Insolence

by Lex Valentine

  She seemed almost incandescent with her heart bared for him to finally see and he felt something inside him give way as he realized what she’d kept hidden from him. A haunting, deep-seated yearning. Fierce emotion and want. Endless lust and a deep agony that made his heart ache to see etched on her face. Instantly he wanted to take her in his arms and soothe away her hurts.

  “It’s hard because I’ve spent twenty-six years dreaming about you, waiting for something that I now know wasn’t ever going to be mine. I spent those years hoping that one day my dreams would come true,” she rasped, her voice rough and uneven with obviously suppressed tears. “They’re all gone now. I really tried to make them happen. I came here with that express purpose but—” She broke off on a shrug, pulling her arm free of his grasp. “All I’ve done is forced the truth to the surface and that’s ended all my hopes for the future.”

  At that moment, her words came back to Aric, the words she’d spoken at the bar when he’d asked her why she’d offered herself to him. “Because this is who I have always longed to be. Who you never let me be.”

  Damn it! He’d misunderstood her! He’d thought she wanted to explore submission but she’d meant that she longed to be with him in whatever way he would have her. She’d longed to belong to him and he’d never noticed. He’d never looked beyond the façade she’d always presented to him. He had never gathered up his courage, set aside the fact that they were best friends and thought about whether she could want him the way he’d always wanted her. He’d known forever that he wanted her but he’d always been too afraid to act on his attraction. Two nights ago in Insolence, Ainsley had been the one to act on the feelings that had always simmered beneath the surface between them. He’d still been in denial.

  Swallowing, she drew a shaky breath, her gaze boring into his. “Didn’t you ever wonder, Aric? Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe there was something more to me than what you saw? All I ever wanted in life was to come home to you. Why do you think I used to hang out at your house all the time? It had nothing to do with my parents’ divorce. It had everything to do with you. I felt like I belonged when I was with you.”

  Shoulders drooping, her gaze fell again and she turned away, taking a couple of steps toward the door before stopping. “I waited a long time before I gave up my virginity because I wanted you to have it.” A rusty, self-deprecating laugh escaped her. “My God. I was so naïve. So stupid. All the men I could have been with, men who wanted a chance to love me, and I turned them all down because I had this dream in my head of the two of us and how good it would be.”

  She spun around then, her eyes flashing fire. “And it was so incredibly good. So fucking hot I thought I would literally melt,” she snarled, her expression almost feral with defiance and pain. “Even you can’t deny how good it’s been between us. The chemistry is perfect. No one will ever measure up to you now, but you knew that when you brought me up here. You knew you would spoil me for anyone else, as if I wasn’t already ruined.”

  Bitterness dripped from her every word, and Aric stood in stunned silence trying to make sense out of them. At first, his head filled with images of her with other men, men who touched her and licked her and put themselves inside her. And the man who’d taken her virginity? He wanted to beat the man bloody. His hands clenched into fists at his side. His thoughts were irrational and he knew it, yet he couldn’t stop himself from thinking them.

  “This was my last hurrah. I came here to give you everything that I am, Aric. Give you what I would give no other man.”

  She walked back toward him, her spine straight, her gaze direct, the Ainsley he’d always known…and loved.

  “I’ve given you my submission such as it is, my body, my heart, and I can see that it’s changed absolutely nothing between us.”

  Her chin tilted up defiantly, with that touch of insolence that fired his blood. His cock stirred but he ignored it, his senses and emotions completely captured by her.

  “I came here to tell you I love you. I’m in love with you. I always have been whether you wanted to see it or not. I used to try to hide it from you, but not any longer. It’s part of who I am and I’ll be damned if I’ll spare your feelings by hiding my own.”

  Her voice rose slightly and the challenging expression in her eyes made him ache to toss her over his shoulder and carry her back to bed. But shock held him frozen as he tried to reconcile the fact that, despite his big, bad Dom lifestyle, when it came to Ainsley, he’d been a fucking pussy for years.

  “Since we’re done here, I’ll just get my things and catch my flight.” She turned away again. “I don’t think I’ll be coming home anymore. There’s nothing here for me.”

  Her long legs carried her into the bedroom so swiftly Aric couldn’t gather his thoughts to stop her. His head rang with her words. She loved him. She’d always loved him. Warmth spread in his chest. Happiness began to overtake the panic and fear that had held him in its grip from the moment she’d said she was leaving. She was his. She’d always been his. Possessiveness exploded within him. She loves me. She’d subbed for no man but him. She loves…me.

  Over the years he’d rejected woman after woman, knowing instinctively that none of them were right for him. He’d thought he just wasn’t interested in a relationship, but the truth was that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with them. The only woman he’d ever felt comfortable with was Ainsley, but for years he’d told himself that he couldn’t bear to ruin their friendship, that she wasn’t the kind of woman who could embrace a life of kinky sex. She could never even play at being his sub. She was too strong, too dominant herself. And he had been too fucking afraid to act on the emotion that now seemed to seep from his very pores.

  By the time Ainsley came out of the bedroom with her overnight bag, Aric had marshaled his scattered and overwrought thoughts. He knew exactly what he wanted and knew the lengths he would go in order to get it. His gaze tracked her across the room. She pressed the button for the elevator and stood fidgeting, waiting for it to come. She kept her face resolutely turned away from him.

  “I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

  Aric’s words were soft but the command was there nonetheless. Ainsley stiffened. Since she wouldn’t look at him, he walked over to her and cupped a hand beneath her chin, turning her head so that their eyes met.

  The door inside him that he’d kept closed for two decades sprang open. His heart soared, recognizing her as the one woman he’d always needed, always loved. He smiled at her, angling his body closer, his free hand taking her case from her and dropping it on the floor. He snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her closer despite her stiffness. Then he played his hand.

  “Will you marry me?”

  She became so still that he knew she held her breath. Finally she drew a deep, sobbing draft of air. “No.”

  Ice sluiced over him, instantly and painfully taking hold of his heart. “Why not?” he ground out, fear getting a toehold within him.

  She tipped her head back, looking up at him with a scornful expression. “Because that isn’t what I want and it’s not what you want.” Her lip curled derisively. “But for whatever fucked-up reason you’ve decided on, you don’t want me to walk out on you. Marrying you won’t give me what I need, Aric. It won’t make you love me. Now let me go.”

  His nostrils flared as possessiveness gripped him. “Never.” Knowing the elevator door wouldn’t open without his key, he pinned her against the aluminum surface with his body. “You said you love me. That makes you mine, Ainsley. I keep what’s mine. I don’t intend to let you walk out of here and into the arms of another man or another Dom.”

  She glared at him. “This isn’t about me being your sub, Aric. You were right. I’m not naturally a sub. But you’re a Dom and I love you enough to be happy fulfilling your needs. There isn’t anything I can’t or won’t be for you.”

  His breathing grew heavier with each word she spoke. His heart pounded like a jackhammer. His cock th
ickened until it ached. “Then be my wife.”

  A strangled sound rose from her throat. “No!”

  Aric decided the time had come to just take what belonged to him, what had always belonged to him. Threading his fingers through her hair, he lowered his mouth to hers. When his lips brushed hers, he said, “I love you, Ainsley. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”

  He kissed her, taking her mouth in a masterful manner, his tongue demanding entrance, his lips commanding a response. Over the past two days, when he’d kissed her like this, she’d whimpered and gone weak beneath his onslaught. Now she threw her arms around him and kissed him back fiercely. She took from him and gave back at the same time. There was nothing of the Dom and sub in either of them as they each gave from their hearts. With years of yearning to make up, they devoured each other with lips and tongues and hands.

  Finally Aric broke the kiss, wanting to lift Ainsley into his arms and take her to his bed—their bed—so they could seal their commitment. He’d never unleashed the emotions that currently swirled within him. All those years ago something inside him had recognized something in her, and he’d been wise enough to know that it would overwhelm them both if he didn’t lock it away deep inside himself.

  Early on they’d been too young, and later on he’d been too stupid. He’d gotten involved in the lifestyle and had lied to himself about why he held Ainsley and every other woman at arm’s length. But now he’d freed his emotions from their stasis and he wasn’t going to let her walk away from him.

  Pulling her along behind him, he marched into his bedroom and shoved aside a lithograph on the wall. He kept one of her hands clasped tightly in his as he manipulated the combination lock. The door swung open and he reached in, withdrawing a dark-green velvet box. He thumbed it open and tears sprang to Ainsley’s eyes.

  “Oh my God. It’s your mother’s ring,” she whispered reverently as she gazed at the sapphire surrounded by diamonds.

  “No, Ains. It’s yours.” Aric took her hand, startled to find that it trembled in his grasp. He drew her close, brushing his lips against her temple. “Two years ago, on your thirtieth birthday, my father gave me the ring box accompanied by the cryptic advice to ‘get with the program’. At the time, I didn’t realize he meant for me to give you the ring. I guess he knew more about my feelings than I did.”

  “He certainly knew about mine,” Ainsley whispered. “He’s always known how much I love you. He kept telling me you’d realize the truth one day.”

  Aric slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. Somehow he’d known it would. When he tilted her chin up to kiss her, tears ran from the corners of her eyes. He thumbed them away, unnerved to see her cry. She’d been a hurricane force in his life, and he couldn’t remember ever seeing her break down into this kind of emotional display. Twice since she’d come to Insolence that weekend, she’d shown him her tears, her vulnerability. The tears told him more than the bowing of her head and the lowering of her eyes that she was his.

  The kiss that sealed their commitment started slow and soft and grew incrementally as their lips parted and their tongues tangled. Heat seared Aric, sending spirals of lust through his body. Breaking the kiss, he went back to the safe and pulled out a big black leather box. He set it on the dresser and opened it, keeping his back toward Ainsley so she couldn’t see the contents.

  “Every now and then, I design special collars,” he told her in a matter-of-fact voice. “We’re holding a charity auction in a few weeks here at the club and this was to be my donation, but now I have a better use for it.”

  He turned to face her and she gasped, her eyes riveted by the black suede collar studded with silver spikes and diamonds.

  For all that their relationship wouldn’t be a traditional Dom/sub one, Aric still felt the need to collar her. He thought perhaps it came from the wholly primal urge to mark her as his own. When he stepped toward her, she dropped her eyes, her head bending elegantly, and his heart soared. He reached out and pushed away the dark fall of hair, exposing her vulnerable nape.

  With swift, sure movements, Aric collared the only woman he had ever loved. This time when he lifted her chin, her eyes blazed with passion.

  “I belong to you, Aric. I always have,” she told him boldly.

  Feeling a grin break out across his face, Aric faced the fact that he had always belonged to her too. “There are cuffs as well,” he teased.

  It amused him to find her wrists held out eagerly for the soft leather cuffs with silver rings and buckles. He kissed each inner wrist and flicked his tongue over the point where her pulse beat.

  “Later.” He laughed, taking her in his arms. “Shall we call my dad?”

  “No,” she said, laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

  The feel of her body pressed to his sent his temperature soaring.

  She sighed contentedly. “I’m not sure I believe it yet, so I’m not ready to share the news.”

  This time, Aric did scoop her up into his arms, finding that despite her height, she didn’t seem to weigh much. “I must be slipping. I can’t remember the last time a sub didn’t believe me,” he murmured teasingly as he carried her to the bed.

  She wound her arms around his neck and nuzzled the side of his face. “Well, I’m just the disobedient type, you know.” She nipped the lobe of his ear and whispered, “You’ll have to punish me for my insolence.”

  Aric laid her on the bed and covered her body with his, admiring how she looked with his collar around her throat and his ring on her finger. Symbols of possession. Symbols of love.

  “Oh I intend to punish you very thoroughly. Every day of your life,” he promised, and then took her mouth in a commanding kiss.

  Epilogue

  For a Friday night, the club seemed more quiet than usual. Aric stood behind the bar filling a tray of glasses for designated drivers while his head bartender Jamie leaned on the end of the bar talking to one of the regulars. Ethan came in once a month and always selected one of the club’s newest submissives, never the same one twice. He always consulted Jamie first and had a known penchant for tall women. Currently, his gaze tracked the tallest woman in the club. Aric’s woman.

  Despite the possessiveness that twisted inside him whenever someone in the club stared at Ainsley, Aric had learned right away never to publicly show the primitive emotions roused in him with regard to his wife. For one thing, it was a waste of time. Ainsley had eyes for no one but him. For another, she could take care of herself far better than he could care for her. The woman wasn’t a security expert for nothing, something Jamie was busy informing the Dominant at the end of the bar.

  “She’s Insolent’s new head of security. She also does security consulting for a half dozen other clubs in the area. And she trains movie stars in martial arts,” Jamie was saying.

  Ethan nodded, his gaze still glued on Ainsley as she chatted with a Dungeon Monitor. “She sure doesn’t act like a sub,” he told the bartender with a shake of his head. “If it weren’t for the collar, I’d never have pegged her as one.”

  Jamie snorted. “She’s no submissive.”

  The Dominant’s head turned as he watched Ainsley move through the crowd toward the bouncers at the entrance. “Then what’s with the collar?”

  Ethan’s interest in Ainsley made Aric seethe, but he knew better than to unleash his jealousy. His wife never thanked him for a public show of possession. He bit his tongue and let his employee do what he did best, steer men away from Ainsley and match them with an appropriate submissive to fulfill their needs.

  “The collar was an engagement gift from her husband.” Jamie refilled Ethan’s glass with club soda and gave him a smug smile. “She’s married to the owner of the club.”

  The Dominant’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Newlyweds? Last I heard Aric wasn’t married. His change in status seems rather sudden.”

  Jamie shrugged. “It’s not. They’ve known each other since the first grade
.”

  “And she’s not submissive.” Ethan rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he continued to stare at Ainsley. “For a woman like her, I’d be more than willing to forgo a lack of submissiveness.”

  “Don’t even think about it. Not only would Aric kick your ass into next week, Ainsley would put a hurt on you like none you’ve ever felt before. That woman is lethal,” Jamie warned the Dom.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t hit on her,” Ethan said with a grimace. “I don’t touch married women. But someone like her could be just what I’m looking for.”

  Jamie eyed their regular customer with keen intelligence. Aric barely hid a smirk as his employee moved in for the kill.

  “A woman like Ainsley isn’t made for scenes in a leather club. She submits to Aric because she loves him, but her submission is something private between the two of them and is based deep within their commitment to each other. You don’t want that. You want a different woman every time you come here. You aren’t looking for what a woman like Ainsley would have to offer.”

  The Dom raised his head, his expression startled. “I’ve collared subs before. I’m not afraid of commitment,” he protested.

  Jamie gave him a pitying look. “That’s not what I’m talking about. When you’re ready to take on a woman like Ainsley you come back and see me. Until then, I’ll just point you in the direction of the newest pain slut the club has to offer.” He gestured toward a leggy blonde wearing only leather cuffs on her ankles and wrists. “She’s not looking for a collar nor more than a scene or two with a hot Dom. I think the two of you suit admirably.”

  Ethan frowned, his gaze flicking over the beautiful blonde. “I suppose she’ll do for tonight.”

  A firm nod tipped Jamie’s dark-auburn head. “And when you’re ready for more, you know where to find me.”

  Slipping off his barstool, the Dominant eyed Jamie thoughtfully. “They say you’re a master at matching Dom to sub. You’ve never steered me wrong yet. Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something?”