by J L Park
“I guess you liked what you read then.”
She nodded, motioning me inside. As I followed her in, she put the book down on the table. “Wow, Reed. How did you not say anything to anyone?”
“The punishment of death is a deterrent, most of the time.”
She grimaced, remembering the Law. “True. That can be a little hard to come back from.” She smiled, “But, it seems like it would have been an amazing place to be. Why would anyone start a city like this, closing us off from the Outside? What the hell did he think he was protecting us from?” she murmured, conscious that neither of us was sure the apartment wasn’t bugged.
“Ourselves, maybe? Or at least, the consequences of being ourselves, if we were male? But he would have seen it as making it possible for men to be who he felt they were supposed to be, and those who are female to be punished and blamed for the negative that happen to them instead of men suffering the consequences as they were having to in the Before.” I paused, looked up at her, “Those women, who were stepping forward, when the Book was written, just before GreyBrook began, they had so much courage to step forward like, not put up with the behaviour of men around them, that had been going on for years it seemed. They stepped up and ended it. They gave me hope. I wish we had the courage to do that.” As I was speaking, her eyes had filled with tears, which she let spill over, as she nodded.
“Me too,” she murmured, wiping her face, “Me too.”
Silence followed, neither of us knowing what to say next. She picked the book up again and handed it back to put away safely, but she didn’t let it go. “The prophecies in it. Who is the girl wearing black? Do you think she’ll come in our lifetime?”
I smiled. “I hope so, Paige. I really hope so.”
Paige’s recovery to her pre-injury self came along in leaps and bounds. Watching her fight through every set back without letting it get to her, most of the time, my heart swelled with pride. She was so strong willed, and somewhat stubborn, that she wouldn’t let what she aimed to do be held back by anything, including falling on her face from time to time. There came a time that she no longer needed my help at home and I was required back on duty with Ferox. Maddox had set it up that part of a particular duty was someone popping in to check on her, just as he had for the other injured Ferox. They placed me on duty within the city, for the time being, so someone was at home with her overnight. Maddox seemed to have a soft spot for those who had been injured, particularly Paige. It was a little odd, given his usual nature, but I didn’t know how to ask Paige what the hell it was all about.
‘Taylor,” Maddox called me to his office, motioning me to sit and waiting for me to do so, "Taylor, I have had this morning received word that your father has taken ill. Your mother has requested that both you and your brother return home to Pius as soon as possible.”
I nodded, not upset by the news, which struck me as odd.
“I have organised transport for you that will stop in Luculentus to extract your brother and take you both to Pius. Please pack a bag and be ready to leave in 30 minutes.”
I nodded again, confused about my lack of feeling hearing my father was unwell. “Thank you, sir.” I stood to leave, and turned back to him, “Sir, Paige?”
“I have organised for Member Wilson to stay with her while you are away.” He paused, considering his next statement, “Should the worst happen, and your father pass, if you wish her to join you, I will send her."
“Thank you, sir.” I left the office and went straight home.
“Honey, what's up? You’re not usually home this early from duty?” She asked as I came through the door.
“Father has fallen ill,” I said, without feeling, “Mother has requested that Jameson and I come home. Maddox has organised transport for us both.”
Paige frowned. So it WAS weird he was organising transport, not just my suspicions.
“Oh… love. It must be pretty grave if Maddox is sending a transport to drop you off. I’m sorry… what can I do?”
“Maddox said he’d send you if he passes, and I want you there… Paige, I’m not sure how I feel about this. If he passes, yes, I want you there. But… I’m not sure how I feel about him being ill, or passing.” She frowned again, until I continued, “He barely acknowledged my existence, even less than was required by Pius parents. When I made myself known, he beat me until I behaved the way he wanted me to - to barely exist, to make as little noise and motion as possible. He tried to beat the outspoken, stubbornness out of me. When I left, the day I selected Ferox, he scoffed at the idea, belittling me until the last moment. I don’t know if I care that he’s unwell… or not.”
She nodded, a sad smile on her face. “Love, I get it. Trust me, I really get it. I have nothing to do with either of my parents anymore.”
“I thought your family was dead?” I blurted, she smiled again.
“As good as, as am I to them.”
I nodded, “I’m sorry. But… thank you for understanding.” I threw a bag of clothes together, containing mostly Ferox colours, as I didn’t have much else at the moment. I smiled in the mirror as I pulled on my jacket, with its team leader insignia. Even if he was sick, I’d take pleasure in seeing the look on his face. I had a small moment of guilt, why did I think of things like that when he could die? I shrugged it away and walked to the door. Paige walked me out, leaning in to give me a good-bye kiss.
“I’ll miss you. I hope that… ummm.” She looked torn about what to say next, you didn’t really wish someone a good time when their parents were sick. I smiled and let her off the hook.
“I’ll miss you too, and… thanks.” I kissed her again and left.
The transport was waiting for me when I got back to HQ. Maddox nodded from the door of his office, as I stepped inside, and shut the door behind me. I was alone in the back of the transport, unable to speak to whoever was controlling this vehicle. I glanced around, noticing a drinks bar in the corner, grabbing myself a cold soda. Maddox hadn’t given me any idea what to expect when I got to Pius, had said nothing about what was wrong with my Father. Sipping the soda, I sat back thinking about what it could mean. I wondered if Jameson had got more information from his Section Leader. The blacked-out windows of the vehicle I was in meant I had no idea where we were, and how we were getting there - all I knew was it was a vehicle of some sort, but even climbing into it I wasn’t sure what you’d call it - it wasn’t a car, or a tram, or a chopper - it was almost a mix of all three and extremely quiet. It was only as the door opened to reveal Jameson standing there that I realised we had stopped. He looked shaken, and distraught. I moved over so he could climb in.
“Hey Jam,” I murmured, “Welcome aboard.”
He flopped into the seat opposite me, taking the soda I handed him. “Hey Ree,” He muttered, lost in thought.
“Jam. What did they tell you? Maddox just told me he was sick, nothing else.”
Jameson looked up, frowning. “Reed, did they not tell you he has cancer?”
I shook my head, a little shocked. “How long have you known?” I asked.
“A couple of years.” I looked at him. I was only missing for a few months, I’d only been in Ferox for less than a year. Why hadn’t they told me? “I can’t believe they didn’t tell you.” He shook his head as I sighed.
“I can. It’s okay, Jameson. Let’s just focus on now.”
He looked at me, a quizzical look on his face. “How can you be so reasonable about it? I’d be so damn angry they didn’t tell me, hell I was when I realised they’d waited for a few months after finding out.”
I shrugged. “One of those things you get used to when you’re female in GreyBrook, Jameson.” I held his gaze for longer than he found comfortable, “Doesn’t mean I like it, but it’s not just me. It’s not just Mother and Father either. It's just how it is.”
He nodded, silent, thinking. “Jesus.” He exclaimed as his gaze wandered over my jacket, finding the new insignia, “Officially Team Leader?” I nodded, as h
e grinned, “Well done! Hey, I need to thank your Section Leader for commending my actions to Leader Wolfman, he’s really come through for me in getting into the project I was really interested in. What did they do for your team? I mean, we stopped the chaos together.”
I snorted, as I looked up at him. “Maddox thanked you for your service, which garnered you a large round of applause. He attributed our paths crossing as a stroke of good luck, all the credit to you for stopping the chips malfunction.” I laughed at his frown, “Jameson, what did you expect? You grew up in the same GreyBrook I did, did you not see the differences in the way they treated people? I’m shocked you’re shocked by this.”
“But without you and your team, I would never have got back to the computers, and been able to enter the code.” He frowned again, “I thought Ferox was different, that Maddox was different about females - I mean, we don’t have female team leaders for anything in Luculentus, it’s written into Section law. But Maddox has female team leaders all over the place. I’d have thought he’d be all over it.”
“So did we. You should have seen how angry some of them were when he brushed over it. But today isn’t about me. What's going on with Father? Is he dying?”
“I think so, Mother wouldn’t have contacted the Section Leaders to get us back if he wasn’t.”
We were both startled as the vehicle’s door opened again, letting us know it had stopped moving, and we were outside our parents’ house in Pius.
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that transport,” I muttered, standing outside the gate, trying to summon up the courage to walk up the path. Weirdly, Jameson was still standing right next to me, doing the same. I took a deep breath, muttered “Fuck it,” and stepped forward, walking up the path towards the house, feeling Jameson close behind. As I reached the door, Mother opened it, ready to welcome us home.
She smiled, somewhat sadly, as she took in the two of us. “Jameson, Reed. Thank you for coming home! I’m sorry it’s under such circumstances.” She reached out to give us both a hug patting Jameson’s back as she hugged him. She came in for a hug, her hands on my shoulders as she stopped, taking in the uniform, and its insignia. Grinning, she embraced me in a tight hug murmuring in my ear. “You did it, Reed! And a team leader already? Well done!”
I smiled, as she pulled away. “Thanks, Mother.”
She ushered us both inside, shutting the door behind her. “Your father in is the front room,” She glanced at me, looking ashamed, “Did Jameson let you know?”
“In the transport on the way here, yes.”
She nodded, looking away. It wasn’t the right time to discuss it, so I left it. Jameson was waiting for me to come into the front room, so with a sigh, I followed him through.
Lying in an adjustable bed in the front room, a pale, thin, shell of a man, who only barely resembled the man I had called Father. His hair thin, plastered to his head, greyer than when I last saw him, skin so pale it was almost transparent, like paper, draped over his bones as though he had lost all fat and muscle and was barely being held together by tendons and ligaments. His breath audible, not rattling, he opened his eyes as we came into the room.
“Children,” he murmured, as though there was little strength left in his voice, “Thank you for coming.” He coughed, his stick-thin arm coming up to cover his mouth, “Come closer.” I let Jameson take the lead, knowing Father would rather see him than me. Jameson took his hand when it was offered.
“Hi Father,”
“Jameson, I hear good things from Luculentus.” He seemed breathless, as though each sentence was costing him strength, “You stopped the day of Chaos?”
Jameson half nodded, before looking at me then back to Father. “That's partially true, Father.”
“Partially? What do you mean?”
“Without the help of a serious team of Ferox soldiers,” he smiled, “Lead by one fierce individual, I would never have made it to the computer I needed to use to re-write the code those guys had messed up.” Father nodded. “So, I owe them a lot of the praise I have received.”
“Have they not received praise from their Section?” he asked as they would have told him of Jameson’s actions, but not mine.
“You’ll have to ask the Team Leader of the team that helped me, Father.”
Father frowned, pausing before he asked further questions. “How would I do that?”
Jameson grinned at him. “Ask her yourself, she’s right here.” He stepped back, so I was in Father’s full vision. I caught a glance that grazed my jacket, then returned to Jameson, purposely avoiding my face. I bit the inside of my lip to keep from calling him out on it, and stepped back, but refused to lower my gaze in submission. This was not the time to cause trouble, regardless of the point Jameson was trying to make. I appreciated the thought, but would not cloud the last days of my Father’s life with arguments, even if it only benefited my mother.
“Father, please.” Jameson said quietly, “Acknowledge her actions, even if only this once. Reed was instrumental in saving Luculentus that day. I would have been injured or killed trying to get back, I’d already run into two groups of affected and only just escaped before I ran into Reed and her team of Ferox.” Father snorted, still refusing to look at me. I must have really overstepped the line when I said my piece the last time I was in Pius, for him to not even acknowledge I was standing there. “You know her becoming a team leader, when she’s only been in Ferox a few months is unheard of, Father? I know you are proud of me, you’ve told me several times, but would it hurt you to say you’re proud of her, this once? Cause I sure as hell am.”
I smiled at Jameson, nodding to acknowledge I’d heard him.
“Jameson, I think that's enough.” Mother was standing in the doorway, “Please leave your father to rest now.”
I nodded, patting the bed near my Father’s leg as I walked away. I could see the conflict on Mother’s face - she knew what it was like, had he not been so sick, she may have pushed him this time. Jameson sighed, leaning over to kiss Father on the forehead, and walked away.
“Jam, thank you for trying.” I reached over and hugged him, “I’m proud of you, too.” He grinned. After taking our bags up to our old rooms, Mother invited us to the table for a hot drink and biscuits.
“Reed, Maddox has called.”
I looked up, confused.
“He wanted to ask a favour if your Father was well enough. One of your colleagues is unwell and unable to take their duty shift tomorrow morning. He asked if you could do it? It’s okay with me, your Father is stable enough.”
I nodded, “If it’s okay with you Mother, I will contact him and take it.”
She nodded, “So, it’s been a while since we all spoke, what's been happening?” She seemed more relaxed, as though she could speak without repercussions, not that this conversation was likely to have any. She just seemed different.
“Aside from the Chaos incident? I’ve had a promotion to the project I was telling you and Father about the last time we spoke, it’s been really interesting.” Jameson offered.
“It sounded up your alley when you talked about it last time. I’m glad you got what you desired. Luculentus suits you, son.”
He grinned, “It does, very much. Thanks, Mum.”
She looked at me, “What about you, Reed? I heard parts of what Jameson was saying to your father. Is it true you lead the team that protected Jameson to get him to the computer he needed?”
I nodded.
“Really? That's wonderful!”
“It was my first time leading the group, any group for that matter. Maddox told me as I climbed into the chopper to go to Luculentus.” Her eyes widened. “But they’re an awesome bunch of people.” I grinned at Jameson, “He’s just lucky his big old mouth had me recognise him before I saw him, or they may have clocked him with a baton!”
Both Mother and Jameson laughed.
“I’m sorry we weren’t informed of this, Reed, or your Father would have had tim
e to think on it.”
I shook my head. “Not your fault. That's not how GreyBrook works, both you and I know that.” I looked at Jameson, “I didn’t expect him to acknowledge anything, and I’m okay with that. I knew what I was in for, and I know what we achieved, so that's what matters.”
He nodded, the realisation that things were very different not sitting well with him.
“That was a few months ago, what have you been up to since then?”
I glanced at Jameson, who had known Paige was injured. “I, ah, spent a few weeks at the hospital.”
Mother looked shocked. “Why wasn’t I told you were injured?” she interrupted.
I looked down unable to fight the submissive, ashamed habit when in Pius confronted by my parents. “It wasn't me who was injured Mother, but someone I care about very much was. So I stayed there until they woke up and then helped with their recovery. Until they were released and until this morning, helping at home.” Mother blinked a few times before responding, processing I was living with someone I cared about and hadn’t told her. Jameson had lowered his head, but not in shame, I could see by the side of his face he was trying not to give away he knew anything.
“Oh. I’m sorry your friend was hurt. You’ve not told me about someone in your life…” She looked at me, questions she wanted to ask, not sure how you ask your adult daughter.
“No, I hadn’t, Mother. There didn’t seem to be a right time.”
She frowned, as I realised I was digging myself a deep hole I didn’t know if I could escape from without having to tell her. “There is now.”
I stiffened, looking up at her, trying to fight the Pius habits of a lifetime. “Um, well, yes, there is someone in my life I care about a lot. They were injured in the Chaos incident, and it wasn’t clear if they would survive. We had parted ways before the incident, but I knew that day exactly how I felt about them, and thankfully I’ve had the chance to tell them and find out they felt the same way.”
