Learning to Love Again

by Chrissie Loveday

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Have you spoken to doctors at the hospital?’

  ‘Don’t say much do they? Can’t really understand what they’re talking about half the time.’

  ‘I could ask Doctor Meredith to give you a call, once he’s checked to see how your husband is.’

  ‘Would you really? That would be wonderful. I don’t like to bother him, though. Such a lovely young man, isn’t he?’

  ‘He’s proving very popular with the patients. Don’t worry. Your husband’s in very good hands.’

  As she drove away, Anna realised she had given herself a good excuse to speak to Joe again. Where had the ‘keep him at arms length’ resolution gone? Her mobile rang and she could see it was the surgery calling. She pulled over and answered it.

  ‘Maggie here. Can you call on Mrs Pierce? Trewaddon Village? She’s worried. Only six months into her pregnancy.’

  ‘No problem. On my way. I’ll be about fifteen minutes.’

  ‘Thanks Anna. I’ll let her know you’re on the way.’

  She turned the car round and headed towards the little village. It was another isolated place high on the moors, a few miles outside Landris. She frowned. Sandy Pierce had been trying for a baby for several years without success until she’d finally become pregnant this time. She would be devastated if she lost this one and time was running out for her. She turned on to the minor road and saw a tractor ahead.

  Anxiously, she hooted and the driver slowed right down and turned to look at the impatient person behind. He saw her blue uniform and recognised the car. He waved a hand before pulling into one side to let her pass. She wound down the window and called her thanks.

  ‘No problem, nurse. Mrs Pierce is it?’

  ‘That’s right. Thanks again.’

  Soon she was pulling up outside the cottage. She pushed open the door and called out.

  ‘Mrs Pierce? Sandy? It’s Anna.’ It was dark inside after the bright sunlight and she took a moment to focus. Sandy was lying on the sofa looking very pale. ‘It’s all right. Just lie still.’

  ‘Oh Anna, the baby will be OK, won’t it?’

  ‘Try to keep as calm as you can. Are you in pain?’

  ‘Uncomfortable rather than a severe pain. I’m not sure. I feel a bit sick.’

  Anna took out her stethoscope. The foetal heartbeat was still there, faint but discernible. She took her temperature and blood pressure.

  ‘The good news is that the baby’s heartbeat’s fine. Your blood pressure is a bit high, but that’s understandable in the circumstances. I’m going to suggest we get you into the hospital for a scan and we’ll see what they think about you staying in for a few days bed rest. Where’s your husband?’

  ‘He’s at work. He’s in an office in Trewin. He’ll be that worried.’

  ‘Well, I think it might ease your mind if we call him and suggest he meets us at the hospital. I’ll phone for an ambulance. I could take you in my car but it’s not a good idea. I want you to lie down flat for as long as possible. Don’t worry. I’ll let the surgery know where I am and I’ll wait with you.’

  Sandy was practically in tears as Anna made the arrangements. She packed a few things into a bag and picked up a personal CD player and some CDs. She saw some magazines on the side table and pushed them in too.

  ‘Anything else you’d like? You may not have to stay in, but it’s best to be prepared. Any pains?’

  Sandy shook her head.

  ‘Think I feel better now I know something’s being done. I hope I’m not making a silly fuss. I hope too I’m not keeping you from something important.’

  ‘Nothing more important than making sure everything’s all right for you. Now, shall I phone your husband or do you feel up to it?’

  Anna followed the ambulance to the small local hospital at Landris. The maternity unit wasn’t a large one, but it was popular with the locals. They wanted to have somewhere within easy reach and a place that wasn’t one of the huge, anonymous hospitals many miles from home. Once her patient was settled, she left her with the hospital staff.

  ‘I’ll call and see you later,’ she promised. ‘And this looks like your husband coming in now. Hello, Jack. Sandy will be pleased to see you’ Once she had reassured him that his wife was in good hands, she left them. Hopefully, a good spell of bed rest would enable them to keep their baby.

  ‘I’ve had one thought. How would you feel about some acupuncture? It’s evidently quite successful during pregnancy and I believe it can be relaxing. It’s just an idea.’

  ‘I’ll do anything that might help,’ Sandy said. ‘I’m not sure about needles sticking in me though. Does it hurt?’

  ‘I’m told it doesn’t and I confess, I’m not sure how it works. Just that it does. I don’t really know a great deal about it.’

  ‘OK. Go for it. I’ll try anything for this baby.’

  ‘The problem is, I’m not sure the NHS will cover the cost. I intend to ask about it but you may have to pay yourself this time.’

  ‘As long as it doesn’t break the bank, I’m willing to give it a go.’

  ‘That’s great. I’ll be monitoring you at all times. I’ll sort it out. Maybe when you get home again would be best.’ She went out of the ward, pleased at the response to her suggestion.

  ‘Hello. What are you doing here?’ called a familiar voice. Joe was coming out of another ward.

  ‘Patient of course. And you?’

  ‘Just called in to see Mr Brierley. He’s responding quite well but they’ll definitely need to replace his heart valve. They’ll have to take him to Truro of course, but he’ll come back here afterwards.’

  ‘Good diagnosis, Doctor Meredith. I saw his wife this morning. I’m afraid I promised you’d ring her to let her know what’s going on. Hope you don’t mind. Poor soul’s worried sick and says she doesn’t understand what the hospital doctors are telling her most of the time.’

  ‘I was going to call round and let her know. She won’t be able to visit him in Truro unless she can get a lift there. Maybe I’ll try to organise something for her.’

  ‘I hope you don’t mean you’d drive her there yourself? Not strictly correct for a busy G.P.’

  ‘And you always stick to the rules do you, Midwife Kington?’

  ‘Touché. Just don’t get yourself involved or every patient will expect the same treatment. By the way, I wondered if you could put me in touch with your acupuncture practitioner. I have a patient who might benefit. She’s here at the moment and wants to give it a try.’

  ‘I doubt our esteemed senior partner would approve.’

  ‘I’m planning to bring it up at the next meeting, but she’s willing to pay herself. She’s pretty desperate to keep a baby which seems to be giving problems.’

  ‘I’ll give you details when we get back to the centre. Gives me even more opportunity to spend time with you.’

  ‘I haven’t said thank you for last night. I really enjoyed it. Lovely meal. I was saying to Lucy, we should go there for lunch one day?’

  ‘Good idea. How about next Saturday?’

  ‘I meant I’d take her and Holly.’

  ‘Even better. I can’t wait to meet your little girl.’

  ‘Hang on. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. Not yet. She’s not used to having any men around and I don’t want her to be confused.’

  Joe’s face fell and he looked puzzled. ‘I’m not sure why not. But if that’s what you want.’ He turned away.

  ‘Joe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . . oh heck. We could meet you there, if you like.’

  ‘By a contrived accident, you mean? Chance meeting with a colleague. No thanks. Actually, I can’t do it on Saturday anyhow. I’ve just remembered. Evie’s invited us to a barbecue.’

  ‘Us? As in you and me?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But she doesn’t know me. And isn’t it a bit early in the year for barbecues?’

  ‘Not indoor ones. We specialise in them. So how ab
out it? Saturday? I can collect you about ten. Maybe have coffee with the delightful Aunt Lucy. Then I can meet Holly and the three of us can drive over to my sister’s in time to help with lunch. Mind you, the boys are a bit rough. Will Holly cope with a five-year-old and a seven-year-old.’

  ‘Slow down, Joe. You’re way ahead of me. Evie’s asked me and Holly to a barbecue when she doesn’t even know me?’

  ‘Organised it last night after I got back. I phoned her and told her I’d had dinner with the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met and she immediately suggested, well insisted really, that we go over there. She can’t wait to meet you. So, it’s all settled?’

  ‘Can I think about it?’

  ‘Not for long. I’m going back to the surgery now. I’ll meet you in half an hour. You can let me know then.’ He whirled away and left her standing in the corridor looking totally bemused.

  Joanne, the hospital midwife came out of the ward.

  ‘Anything wrong?’ she asked her friend.

  ‘Not really. I just feel as if I’ve been hit by a tornado. Have you met Doctor Meredith, our new locum?’

  ‘I’ve seen him from a distance. Looks rather dishy to me. Wouldn’t mind a closer look though?’

  ‘He seems to be taking over my social life, suddenly.’

  ‘Lucky you. Don’t knock it. I could do with someone taking over mine. I usually manage to miss out on most things. Being a midwife tends to get in the way of much social life.’

  ‘Tell me about it. Add on a toddler and that caps the lot.’

  ‘Enjoy yourself anyway. I’m sure the doctor will have the right prescription for you.’

  * * *

  Anna arrived back at the surgery no clearer about her decision. Introducing Holly to Joe and meeting his family all seemed to be happening a bit too fast. They hardly knew each other and she wasn’t prepared to risk upsetting her precious daughter. Ben would surely have hated her becoming involved with anyone else, however casual the relationship.

  But, Ben wasn’t here. Ben would never be here again and she had a lot of life ahead of her, with any luck. He couldn’t, wouldn’t expect her to live alone for ever. In her heart, she knew she probably would.

  ‘Do you mind coming into my room?’ Joe asked, almost the moment she entered the building. ‘Well? Can I confirm the arrangements with Evie?’

  ‘I . . . I haven’t decided.’

  ‘Right. That’s a yes then.’

  ‘But . . .’

  ‘You need taking in hand. I shall volunteer for the task. You’re much too indecisive. Time you lost that sad look and began to enjoy life as it should be enjoyed.’

  ‘You are quite outrageous.’

  ‘Prepare for an even greater outrage.’ He took her fingers and kissed them gently. He pulled her closer and she felt herself leaning to him and his arms surrounded her. Her head fitted very comfortably into his shoulder. As swiftly as he had held her, he let go again. ‘What do you think you’re doing, nurse? Anyone could come in at any time.’

  ‘Joe . . .’ Her heart was thumping as she realised that she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to be held by him. He wasn’t merely a replacement for Ben . . . he was someone else and she very much wanted to respond to him. ‘Joe,’ she managed to whisper, ‘I think I’d love to come to meet Evie on Saturday.’

  ‘Great. I’ll order extra bangers immediately. Now, get on with you. I have work to do here. Anna?’

  She turned and looked at him. His face was serious. ‘I do very much want to kiss you. Kiss you properly,’ he said softly. There was no laughter in his eyes as she spoke. No jokey line to cap his words. She felt her heart thud again. There was definitely some sort of magic between them. Maybe it was really only chemistry, but she felt there was a bit of magic in it too.

  * * *

  The rest of the day passed in a strange mixture of euphoria and trepidation. She’d agreed to accompany him on Saturday but all the time, she wondered if she were doing the right thing. It was rather soon to be meeting the family and also, for Holly to meet him. Everyone else thought it was a good thing that she should go out a bit more so she should stop beating herself up over whether it was right or wrong. But she found herself smiling every now and again at what was happening between them and the prospect of what might come.

  Always the professional, the only difference her patients noticed was that she looked happy today. She called at the hospital and was relieved to find that Sandy was still holding on. The scan had seemed normal and they were advising complete rest for a few days. She was pleased that her own thoughts had been confirmed. When she finally arrived home, it was almost Holly’s bedtime.

  ‘I left her for you to bath,’ Lucy said. ‘I know you like to do it, even if it is a bit late.’

  ‘No problem,’ Anna said happily. ‘Are you all right. You’re looking tired again. Maybe Holly’s too much for you to cope with. Perhaps we could get her into a playgroup a couple of mornings a week. What do you think? It would be good for her to mix with other children.’

  ‘I’m fine, dear. Really. Just been overdoing it, I suspect. Now tell me, how was your day? And the lovely Doctor Meredith? Any comments about your evening out?’

  ‘I had a good day on the whole. The usual round of things. One patient had to go into hospital but she’s holding her own.’

  ‘And . . . ?’

  ‘And Doctor Meredith has asked me out at the weekend. With Holly. Hope you don’t mind? He’s invited us to meet his sister and family.’

  ‘Of course I don’t mind. But to meet his family? That’s a bit soon, isn’t it?’

  ‘Perhaps it is. But I gather they’re very close. Their parents died a long time ago and Evie sort of took over the role. She’s only a couple of years older but I guess being a girl, she felt some responsibility. Anyway, it’ll be nice for Holly to meet some new people. There are two boys for her to play with. It’s all very casual.’

  Lucy looked a bit dubious, but made no comment. She sat down and put her feet up. It would be time enough to finish off the meal once Holly was in bed. She had mixed feelings at the thought of her niece going out with someone regularly. She would miss her and the little girl but she was sensible enough to know that Anna needed to find herself a new life. Besides, she might enjoy a little time to herself.

  When Anna emerged from the bathroom, her uniform was sodden. She should have changed before she started the extremely soggy business of bathing her daughter. Still, it needed washing anyhow, so it wasn’t a problem.

  ‘More water,’ Holly was yelling. ‘More splashes.’

  ‘No more. I’m too wet already,’ she laughed, bundling the little girl into a towel. ‘Now, let’s get you dry and we’ll see if Mr Teddy has kept your bed warm.’ She dried her and pulled on a pink nightie. ‘There now. Shall we say night, night to Lucy?’ She carried her down and found Lucy fast asleep on the sofa. ‘Let’s leave her to sleep. Ssh. Night, night, Lucy,’ she whispered and took Holly to bed. She read her a story and tucked her in.

  Downstairs, Lucy hadn’t stirred. Anna frowned. It was worrying. A couple of times recently Lucy had fallen asleep rather early and seemed lacking in energy. She hoped it wasn’t symptomatic of some underlying problem. She needed to keep a careful watch over her aunt.

  Anna went into the kitchen to see if there were any supper preparations to be done. There were two chops waiting to be grilled and potatoes peeled and left in water. She set to work and soon, there was an appetising smell coming from the kitchen. She peeped into the lounge but Lucy was still asleep. She wondered for a moment whether to leave her sleeping, but decided a meal was probably the best thing for her.

  ‘Lucy,’ she called softly, not wanting to wake her too suddenly. ‘Supper’s ready.’

  ‘Oh heavens. How long have I been asleep? I’m so sorry. I should have cooked supper.’

  ‘You’d got everything ready. Are you feeling all right?’

  ‘Of course I am. Just needed a little snooze. I’m fine now. M
ust be getting old.’

  CONCERNS OVER LUCY

  It was horribly wet on Saturday when Joe came to collect them. He was dressed casually in jeans and T-shirt. The close fitting denims hugged his slim hips and emphasised the broad chest. She drew in her breath, wondering why such an attractive man was willing to spend a day with her and a toddler.

  Anna had explained as much as one could explain to an almost three-year-old, that they were going to meet some new friends. When she introduced Joe, he put out a hand to be shaken and she solemnly took it, looking at her mother for approval as she did so.

  ‘How do you do,’ Joe said seriously.

  ‘How do, do,’ Holly replied and giggled. She held up her arms to be lifted and he did so. She stared at him and touched his chin. ‘Fur. Like Mister Teddy,’ she announced and giggled again.

  ‘I should have shaved, shouldn’t I? I didn’t realise I would be subjected to such close scrutiny. This is my Saturday morning face. No shaves. No suit and tie.’

  Anna watched the two of them together and smiled. There was an instant bond between them. Strange really, as her daughter had spent very little time with any males at all and was usually quite shy. Her colouring was very like Joe’s. In fact, a casual stranger might think Holly was his own child. Joe became aware of her staring and raised an eyebrow.

  ‘What? Why are you smiling. Just because I happen to have a very beautiful young lady in my arms, you’re jealous, aren’t you?’

  ‘Hush,’ she urged. ‘What will Lucy think?’

  ‘What will Lucy think about what?’ her aunt asked as she came in with a tray of coffee. She stumbled slightly as she came in and Joe leapt to rescue the tray.

  ‘Nothing. Just a little joke. You will have a good rest today, won’t you?’ Anna suggested.

  ‘Of course I will. I might even do a bit of painting.’

  ‘Don’t you go clambering up a step ladder while you’re in on your own,’ Joe said seriously.

  ‘Not that sort of painting. Canvas and small brushes only, I assure you.’ She gave a giggle.