by J L Park
Mother smiled, “Lovely! What’s his name, Reed?”
I swallowed, glancing at Jameson who was investigating the inside of his cup intently all of a sudden. I kicked him under the table as I looked up to meet my mother’s eyes, my hands shaking in my lap. “Paige.”
To my mother’s credit, she only blinked convulsively as she processed the information I had given her, rather than fainting, or yelling. “Paige?” she squeaked.
“Yes, Paige.”
She nodded, swallowing as she looked into her coffee cup. What was it with the inside of cups that was so interesting?
“Is she good to you?”
I blinked, not expecting such a question. “Yes. Very.”
Mother nodded, “Good.” She frowned, “But, um, it might not be a good idea to tell your father.”
I snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. “I figured.”
She frowned again, thoughtful. “Reed, was she Pius before Selection?” I nodded. “Raeburn?” I nodded again. She shook her head, sighing.
“What is it, Mother?”
She smiled, sadly, at me. “I knew she’d chosen Ferox a few years ago, but her parents had reported her dead not long after.” I nodded. “That's just….”
“Following the Law.” I finished for her, “I know it’s worse than being Non-Sel in most of GreyBrook, Mother. Writing her off as dead means they need not acknowledge her existence as a gay woman - a double whammy in GreyBrook. Not to mention…” I trailed off that she had been Taken was not my story to tell.
“I was going to say cruel, but… I guess you are right, Law-wise,” she murmured, “That poor girl.” She looked at me, “Oh, not that she’s with you…”
“I know, Mother. Paige knows she’s dead to them, but the feeling is mutual, so I doubt there is any love lost between them.”
She nodded, pondering.
The conversation changed direction when she spoke again, to less controversial, and uncomfortable topics. Jameson looked up from his intensely interesting mug, and grinned at me before he answered the question Mother had posed to him. I sat back, watching them enjoy their conversation, not really listening, just watching the interaction between them. It hadn’t happened often when Father was well. I smiled to myself, daydreaming.
“Reed? You with us?”
I started out of a daydream, “Huh? Sorry, thinking.”
She smiled, “I was just saying you need to contact Maddox to find out what he wanted you to do.”
I nodded, standing and heading to the radio, dialling in the code Mother had written.
“Cohen.” A sharp answer returned.
“Leader Cohen, Member… er... Team Leader Taylor here.”
“Ah, Reed. Thanks, for getting back. Has your mother advised of the request I had of you?”
“You need me to take a duty here, tomorrow?”
“I do. It involves checking on the Non-Sels near Pius, and general security detail. You up for it? You’ll be on your own?”
“Yes, sir. What time do I start?”
“7 am tomorrow. I need you to meet Jorja Smith near the Sentry point. She’ll let you know where to go, but she will be on the other side of town from you. Reed, thanks for doing this.”
“No worries, sir. I’ll report in tomorrow.” I clicked off the radio.
Mother was in the kitchen making something for dinner when Father called out from the front room.
“Ah, that will be for his pain medications,” she murmured, looking at the mess on her hands, and frowning, “Damn.”
“Mother. What does he need? I can do it for you.” I offered, surprised when she looked relieved.
“There are pills in the cupboard there.” She indicated with her elbow, her hands covered in dough. “He’ll need two of the blue ones, with a sip of water. He has to use the straw, he can’t swallow it if you put the cup to his lips. The cup should be beside him on the dresser.” I fished the pills out of the cupboard, and nodded to Mother. “Thanks love.” Jameson was busy tinkering with our parents’ old computer and barely looked up as I walked past him.
“Father.” I said as I stood next to him, “I have your pain pills.” He looked up with a glare, surprising me with the anger in his eyes even as unwell as he was.
“Where is your mother?” He muttered,
“Up to her elbows in pie dough.”
“Show me the pills.” I held out my hand, two blue pills sitting in the middle of my palm, “Okay.” He opened his mouth for them.
“Don’t trust me, Father?” I muttered as I dropped one in his mouth, holding the straw to his lips to allow him to swallow the pill. He glared as he swallowed, opening his mouth for the second one, not saying anything. I dropped the second one in, repeating the process with the glass and straw. I waited for him to swallow before speaking again, “Anything else I can do for you Father?”
He’d stopped glaring, and watched me, considering. “No, no further pills.” I moved to leave, unsure of what to say to him that wouldn’t just be being nasty at this point. “No, Reed, stay.” I turned to him, frowning. “Please.”
I nodded and took a few steps back to stand beside the bed. “Yes, Father?”
He watched me, a weird expression flitting across his face when I didn’t back down from his direct eye contact like a good Pius girl. Almost a smile, which was odd. “You were always going to be trouble, young Reed,” he murmured, “You didn’t fit here. In Pius.”
“I knew that early on, Father. Have the scars to prove it.”
“Never knew when to keep quiet either, could never just let it go,” he paused, coughing, waving a weak hand for a drink. A sip on the straw later the coughing stopped, and he continued, “So, you got in then? In to Ferox?”
“Yes. They took a chance on a scrawny female.”
He allowed himself a small grin. “And I gather you have proven yourself, to be a Team Leader, then?” He nodded at the insignia on the jacket I hadn’t yet taken off.
“Apparently so.” I watched as he allowed himself to look at me, consider me as a human standing in front of him. He reached out to touch the leather of my jacket, so I moved forward, letting him rub it between his fingers.
“You were always a stubborn one.” He looked up, making eye contact with me, a look on his face that told me he didn’t expect me to cower any longer, “I’m glad you never listened to those who said you couldn’t. Including me.”
I swallowed, unsure just how to take what he had just said. “Ah… Thank you, Father.”
He nodded, his eyelids drooping with sleep now. I patted his hand as I placed it on the bed and left him to sleep. I stood in the doorway, looking back at the man I’d been a disappointment to for most of my life, astonished by the closest thing I’d ever had to him telling me he was proud of me. Fighting the lump in my throat, I walked into the dining room, Mother still bustling about in the kitchen.
“Just gonna have a rest, Ma.”
She grunted a response, busy with dinner prep, as I walked up the stairs, allowing myself to shed a tear. Of sadness or happiness, I didn’t know.
I stood in the early morning light, rubbing my hands together in front of my mouth, blowing on them to warm them up, waiting for Jorja to arrive at the Sentry point. A chin lift acknowledgement from the Sentry Guards, a different experience to being at the sentry point the first time, hiding under the produce Maria had been tasked with collecting. I smiled, as I pulled the zip on my jacket right up to my chin, stamping my feet to stay warm. I looked up to see a woman in a Ferox uniform, also rubbing her hands together, walking towards me, a car parked further back.
“Reed?” she asked as she approached
“Yes. Jorja?”
She smiled, “That’s me. Thanks for meeting so early out here.”
“No worries.”
“Rudy’s in the hospital with some random thing, so he can’t do his duty today. Maddox told me your dad was sick, but you were able to help.”
“That's correct. I hope Rudy
is better soon.”
“Me too. Listen, the duty he was doing today, was checking out the Non-Sels near the fence. Just making sure they aren’t venturing too close to the farms and the city. They’re pretty good usually, but we’ve had reports of a few getting too close. A couple can be aggressive, but just back off, they’ll be fine.” I nodded, “We usually make sure none are getting sick, ‘cause it’s… the right thing to do. Maddox isn't aware we do that, though.”
I smiled, “I’ll do it, and your secrets safe with me.”
She tilted her head, looking at me, a question written all over her face that she was too polite to ask.
“Yes, it’s me. The Pius Non-Sel Maddox took a chance on.” I grinned, “I could so easily have been one that I’m not going to say a word about checking that they’re well.”
She grinned back. “I think most of the Ferox who do Non-Sel and Fence Duty do check them out, find out if anyone is sick, and get it sorted. I mean, we’re all human, and so are they, right? Not to mention anything nasty they may have might be transmitted if we left it too long. It just isn’t on the list.”
“All good. What next?”
“After that, it’s just checking on the outskirts of town, moving in as you walk. Oh… the fence is a reasonable hike away, so we have a motorcycle in the shed over there. I’ll give you the code. It’s only for use to get to the Non-Sel Camp, and park it about 100 metres away.” I nodded, acknowledging I’d understood, as we walked towards the shed. "I’ll meet up with you later in the centre, call me if you need anything, or run into a problem."
She handed me a headset with the keys to the bike after she had unlocked the shed, waving as she walked back to the car.
It had been a while since I’d ridden a motorcycle, so thankfully it was a smaller one that I managed to manoeuvre out of the shed on my own. As I approached the Sentry, they waved me through after checking my Ferox ID.
“Have a good day, Team Leader Taylor.”
I nodded, and adjusted the helmet, kick-starting the bike, crossing my fingers in my mind that I didn’t wobble as I took off down the road toward the fence. It was rare for those who were not Arator, or Sentry Guards for each of their Sections to venture out of the city bounds unless they were Farmers. I still couldn’t figure out how Walker managed to get out to the shed every time, but I suspected he may have been a guard. It seemed that the outside of Pius was the same set up as the outside of Arator, down to the groves of trees I could remember from the impending darkness during my escape from Walker all those months ago. Zooming past the farms, the Non-Sel camps rose up in the distance, remembering Jorja’s instruction to park the bike 100 metres away, I slowed the bike down and pulled off the road, switching it off, and standing it on its kickstand. Pulling the helmet off, I ran my fingers through my hair, before tying it up again.
The weather had not warmed at all in the time it had taken me to get to the Non-Sel camp, the fires burning in large metal drums looked very inviting. I couldn’t imagine having to rely on that for warmth through the long cold nights coming up. I shook my head, I couldn’t imagine it, and yet just a few months ago it may not have been in my imagination at all. I looked up as I walked, rubbing my hands together. Several Non-Sel looked up from the fire, as I approached, frowns when they realised I wasn’t Rudy.
“Hi,” I tried, not expecting any response. A young female gave me a grin as she ran off to grab someone. I hadn’t realised that there were children out here. Even though I was aware there were generations of Non-Sel in these camps - once you are out, your future offspring are as well - it just hadn't occurred to me for them to be actual children. She returned with a woman who I assumed was her mother or grandmother.
“Hello. I’m Sarah. You are?”
“I’m Reed, Rudy has been taken ill, and so they asked me to come out today, for him.”
Sarah smiled, “I wondered. I hope he recovers soon. I guess you’re here to check on us then?”
I nodded, “Any problems? Any one unwell? Anything I can help with?”
Sarah nodded, “Come with me.” She motioned for me to follow. We walked through temporary shack structures to one at the back of the area, closest to the fence. It looked semi-permanent, so would be one of those who had been out here a long time. She ducked into the dwelling, asking me to wait with a motion of her hand. Poking her head back out to let me know it was okay to come in. Inside lay an older woman, with flushed cheeks framed by exceptionally pale skin, her eyes glassy and struggling to focus on me.
“Ma’am, I’m Reed. How long have you been unwell?”
Her eyes flicked to Sarah, too exhausted to speak. Now I was closer to the woman, a rattling as she breathed alerted me that there was something wrong, her breathing rapid and interspersed with coughing that sounded as though she had lungs full of fluid.
“About 2 weeks, but she’s getting worse.”
“Ma’am, may I touch you?”
She nodded, and I lay a hand on her forehead. Her skin was on fire. I looked between her and Sarah.
“Ma’am, Sarah. If it's okay with you, I will call Jorja, the other Ferox on duty for Pius today. She said we can organise medical care.”
Sarah nodded, and I left the shack, tapping my headset as I did, keying in the private code Jorja had given me so our conversation wasn’t broadcast to all of Ferox.
“Jorja.”
“Jorja, it’s Reed.”
“What's up?”
“I’m at the camp. There is an older woman out here, with a terrible chest infection, if not more. She’s burning up. They’ve given me the okay to contact you, but I don’t know what do from here.”
Jorja clicked her tongue in thought. “Leave it with me. I’ll contact our contact who is able to get out there, without too many issues with the Sentry staff. Who did you see out there? Sarah?”
“Yes, Sarah.”
“Right. Tell Sarah, that James will be out later on to see the woman, she knows who to expect. Any other problems?”
“No, not yet anyway!”
She laughed, “Good. Keep it up. Thanks for doing this today, Reed.” She signed off, and I headed back into the shack.
“Sarah, Jorja said that James will be out later, that you knew what to expect.”
She nodded and made sure the patient was settled on her bed again, leaving the shack with me.
“Thank you, Reed.”
“Are there any other problems I can help with?”
She shook her head, tilting it as she looked at me. “You’re new, aren’t you?”
I laughed and nodded. “Reasonably.”
She grinned. “You want to ask anything? You have that look about you.”
I smiled, and nodded, removing my headset so I didn’t tap it, by accident. “Yeah, I do.”
She motioned for me to follow her away from the camp a little. “Not the best idea to talk in front of some of them, what did you want to know?”
I took a deep breath. “It’s a couple of things. But it might be best to start with the fact that until a few months ago I was very nearly here myself.” Her eyes widened, “I was… umm… Taken on Selection Day, but have been classed as a Runaway so was given a chance to make Selection when I got back.” I caught a slow blink from her when she heard me say taken, a story she heard all too often, “Ferox gave me a chance.”
“Okay.”
“But… my question was - how did you come to be here?”
She smiled, “I chose this.”
I blinked, not expecting anyone to be as forward as she was being. “You chose to be Non-Sel?” I cringed, not sure if the name we had given them was offensive or not, “Why?”
“Because things in GreyBrook don’t sit well with me, never have. I couldn’t see a way that any of the Sections could change that, even yours. They either made things worse, or glossed over the bad bits, and I couldn’t sit back and abide by that.” I nodded, as she continued, “Like you, the fact that you were Taken. I bet, if they knew, you would
have been punished, yet they would laud the male who took you as a great example of manhood.”
“Yes, even in Ferox.”
She looked a little shocked that I had spoken my dissent out loud. She could speak freely as there was no punishment for doing so out here, as punishment for those who did in Sections was ejection, becoming Non-Sel.
“I couldn’t live with things like that, I couldn’t raise my children in an environment like that. And whilst this is a hard life, at least out here we are all equals.”
I nodded again. “If there was some way to make the change, to right the wrongs done to women in GreyBrook, to change the culture, the way things are done, do you think it would work?” I asked her, letting her ponder the question a while.
“I think it would take someone strong, and that wasn’t me. It would take someone relatable, and someone not afraid to stand up to the government. They’d need an army behind them. It wouldn’t be easy. But I’ve seen a change in the younger Ferox that come out here. They seem to regard us as more human than their predecessors ever did.” She looked at me, quizzically, “Have you got plans, young Reed?”
I grinned. “Maybe. It's fortunate that Rudy was off ill today. I needed to talk to someone out here and couldn’t get on the Fence Duty in Ferox. Thank you for your frankness and being willing to talk with me.”
She smiled and patted my arm. “Thank you for asking and thank you for trying to change things. It may not happen in my lifetime, but you may start something. I see it in your eyes.”
I smiled as we walked back to the camp. Bidding each other farewell, I walked back to the bike. Releasing my hair from the band, I let it flow over my back before I put the helmet back on. I kicked the bike started, and began the journey back, looking out for any Non-Sel closer to the city, but they seemed to be behaving this time, so instead, I enjoyed the view.
As I got closer to the forest groves, I slowed the bike down and peered towards the Sentry post in the distance. It didn’t look like anyone could see this far out, so I pulled off the road, and rode through the trees. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I knew I had to take my chance whilst I was outside the gates. I figured that because everything looked similar to the way the way the Arator farms and forests had looked that there had to be a shed in here somewhere. What I was hoping to find was that I was wrong, and there was no shed. But within a few minutes, I had spied a shed partially hidden in the distance. I cut the engine, and climbed off the bike, propping it against a tree, covering it with some large leaves. I snuck towards the shed, hoping that it was empty, if only because that meant no one has being harmed out here, but if there was any one out here, and who ever put them here was also here, I didn’t want them to know I had arrived.
