Sweeter Than Tea

by Deborah Grace Staley

  “Her nana died right after Marie’s birthday, didn’t she?” Cami asked, looking at me and the camera. “I think it belonged to her grandmother’s grandmother too.”

  Marie and Evangeline came running up behind us, but Evangeline stopped further away, letting Marie approach alone. “Hey guys,” Marie said a little breathlessly. “We’re all in the same group!”

  “Are we with my mom?” I knew the answer before I asked.

  “Yeah.” Marie took me and Cami by the hands, pulling us towards Evangeline. Alice pushed us from behind. “But it’ll be OK. We’re together!”

  The parents and kids all split off into their groups, taking different routes once we were inside the zoo gates. It was a Friday morning during school, so the zoo wasn’t that busy. A few moms with babies in strollers and a few old folks my grandparents’ age. Hand in hand, Cami and I ran straight for the Bengal tigers exhibit. When we started planning the zoo trip in February, Daddy showed me the news article about a new Bengal cub that had been born. He’d gotten the school to schedule the trip for today since it was the first day the cub was to be on display. I still had the article on my bulletin board at home.

  Cami and I were at the fence already when the others caught up. The mama tiger lay sprawled out on a big rock, her giant body shading the cub. The cub rolled playfully against her belly as it batted at the air with its big paws. Mama tiger’s eyes were closed to slits, but her head swiveled whatever direction the cub moved.

  “Why don’t they have all the tigers in there with the mom?” Alice wondered aloud, pointing out the rest of the tigers behind a big fence at the back of the exhibit.

  “Because the other tigers could hurt the baby,” I informed her, feeling wise with the information I’d read in the paper. I hopped up on the bottom rail, leaning as far over the fence as I could to snap a picture.

  “That’s right, Meg,” Mama agreed, grabbing the back of my shorts and pulling back slightly. “Sometimes you have to introduce new members of the family slowly, so everyone can get to know one another.”

  “Sure wish my mom and dad had thought about that before bringing home my baby brother last year,” Cami said, somewhat jokingly.

  “A baby brother wouldn’t be too bad,” Evangeline said out of the blue. She watched the mother and cub intently, almost like she was seeing something else. Her chin rested in the palm of her upturned hands, her fingers drumming along her cheekbone.

  “I guess an older brother could be worse.” Cami matched Evangeline’s pose with her chin in her palms.

  “It is, trust me,” Alice chimed in, the youngest in her family and the only girl with three older brothers. “Older brothers are really bossy.”

  “Older sisters aren’t much better,” Marie added. “And they’re always in the bathroom or on the phone.”

  “A sister would be cool,” Evangeline added the same time I said, “I wouldn’t mind a sister.”

  We laughed at that, but I’d never thought about how different our families were from one another. Marie was a middle child. I was an only child. Cami, the oldest of two. Alice, the youngest of four. Was Evangeline an only child like me? Or the only girl? She didn’t say more, and I didn’t ask.

  “Who wants to go see the elephants?” Marie yelled, already pushing away from the fence and leading the charge to the next exhibit. Evangeline ran close on her heels. Cami and Alice followed suit but Mama pointed at my untied shoe lace and pulled me to a nearby bench. She sat down and patted a spot next to her so I lifted my foot.

  Mama reached for the shoe but I pushed her hand aside. “I can do it,” I argued, and went to work on the laces. I bite my nails so I wasn’t having much luck.

  She brushed my hands aside. “I know you can do it. Doesn’t mean I can’t help.”

  The attention felt good, but I’d never admit that to her. Being with Mama lately was a lot like being on a roller coaster. There’d be a slow climb but when we hit the top and pushed over the peak, we usually screamed a lot. Kinda like this morning. So we were on the slow climb again.

  Mama kept her attention focused on my shoe but asked, “Why don’t you like Evangeline?”

  The question caught me off guard. Evangeline had always been on the outside, but did she choose to be, or had everyone just kept her there because she was new? It never occurred to me to let her in. “It’s not that I don’t like her,” I explained, but it felt weak. “I just never thought about it. It’s just always been me, Cami, Alice and Marie.” When you said it out loud, it didn’t sound very nice.

  “There’s no room for Evangeline in there?” She finished tying my shoe, and I removed my foot from the bench. Mama stood, and we started a slow walk towards the others. “You’ve never had to be the new kid. It’s hard. I was a new kid once.”

  I knew this story. She and Granny and Papa Ted had moved to Belle Terre when she was my age, after they’d lost everything in Hurricane David. Her older sister, who I was named after, had been killed coming home from work after the boss wouldn’t let the workers leave early enough to avoid the storm surge. Papa Ted said that so much loss made family and friends more special because they could both be gone so quickly. Since Daddy died, I’d understood that more. I couldn’t remember thinking about Daddy during the day when he was alive. Now, I thought about him all the time.

  “Do you know anything about Evangeline?” Mama prodded.

  “Everyone knows she’s a scholarship kid.” I jumped in little circles, suddenly anxious to be away from these thoughts. “Someone said she lives near the school ‘cause they’ve seen her walking in the morning.” Sacred Heart didn’t have buses because it was private, so parents either had to bring their kids or, if they lived close enough, they walked.

  “She doesn’t live near the school, Meg,” Mama corrected. “But she does walk. She lives with her grandfather, and he can’t see well enough to drive.”

  I didn’t want to know why she lived with her grandfather. It couldn’t be good. I bounced further away from Mama. “Look, next year. I promise. We’ll make sure Evangeline gets included more.” And I took off to join the others. Mama called out my name as I ran away, but I pretended not to hear.

  We made our way quickly through the elephants and lions but skipped the petting zoo, all agreeing it was for babies. Mama kept moving us forward by promising we could ride the train over towards the monkeys and visit the gift shop. The train was always my favorite part. Back in October school closed for a day so the teachers could attend some meeting. Daddy took the day off work, and we’d come to the zoo, just the two of us.

  The train’s whistle screeched loudly, setting off the birds in the aviary. We ran the final distance just as the train was pulling to a stop. Mama went to buy tickets, first giving us instructions not to board without her. We all piled on moments later, Evangeline and I falling into the same row from opposite ends. I studied her from the corner of my eye as the train started to move. Words crowded in my brain but got lost on my tongue. Why was she walking to school if she didn’t live nearby? Mama would never let me walk alone in the mornings. Belle Terre was a small town, but not that small.

  I almost asked about her parents then remembered what Mama had told me about Evangeline living with her grandfather. “Have you ever been to the zoo before today?”

  Evangeline perked up a little bit, a half-smile tilting up the corners of her mouth. She pushed back a sweep of hair. “My daddy used to take me when I was little. We’d spend the day looking for pennies then go make wishes in the fountain near the sea lions.”

  “I know where that is! Daddy and I . . .” But I stopped, a pain in my heart stealing my voice. I looked away from Evangeline, suddenly scared I would start to cry. For the first time since his death, I wanted Mama to hold me.

  Evangeline scooted closer and reached out to hold my hand. Her fingers curled around mine, and as the tea
rs stung my eyes and clouded the world, I couldn’t tell where her hand ended and mine began. The train whistle screeched, and the train started to slow. As we pulled to a stop in front of the gift shop, Evangeline squeezed my hand once and let go. She hopped off the train without looking back.

  Mama rounded us up and pointed us towards the gift shop. Cami, Alice and Marie dashed off. I was about to join them when Mama grabbed my hand and told me to wait. I saw her slip some money to Evangeline real secretive, and when Evangeline shook her head and tried to give it back, Mama told her it was a reward for finding Marie’s necklace. Evangeline hesitated, staring into Mama’s face before giving her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Had I ever seen Evangeline smile so big? Had I ever noticed whether or not Evangeline smiled before today?

  I opened my mouth to protest about being held back, but Mama raised her hand to shush me. “I know. You’ll get to go to the gift shop in a second. But I need to talk to you first.”

  Not happy, I whined, “What did I do?”

  “You feeling guilty about something?” Mama laughed. “I just need to talk to you, and since you ignored me this morning, this is our best chance.”

  The memory of this morning flashed back. I’d still been angry about Mama forcing Evangeline into my picture. Curious, I let her lead me to a bench beneath a large tree.

  “I’m about to tell you a secret, and I need your word you will not tell anyone.” She cupped my chin in her palm and looked hard into my eyes. “This is very important, Meg. More important than anything you’ve ever done.”

  I nodded my head, scared and feeling like the night Mama came to tell me about Daddy’s accident. Whatever she was going to say would change things. Still, it felt kinda grown up that she would trust me with something so big. The thought of not sharing with Cami, Alice or Marie was a little strange, but the look on Mama’s face made me sit up a straighter. “OK. I won’t tell anyone.”

  “I’m telling you this because I think you have a right to know, and I want you to be part of the decision.” She let go of my chin but kept her body angled towards me. “Months ago Sister Rose Claude came to me and your daddy about needing a foster family. Do you know what that means?”

  “A foster family takes in kids that have nowhere else to go.” I swallowed hard, my mind filling in pieces of the puzzle before Mama showed me the whole picture.

  “Yes. Kids that have lost their parents or who’ve been taken away from their parents because they’re not safe at home.”

  The thought of not being safe in your own home was as odd to me as having no family at all. I followed the path that Evangeline had taken into the gift shop, thinking about her parents that hadn’t shown up to parent-teacher day or the Christmas pageant.

  “Your daddy and I wanted very much to do this, and we’d filled out all the paperwork so we could be the family this child needs.” Mama leaned back against the bench, taking my hand in hers. I didn’t pull away, knowing what came next. “After your daddy died, I wasn’t sure I could handle it on my own. Then I realized I’m not alone. I have you.”

  I twirled her wedding ring around her finger, focusing on that while lost again in the sadness and anger that filled me when I thought of Daddy. “You’re talking about Evangeline, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  Things in my stomach fluttered. “But she has her grandfather.”

  “Her grandfather is very sick. Evangeline has no one.” She tilted my chin up again with the tip of her finger. “I’m not asking you to give me an answer now. I just want you to think about it. One more question, then I’ll let it go for now. What did you pack for lunch today?”

  Confused, I shook my head. “I don’t know. You packed our lunch.”

  “Yes, I did.” She kissed me then walked off.

  I didn’t want to think about anything so important right now. I didn’t really know Evangeline beyond today but knew how she was treated at school. What would people do if she came to live with us? Would they treat me the same way? I didn’t like worrying about that, either. Daddy always said to treat everyone with respect. Would I have treated her different if someone had told me about her family? Probably, but that didn’t say much about me, and I knew Daddy would be disappointed. Shame flooded and warmed my face. But it wasn’t fair of Mama to expect me to do this. Hadn’t we been through enough this year?

  Alice and Evangeline ran out of the gift shop and plunked down on my side of the bench, interrupting my thoughts. I was relieved, actually. They were busy painting their nails with some glitter polish Evangeline had bought, and I watched the two of them huddle together like they’d been friends forever. I didn’t see Cami until she dropped down next to me on the bench.

  She lifted her hair off her neck and fanned her neck. “I don’t care what Mama says, I’m getting my hair cut this summer.”

  “I can French braid it if you like,” Evangeline offered as she put her nail polish back in her bag. Cami squealed her delight and within minutes, Evangeline had her hair neatly plaited. She tied it off with the ribbon around a packet of stationery she’d bought.

  “That’s awesome, Evangeline,” Alice said, waving her fingers through the air to dry her nails. “Can you teach me to do that?”

  Evangeline shrugged, and she seemed uncomfortable with the attention. “Sure thing. If I can learn it, anyone can.”

  Mama and Marie finally came out of the gift shop, and we continued on through the zoo. I fell back a bit as Evangeline ran ahead with Cami, Marie and Alice. I thought back to this morning when Evangeline wouldn’t sit near us, and now . . . it was like she was one of us.

  We were all getting pretty tired when Mama announced it was time to meet up with the rest of the class for lunch at the picnic pavilion near the front gates. Mrs. Leonard met us there with our lunches. Mama took our picnic basket, reaching in to grab something.

  “Go get us a table, girls,” she directed, and before I turned away I saw her pull the Baggie with our bread slices from the basket and toss it in the nearest garbage can. What was she doing? She silenced my question with a look, so I joined the others.

  Cami, Alice, Marie and I paired off across the table. While the others tore into their own sack lunches, neatly packed in plastic lunch boxes with carefully trimmed sandwiches, tin-foil wrapped drinks, and Baggies of potato chips and Little Debbies for dessert, I waited for Mama to set ours out. Evangeline unwrapped her own bag slowly.

  “Oh no!” Mama exclaimed, and we all stopped to see what was wrong. “I forgot to bring the bread for our sandwiches.”

  But I’d seen it. She’d packed the bread but had thrown it away.

  “I have some bread, Mrs. Adams.” Evangeline reached into the greasy paper bag and withdrew a can of Vienna sausages and a full loaf of bread.

  That was her lunch for today. Bread and Vienna sausages. I thought back to what Mama had said about her grandfather and how he couldn’t take care of himself. And even when we were fighting Mama always took care of me. I’d never thought about what to pack for lunch today. I knew Mama would take care of it. But Evangeline didn’t have anyone to think about her lunch this morning. Maybe Evangeline didn’t have anyone to think about her ever.

  Mama spread a large white napkin across the table between the three of us, connecting us like the three points of a triangle. She chatted about the day and about all the neat things we’d seen, especially the baby Bengal tiger and how the entire pride would help raise the baby as he got older. Everyone in the family had something to share with the baby, she said. Then I thought back to today and all that Evangeline had shared with people who’d never shared a single thing with her.

  Mama laid out her homemade chicken salad, chips, sweet pickles and cold drinks, carefully putting it all within reach of both Evangeline and myself. Some homemade pound cake sat off to the side, waiting for us at the end. Evangeline lo
oked like she’d never seen so much food before, and maybe she hadn’t. I didn’t think about what we’d have for lunch today, or any day, come think about it. I knew it would be here. Then again, I thought Daddy would always be here too. I looked at Evangeline and saw a little of myself. Only I still had Mama.

  Mama made up sandwiches and passed them around. We ate between the laughter, and it filled me up as much as the food. The tightness in my belly disappeared a little. I still had Mama, and for the first time since Daddy’s death, I was glad.

  After we ate, the others ran off, but I stayed to help Mama pack up the basket and throw away trash. There was so much I wanted to say but like before, the words got crowded and tangled in my throat.

  Mama hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “It’s OK,” she whispered, and I leaned against her for a minute, relief and happiness pushing away some of the sadness that still filled me.

  I found Evangeline a bit later at the water fountain. Twin streams of water shot from the pitchers on the statue’s shoulders, the glittery reflection of all the coins in the water twinkling on the little waves.

  “Look what I found.” I held out my hand, showing her the two pennies clutched in my palm. “Want one?”

  Breathless, Evangeline took a penny and held it tightly between her hands. “On the count of three?”

  We counted off together and tossed in our coins. I watched the coin twirl slowly to the bottom and made a wish.

  “Come on you two!” Cami corralled us from our spot in front of the picture collage and herded us towards the church baptistery. “A wedding waits for no one.”

  I lined up with Cami, Alice, and Marie, and waited while Mama adjusted the bow at the back of my gown. The organ music swelled in the chapel, and the familiar strains of Mozart’s Ave Verum Corpus echoed around us.