The Last Celtic Angel

by Wallace Jan Ecklof

  “Mother are you listening to me or not,” Deanna asks her?

  “Yes honey, what is it that you want from me, approval? I can’t tell you what to do, I don’t know the man.”

  “Well the problem is, he will not pursue how he feels about me while he is Katy’s therapist. Do I wait for things to work out or drop it and move on, I’m not really sure how he feels about me? I have some men that are asking me out, what should I do?”

  “Deanna I know nothing of this man, and you yourself think that he hides a terrible past. I think you should back away, let him help Katy if he is able and move on.” She can’t tell Deanna that she’s scared to death because then she will ask her, why.

  “Mother I have tried that, but it’s very difficult, because I see him a couple of times a week with Katy and about this story. How do I control what I’m feeling, he seems able to sense what I’m feeling? I am getting angry with him because I’m feeling frustrated, and I seem drawn to him the more I see him.”

  “Honey I will talk to you another time, the church ladies just pulled up, and I have to go. Just try to keep your distance and by all means don’t turn down any dating situation that may present its self. Say hello to Jonah and Katy for me, and I will talk to you for the holidays. I love you, Bye.”

  “Mother I still need to talk to you,” but she’s already hung up. Deanna was hoping that she would give her some insight as to what she should do about her feelings, but as usual she ducks the question and tells her to walk on the safe side. Just once Deanna would like her to tell her to take the plunge; she married Steve because she thought he was the right choice, being a successful attorney. Thinking about it now, she decides it was not a good idea to ask for her mother’s advice. Her mother thought Steve was perfect and they all know how that turned out. She should have waited until she knew him better than she would have seen he was a piece of crap and an ego maniac he really was not to mention abusive.

  Deanna always got along with Mary’s mother better than my own. She seemed to understand what she was feeling and gave her good advice.

  Deanna found the old albums the other day and was showing them to the kids. Moina was beautiful and she loved the horses so much, so did Mary. She had forgotten the times when she would take them shopping, even when Deanna was so young, and she had such patience with her, more than her own mother had at times.

  Her Father was very fond of Moina and Mary, Deanna thinks back on it now, she wonders if he ever thought about her in a romantic way, and Mr. Haskell was much older than her at the time. Her thoughts and imagination are getting the better of her.

  She says to herself, “Oh what am I thinking, that’s silly my thoughts are getting crazy. My father was Mr. Straight Arrow of our community; no skeletons in his closet, my Mother would have been more likely to have had an affair than he would.”

  Thinking back to the show grounds she’s still amazed at the way Jamie handled Steve, he was so confident in his ability. Deanna was quite scared when he lowered his voice and spoke to him, his voice was chilled, but without malice. It was like ice, cold and final. She sensed that Steve knew he was in trouble when he looked into Jamie’s eyes; they weren’t blue any longer, but silver, and hard.

  There was no warmth there, but when he turned and spoke to her, they were back to normal. Those are the things that bother her about him, his ability to react and change so quickly. She had the feeling that if Steve had not backed down that Jamie would have seriously hurt him. There is a level of violence that lies beneath the surface that makes him a dangerous person. In that respect, he is much like the horse, he rides, power, speed, and courage waiting for the time when it’s needed. It’s his confidence and a sureness that seems to make everything turn out alright; it just frightens her at times and today was one of those times.

  CHAPTER 16

  “Tanner’s Loss”

  It’s eight o’clock and Deanna’s getting ready to go to the office when the phone rings, “Hello Rosa, what is it, I can’t understand you, please slow down…? When did it happen?___ How is she now?___ I will be right there; do you need me to pick you up? ___ Alright I’ll see you there.” Hanging the phone up, Deanna grabs her bag and runs out the door.

  Katy is just coming out of the barn when she sees her mother and can tell by the look on her face that something’s wrong.

  “Mother, what is it? Katy calls out to her as she sees Deanna running for the car.

  “Irene was rushed to the hospital, and is in serious condition. Rosa just called and said Irene wants to see me immediately. I don’t have time to tell you more because I don’t know myself.” She yells to her, opening the car door.

  “Wait I will go with you, T. J. might need me.” She jumps in the other side of the car, her face is very white, but she’s in control. She is going to her friend in spite of what it may cost her. Deanna knows she can’t tell her to stay, these are the little breakthroughs that she needs, to overcome her own anxieties.

  As they drive in silence to the hospital she wonders what could have happened to Irene that would have caused her to be rushed to the hospital. Was there an accident at the Mission, or is it her illness, that they made reference too? Katy is pensive and chewing her nails and holding back the tears. “It will be ok honey; she’s in a good place, the best in the county. I’m proud of you for wanting to stand by your friend, she may need you.”

  “Mother what if her Mom doesn’t make it, what will this do to her? She just started to talk again after so long. Her Mom has to make it for T’s sake”. She looks over at her and sees that she is praying something she has not done since she was very little, her hands folded and eyes closed. She has come a long way.

  They pull up in front of the hospital and look for a parking space, finding one they run for the entrance and ask at the desk where Irene is. They said that they moved her to the intensive care, fourth floor. Deanna turns to go to the elevator when the security guard stops them and asks if they’re family?

  “Yes we are,” Deanna says without hesitation, knowing in her heart, she believes it to be true.

  Rushing to the elevator noticing that it is on the second floor, she hits the down button and the seconds seem like minutes and the elevator seems to be taking incisively long, to go from two to ground level. Finally, it shows one and the door opens, they jump in and Deanna presses four, and it slowly ascends. Getting to the fourth floor and exiting, they are greeted by the ever vigilante Eduardo. “Where is she, is Jamie here, where’re T.J. and Rosa?” She fires questions at him in rapid succession.

  “Senora they are waiting down the hall that way.” He points toward the west wing. “The Patron is with her now, so is the Padre. Rosa has the little ones at the TV room. Only a miracle can save her now Senora. The Patron is worried for Tanner; he is just sitting there and will speak to no one.” Eduardo turns and heads down the hall.

  As she walks behind him, she feels a heavy weight upon her chest, wondering what she will say to them. She has never been in this situation before, and doesn’t know if she can handle it. Rosa sees them from the lounge area and comes out and takes her hand, Deanna sees that she’s been crying, the tears have stained her face.

  “Senora, perdona mi[38], I did not know what to do. The Patron he is beside himself, we thought you might be able to reason with him, so that he may help her at the end. Eduardo says he was not even like this when his Senora passed. He has not shed a tear nor has he eaten since she was brought here. He will not leave her side, it’s almost like, if he stays with her, he can save her. He needs you Senora, and she has asked for you. Please you must help us to help him. Tanner will need him at the end and right now he can help no one.” Rosa pleads with her.

  Deanna does not have the slightest clue what she’s talking about. How could Jamie have prevented the illness and what’s causing it? What could he do other than be here with her? These people think he has some powers to change and alter the future. Is he starting to believe it himself?

 
Suddenly, the big double doors that lead into intensive care open and a nurse walks out asking, “Is there a Mrs. Gaynor here.” Deanna stands up and the nurse says to her to please come with her.

  Upon entering the ward, she sees Jamie kneeling beside Irene’s bed, his head bowed as if in prayer. He looks at her, but says nothing as she walks over to stand next to the bed. Irene opens her eyes and tries to smile at her. The exertion seems to bring on a coughing fit, and she has blood coming from the side of her mouth. Jamie reaches up and wipes it for her and strokes her brow, telling her to rest.

  He looks at Deanna and his eyes no longer hold the deep blue shade that they always seem to have, instead they are dark and brooding. She sees anger in them, but Jamie’s voice is soothing and his touch is gentle, standing there looking down on this very small woman as she is wracked with pain. She sees that his shirt has blood on it again; his wound seems to be bleeding once more.

  Irene takes his hand and pushes it away, opening her eyes, she whispers haltingly with great difficulty to Deanna, who has to bend to hear what she says. Jamie tells her not to try to speak, but she says she must.

  “Ms. Deanna…. Thank you for….coming,” Irene strains to speak. “I want to ask you….to….to do….something for me?” Coughing spasms cause Irene to choke on blood spatial. “Please help them look….after….my….my….baby….they are all she has….Please, Please promise ….me,” another coughing fit and more blood.

  Deanna leans close so she can hear her, “I promise I will do all in my power to help her always, and love her as you have.” Irene takes her hand and squeezes as tight as she can.

  She whispers again very faintly now, “You must trust...in him and help…to make it come true…..He’s trying….to....to take my pain….it’s… It’s too late now….You must trust…. remember trust in him…” She seems to have become unconscious, Jamie calls for the nurse to come and help her. The charge nurse comes over and takes her pulse and tells us we have to go outside as she calls for the emergency team stat.

  She takes Jamie by the hand, and he’s reluctant to leave her, “Jamie let them try to help her, it’s the only way.” Deanna drags him outside, and he looks at Tanner and just nods his head. The old man buries his face in his hands and breaks down.

  Father Scanlon is asked to go in, as is Tanner by the doctor, he says she has just moments more. Father Scanlon helps Tanner to his feet and guides him toward the doors, watching his hunched shoulders they feel his pain also. These people are bound together by love that Deanna has never seen. They feel this passing more than anyone would have believed. She’s been drawn in also, for Deanna gave her word to a dying woman.

  John’s words are ringing in her ears “Do not become involved, stay objective, stay focused.” How can she do that now?

  Father Scanlon comes out and tells Jamie that Irene has passed, and that they have things to do. They all look at Jamie and he seems to have aged, no longer does he have that vitality and strength that they’ve come to expect from him, he now appears draw and weak, Raising to his feet, he thanks Deanna for coming and turns to leave. “Jamie let me come with you, let me help. Please you should not be alone right now.” She begs him to listen to her.

  “Deanna, you don’t understand, now is when I have to be alone. I have things I have to work out by myself. I don’t expect you to understand I don’t quite understand myself, please try to help the others now and he walks away.

  Turning to Tom Scanlon Deanna grabs his hand, “Father, I don’t understand how he could leave them all here, and walk away as if he were the only one that matters, or is hurting.” She asks Father Tom angrily.

  “He is not walking away he is going to prepare for her resting place, she will be buried next to Mary, in this, we cannot intrude. He will do it by himself except for Tanner, who will be there already in case you have not noticed, for he is gone also.”

  “Father this is beginning to frighten me, it is like something out of, I don’t know what. Please tell me what’s happened here today.” He nods his head and sits down next to her.

  “For me to tell you that, I must first explain to you T.J.’s story I believe it’s time you knew.

  Tanner found Irene out by the quarry, and she was half dead. You see, T.J’s. Father had taken his entire family out there, and beat her mother so bad that he thought he had killed her. Her brother apparently tried to stop him, and he shot him, and then tried to kill T.J. as well. Thinking he had, he turned the gun on himself, we found that out later. Irene dragged or walked three miles through some pretty rough country.

  Tanner was out looking for a mare that was about to drop a foal, and he came upon Irene lying out in the saw grass. He carried her back in his arms to the ranch. It was nearly two hours before Irene was coherent enough to tell them what happened. She whispered that her babies were still out there, and that she had to find them. Tanner was with her when she spoke, and he told her he would find them and will bring them back.

  The Sherriff’s Dept. said they would have to wait until morning to mount a search party. It was storming that night when Jamie and Tanner rode out to find them. They looked for hours and hours, soaked to the skin, but neither would give up. Tanner heard a whimper in some scrub by the quarry, and it was T. J. Tanner told Jamie to take her back, and he would continue to look for the other child. He found him at daybreak; he carried the little boy back in his arms knowing that he was dead. You know Tanner never left her side for almost two weeks in the hospital, said he was responsible for her now as Jamie stayed with T. J. around the clock at the ranch.

  Irene recovered, but they found that she was dying of cancer, that’s what set her husband off, we supposed, the fact that he was going to lose her drove him over the edge. Jamie has done all he could for her since, the best care and the finest doctors just to give her more time.

  She knew that she was dying and asked Jamie to care for T. J. at the ranch full time. She didn’t want her to see her sick all the time. She sacrificed what precious time she had left, to give her daughter a chance on being normal. Irene didn’t want T.J. to be reminded of that terrible night when her entire world crashed. Jamie agreed and I took Irene in at the mission.

  He tried everything, treatments, drugs, herbs anything that might bring her relief. He promised her that she would hear her daughter speak again, and she did. He thought he could save her somehow, like he helps others in trouble or pain. This time maybe it just brought back that he couldn’t save Mary either, I don’t really know.

  Now you know T.J.’s story, maybe you will comprehend what drives the man. You keep searching for the truth to his past, when it’s the present that really matters. Since I’ve known him, he has done nothing but good for those around him. Even for those who knew him not, he’s given what he had. The Medallion you wear was left him by one who gave up his own life, So that Jamie could learn the meaning of his life.”

  “Father I have to ask you about his wound, how long has he had it and why hasn’t he had it taken care of properly, it’s been weeks, and still it continues to bleed.”

  My dear Deanna, I wish I could, but even I don’t know the mystery that surrounds his wound. There are certain things about Jamie that seem to transcend the realities of the present.

  Out at the ranch two figures stand under the big fichus tree and begin to dig in the soft earth, each one wrapped in their own thoughts. One is digging with anger while the old one seems to take more thought with each shovel of dirt he removes.

  “Tanner I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for her, I tried so very hard.” Jamie speaks out at last.

  “I saw what you were trying to do boy, she knew too, wasn’t only her you were trying to save it’s still about them others. You can’t do nothing about them, they are gone, and you got to stop, or it’s gonna kill you for sure, it’s those other babies what need you now.

  When my time comes, you’re gonna plant me here next to them? I ain’t ever asked you for nothing before, you know that, but I’m a
sking you to do this for me… Some folks, they ain’t gonna take kindly to a black man lying next to two white women. I don’t know where else I would be happy, except next to them that I’ve loved best…”

  “You promise now, right here with them as a witness.” Tanner stands and looks at Jamie, waiting for him to answer.

  “Tanner, this land, this place, was meant for all of those we have loved. We will all be here together, each and everyone one of us…”

  The day of Irene’s funeral was bright and warm, the birds were singing and the butterflies were plentiful. The casket was carried in a wagon laden with flowers as they walked to the plot of land known as Fiona’s Acre. Arriving at the little cemetery plot, Jamie and the rest of the men lift the casket gently and lay it on planks across the open grave. The old fichus tree offers them shade as Father Scanlon starts his eulogy.

  “Heavenly Father we beseech thee in Jesus name to accept our beloved sister Irene. She was a gentle soul who loved her Daughter and her friends with a genuine passion and honesty that we all came to love. Protect her with your love and make her welcome to your table. Give her the peace she so deserved in life, free of pain and suffering. May the Angels of the Lord gently come and carry her to your bosom. In Jesus’ name, we ask thee O Lord, Amen.”

  Deanna watches as each of those present passes and places a single rose on the casket. Rosa holds T. J.’s hand as she places her ribbon on the casket and says “I love you,” to her mother one last time.