’re telling me that two pensioners stuffing their faces with a class B drug is normal?’
‘Which brings me to today’s events,’ his mother continued.
Dan tried to calm himself. ‘Go on,’ he said. Although it didn’t take a genius to work out what was coming next.
‘I just thought if I could get my hands on some cannabis here, I could bake myself a cake.’
‘Jesus, Mum, we’re not talking about nipping down to the supermarket for a bag of flour. Even you must see that. Drug dealers are hardened criminals.’ He sighed. How could she have put herself in harm’s way like that?
‘Of course, if I’d known the place was going to get raided, I wouldn’t have gone.’
Dan told himself at least that was something. She hadn’t completely lost her marbles.
‘I’d have waited,’ she carried on. ‘Or found another dealer.’
‘Another dealer!’ Dan had heard it all now. ‘Mum, do you know what you sound like? Not only that, you still haven’t told me how you managed to find the first.’
‘Oh, Dan, I’m not totally stupid.’
The way this conversation was going, Dan had to admit he found that debatable.
‘I looked for a pair of trainers hanging over an electricity wire.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘That’s an urban myth.’
‘Is it? Then I got lucky.’
‘Lucky?’ said Dan. He couldn’t believe she’d just said that. ‘Mum, you got arrested.’
‘I know,’ she replied. ‘And I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.’
As far as Dan was concerned, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
‘So did the police charge you with anything?’ he asked.
‘They gave me a caution. They said it wasn’t in the public’s interest to prosecute a dying woman.’ His mum raised a smile. ‘It’s seems having cancer has its benefits after all.
Unable to see a positive side to any of this, Dan shook his head. It was a ridiculous situation from start to finish.
‘You know if you’d asked,’ he said. ‘Explained it all to me, I’d have gone and bought the cannabis for you.’
His mum smiled. ‘I know you would,’ she said. ‘Which is exactly why I kept everything to myself. I can afford to get a criminal record, you can’t.’
Dan downed the last of his whiskey and wondered if life could get any worse. Not only was his mother dying, she was now trawling the streets attempting to buy drugs. He knew he couldn’t stay mad at her forever though.
He got up from his seat to give her a hug, not sure which of them needed it the most. ‘Why us, Mum?’ he asked, putting his arms around her. ‘Why do we have to go through this?’
‘Hey,’ his mother replied. She pulled back and looked him directly in the eye. ‘Don’t you be getting all morbid on me. I’m not done for just yet. We still have things to do, remember?’
‘Like what?’ said Dan. ‘Because as far as that Bucket List is concerned you won’t be going on any more trips, if that’s what you’re thinking. Especially if today’s anything to go by.’
‘Like making sure your love life is sorted,’ she said. ‘That’s what.’
In all the excitement, Dan had forgotten about his up and coming date with Maeve. He tried not to show it, but his heart sank. It might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but thanks to Missy and her unwanted influence, he no longer felt sure he could go through with it.
13
Annabel sat at the counter chewing on the end of a pencil. She was trying to come up with new ideas for the shop’s window display. While the display she already had was okay, she felt the time had come for a fresher, more exciting way to advertise her wares. Putting pencil to paper, she began to sketch, before changing her mind and scribbling all over it, ready to start again.
The doorbell rang and Annabel looked up to see Dan making an entrance. She wondered what he was doing here.
‘Morning,’ he said. ‘I come bearing gifts.’ He carried two take-away coffees and handed one out to Annabel as he approached.
‘Thank you,’ Annabel replied, still surprised to see him here at all.
He automatically dragged a stool over to the counter and sat himself down.
‘Make yourself at home, why don’t you?’ she said.
Dan laughed. ‘I was just passing and thought, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably ready for a brew by now.’
Annabel smiled. She pulled the lid off the polystyrene cup and peered inside. ‘You know me too well,’ she said.
A silence descended between them and Annabel found herself enjoying the quiet. It felt pleasant, companionable even.
‘So, what’s new?’Dan finally asked.
She tried and failed to come up with something. After all, when it came to anything out of the ordinary taking place, Dan had been around to witness events for himself. ‘Nothing,’ she replied. ‘What about you?’
‘Don’t ask,’ said Dan.
Intrigued, Annabel waited for him to continue.
‘Well if you must know …’
After listening to him recount the details of his mum’s arrest, Annabel tried to keep a straight face. Dan clearly didn’t see the funny side and the last thing she wanted to do was further upset him. She bit on her bottom lip in an attempt at quelling her giggles. But it was no good. She couldn’t keep them in and her straight face automatically contorted as she suddenly burst out laughing.
‘Trust you to see the funny side,’ said Dan, still less than amused.
Annabel couldn’t help it. His mother’s antics never failed to bring a smile to her face.
‘Next time you can get your own coffee,’ said Dan. ‘Which won’t taste half as good as this one, by the way.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Annabel, regaining her composure. ‘You’re right, I shouldn’t laugh.’ She picked up her cup, ready to take another drink. ‘And thanks again for this,’ she said, taking a sip of its contents. ‘It’s very nice of you to think of my caffeine intake.’
‘Isn’t that what friends are for?’ asked Dan.
Annabel smiled again. Friends, she thought to herself. She liked the sound of that. She watched him drink his own coffee, knowing that a short time ago she’d have freaked out at him turning up unannounced in this way. Now, she realised, she actually welcomed his presence. Having him around somehow felt natural.
‘Speaking of difficult relatives,’ said Dan, interrupting her thoughts. ‘How’s Rebecca?’
‘Are you trying to spoil my day?’ she asked.
He raised an eyebrow, the man clearly expected a proper answer.
Annabel put her cup back down with a sigh. ‘I haven’t a clue,’ she replied.
‘You mean you haven’t spoken to her?’
‘Nope.’ She recalled her sister’s fury over the skateboarding incident. ‘I thought it best to give her some time. You know, to calm down.’
‘Coward,’ said Dan, laughing.
Annabel didn’t disagree.
‘And the baby thing?’ Dan carried on. ‘Has she got her head around that yet?’
‘Not as far as I know.’
‘And what about you?’
‘Me?’ Annabel thought his question strange considering getting pregnant had been her idea in the first place.
‘Any sudden cravings for broccoli or bacon sandwiches?’
Ah, thought Annabel. She immediately tensed up. ‘No, no cravings.’
With her voice suddenly sounding strange even to her own ears, she thought it reasonable that Dan’s face had turned quizzical. But she’d been determined to keep schtum until she was one hundred per cent sure. She hadn’t wanted to needlessly get her own hopes up, let alone anyone else’s.
Dan stared at her, as if waiting for her to continue and Annabel felt her whole body crumple as she realised she had no choice but to explain. She straightened herself up again, resolute in her desire to maintain that this was no big deal. ‘I’m late,’ she said.
Annabel tried to read his expression, but his face was suddenly blank. Understandable under the circumstances, she considered. No wonder he appeared to swallow, before speaking.
‘You’re what?’ he finally asked.
‘Late,’ Annabel repeated. ‘With my period.’
Again, Dan swallowed.
‘But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything,’ Annabel continued.
‘Like hell it doesn’t,’ said Dan.
‘After all, these things do happen from time to time.’
Dan stared at her, in disbelief. ‘When did you plan on telling me?’ he asked. ‘I mean, does anyone else know?’
She watched him jump up from his seat, not even bothering to wait for her to answer.
‘Shit, Annabel,’ he said. ‘This could be it.’ His mind seemed to race as he began pacing up and down, all the while fumbling in his pockets in search of something.
Annabel wondered what he was thinking. Was he regretting his decision to help her get pregnant? Was he simply overwhelmed with excitement? Was he thinking about his mother, relieved that he no longer had to keep his promise?
‘We need to do a test,’ he said. Eventually producing his car keys, he seemed to be talking to himself more than her. ‘A chemist, yes, that’s what we need.’ He suddenly stopped still and turned to Annabel. ‘Where’s the nearest chemist?’ he asked.
Glad to see he’d remembered she was, in fact, still in the room, Annabel stared back at him. She didn’t know whether to find his reaction sweet or annoying. After all, this was exactly the kind of response that had prevented her from saying something in the first place. In trying to be sensible about the whole thing, she’d wanted to deal with her own emotions on the matter before having to deal with anyone else’s. And as harsh as it might be, that anyone else had included Dan.
She silently got down off her stool and headed out back, before returning with her handbag. Plonking it down on the counter, it was her turn to rummage. She found what she was looking for and pulled out a slim, cardboard package. ‘We don’t need a chemist,’ she said, holding up a pregnancy testing kit. ‘I’ve already been.’
Dan looked from her, to the box. He appeared as nervous as she felt. ‘What now?’ he asked. He rubbed his down the side of his jeans in anticipation.
‘What do you think?’ she replied.
Annabel opened the packet and pulled out the instruction sheet. Reading it, she finally placed it down on the counter. She took a deep breath. ‘I suppose there’s no time like the present.’
She strode over to the shop door and flipped the open sign to closed, before making her way out to the back. Surprised to realise that Dan was following her she suddenly stopped and turned to face him. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, preventing him from going any further. ‘I think I can take it from here.’
Dan blushed red. ‘Yes, sorry,’ he replied. ‘Inappropriate. I get it.’ He crossed his arms and stuffed his hands under his armpits, before taking a step back. ‘But I’m here if you need me.’
Annabel smiled. She found his embarrassed sincerity endearing and almost felt guilty at leaving him just standing there. ‘I won’t be long,’ she said.
Taking the test with her, she continued on her way, this time heading to the loo. Following the instructions, she thought she’d never wee. The pressure to perform was obviously having an adverse effect on her body. ‘Come on, come on,’ she said, willing it to happen.
Job finally done, her hands shook as she placed the pregnancy test on the side of the sink. She turned on the tap and watched the warm water for a moment as it flowed over her fingers and palms, before slowly reaching for the hand soap. No matter what her increased heart rate seemed to say, she insisted she wasn’t in any rush. After all, it would take a while for the results to show.
As the minutes ticked by, Annabel grabbed the towel and dried her hands, she began to feel her heart rate increase even more. She picked up the pregnancy test and took a deep breath, before daring to read its result. She looked at the image coming through on the display and gave herself a moment to absorb what it meant. She took another deep breath, calmly exhaling as she let herself out of the toilet.
Dan hastily stepped forward. Clearly eager for the result, his eyes widened in expectation. ‘Well?’ he asked.
Despite trying to keep it together, Annabel struggled to hide her disappointment. Slowly, she began to shake her head. ‘It’s negative,’ she said. She tried to raise a smile. ‘See, I told you these things happen.’
Dan sighed, appearing equally as saddened, which only made Annabel feel worse.
‘Oh, come here,’ he said, regardless.
As he pulled her towards him, Annabel suddenly felt Dan’s arms wrap tightly around her. It was a gesture she readily accepted.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘Maybe next time, eh?’
‘Yep, maybe next time,’ Annabel replied.
But that didn’t stop it from hurting.
14
Dan let himself into the cubicle and closed the door behind him. He dropped the toilet lid and went to sit down. He let out a heavy sigh and wondered what was wrong with him. Yes, he felt disappointed that Annabel wasn’t pregnant, a feeling that both surprised and confused him. But it was more than that. He almost laughed at himself. Most men he knew would be in their element in the company of a woman like Maeve.
Up to now, their time together had been pleasant enough and he had to admit that Maeve had lived up to her reputation, being every inch the lovely girl his mother had described. They’d chatted, albeit awkwardly at times, and had even managed to find a few things in common other than their mothers’ friendship. Moreover, his own mum hadn’t exaggerated when she’d said how stunning his date was. Of course, thanks to her view regarding blondes, he’d expected the long, fair hair, but with a name like Maeve he hadn’t really anticipated the looks to go with it. As it turned out, she had to be one of the most gorgeous women he’d ever set eyes on and so far, seemed to have the personality to match. So why wasn’t he feeling it? He asked himself. Why was there no spark?
; He realised his predicament was all his own fault. He should have taken his mum’s advice sooner. If he had, for all anyone knew he and Maeve could’ve been well on their way to wedded bliss by now. On the other hand, they could have learned about each other’s insurmountable foibles and decided to call it a day. Either way, life would certainly have been simpler and he definitely wouldn’t be sitting in a public toilet right now. He took in his enclosure, and, not for the first time, he wished he hadn’t made that stupid promise.
Maybe the pressure of the situation had gotten to him. After all, if ever a man needed love at first sight Dan knew it was him. He could almost hear the ticking clock in the background, reminding him he didn’t have to just like Maeve he had to fall in love with her. ‘Cheers, Mum,’ he said. The whole situation was insane.
He felt almost resentful and couldn’t believe how easily his mother had conned him into giving her his word. He couldn’t believe her determination to pretend all was well in the world – a condition that was obviously catching. Dan had spent the whole evening avoiding the subject of his mother’s health, trying to deceive himself into thinking he was here through choice. The façade couldn’t last though, he knew that; for his mother or for himself. Now he’d agreed to this date he had a decision to make and fast. He just felt scared that, if he did commit to Maeve, then that would be it. His mum’s reason for living would be gone and, as a result, she’d simply give up.
Then again, he reassured himself, she could remain stoic to the very end. His mother never could stand sickness. Even when he had chicken pox as a child she refused to show any sympathy, the relentless itching apparently all in his mind. ‘What’s a few spots?’ he remembered her saying, dragging him to school regardless. She even insisted the other parents would thank her for it; with him in the schoolyard they could get yet another childhood illness out of the way.
As far as his mother was concerned, it was what went on in the mind and not the body that mattered. A bit of positive thinking could get anyone through anything. ‘Not this time though, eh, Mum,’ he said, reality showing its face once more. That sparkle of hers was fading with each passing day whether she chose to openly admit it or not.
The Trouble With Words: a heart-warming romantic comedy Page 11
