We both got dressed and after he’d blown out all the candles, we picked up the blankets and walked back to his truck hand-in-hand. When we got back the guys were still partying with some girls but quickly shoved them off when they saw us approaching.
“It’s about fucking time,” Ryder said, smiling as he climbed into the truck. “I didn’t know how much more of that girl’s perfume I could stomach. She smelled…I don’t know, sticky.”
“Gross,” I answered, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “I hope you wore a condom.”
“Of course I did. I’m the eternal Boy Scout,” he laughed, scooting across the back seat of the truck so Beau could sit next to him. Jude got in last so I climbed into the passenger seat and Kris shut the door behind me.
“What about you, Miss Innocent? You make your man wrap up his junk?” Jude asked me, grinning.
“Jude!” I shouted, my cheeks getting flushed.
After Kris got into the driver’s seat, he turned and glared at Jude.
“Shut up, asshole.”
“What?” Jude asked, feigning innocence. “I’m just saying that there’s nothing like an unplanned pregnancy to fuck up some pretty big plans.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed and was about to say something back to him, but Kris put a hand on my leg and stopped me.
“Jude, not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, I wore a condom. I always do because neither one of us is ready for a kid. Besides, Jess is only eighteen. She’s too young.”
“That doesn’t mean anything, Kris. Crystal was what, sixteen when she had you, Jess?” Beau asked.
“Yes, Beau, but look at how my life has been. You really think she was ready to have a baby at sixteen? Hell, she’s thirty-four and still not ready to be a mother.”
Ryder leaned forward in his seat and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Well, we all know you will never be like her when you have kids someday. The best thing that bitch ever did in her life was make a fucking awesome daughter,” he said, shaking my shoulder. “We’re going to miss you, Jess.”
I swallowed the quickly-forming lump in my throat and turned my face to smile at him. I knew that Ryder cared about me like a brother would, but in that moment with him saying something that in his own way was so incredibly sweet, I was truly touched.
“Thank you, Ryder. I’ll miss you guys too, so much,” I replied, placing my hand on his before he sat back in his seat. I took a deep breath as I glanced back at my friends, all of them smiling at me and I felt a hot tear fall from my eyes.
Kris started the truck and before he put it in gear, he turned and gently caressed my cheek with his fingers.
“Hey, no tears. This is a good thing,” he said. “This tour is only for three months and then we’ll be back.”
I nodded and put on my best smile. “Right. Three months is nothing,” I replied, putting my seat belt on. “Just make sure you call me as often as you can. I want to hear all about the crowds and other bands you guys get to work with.”
“Dad got us a prepay phone to use for now, so we can check in every day if we need do,” Ryder replied.
“Why can’t she just come with us?” Jude asked.
I shook my head and forced out a laugh. “Jude, you guys are getting your first big break in the rock world opening for a pretty huge band. You’re trying to make a name for yourself so the last thing you need is to be known as the band that has some girl following them around,” I answered.
“It wouldn’t be like that. Maybe you can be our, like, wardrobe chick or something like that,” Jude said.
“We just don’t want to leave you behind with Crystal,” Beau answered softly. “We care about you, Jess.”
“Guys, it’ll be fine, stop worrying,” I said with a forced smile, lying as best as I could. “I have avoided her for the most part for the past eighteen years. This was eventually going to happen and I can’t expect you all to be there every time I need help. I will be okay until you get back.”
I glanced at Kris, who was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that I could tell his knuckles were white even in the dark and his jaw was clenched so tight I was afraid he would break a tooth. He backed the truck out of the parking spot and started to drive, his eyes focused on the road but not saying anything.
We rode the rest of the way in silence and I kept stealing glances at Kris. The look on his face was one of pure agony and worry. Seeing him looking this way was making my resolve completely crumble. I was trying to be strong and not let him see how scared and sad I was that they were leaving, but seeing him starting to break was making it impossible to do that.
Our first stop was Ryder’s house and I’m sure Kris had every intention of just dropping him off but when we pulled into the driveway, Ryder’s dad Alan was sitting on the front porch with a smile on his face. He waved all of us over and I looked at Kris, who stole a quick glance at me before shutting off the engine. As he was getting out of the truck cab I quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Our eyes locked and he gave me a weak smile before getting out and shutting the door.
Butterflies were flying rampantly in my stomach as I got out of the truck and walked the short distance to the front porch of Alan’s modest home. He was all smiles as the five of us approached him and he took turns hugging everyone, one by one.
He was chatting excitedly with everyone, hugging everyone and beaming with pride at his son. When he made it to me, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and asked, “What’s wrong, darlin’?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Alan. I’m so excited for the guys,” I said, smiling as brightly as I could.
He grinned warmly at me but there was concern in his eyes. “Jessie, sweetheart, you know if there is any trouble at home you can always come here, right?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, sure,” I answered, the lump in my throat getting even harder to swallow. “Of course I do.”
“I’m serious. If Crystal lays one finger on you, you call us and we’ll get you moved into the spare room. I know that Kris and the boys have protected you as well as they could for years but now that they are leaving you can’t keep her off of your back on your own. Promise me you will call if you need help?”
I fought back tears and hugged him as tightly as I could. In that moment I felt blessed to know Alan Matthews. It was comforting to know I had a safe place to land if the time came when I needed to get out, but I wasn’t going to be anyone’s burden. I was unfortunate to have been born Crystal’s daughter and until I could stand on my own two feet, I would just be stuck with her. I was almost there…
“I promise I will,” I said, and he kissed the top of my head.
“Good. Listen, I’d better let you kids get some rest so you can hit the road early. Mom and I made sure that all of your instruments were packed in the van, so all you have to do is pack some clothes and you’re all set to head out,” he replied, releasing me and putting an arm around Ryder and patting his back proudly.
“Thanks Dad,” Ryder replied. He said goodbye to everyone and when he hugged me, it was a little tighter than normal. “See you in the morning?”
“Definitely. Don’t leave without letting me say goodbye,” I whispered.
He backed away and gave everyone one last wave before going inside his house with Alan following behind him. I turned and walked back to the truck, feeling even more somber than I had before. We all climbed in and drove back to the apartment with Jude and Beau talking to Kris about what songs they would perform for their first time on stage tomorrow night, and me sitting in the passenger seat, already feeling like I was on the outside looking in.
After Beau and Jude had gone home, Kris and I were walking slowly to his apartment hand in hand. Neither one of us wanted to go home because we wouldn’t be alone for our last night, but his apartment was a better option than mine. Kris’ dad Bill was a bastard but between him and my mother he was the lesser of two evils. As long as Kris and I didn’t bother him, we were safe t
o do whatever we wanted and would be able to stay in his room without any complaining from him.
When Kris unlocked the front door, he put his keys in a little bowl by the door and announced, “We’re home.”
Bill came walking out in the living room holding his signature can of cheap beer in his hand. “Who’s we?” he asked before his glassy eyes landed on me. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Nice to see you Mr. Engle,” I said as sarcastically as I could.
Bill was never mean or hateful to me, but the man had definitely never gone out of his way to be nice either. He tolerated me because he knew if he said anything rude to me, Kris would knock him out cold with one punch. Bill used to take out his anger at being a single parent on his son but once Kris started fighting back, he just ignored him unless he had to interact with him.
“She staying here tonight?” he asked Kris, taking a swig of beer.
“Yes,” Kris said irritatingly. “Got a problem with that?”
“She’s a legal adult so I got no problem with it, but if you are going be fucking all night just try to keep it down. I have to be up early.”
“Well so do I,” Kris snapped. “Luckily for you I’ll officially be out of your hair for good in the morning.”
Bill looked at Kris like he’d suddenly grown three heads.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that our band got offered an opening slot on a huge summer tour for Stick and Stones and we leave tomorrow morning for Pennsylvania.”
Bill was silent for a few moments, staring at Kris like he hadn’t seen him in a very long time. Everyone knew he was bitter over having to raise Kris on his own after losing his wife Anna in childbirth, but the way he was looking at him right now, it was like he was…almost happy for him. However, knowing Kris as well as I did, it was too little too late.
He took another sip of his beer before he quietly, “You’re mama would’ve been proud.” He nodded his head at me and quickly left the room.
I squeezed his hand and kissed his bicep. He turned his face to me and said, “Well that was awkward.”
“I know. He almost looked proud of you,” I answered.
“Well fuck him, I don’t give a shit anymore. Come on,” he said, taking my hands and pulling me toward his room. “Let’s make the rest of this night count.”
Smiling meekly, I said, “Kris, you already made tonight count in the shed. That was amazing.”
He pulled my body against his and I shivered as I felt his erection swelling against my belly. He reached his hands up and combed his fingers through my hair and stared into my eyes.
“Jess, this is the last night I will be able to hold you, to kiss your lips, to have you in my bed for three fucking months. I am not wasting a single fucking second,” he whispered, and lowered his lips to mine.
He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and gently nibbled, causing liquid heat to pool in my core and my knees to buckle. My arms helplessly fell to my sides as Kris leaned his arms down, picking me up and carrying me into his bedroom.
As soon as we were inside, he kicked the door shut with his foot and moved us to his bed. Gently laying me down, he stood back up and began to slowly undress in front of me. My heart was pounding out of my chest as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it carelessly to the floor. He unbuckled his pants and I watched with bated breath while he slipped out of them along with his boxers and let them fall to the floor. Stepping out of them, he walked to me completely naked while taking his strong, thick length into his hand and stroking it slowly.
I thought he was going to lie next to me but instead he crawled onto the bed, resting between my knees. I had goose bumps all over my skin as he looked at me with intense passion and want in his jade green eyes. The anticipation in his eyes was almost orgasmic and I involuntarily shivered when his fingers found the waist of my shorts.
He was agonizingly slow as he stripped my clothes off and I almost chuckled in amusement at how many times my clothes had been taken off of me today. I would’ve laughed had he not looked so intent on driving my body completely crazy.
Once we were both naked, he covered my body with his and I let out a soft whimper when our skin touched. That was a feeling I’d never, ever get over. His lips were barely touching mine and he softly whispered, “I love you Jess,” before he kissed me.
I moaned into his mouth as his tongue danced with mine. His flavor was so intoxicating and I was addicted to it, to him. I didn’t know what I would going to do while he was gone and I couldn’t hold him or touch him whenever I wanted or needed to. The thought was making my heart ache more than it already was and I didn’t want to waste our last hours together. Kris was hell bent on making this a memorable night for both of us and I wasn’t about to ruin it, so I wrapped my arms a little tighter around him as he made love to me with everything he had inside him.
The alarm beside Kris’ bed started beeping right at five-thirty, but we were both already awake. We’d spent most of the night making love and had barely slept for an hour because neither one of us could get much rest. As exciting as this opportunity was, I was incredibly saddened by the fact that I would not only be without Kris for the whole summer, but that every friend I had in the world would be gone too. I really didn’t know how I was going to make it without them; they were my family.
I was lying across Kris’ bare chest, my arm tracing the design of the red phoenix on his chest, while he was combing his fingers through my long hair. He leaned in and kissed the top of my head and sighed.
“Stupid alarm,” he mumbled before smacking the top of it.
“Well, just think, you don’t have to hear it for the next three months. You get to rock all night and party all day.”
He softly laughed and squeezed me tight before moving the blankets off our naked bodies.
“You sound like a KISS song,” he said, kissing my lips quickly before I sat up and began searching the floor of his room for my shorts.
“Cut me some slack this morning. I hardly slept because I was busy being turned inside out by my super hot boyfriend,” I answered, winking at him. I was trying to make this as light-hearted as possible to hide the intense ache in my chest. Anything I could do to keep from remembering that my whole world was about to leave in thirty minutes.
“I was just making damn sure you don’t forget me while I’m gone,” he answered as he stood out of bed and pulled some fresh clothes out of his dresser.
“Believe me, there is no way that’s happening,” I answered, slipping on my panties and bra before getting my shorts off the floor.
“You’re getting dressed?” he asked. “I thought we could take a shower together before I go.”
I forced a smile and replied, “Oh I’m okay. You go ahead, I don’t want you to be late when Ryder gets here with the van. I’ll just shower when I go home.” I quickly slipped my shorts on and turned away to find my shirt, hoping he wouldn’t see my fast-forming tears. I had to start distancing myself now. Being naked with him would just make this even harder.
“Okay then, I’ll just be a second. Wait for me?” he asked, disappointed. All I could do was smile and nod and he gave me a wink as he walked out of his room toward the bathroom.
Once the door shut, I collapsed on his bed and broke down crying. I couldn’t let him see me fall apart like this; he’d give up his dream in a minute and I couldn’t let that happen.
I picked up the shirt he’d been wearing the day before and held it close to my chest, breathing in the scent of him that still lingered on the fabric. I could smell everything from yesterday; his cologne, the faint smell of smoke from the bonfire, the musty air from the shed, and the signature musk that was just his smell and I knew in that moment I had to take the shirt with me. I had to have one thing to remind me of the amazing day we’d shared before he left. I needed something to hold on to until he got back.
I slid the shirt on over my tank top and wiped my eyes just
before he walked back into his bedroom. He rubbed his hair with a towel before tossing it onto the bed.
“Well, that was pleasant,” he grumbled.
“What happened?” I asked, doing everything I could that would hide the fact that I’d been crying.
“My old man’s way of saying good bye was to tell me not to come back with some STD. Fucking prick,” he said, picking up his bag and shoving a few last minute items into it. “He’s one person I sure as fuck won’t miss.”
“Looks like he’s sobered up from last night and that weird look he gave you,” I answered, running my fingers through my hair to loosen up the tangles.
“Well fuck him,” he answered, zipping his bag and walking to me. He leaned down and kissed my lips quickly before saying, “The only one I’ll miss here is you.”
“I’ll miss you too, so much,” I answered, my throat actually hurting from the rapidly forming lump.
Kris tugged gently as the bottom of the shirt and asked, “You stealing my shirt?”
“I just wanted something that smelled like you. Is that okay?” I asked weakly.
“Of course it’s okay,” he whispered roughly before enveloping me into his arms.
He just held me for several minutes, stroking his fingers up and down my back as I clung to him for as long as I could. He was about to say something else but before he could, we heard a horn honking outside. I walked to the window and saw the white van pulling into a spot and parking. Ryder jumped out and leaned against the side, waiting for everyone to come out.
“Looks like it’s time,” I said quietly, and without another word I took his hand and led him out of his room. The longer I stayed in this apartment the more I was hurting.
Neither of us said anything as we walked down the stairs and outside the apartment building. As soon as Ryder saw us approaching he came toward us, smiling.
“You ready for this, bro?” he asked Kris.
[Bad Blooded Rebel Series 06] - Deeper Page 9
