Learning to Love Again

by Chrissie Loveday

  It was a routine clinic, with all except one of her patients turning up. She wrote up all the notes and phoned Landris Hospital to see how Mrs Pierce was doing. All was still well and they planned to discharge her in a couple of days. When she went to ask on Reception about her patient who hadn’t arrived, Maggie offered to phone and see why the mother-to-be had failed to keep the appointment. She reported back to Anna.

  ‘Seems she had someone coming to fix the washer and as she has three kids already, didn’t think it was important to get a check up. And before you ask, she hadn’t realised she needed to let us know about cancelling the appointment.’

  ‘I suppose she’d better go on my list for a home visit later in the week. Her blood pressure needs checking and I could do with seeing if she’d made arrangements for the rest of the children to be looked after, when the new one arrives.’

  ‘So, how’s it going with the gorgeous Doctor Meredith?’ Maggie asked.

  Anna coloured slightly. ‘He seems to be getting on well. Popular with the patients, from what I gather.’

  ‘Wasn’t what I meant and well you know it? You’ve seen him a few times, haven’t you?’

  ‘The bush telegraph had been working overtime, has it?’

  ‘So? What’s the news?’

  ‘There isn’t any. Is he in this morning by the way? There’s something I need to ask him.’

  ‘He’s still out but due back for the meeting at lunch time. You hadn’t forgotten it, had you?’

  ‘Course not,’ she lied. She had forgotten it of course, having planned to dash home to check on Lucy. Besides, she hadn’t packed any sandwiches so it gave her an excuse. Lucy hadn’t been capable of doing anything extra this morning. Still, she could always phone. They usually had sandwiches brought in for the staff on the days they had practice meetings.

  She went back to her room and called Lucy. Her aunt claimed that she was feeling fine and that Anna mustn’t worry. Having five minutes to spare, she used her own mobile to call Ben’s parents. Mrs Kington seemed pleased enough at the thought of seeing her granddaughter at the weekend but was not exactly welcoming.

  ‘It’s so long since we saw you. I expect I shall scarcely recognise Holly. What time will you get here?’ she asked in her rather slow manner.

  ‘I’ll start off as soon as I finish work. Probably get to you about seven.’

  ‘We usually eat at six. And won’t it be a bit late for Holly?’

  ‘It’s the best I can do. I don’t want to drive out of Cornwall on Saturday morning. The traffic’s usually awful. We can always eat before we leave if it’s a problem.’

  Anna was switching off her phone as Joe tapped at the door and peered round to see if she was on her own.

  ‘Good morning. And how are you today? Recovered from the overdose of Meredith company over the weekend?’

  ‘I’m OK. Just suffering from the usual lack of enthusiasm from Ben’s mother. I suggested I take Holly to see them for the weekend but her reaction was somewhat negative.’

  ‘Don’t go then. Spend it with me instead.’

  ‘I’d love to, but I do feel duty bound to make sure the Kingtons know their granddaughter. Besides, Lucy really needs a bit of a break. She’s agreed to come and see you if she’s still tired after a weekend on her own, by the way.’

  ‘Fair enough. Hope she does come. I’m a bit concerned about her. Try to persuade her. And if you change your mind about going away, we could always go somewhere ourselves. Couple of days in some nice quiet hotel.’

  ‘Joe, please. It sounds wonderful but . . .’

  ‘But nothing. My unfortunate sense of humour comes as part of the whole weekend package.’

  Anna couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Are you ever serious?’

  ‘Only when strictly necessary.’ His grin faded. ‘But I’m very serious about you. Still, I can wait. Good for the soul to be denied what you want most in the world and wait until the time is right. And believe me, Anna Kington, that time will come.’ He leaned over her desk and planted a kiss on her forehead before swinging out of the room. He turned again.

  * * *

  The practice meeting was more enjoyable than usual, sitting next to Joe. He obviously felt the same way about her and well, it seemed very silly to deny herself the undoubted pleasure of his company. She dragged her mind back to Doctor Whittaker’s words.

  ‘Now we come to the most important subject on today’s agenda. As you all know, Doctor Christopher is on sabbatical for a total of three months and Doctor Meredith is replacing him as locum. When those three months are up, I understand that Jim Christopher is planning to take up further research and wants greatly reduced hours here. With everyone’s agreement, I’d like to offer Joe an extension to the original three months, assuming of course, he is willing to stay.’

  Anna felt herself blushing once more. Joe hadn’t mentioned this proposal at all, assuming he actually knew about it in advance.

  ‘Well, Joe, any thoughts?’

  ‘I don’t know . . . I hadn’t thought . . . I mean . . . But thanks for the vote of confidence. I can’t be all bad or you’d be wanting me to pack my bags. Can I have a day or two to think about it?’

  ‘Of course. But I’m sure we’d all be in favour of an extension for Doctor Meredith, wouldn’t we?’

  There was a murmur of assent around the table. Joe looked pleased. Even though it was only a few months longer, it meant he’d be around for a while yet, assuming he accepted the offer.

  ‘I’d like to raise something,’ Anna said when there was a momentary break. ‘Sorry I didn’t put it on the agenda but I didn’t have time. The thing is, there’s been a lot of research recently into using complementary medicine in the NHS.’

  ‘Oh come now, Anna. Aromatherapy, you mean?’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking about aromatherapy,’ she said with a hint of mockery. ‘Though I hear it helps with relaxation quite a lot. I was actually considering the use of acupuncture during pregnancy and childbirth. There have been some very positive reports, and well, I’d like to consider using it here.’

  ‘I agree,’ Joe joined in. ‘I know a practitioner who had studied in China where it’s used in all the major hospitals.’

  ‘Far too expensive and it isn’t proven,’ Doctor Whittaker said dismissively.

  ‘But can’t we at least consider it?’ Anna suggested.

  ‘It saves on the cost of pain relief, actually,’ Joe added. ‘So it needn’t increase budget costs by very much if at all.’

  ‘Let me have figures. I’ll look at them.’

  The meeting rolled on until it was almost two o’clock. Appointments re-started at two fifteen, so the meeting was called to a halt.

  ‘That was a bit of surprise, wasn’t it?’ Joe remarked as they went back along the corridor to their own rooms. ‘Fancy someone wanting me to stay on a bit longer. Most unusual. Mostly they can’t wait to get rid of me.’

  ‘Didn’t you know about it?’

  ‘Course I didn’t. I would have mentioned it to you. I’d have liked to be told before, really. Save me looking as if I can’t string words together properly. How would you feel about it?’

  ‘I’d be delighted. Save me feeling pressured.’

  ‘Sorry? How do you mean, pressured?’

  ‘I don’t have to make any rushed decisions before you disappear again.’ He stared at her curiously but said nothing.

  ‘Exactly what sort of decisions?’

  She blushed and looked away. Perhaps she was jumping the gun. Making assumptions. ‘I’d better get on with my work. I have several calls to make and I need to get home early tonight. Thanks for the support by the way. About the acupuncture?’

  ‘I suspect we’ll have a fight on our hands. But one has to keep trying. Maybe they’ll change their minds over offering me an extension. But, if it helps with your decisions . . . whatever they are.’

  He turned and left her office. She swore quietly to herself. Had she mistaken Joe’s intention
s? Was she making too much of his odd comments? She forced her mind back to her work and made herself concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. She managed to finish the last of her visits early and called Maggie to let her know she was going straight home and would finish the paperwork there. She was still anxious about her aunt and wanted to try and take some of her workload.

  * * *

  ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked Lucy when she arrived home later that day.

  ‘Much better thanks, dear,’ she replied.

  They spent a happy evening together and indeed, Lucy did seem less tired.

  ‘I phoned Ben’s mother and we’re going on Friday evening. She didn’t sound very pleased about it but we’re going anyhow. Oh and Joe’s been asked to stay on at the practice for a further period.’

  ‘Oh, my dear, that’s lovely. I expect you’re pleased, aren’t you?’

  ‘To tell the truth, I’m not sure. I thought I was, but he seemed a bit strange about it. He hasn’t actually said yes, as far as I know. Said he wanted to think about it.’

  ‘Gives you more time to get to know him.’

  ‘Maybe. Now, an early night for you,’ Anna told her aunt. ‘I’ll bring you some hot chocolate to bed if you’d like that.’

  ‘You’re getting very bossy, young lady. But you’re right as usual. An early night is a good idea.’

  * * *

  The rest of the week flew by. She was on call on Thursday night, hoping for a quiet night before her journey on Friday. No such luck. She was called out around ten o’clock to a lady having a third child, who had begun labour earlier in the evening. They badly wanted a home birth and had waited for as long as they could before calling. The two older children were in bed and settled so the house was quiet. Madeleine was well prepared with everything ready, as she had been told.

  Anna listened to the baby’s heart and was satisfied that all was well for the moment. A little later, she attached the portable monitor and examined her patient again. She frowned slightly. The baby was almost ready to be born but the monitor showed the baby’s heartbeat was erratic. It was beginning to show signs of distress. She thought the mother was probably going to need help. She could really do with another pair of hands, but she knew the other midwife was busy elsewhere.

  ‘Excuse me a moment,’ she said and left the room. She pulled out her mobile phone and dialled the out of hour’s number of the practice.

  ‘Hi. I’m going to need the duty doctor to come to assist with a home birth. Quickly please.’ She gave the address and left the operator to organise everything.

  ‘Is there something wrong?’ the father asked anxiously when she returned.

  ‘Nothing to worry about. I just need some extra help. I’d like the doctor to be here too. I don’t want to prolong the labour and this should help. Besides, an extra pair of hands is always useful.’

  Minutes later, the doorbell rang and Joe came into the bedroom.

  ‘Hello there,’ he said cheerfully. ‘How’s it going?’

  ‘I’d like you to assist, please. The baby’s beginning to show signs of distress but Madeleine here is doing a fine job.’ Her professionalism allowed her to continue to work calmly and efficiently though she was certain her heart rate had accelerated considerably. Joe slipped off his jacket and tie. He examined the patient and nodded. ‘I’ll give you an injection now to stop the pain.’

  Madeleine nodded.

  ‘Exactly what’s happening?’ asked the father. ‘I don’t understand. She was doing so well and she’s had two babies already.’

  ‘Nothing to worry about. The baby’s having a bit of a problem making his way into the world. Maybe he or she’s a larger baby than the others.’

  Anna was giving a local anaesthetic while she was explaining. Joe was putting on a gown and opened the sterile pack with the equipment they would need.

  Eventually after one more hefty push the baby was born. Anna clamped the cord and gave the scissors to the father to cut it, nodding encouragement.

  ‘Wow,’ he breathed. ‘Thank you so much.’ His hands shook as he did it.

  ‘What’s going on?’ asked a little voice from the doorway. ‘Who’re all these people?’ Davy, the oldest child, was standing with thumb in mouth.

  ‘You’ve got a new little sister,’ his daddy told him. ‘Come and look.’

  Davy came closer and stared. ‘She hasn’t got any hair. And she’s a bit grubby. I thought babies had to be kept clean.’

  ‘She’s still very new,’ Anna told him. ‘I’m going to wash her in a minute. Would you like to help me?’

  ‘No thanks. I’m going to fetch James.’ He went into their bedroom and they could hear him trying to wake his little brother. ‘James come and see. James. Wake up. We’ve got a sister. There’s people here, who brought her.’

  Two small pyjama-clad boys stood in the doorway.

  ‘Come and look,’ their mother invited. Hand in hand they approached the bed and looked at the tiny bundle. The baby made tiny noises and they giggled.

  ‘She’s a bit little. And not much like a girl.’

  ‘There’s a present for each of you on the table. A welcome from the new baby.’ The pair scampered across the room and ripped off the pretty paper from the two packages.

  ‘Now it’s time you went back to bed. You can see her tomorrow and play with your new toys then.’ Their dad hustled them off to bed and Joe and Anna completed their tasks.

  ‘Can I get you a drink?’ the father asked.

  ‘Love a cup of tea,’ they all said together.

  Outside the house, some time later, Anna and Joe stood by their cars.

  ‘You did a good job there,’ Joe said. ‘In fact, you’re very good. Wasn’t it magic? Though you’re probably so used to it, it doesn’t mean so much any more.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it! I always feel like it’s the first time with every one. Thank you for not trying to take over. I appreciate it.’

  ‘I’m not even sure you needed me but I’m so glad to share it. I don’t see nearly enough of new lives. I seem to be bogged down with poor folk near the end of their lives. Especially here in Cornwall. Everyone’s favourite place to retire. Thank you, Anna.’

  ‘And I noticed no jokes or anything. Is this the professional you I still don’t know?’

  ‘Absolutely. Never joke when anything’s that serious. You still going away this weekend?’

  ‘Yes. Tomorrow . . . today, after I finish. Wish me luck.’

  ‘You wish me luck too. I’m on duty this weekend. Thought I might as well volunteer, as you weren’t going to be around.’

  ‘That’s taking it a bit far, isn’t it? Who’s the lucky doctor to be let off weekend duties?’

  ‘I don’t mean here. Lifeboat duty. I haven’t done it for ages as I’ve been kept to busy.’

  Anna felt her heart plummet. She’d almost forgotten about his other activities.

  ‘Just make sure you don’t take any risks,’ she said with a tremor.

  ‘I can’t promise that. But I’m glad you care. Now, home with you. You need some sleep.’

  Though she’d known Joe would be facing lifeboat duties at some point, she had pushed the thought away. She would be thinking about him on and off all weekend. Thinking about the all-powerful sea and the fact that men would be risking their own lives to save people who often disregarded safety warnings. She shuddered at the thought of water closing over someone . . . someone drowning. Would she ever be free of the visions?

  JOE MAKES A PROPOSITION

  It was a tedious weekend. Ben’s parents were clearly still resentful of the fact that Anna hadn’t alerted the rescue services earlier. She had told them over and over again her reasons, but they didn’t want to listen. She finally told them about Joe who had been part of the team and his suggestion that nothing more would have helped. Nor did they want to accept his theory that the boat had gone down instantly, before Ben could have sent a distress message.

  ‘Ben was
much too careful for that. He had all the best equipment on board. He must have been taken ill or something. You’re medically trained, couldn’t you see he was not well before he set out?’ Anna could hardly believe what she was hearing. This was a new tack. It was now her fault for failing to diagnose some terminal illness.

  ‘I think I’ll take Holly out for some fresh air. We’ll go and play outside for a while.’

  ‘Don’t let her go on the flowerbeds, will you, dear? The bulbs are just coming up and we don’t want them to be damaged.’

  The whole place was a child nightmare, Anna decided. Cut glass knick-knacks on every table. Priceless china left on shelves, well within the reach of the curious toddler. Kitchen cupboards with every sort of cleaning material known to man, all easily available.

  * * *

  By Sunday morning, Anna was more than ready to be off. How much she had wished she’d taken up Joe’s offer of a weekend away with him. She blushed slightly, glad that neither of her in-laws were in the least bit psychic.

  ‘I won’t leave too late. Lucy has been under the weather recently and I’m anxious to know how she is,’ she told her in-laws at breakfast.

  ‘You can’t possibly leave before lunch. We’ve got a roast specially. We know how much Ben loved his Sunday lunches.’ It must have been the hundredth reference to what Ben liked or didn’t.

  ‘Thank you. We’ll get off straight after lunch, though.’

  Neither of them showed much interest in playing with their granddaughter and seemed more concerned with keeping everywhere straight and clean and the garden tidy. Over lunch, Anna was amazed when they suddenly offered to keep Holly to stay for a week or two.

  ‘If your aunt is finding her too much, perhaps she could stay here. We’d like to have her to ourselves for a while.’ Anna’s mouth dropped open in sheer amazement. Let Holly stay here? Without her? Never.

  ‘I couldn’t possibly. But thank you for the offer. We haven’t brought enough clothes or toys and she’s quite energetic. You’d be worn out with her in no time.’

  ‘We hardly know her,’ Ben’s mother complained. ‘And she hardly knows us.’