He recalled the bottles of Oramorph he’d found in the bathroom cupboard while he was looking for a fresh tube of toothpaste. They were the last thing he’d expected to come across. The bottles were unopened and stuck at the back, just reading the labels made him feel nauseous. His mum had obviously tried to hide them and, in respecting her wishes, he never let on to her that he knew they were there. Instead, they became a sort of comforter. Their daily presence allowed him to believe that his mum’s condition wasn’t worsening. Since her arrest though, the bottles had disappeared – along with his sense of security. If only she’d listened to him and not gone to Amsterdam that day. If she’d stayed home, her body’s fighting spirit might have stayed too.
He thought about his promise again, about why his mum had made him make it. Yes, he understood her reasoning; she wanted to die safe in the knowledge that he wasn’t alone. But did she really expect to be replaced so easily? Swapped for someone else? Because when he stripped everything back, that was what this all felt like.
Tears welled in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. ‘Why do you have to take her?’ he asked. He looked up to the heavens. ‘When there are so many absolute bastards out there to choose from?’ He waited for an answer, it didn’t arrive.
He took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his contacts until Annabel’s details appeared on the screen. With his thumb poised ready to hit call, just seeing her name felt reassuring, let alone the prospect of hearing her voice. Resisting the urge, he suddenly put the phone away again and taking a deep breath, he told himself he had to be strong.
He took a second to gather his composure and standing up, headed straight for the sink. Dan turned on the cold tap and began sloshing his face. He knew he should get a move on as Maeve would be wondering where he was by now. He imagined her checking her watch, and let out a burst of mock laughter. If he did want to get to know the woman better, the last thing he needed was for her to think he had toileting issues.
However, as he stared at his reflection Dan couldn’t help but continue to just stand there. Rooted to the spot, it was as if his feet refused to move. Tears returned to his eyes and with his breath suddenly catching in his throat, he couldn’t bring himself to stop them. He gripped the sink, his shoulders started to heave as he broke down completely and, finally succumbing to the agonising pain of his mother’s dying, he let the tears and the sobs just keep coming.
‘I’m ready for this,’ said Katy.
‘Me too,’ replied Annabel, taking a seat. ‘I’ve been saving myself all day.’
She glanced around the restaurant hoping the change of scenery would take her mind off recent events. Not that she’d told Katy about the pregnancy test. The last thing she wanted was pity.
She smiled at the waiter as he approached to hand over their menus; he returned the gesture with a wink before going on his way. She blushed, wondering what was going on. She seemed to be attracting a lot of male attention lately, although she couldn’t think why.
‘Did you see that?’ asked a suddenly wide-eyed Katy, thankfully for Annabel at least having the decency to wait until he was out of earshot.
‘What?’
‘Him.’ Katy indicated towards the waiter. ‘Talk about fancying you.’
‘Rubbish,’ Annabel replied. As if she wasn’t embarrassed enough. ‘You’re imagining things.’
‘I am not,’ said Katy. ‘And you know I’m not. Why else would you sit there so red-faced? Although I shouldn’t really be surprised, men have always looked at you like that. You’ve just never noticed before.’
Annabel laughed and shook her head. In her view, the menu deserved more attention than this ridiculous conversation. She began scanning its contents, trying to decide what to have. Being so hungry, it all sounded good. From the Rabbit Rillette to the Wild Boar and Mushroom, she’d have tried everything listed given half the chance. Unlike her friend, she noted, who hadn’t even looked at her menu yet.
Annabel could feel her friend’s eyes boring into her. ‘What now?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ Katy replied.
Deciding to take her at her word, Annabel hoped that, now, the conversation could move on.
‘Anyway, speaking of who fancies who,’ she said. ‘How are things with Oliver?’ Annabel watched her friend’s whole face light up at the mere mention of his name.
‘Absolutely wonderful,’ she replied. ‘I don’t know what it is about that man, but he makes me so happy. Honestly, just the thought of him and I come over all tingly.’
‘Sounds like he could be the one,’ said Annabel, although going off her friend’s track record she’d believe it when she saw it.
Now it was her friend’s turn to blush.
‘Oh my gosh, Katy, he isn’t. Is he?’
‘Maybe,’ she replied. With a satisfied smile, Katy finally picked up her menu.
Her friend’s sudden silence on the matter told Annabel that was all she was going to get on the Oliver front, for now. Not that she minded as such, Katy would reveal all when she was good and ready. On the plus side, it meant they might actually be able to eat at last.
‘I saw Rebecca today,’ said Katy.
Or maybe not, thought Annabel, as her stomach started to seriously rumble.
‘She told me about the other day’s incident.’
As much as her friend tried to sound matter of fact, Annabel felt a lecture coming on.
‘I’m sure she did,’ she said. She wondered if she should be good and order the beetroot salad or be greedy and go for a hearty rump steak. ‘And how was she?’
‘How do you think?’
Annabel stopped reading and recalled events She might have been too high on adrenaline at the time to take in Rebecca’s words, but that hadn’t stopped her seeing the fury written all over her sister’s face. ‘Still mad at me, no doubt?’
‘Well what do you expect? She could have killed you. Imagine, her own flesh and blood.’
Annabel rolled her eyes. Talk about melodramatic. Although she should’ve known Katy would take Rebecca’s side. She’d been doing that a lot lately. ‘She’s the one who came hurtling round the corner, when everyone knows pedestrians have right of way.’
‘Pedestrians?’ said Katy. ‘Annabel, you weren’t on foot. You were in the middle of the road on a skateboard.’
Annabel let out a child-like giggle. ‘I know and you should have seen me, I was like the wind. Honestly, it was so much fun.’
‘Your poor sister didn’t think so. And what if it had turned out for the worse?’
Annabel still didn’t see what all the fuss was about. As far as she was concerned, everyone was so serious these days. Anyone would think she had no right to enjoy herself. ‘But it didn’t, did it?’ she said, refusing to see anything but the funny side.
‘I don’t know what’s so amusing,’ said Katy. ‘There’s a reason they build skate parks, you know. Anyway, Rebecca thinks you’ve changed lately and after hearing about what you’ve been up to, I’m starting to agree.’
Annabel began to lose her appetite. ‘I’ve changed? Have you noticed what’s happened to her? She seems so worked up all the time, definitely more than usual and as much as she blames me for whatever’s going on, there has to be more to it.’
‘Then you should talk to her,’ said Katy. ‘Find out what’s going on.’
‘You think I haven’t tried?’
‘Then try again.’
Annabel knew she was right. Things were getting so strained between the two of them, someone had to do something. ‘I will,’ she said, although she didn’t exactly look forward to the prospect. Rebecca had been so furious on that skateboarding night that she’d stormed off in yet another huff. The likelihood of which meant she still had plenty to say on the subject. And as well as trying to get to the bottom of her sister’s problems, the porn magazine issue still hadn’t been resolved. It was safe to say that when the two of them did finally sit down together, they were going to
have one hell of a conversation.
The waiter began to hover and Annabel signalled that they weren’t yet ready to order. She returned her attention to the menu.
‘You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?’ said Katy.
Annabel stopped reading again. What on earth was her friend talking about now? ‘Excuse me?’ she said.
‘Dan. You’re sleeping with him.’
Annabel stared at her friend incredulous. ‘I most certainly am not,’ she said. Fed up with having to defend her actions when it came to her sister, she shouldn’t have to do the same with her best friend.
‘I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me,’ said Katy.
Annabel bristled. ‘I didn’t tell you, because there’s nothing to tell.’ To say she thought tonight was going to be fun, things weren’t quite panning out that way.
‘But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to though, does it?’
The evening of their almost kiss popped into Annabel’s head; his strong hands, firm chest and tempting lips. She tried to re-focus on what to have for dinner but felt herself flush red.
‘I knew it!’ said Katy. ‘I knew there was something going on the minute you suggested we come here.’
Annabel looked around the restaurant. ‘What’s this place got to do with anything?’ As far as she could recall, this was the first time she’d ever stepped foot through the door.
‘Not the place itself,’ said Katy. ‘The fact that we’re here at all.’
Annabel still couldn’t follow.
‘Yes, we might meet for lunch, but when was the last time we did anything of an evening?’
Now her friend really was talking rubbish. ‘A few weeks ago, actually,’ said Annabel. ‘When I first met Dan, remember?’
‘Oh, you know what I mean. That was for a specific reason.’
‘What, so the two of us catching up over a nice meal isn’t reason enough?’ Annabel made a mental note to never invite her friend out to dinner again. Especially if this is what she got for her trouble.
‘No, as a matter of fact,’ said Katy. ‘It isn’t. I mean, can you even remember when we last did something like this? Because I can, it was before Tom died.’
Annabel set her menu down. Was her friend trying to spoil the night? This might be the first time in a while that they’d visited a restaurant of an evening, but that didn’t mean she could come over all psychologist on her. As for Dan, he really was just a sperm donor, nothing more, nothing less. Granted, a sperm donor who happened to be introducing a bit of fun into her life and yes, there’d been a bit of confusion along the way. But what she and Dan got up to was no one else’s business. As far as Annabel was concerned, business separate to the rest of her life; it was everyone else trying to merge the two.
‘I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a relationship with Dan,’ Katy carried on.
‘Which we’re not,’ said Annabel.
‘God knows it’s about time you got back into the dating game.’
‘We’re not dating.’
‘And it’s obvious that you like the man.’
Annabel gave up. Her friend was clearly away with the fairies. Yes, she liked Dan. He brought out a side of her she’d long since forgotten about. In the silliest of ways imaginable she was enjoying herself again and it felt good, like she was re-joining the land of the living. Admittedly, there was no denying Dan was easy on the eye, but that didn’t mean she was ready to betray her husband. Surely her inability to even kiss him proved that?
Her mind began to wander as she thought about the kindness Dan had shown. He had so much to deal with at the moment, yet he still found time to think of her. As soon as it was over she’d forgotten about their Bucket List conversation, but he hadn’t. She wondered what man did that. What man put his own worries to one side to think of someone like her? Annabel smiled. Dan, that’s who.
‘I just want you to be careful,’ said Katy. ‘I don’t want you getting hurt.’
‘Hurt?’ she replied. ‘Katy, you don’t know what you’re talking about.’ If anything, Annabel felt confident of the complete opposite. Dan didn’t just turn up with his skateboard that night, he re-affirmed his commitment to her pregnancy plan. Something he did again a few days later, when they’d gone through the rigmarole of a pregnancy test. ‘In fact, you’re concerns are so misplaced,’ she said. ‘I’m even planning a shopping trip.’
‘A shopping trip?’
‘Yes. Obviously not for anything extravagant like a pram or a cot just yet.’
Katy looked horrified. ‘I should think not,’ she said.
The expression on her friends face was priceless, but Annabel didn’t care. She knew baby shopping was supposed to be a no, no until after she was pregnant, but how else could she prove to Katy that she was worrying over nothing.
‘But a few baby grows and scratch mittens, wouldn’t go amiss,’ she carried on. ‘You know the kind of things I mean, all the stuff that’s too cute to resist.’ While Katy continued to look at her like she’d lost the plot, Annabel began to imagine the rows and rows of teensie-weensie baby clothes to choose from. Now she’d given herself permission to buy, she actually felt quite excited at the prospect. ‘You’re welcome to come with me,’ she added. ‘It’ll be great fun.’
‘Annabel, I think you need to back up a bit,’ said Katy. Rather than being put at ease, her fears were clearly growing.
‘Why?’ she asked. ‘I’m going to need these things sooner or later, so I may as well get them now.’
Katy indicated to something over Annabel’s shoulder and Annabel turned, wondering what she was looking at. She spotted Dan, she felt her spirits lift. Now her friend could find out for herself what a great guy he was.
She waved in an attempt to catch his attention, but he didn’t see her and, disappointed, she had no choice but to watch him continue on his way, completely oblivious to her presence. Tempted to call out his name, she suddenly felt her heart sink. No wonder he hadn’t noticed her, taking a seat at another table he already had company. Not just any company though, thought Annabel. She noticed his dinner date, a long haired and, by the looks of it, a long legged, blonde, she suddenly found herself lost for words.
‘That’s why,’ said Katy.
15
Annabel heaved her shopping onto the kitchen counter, to say she felt tired was an understatement. She didn’t know why seeing Dan with that woman had affected her so much, but she’d struggled to sleep properly since. On top of that, she now had an abundance of this flower and that flower crowding her head. She sighed. With a last minute wedding to provide for, she certainly had her work cut out.
She thought back to the young couple concerned, knowing her job would be a lot easier if they’d had the slightest idea as to the kind of design they wanted. Then again, she supposed their indecision was understandable. From what they’d said, their wedding did seem very last minute. And to be fair to the bride, she had given her a starting point. She’d said her favourite colour was red.
Annabel’s heart sank. Red. Usually such an exciting and vibrant colour, moody even depending on the shade; today, however, it symbolised failure.
Up until now, she’d managed to keep a lid on her disappointment and, doing her best to quell it once again, told herself not to be silly. She’d known all along that getting pregnant wouldn’t be easy, her pragmatic side insisting only a fool would think otherwise. No, this morning’s bathroom visit didn’t really bring any great surprise. Her time of the month had arrived as it always did – even if it was a bit late on this occasion. Trying to be positive, Annabel told herself that thanks to today’s young couple, it was probably a good job anyway. With her current work load she didn’t have the time to deal with morning sickness, let alone to feel sorry for herself.
She scoffed. Maybe she should thank them for the welcome diversion.
Annabel forced all thoughts of pregnancy to the back of her mind. She refused to feel down and was determined to do the young coup
le proud; she let her mind drift back to the run up to her own wedding. She’d been so looking forward to their good old-fashioned elopement, followed by a weekend in bed. At least that had been the plan until Tom let slip what they were up to. She laughed. She should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to keep his excitement to himself. On the other hand, her soon-to-be husband should have known not to tell his mother.
The woman had always been one for great displays of emotion, especially when it came to getting her own way. ‘I want to sit at the top table,’ she’d said. ‘I want a bunch of flowers.’ Annabel recalled her frustration as, before she knew it, the date had been postponed and her mother-in-law had elected herself wedding planner, ensuring every man and his dog made up the invitation list. It’s funny how things turn out, she considered. Now Tom had gone, it was a day Annabel would be forever thankful for.
She waited for the wave of loss that usually accompanied thoughts of her wedding, but this time it didn’t come. Yes, the sadness was still there, but she didn’t feel bowled over by it. Confused, half of her wondered if this was a good thing, a sign that, finally, she really was moving on. The other half felt like a traitor to her marriage. Something else Annabel didn’t want to think about.
She turned her attention to the bag of shopping and the evening ahead. An evening that would no doubt finish the day in the same way it had started – miserably. Tempted to rearrange, she knew that would only be delaying the inevitable. She and Rebecca had to sort things out at some point and she supposed tonight was as good a night as any.
Annabel emptied the bag’s contents, her purchases looked pitiful and she wished she’d made more of an effort. Not that there was anything she could do about it now. A bottle of wine and a couple of ready meals might not be up to her sister’s exacting standards, but, on this occasion, the woman would just have to like it or lump it. She imagined Rebecca going all out to produce some fabulous gourmet meal were she the host and not the guest. But trying not to be too hard on herself, it wasn’t as if Annabel hadn’t intended on delighting her sister’s taste buds. Wandering around the supermarket, her heart just hadn’t been in it. ‘You’ll have to do,’ she’d said, picking up a couple of lasagnes. However, looking at them now, sitting there waiting to be pierced and popped into the microwave, she couldn’t help but sigh. There was no way they were going to look as good on the plate as they did on the packaging.
The Trouble With Words: a heart-warming romantic comedy Page 12
