by K. C. Lynn
I knew he was a bastard, but fuck me, not a pedophile. How the fuck could Kolan keep that shit from me back then? I knew a big blowout happened when he took her but not that. Why would he keep quiet about it and not go to the cops?
Too many questions with zero answers.
Pop comes to stand in front of me, grabbing my shoulders. “You need to go to her.”
“I want to but she said she needs time alone.”
He shakes his head. “No. Being alone is the last thing she needs. She’s a strong girl but there’s only so much one can take. Take it from me, boy, she needs you. She’s always needed you.”
I don’t miss his underlying message. If he only knew how much I wish I could always be there, but he doesn’t understand.
No one ever could.
With a nod I walk out of the kitchen and grab a blanket before walking out to the creek. She sits in the same place she always used to, hugging her knees to her chest as she stares out at the moon’s reflection on the dark creek. She seems lost and really fucking sad.
I slowly walk up behind her, draping the blanket over her shoulders before sitting and pulling her back between my legs. She leans into me but remains quiet. I kiss the side of her head and decide to let her be the first one to speak.
For a long while we do nothing but sit and stare out at the creek until she finally breaks the silence. “This is the only good place in this godforsaken town. The only place I can be without the horrible memories constantly haunting me.”
The sadness in her voice shreds my insides. “It wasn’t all bad. Think about the times with Faith and her family. Or the times you had with Kolan and me.”
“What? Watching you guys play video games or tinker around in your garage with your four-wheeler?”
“Exactly. That was fun. Not everyone was privileged enough to hang with us.”
A soft chuckle escapes her, which is what I was trying for. “No, you’re right,” she murmurs quietly. “It wasn’t all bad, just most of it.”
I can’t argue with that. It was. She had a shitty childhood, and when it wasn’t her home life she had other people being mean, especially the jealous bitches she went to school with.
“Are you mad we didn’t tell you,” she whispers, her voice thick with tears.
“A little,” I admit. “I guess I’m just trying to understand why the fuck Kolan wouldn’t have gone to the police.”
“Because I made him promise not to.” I tense but remain silent, hoping she will tell me more. “I was looking for my bracelet he stole when I found those pictures under his bed…” She trails off and shakes her head. “I was so shocked, but I guess I shouldn’t have been. There were signs for a while.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to keep my voice level with all the fury pumping through me.
“He was always an asshole, but…not like that. It was when I hit puberty, got into cosmetology, and began learning how to do my hair and makeup. That’s when he started to look at me differently. It was like a switch went off and something else joined the hatred that was always in his eyes. I didn’t know what it was at the time, just that it made me uncomfortable. Then he started saying things, things that hurt, and it just spiraled from there. But never in a million years did I think he was doing that and…I just couldn’t, Nick. I couldn’t let Kolan tell or have anyone else see those photos. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. The people in town already looked at me like I was trash, it would have killed me if they knew all along they were right.”
I flip her around so she’s facing me, her words and tear-streaked face ripping my fucking heart out. “Don’t say that. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Only he does. He was in the wrong, Katelyn. Not you.”
She stares back at me, looking completely broken. “Then why am I the one who feels so dirty?” Her forehead falls on mine with a sob, her words hitting me like a punch to the gut.
Grinding my teeth against the pain radiating through me, I cup the side of her face, my fingers hooking around the back of her neck. “Because he violated you. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t touch you. He invaded your privacy and broke your trust long before that. He’s a piece of shit but his actions don’t reflect who you are. They never have and they never will.”
Slowly, her sobs subside and her hand finds the side of my jaw as she stares back at me. “You’ve always known what to say to make it not hurt so much.”
A small breath of relief leaves me when hearing that. “That’s good, baby, because I’d do anything to not have you hurt.”
Her eyes fall closed then her wet lips brush mine and, like always, it’s like a shock to my system. I pull her closer but make no moves to go further, letting her lead. “Take the pain away, Nick,” she whispers against my mouth, giving me the permission I need.
I growl before claiming her sweet lips.
*
Katelyn
This is exactly what I need at the moment—to be with Nick in the safety of his arms. Right now I want to get completely lost in him and forget about the nightmare I thought was laid to rest years ago. I need him to take the dirty reminder away and replace it with something beautiful.
His hands reach for the bottom of my shirt. “Raise your arms, baby.”
I do as instructed, letting him slip the material over my head. His warm lips immediately move to the exposed skin on my neck while his hands cup my bottom to bring me closer.
With a groan he pulls back. “Where’s that blanket?” I grab it from behind me and he tosses it out next to us. In one smooth motion he flips me to my back, coming over top of me. “This time I’m going to take time worshiping every part of you like you deserve.”
My heart warms when he starts at my cheek. He slowly trails his lips across it, eliminating the remainder of my tears. Then he moves down my neck, past my collarbone, and stops right over my heart, letting his lips linger. I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him close while a fresh set of tears spill from my eyes.
A moan escapes me when his tongue traces the swell of my breast next, edging the line of my bra. Coasting his hand up my stomach he flicks the front clasp of my bra, letting my cups fall free, exposing me from the waist up. A shiver racks my body as the night air whispers over my sensitive flesh. Nick reaches behind his back and removes his shirt before settling back in place, skin to skin. My gasp and his groan unite as the most incredible sensations shoot through my body at the intimate contact with him. I lift my hips, seeking friction. With a swift, hard kiss to my lips he ventures back down my body, trailing his mouth over every bare piece of skin he passes.
His fingers hook into the waistband of my black shorts before tugging them free, along with my panties. His large hands grip the inside of my thighs, keeping my legs spread as he stares down at me. The moonlight behind him casts a small glow across his strong, shadowed face.
A low growl erupts from deep within his chest. “You’re so pretty, Kate. I’ve been dying to fucking taste you again.”
Dipping between my legs, his tongue licks up the inside of my thigh before reaching my core. “Oh god!” I arch up with a gasp, my fingers tangling in his hair as he devours me with soft, heated licks of his skillful tongue. He drives me to the brink of explosion only to ease back and not let me have the release my body craves. “Nick, please.”
With a tortured groan I feel all the way through my body, he lifts my hips, sucking my swollen bud into his mouth and sends me flying. A cry spills past my lips as white-hot pleasure whips through my senses. I’m barely coming back down from the rush of ecstasy, when Nick moves up between my legs and fills me with one slow thrust, stealing my breath for a second time.
Wrapping my arms around his neck I bury my face against his shoulder, reveling in the way he completes me—body and soul. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, except with him. Nothing or no one has ever compared to the safety and pleasure he gives me.
“Jesus, you’re fucking perfect. Every part of you,” he groans
in my ear.
“I think you’re perfect.”
Actually, he’s far from your typical perfect but he’s perfect to me. Even the broken parts of him that won’t let him love me.
“You good, Kate?” he asks, his voice gruff in my ear.
Lying back I give him a nod. “Yes.”
He begins moving inside of me with slow, exquisite strokes, his eyes never leaving mine. He looks at me in a way I’ve longed to have someone look at me my whole life. Like I matter, like I’m important…like I am more. When it’s time for him to go back this is what I’ll remember. This is what I’ll keep close to me on the nights I ache for him, to remember that someone looked at me like this once. Even if I don’t get it for a lifetime, it’s better than not getting it at all.
Just like the man himself.
Reaching up, I cup his strong, stubbly jaw. He encircles my wrist and kisses the inside of it, right over my tattoo.
No words needed.
As more tears begin to fall he leans down and catches them with his lips. “Feel me, Kate. Feel nothing but me.”
“I do. You’re all I feel.”
“Just us,” he whispers.
“Just us.” I wrap my legs around his hips, drawing a growl from him as the position brings him deeper.
“Fuck me, you feel too good.” I can hear the restraint in his voice, feel it coiling tight in his body, his muscles flexing under my fingertips.
“Let go, Nick. We have all night.”
His voice sounds in my ear. “Only if you come with me.” He changes the angle of his thrusts and speeds them up, a little faster and deeper, hitting that hidden spot inside of me.
With a whimper my nails dig into his sweat-slicked shoulders, then I’m crashing over the edge for a second time.
“Ah, fuck yes, there you go, baby.” A few more hard pumps of his hips and he allows his own release. Stilling, he buries his face in the crook of my neck.
Several minutes pass as I hold him extra tight, reveling in our hearts beating as one. He presses a kiss to my neck, then my shoulder, then my mouth, lingering a little longer there. We both groan when he pulls out, and I instantly feel cold without him.
“Don’t move,” he instructs as he rolls off of me, pulling his pants back up. Taking his discarded shirt he cleans me with it. I’m about to reach for my clothes but he grabs them first. “No. I got them.” He grabs the small pile with one hand then wraps the blanket around me before picking me up. I wrap my arms around his neck in surprise as he begins carrying me back to the house.
“I can walk you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
With a soft smile I drop my head on his shoulder, the pain that was in my chest duller than it had been. As we make it to the front door I start to worry. “Do you think Pop’s still awake?”
He shrugs. “Probably not, doesn’t matter if he is.”
“Speak for yourself, your naked ass is covered up.”
He chuckles. “So is yours.”
Thankfully, all is dark as he steps inside, except for the front entrance light. Nick leaves it on as he carries me up the stairs and into his room. He tosses our clothes in the hamper then lays me down on the bed. For the briefest second my heart stops, wondering if he will sleep in the guest room. But my fear is obliterated when he closes the door, locking us both in.
I move to the far edge of the bed while he removes his jeans and slides under the covers. Before I can wiggle in close to him, he wraps both arms around me and brings me flush against him. My heart dances, loving he made the first move.
Looking up at him with a smile, I ask the one question I’ve been asking him for years, even knowing I probably won’t get an answer. “Tell me something no one else knows about you.” His silence and bland expression has me chuckling. “Still not ready to tell me yet, Nick?”
He grunts, unamused.
I roll my eyes. “Okay, fine. Then at least give me something. Tell me about Florida, or better yet tell me about your job. Is it what you expected? Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I do. A lot.” He’s quiet for a brief moment then shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s hard to explain, but from my first day at the academy I knew I made the right career choice. I loved it, still do, and it got even better when I was transferred to Florida. So to answer your first question, yeah, I like it there too, but mainly because I like my job so much.”
As much as I’ve missed him it makes me so happy to know he’s happy. He deserves it. “What kind of things do you do? Are there different divisions?”
“Yeah, there’s a lot. Counterterrorism, Public Corruption, Civil Rights, Organized Crime…those are just a few. But, depending on the case, I could work all of them. Remember Pop telling you at breakfast about Ryder and me taking down that big government official two years ago?” I nod. “Well, that case could fit into a lot of categories—public corruption, civil rights, organized crime. He ran a child sex trafficking ring and sold them at private political parties.”
My stomach recoils at the thought. “That’s terrible.”
“Yep. He was actually Emily’s father.”
I tense. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. That’s how she and Ryder reconnected. They knew each other back in high school but her father kept them apart. Ryder didn’t let it happen a second time.”
“Wow, poor Emily.”
He shrugs. “Not really. She’s better off without her parents. They treated her like shit.”
Maybe that’s why we connected so well. If anyone could relate to having shitty parents it’s me.
Nick suddenly encircles my wrist, stroking over the tattoo with his thumb. “Tell me about this.”
My light heart becomes heavier again. I shrug, unsure of where to start. “Like I said, it’s a reminder so I never forget again.”
“Who made you forget?”
I know what he’s asking. After what he heard when we were hiding in that closet he wants to know if it had to do with Vince.
“I don’t know, Nick,” I start softly, a sigh escaping me. “I lost track of what was important and who I was. I dated a few assholes. It seems I attract them, but Vince was the worst of them all. I met him at the grand opening of his club. I was there with a bunch of my girlfriends when he sent drinks to our table with a single rose for me.” I’m quiet for a moment as I think back to that night. “I was flattered that the attractive, very successful club owner picked me out of all the women there. It made me feel special. However, it spiraled fast when I realized he wasn’t at all who he first portrayed himself to be. He didn’t care about me; he only liked to have me on his arm to show off, like I was some sort of trophy. He thought he owned me and in a way…I let him.” I pause, that familiar anger and resentment filling me every time I think of him.
“What happened?” he presses, his voice tight.
“He got worse as the weeks went on and one night we got into a huge fight because he tried stopping me from going to a friend’s engagement dinner. He was only letting me go if I brought him along. I didn’t want to, but I was already late so I figured I would bring him and break it off after. Anyway, he acted like an asshole there too and was thrown out by the guys, one of them being the sheriff who’s a friend of mine.”
I think back to that night at Julia’s, remembering how kind they all were to me even though I had felt horrible.
“I was so relieved they got rid of him but it was short-lived. He was waiting for me inside my apartment when I got back. Cooper, my friend who dropped me off, hadn’t seen his car because Vince had parked around back. He was furious and it was then I found out how cruel he could really be.” I swallow thickly. “He’d been aggressive with me before but that night he beat the shit out of me. I could barely walk the next day.”
A growl rumbles in Nick’s chest, his body tightening beneath mine. The kind of reaction I suspected from him. It has me feeling embarrassed that he knew how weak I once was.
I think about stopping my story there
but then decide against it. “I was searching for something to take for the pain. I had pulled the drawer out of my nightstand, emptying the contents on the floor beside me because it hurt too much to stand. That’s when your stone fell onto my lap and it was then I broke. In that moment I realized that while I was searching for someone to love me, I forgot to love myself. I forgot I was worth more.” I blink back the tears threatening to spill, not wanting to ever shed another tear over it.
I’ve overcome it.
“That night, as I crawled into bed and held that stone tight, I decided right then I would never forget again. A week later I got the tattoo.”
Nick is silent for a long moment, making me wonder what he’s thinking. “Tell me the motherfucker paid,” he says, his tone dripping with icy disdain.
“I wasn’t sure how I was going to deal with it but it was taken out of my hands anyway.”
“How’s that?”
“Kolan had stopped by the next afternoon. He heard what happened at my friend’s house the night before, and when I didn’t answer his calls he got worried. To say he went ballistic when he saw me would be an understatement.”
Nick grunts. I’m sure he can imagine.
“He stormed out even though I begged him not to. I didn’t want him to get in trouble but there was no stopping him. He ended up putting Vince in the hospital. I was terrified he was going to press charges but for some reason he didn’t. I’m assuming he was probably scared of me outing him.”
“Or Kolan scared him enough.”
“Maybe.” Whatever it was, I’m just glad he didn’t. I would have never been able to live with myself had he pressed charges. Kolan would’ve lost everything he worked so hard for.
When Nick remains silent I glance up at him, seeing his jaw locked down tight. “What are you thinking?” I whisper, nervous to hear his answer.
“That it’s a good thing he’s dead because I’m not sure I’d be able to stop myself from doing it.” His words drip with fierce sincerity.
“It was my fault, too. I lost track of who I was, and I let him treat me badly for too long.”
