by K. C. Lynn
“You little whore!” my father yells, but I ignore him and scoop up another and another, throwing them hard and fast at him. He raises his arms protectively, trying to block the blows.
“Katelyn, stop!” Nick tries to grab me but I dodge him and continue my assault.
“I hate you! I wish you were fucking dead, you asshole!” I’m screaming and crying so loud my voice is hoarse.
Nick finally grabs hold of me, locking his arms around me. “Stop! He’s not worth it. Just breathe—”
My father comes flying down the stairs in a rage, heading straight for me. Just before he reaches us, Nick shoves me behind him, sending me to stumble into the vehicle before spinning around and knocking my father to the ground with a single blow to the face. He rolls around on the ground, howling in pain as he holds his hands over his nose, blood gushing from between his fingers.
Nick storms over to me and opens the door to the SUV, pushing me inside. “Don’t come out! No matter what. Do you understand?”
The fury and determination set in his jaw has me obeying with a nod. Slamming the door, he strides purposefully back over to my father. My heart stalls in my chest when I see him pull his gun before grabbing my father by the shirt and dragging him to his feet, hauling him up the stairs into the house.
What’s he doing?
A solid two minutes pass before I hear a loud crash and my mother scream.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
I jump out of the car and am about to run up to the stairs when I remember my promise to Nick. Tears stream down my face as I pace back and forth, unsure of what to do, my heart racing in fear.
More grunts and another crash happens that has panic tearing through me. “Nick!” I scream. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
I still, listening closely. When I hear nothing my fear escalates to a whole new level. I’m just about to say screw it and rush inside when Nick comes running out with something in his hand. He tucks it in his back pocket, maintaining a strong grip on his gun with the other.
“Get in the car, quick,” he orders, tearing up the dirt beneath his feet.
We jump in at the same time. His door is barely shut before he’s peeling out of the gravel driveway. I stare at him, waiting for an explanation, his expression hard as stone.
“What happened?” When he remains silent I push again. “Talk to me. What just happened in there? Did you find out where Kolan is?”
“He doesn’t know where he is.”
“He’s lying. He has to be. With Kolan giving him money and coming here he—”
“He was fucking blackmailing him. That’s how he got the money,” he snaps.
“With what? What could he possibly have to blackmail Kolan with?”
His hands grip the steering wheel harder, accenting the whites of his knuckles. A cold fury pours from him like I’ve never seen.
“Nick! Will you tell me what the hell is going on? You’re scaring me.”
He shakes his head. “Just leave it alone.”
“I will not leave it alone. I have a right to know!” When he still doesn’t answer I look down, remembering he came out with something. “What’s in your pocket?”
He tenses. “Nothing.”
“Like hell it’s nothing.” Having enough of his games, I reach behind him.
“Goddamn it, Katelyn, I said no!” He tries pushing me away but I’m at a better angle than him, my hand small enough to fit between him and the seat. I’m able to grab some of what’s there before he successfully pushes me back and it sends him over the edge. “FUCK!” Panic twists his features, something I’ve never seen from him before. “Baby, please don’t look at that.”
Unable to stop myself, my eyes fall to what I hold in my hand. The entire world around me comes to a stop, horror washing over me as I stare at the picture. It’s my worst fear, something I never wanted to get out. Something I thought couldn’t hurt me again, but I was so wrong.
“Oh my god.” The broken sound of my voice is distant to my ears, the space around me beginning to close in. I slap a hand over my mouth as my stomach rebels. “Pull over!”
The vehicle screeches to a stop before I fall out into the ditch and empty all the contents from my stomach. Nick drops down beside me; his arms holding me close as he whispers in my ear. “It’s okay. I got you.”
My heart pounds so violently I can barely make out his words. I continue to retch until there’s nothing left. When I can finally breathe, an agonized scream tears from my throat. A scream so powerful it ricochets through the night air, echoing for miles.
“Shhh, please, Kate, don’t,” Nick pleads, his voice raw and gruff as he rocks me back and forth.
But I can’t stop, and I scream until there’s nothing left. Until I can no longer feel the humiliation and pain burning inside of me.
Until the person I’ve always been becomes nothing but a shell of who I once was.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Katelyn
The past
Fifteen years old
Opening the door to my room I peek out, checking to see if he’s passed out yet in his chair. My mother fell asleep on the couch hours ago, a cigarette still burning in her hand until I put it out.
I need to find that bracelet. I know he took it. I just pray he hasn’t pawned it yet. Kolan worked hard to buy it for me, and it’s something I planned to treasure forever. I thought I hid it well, but I guess not. The last time I saw it was yesterday morning so there’s a good chance it’s still here.
I tentatively step out when I see my father reclined back in his chair, his mouth open and a slight snore coming from him. The creak of the floorboards beneath my feet has me wincing. My stomach is in knots, hating Kolan has to work so late. I hate being here alone. I hate being here period and even more so knowing Kolan is only living here still for my sake. When he turned eighteen he wanted to move out and take me with him but my father threatened him. Told him he’d call the cops and have him arrested. Until I’m eighteen I belong to my parents.
The thought leaves me nauseous.
We could have run away, but I didn’t want to live on the run our whole lives, and I definitely didn’t want to leave Nick and Faith. So we agreed to wait it out until I was done with high school, then we’ll leave and move somewhere far away.
Things hadn’t been so bad up until recently. My father stopped hitting Kolan years ago, when Kolan got big enough to fight back. The memory of that final time has a shiver snaking up my spine. Even though he stopped hitting us, he found other ways to be mean. Mostly to me because he was too scared of Kolan.
My father’s always been an asshole, but lately things have been different. The way he looks at me is different. I began noticing it when I turned fourteen. It started with the hateful remarks. He would tell me it’s a good thing I grew up to be pretty because I have nothing else going for me. After the remarks came the looks. Looks that left me feeling sick inside—vulnerable and naked even though I was fully clothed.
At first I wondered if I was imagining it because he has never made me feel like that before. But it’s gotten worse lately, the leering stares and the things he says. When I left for school the other day he said if I kept dressing like a whore someone was going to make one out of me. The way he said it had bile rising in my throat and induced a terror I’ve never felt before. I had on my usual summer wardrobe of jean shorts and a tank top. Nothing different or revealing than what any of the other girls at my school wear. Summers in Montana are scorchers but I still put on a sweater after that. Now I completely cover myself until I get away from the house then change at school. It’s gotten so bad that I will only shower when they aren’t home and I never sleep. Terrified of what might happen if I close my eyes and leave myself vulnerable.
I’ve considered telling Kolan about it but he has so much on his plate already, and the whole thought of voicing it out loud makes me sick inside. It makes me feel ashamed of not only myself but also my body.
I l
ove doing hair and makeup. Cosmetology is my favorite subject, and when I graduate I want to be an esthetician. But lately I’ve even felt ashamed of that. Doing anything to make myself feel pretty has me feeling like I’m doing something wrong and that my father is right—it makes me a whore.
I’ve been staying away as much as possible, especially when Kolan is working nights, but sometimes it’s hard, and I hate imposing on Faith and Nick so much. Well, not as much on Nick because I love being around him, even when he’s broody. He not only makes me feel safe but important.
Like I matter.
Kolan said he wouldn’t be too late tonight so I want to find that bracelet before he comes back. Otherwise a huge fight will ensue with my father and him, when he finds out it’s gone.
The first place I search is my parents’s room. I close the door behind me with a slight click then start rummaging through everything I possibly can. Every drawer in the dresser, their closet, their bathroom, but I continue to come up empty-handed.
“No, no, no! It has to still be here.”
I drop down beside their bed, checking under the mattress and pillows. Lying flat on the floor I look under the bed, but can’t see much from the dim light in the room. Shoving my hand underneath I feel around and hit something hard. Clutching part of it in my hand, I pull it out and see it’s a small wooden chest with a dainty lock on it. Remembering the bronze keys I came across in my father’s nightstand, I retrieve them and hit pay dirt when I realize it’s for the chest.
“Yes,” I cheer with a hiss.
It has to be in here. Who knows what else he could have stolen and hid in here.
With that thought in mind I open the treasure chest, only to reveal that it’s not what I thought at all. Not even my worst nightmare could conjure up what I’m seeing right now. I blink rapidly, swearing it’s not real.
It can’t be real.
With a trembling hand I reach in and pull out one of the photos that’s in it. Photos of me that I never knew existed—me in the shower, while I’m dressing in my bedroom, and even one when I’m sleeping. The blankets had been removed and my nightgown pushed up past my hips.
My breathing becomes shallow as my heart races in my ears. Shame, humiliation, and disgust fill me, crawling up my throat. A sob escapes as I pull out every photo. There must be at least thirty of them, all of them dated over the last year.
How could he do this without me knowing?
The ones of me in the shower look like it’s coming from directly in front of me, and I quickly recall the missing tile exposing part of the water pipes.
“Oh god!”
I’m so caught up in my despair I don’t hear my mother stumble in half-asleep until it’s too late. She comes to a stop when she sees me, her sleepy eyes narrowing. “What the hell are you doing in my room?” she snaps, not seeing what I have on the floor next to me since I’m on the other side of the bed.
I swallow past the excruciating burn in my throat. “Do you know about these? Do you know what he’s done?” Grabbing a handful of the photos I stand, throwing a bunch of them at her.
Her eyes widen, but not in surprise…in fear. There’s also a level of disgust as she looks away. It’s clear she knows or at least suspected.
“Keith!” she yells, her voice shaky.
“How could you?” I ask, agony and shame burning inside of me. “How could you let him do this to me? I’m your daughter.”
Something that looks an awful lot like resentment washes over her expression, directed at me. “It’s your fault for doing this to him. If you didn’t prance around like a hussy he wouldn’t have done this. How do you think it makes me feel that you’re always one-upping me? He’s my husband!”
I gape at her, my heart shattering. “You’ve completely lost your mind.”
Before she can respond, my dad comes storming in. “What the fuck are you yellin’ about, woman?”
My stomach instantly recoils at the sight of him, my body quaking in anger and disgust. He takes in the scene, noticing the scattered pictures across the bed. His gaze snaps to me, not looking the least bit sorry or embarrassed, just angry. “What the hell do you think you’re doing in here? Get out!”
“How dare you,” I croak. “How could you do something like this?”
“I warned you, didn’t I? Told you if you kept it up someone was gonna teach you a lesson. It’s your punishment.”
“Punishment for what? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Bullshit! You prance around like a little whore. Even my friends make comments about you. If that’s the way you’re going to act then at least I’ll make money from it. Tim paid some good coin for a couple of those.”
Bile rises in my throat, my disgust reaching a whole new level. “Your friends are fucking perverts, just like you, and you’re all gonna pay!”
His eyes narrow dangerously as he points his finger at me. “You’re gonna be a good girl, Katie, and keep your fucking mouth shut. You owe it to me.”
“I don’t owe you a damn thing.” I start gathering up all the pictures.
“What are you doing? Put them down and get out.” When I ignore him, he stalks toward me. “I told you to put them down!” He backhands me, pain instantly exploding through my head. I stumble back and trip, falling to the ground.
Holding my cheek, I stare up at him.
“You’ve forgotten your manners, little girl. It’s been too long. Time for a reminder.”
Terror grips me as he starts removing his belt. I try to stand but the pain in my head is still too fresh.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Kolan bellows, stepping through my parents’s bedroom door. A sob of relief escapes me. He rushes over and drops to the ground next to me. “Kate, you okay? What happened?” He brushes my hair aside and faintly touches the tenderness of my cheek. His furious gaze snaps to my father, but before he can get up I grab on to his shirt.
“Kolan,” I cry. “He’s done something really bad.”
“You shut the fuck up!” my father warns.
Kolan fires back his own warning before pulling me in closer. “Shhh. Deep breaths, Kate. Tell me what happened.”
Unable to find the words through the shame and humiliation burning my throat, I thrust the crumpled up pictures at him, burying my face in his chest, unable to bear witness to the disgust in his eyes.
I feel his entire body go rigid. “Jesus.” His words are tight with rage yet there’s a desperation in his voice that has me crying harder. He pulls me in closer, bringing his mouth to my ear. “Go pack as much of your stuff as you can and be fast. Don’t leave your room until I come get you.”
I worry about what he’s going to do but know there’s no use in arguing. “Be careful,” I say before standing.
My father rushes out of the room before I can.
“Go now!” Kolan orders before running out after him.
On shaking legs I race past my mother into my room, the same time a loud crash comes from the living room and I hear my father howl out in pain.
“You went too far this time, motherfucker!”
Grabbing a duffle bag from my closet I throw in as much stuff as I can fit and try to ignore the destruction happening outside.
“Kolan, stop! You’re going to kill him,” my mother screams.
When I hear a gunshot my legs threaten to buckle. Grabbing my bag, I run out into the living room to see my mother pointing a gun at Kolan. My father lies on the ground, beaten to a pulp, his blood splattered on Kolan’s shirt.
“Mom, what are you doing? Put the gun down,” I tell her.
Her hands shake uncontrollably. She looks as terrified as I feel, which makes me even more nervous about the gun in her hand.
Kolan is the only one who looks calm, yet rage still dances wildly in his dark eyes. “You gonna do the right thing for once in your life and shoot him?” he asks my mother.
Tears begin streaming down her face. “Get out of this house and don’t come back.”
“You’re as pathetic as he is,” he says with hatred edging his voice.
“Shut up,” she screams. “This is your fault. You’ve always pushed his buttons, you both made him this way!”
Kolan stalks over to her, sending panic to pulse through me. When he rips the gun from her hand I’m able to find air again. “I’m leaving, and Katelyn’s coming with me. If he comes anywhere near her again I’ll kill you both.”
My heart stops at the sincerity of his threat.
He looks over at me. “Go out to my truck. I’ll be right there.”
“But the pictures…” I whisper, trailing off as my voice cracks.
“I got them. Go.”
I had walked out of my parents’s house for the last time. That night Kolan stood next to me, hugging me as we burned every single photo that was taken. He swore to me he would find the ones my father sold and destroy them, too. He promised no one would hurt us again. It was supposed to be the end of our nightmare but it seems it wasn’t over.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Nick
As soon as I got Katelyn to calm down and we arrived back to the ranch, she left for the creek, saying she needed time alone. Time I didn’t want to give her.
“She gonna be okay?” Pop asks, his eyes tight with concern as he watches me pace back and forth in the kitchen.
I run my hands through my hair, blowing out a breath of frustration. “I don’t know, Pop. This… It’s bad. Really fucking bad.”
My gut twists with revulsion just thinking about it, fury still pumping through me hot and fast. After I dragged that asshole into the house I tried beating the information out of him, about why Kolan had come there. I planned on using a different approach but when Katelyn refused to go to the car and he made her explode like that, my control snapped.
Unfortunately, no matter how many hits he took he wouldn’t talk. It wasn’t until I put my gun to his head that Lorraine finally broke and told me about the blackmail. I didn’t believe it until she gave me the few pictures that remained.
