“Fuck, that’s right.”
“As soon as I get checked in I am going to call home and see if Dad can meet us at the arena.”
“Yeah, he’s not been to a show in a while. I bet he’ll be blown away by the crowd,” Beau answered.
“It’ll do him some good to get out. Mom told me the last time I talked to her that he wasn’t feeling well. Had some bad cough he couldn’t seem to shake,” Ryder said, standing from his bunk and stretching out.
“Well, let’s get you boys checked in and then you can make your phone calls,” Steve said.
We all got off the bus and went to our hotel rooms. As soon as I was in mine, I tossed my stuff down and got a shower. As I let the hot water cascade over my tired body, Jessie’s face flashed in my mind. I know it was too much to hope she’d be at our show tonight but there was a small part of me that dared to dream I’d see her there.
It had been a whole year since I saw her and I was dying to know if she was okay. Was she happy? Had she met someone? The last question depressed me and suddenly that was all I could think about. I’m not sure how I’d handle it if I knew Jessie had moved on with another man. The part of me that would want her to be happy would have to win out over the part that would want to murder the man with my bare hands.
A few hours later I was dressed and ready for tonight’s show. I might have made a little more effort with my appearance on the off chance she might show up, even though I knew she wouldn’t be there. Why would she be? This was what she wanted for me and she wasn’t about to stand in the way of my career.
A knock on the door let me know it was time to head to the arena for sound check and I quickly went back down to the bus. Everyone was already on and waiting for me. Jude was playing a video game with Beau and Ryder was on his cell phone. As soon as he saw me get on the bus, he started speaking a little quieter and had a ghost of a smile on his lips. I sat across from him and after he hung up, I kicked his foot.
“Who was on the phone?”
“Oh, I was just making sure that Mom and Dad are going to be on time. I was just telling him what entrance to go to so they can get their meet and greet passes,” Ryder answered.
“You’re really stoked that they’re coming, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Hell yeah I am! Dad’s seen our shows, but never one this huge. We’re sold out.”
Jude put the game controller on the table in front of him and rubbed his hands together. “That means we’ll have plenty of hot ass chicks to choose from. I can’t decide if I want a blonde, a brunette, or a red head. Aw, fuck it. I’ll take one of each.”
I snorted. “Well, there should be tons of each kind,” I said, nervously twisting my fingers in my hands.
“You okay bro?” Ryder asked me.
“Yep, I’m fine. Just antsy to get on stage I guess,” I lied. As the time ticked away I was getting more and more nervous that Jess might actually come tonight. I had no idea why. As far as I knew none of the guys had heard from her in a while.
“Relax, man. It’s going to be a good night. Trust me,” he said, smiling.
Soon, we pulled up in front of the arena and there was already a huge crowd waiting outside. We quickly got off the bus and waved to the screaming fans as we went inside.
Sound check went pretty smoothly and as soon as we were finished I’d decided to stick around and watch Eternal Down’s sound check. They were an awesome band and all of the guys were pretty chill. Thank God we got along with Jagger, Zayne, Cash, and Logan because if we didn’t, this tour would have sucked ass.
I was still watching their set when I heard Steve say that there were some special fans here to meet up with us. I turned to the door and saw Ryder’s parents beaming at us with pride. I smiled for a fraction of a second until I really looked at Alan and my eyebrows drew together.
I know Ryder said that he’d been sick, but he looked like complete shit, like he hadn’t slept in days. He was at least a good thirty pounds lighter than the last time I had seen him, and his skin looked a tad bit ashy.
“Well, holy shit,” he said, smiling at us as we walked up to embrace him. “I always knew you boys would headline here one day.”
Ryder smiled and jogged over to Alan and Rose. We all took turns hugging the both of them and when we were finished, Ryder said, “It’s good to see you guys, I’m so glad you could make it!”
“Oh honey, we wouldn’t have missed this for anything,” Rose said sweetly.
“Dad, don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like fucking hell.”
Alan laughed and said, “Well, it’s nice to see you too, you little shit.”
Ryder smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“Oh son, stop worrying. I’m fine, I just have a little cough. It’s probably a touch of pneumonia.” Alan waved his hand in the air, which was his signal that he was done talking about the subject.
“So, is it just you guys tonight?” Beau asked.
My heart sank. If it was just the two of them then that meant that Jessie didn’t come after all. No one said she would be here and I was stupid enough to let myself hope even for a second that she would be here. Suddenly, I felt the air start to get thick and heavy in the arena.
“Listen, I’m going to go get some air. I’ll be back in a second,” I said.
“You okay, son?” Alan asked me, placing his hand on my arm as I moved past.
“Ah yeah, I’m cool. I’m just getting a little warm. I’ll be right back,” I said, patting his upper arm and giving him a reassuring smile.
I walked out into the hallway and started jogging. I felt pain stabbing at me and I didn’t want to be around anyone when I was overcome with hurt from being disappointed yet again. As soon as I reached one of the arena’s side doors I pushed through and sucked the fresh summer air into my lungs. Suddenly, as I was trying to calm myself down, I caught a familiar floral scent…and I froze.
I couldn’t move. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply and suddenly felt my chest tighten. I didn’t even need to turn around to know someone had just come up behind me because I could feel it, feel her.
As I turned around, my heart was pounding so hard I thought it would beat through my chest.
“Kris?” she asked softly. I slowly turned around and my eyes immediately landed on the most breathtakingly beautiful woman in the entire world.
She was here. My Jess was here. Standing in front me. Talking to me. Looking happy to see me. I reached out a shaking hand and gently touched her arm and gasped at the feel of her soft, supple skin. She wasn’t a mirage. She was real.
“J-Jess?” I stammered, blinking my eyes to make sure that she was really here. My mind had played tricks on me before.
“It’s so good to see you. Can I…can I have a hug?” she asked. I dumbly nodded and she smiled as she closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around my torso. I was shaking as she held onto me, the scent of her perfume invading my senses. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and once she was fully in my arms, I felt warmth spread through me.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she said, her voice breaking.
I swallowed hard. “You have?” I asked, gravel in my voice.
“Of course I have,” she answered as she pulled away. I instantly wanted to pull her back into my arms and hold her again. I didn’t want there to be any space between us.
“I can’t believe you’re actually headlining tonight. I always knew you’d make it here.”
“Yeah,” I said, nervously shuffling my feet. “You, uh…you look beautiful.”
She really did. She looked like she’d maybe put on a good five pounds since I last saw her, but that was a good thing. When she was in the hospital she was so frail and she looked so much better now than she did then. Her hair was a little shorter than it used to be but it still hung down to the middle of her back and looked shinier. Her blue eyes were bright and focused on me and despite her smile, she seemed nervous.
“Thank you. You look incredible too,” she answered. “Is it okay that I’m here? When Ryder called me a few days ago and told me he was sending a ticket I was nervous that you might not want to see me.”
“Of course I want to see you. I want you here,” I stated. “I’ve really missed you, Jess.”
She nervously tucked her long, glossy hair behind her ears.
“I’ve missed you too, Kris.”
Deciding that we could get to all the heavy shit later, I tugged on her arm and said, “Come on, let’s go inside. I bet the guys will be stoked to see you.”
“Okay,” she answered sweetly.
I felt my heart speed up again. “I’m glad you’re here, Jess. Tonight wouldn’t have felt right without you.”
She nodded as I held the door open for her. “Really?”
I smiled. “Really. So, how have you been?” I asked as we walked inside. There were a million things I wanted to ask and say but that was the only thing that I could say at that point. I was just so happy that she was here.
“I’ve been doing okay. I finally got my own place.”
“You did? Jess, that’s awesome.”
“Well, it’s no mansion, but it’s in a better neighborhood than I was in before. I can’t help but be proud of it.”
“Well I’m sure it’s great. It has to be better than what I’ve got. I actually don’t have a place yet.”
“You don’t?” she asked, her browns furrowed. “Why’s that? I mean, it’s not like you don’t have the money.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I just haven’t wanted to put down roots anywhere. Nowhere has felt like home in a while.”
She frowned and I noticed her bottom lip starting to quiver.
“I’m so sorry,” she started but I stopped her.
“Hey, don’t be down. Tonight’s a good night.” The best I can remember feeling in a long time. “It means so much to have you here now. We can talk later, okay?”
Jessie nodded and took a deep breath.
“You’re right. We can save it for later.”
“So,” I said, pausing in front of one of entrances to the main floor, “you ready to see the guys?”
Her beautiful, full lips spread into a wide smile.
“Absolutely!”
“Wait until you get a look at Jude. He got a devil tattooed on the side of his head,” I laughed.
“Oh my God, are you shitting me?” she laughed.
We walked inside where the guys were still chatting with Ryder’s parents and answered, “See for yourself.”
As soon Beau, Ryder, and Jude saw Jess, they all ran over and gave her big hugs. Ryder gave me a nudge in my arm and winked at me. It turned out the phone call he was on when I got on the bus was him talking to Jessie to make sure she was going to be there. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I’d never been more grateful for him than I was right then.
It wasn’t long before we were being ushered backstage because they were about to start letting fans into the arena. We were all starting to go to the side of the stage and when I looked back to find Jessie, she was slowly following behind.
“Jess, aren’t you coming?” I asked.
She nervously smoothed her black sequined top and said, “I was just going to find my seat out here and let you get to work. I don’t want to distract you.”
I quickly walked over to her and took one of her hands in mine.
“Well, you’re one distraction that I gladly welcome,” I answered, winking at her. All the blood in my body rushed below my belt as a beautiful blush showed in her cheeks.
“I shouldn’t let a perfectly good ticket go to waste,” she answered, smiling as she held out her event pass.
I grinned and took it from her hand. Handing the pass to John, I said, “Can you give this to a fan outside? Jessie won’t be needing it since she’s with the band.”
John grinned at me. “Certainly, I’ll take care of it. And it’s nice to finally meet you, Miss Monroe,” he said to Jessie, nodding at her before walking away.
I was still holding her hand and my thumb gently traced the smooth skin on the back of her hand.
“Now, are you coming back stage or not?” I could see goose bumps forming on her bare arms.
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
I flashed a crooked smile.
“It’s definitely okay. Come on, I’ll show you around,” I said, leading her to the steps and feeling happier than I’d felt in more than a year.
Jessie followed close behind me as we walked onto the stage and stopped to look around the arena one last time before heading backstage. Alan and Rose were smiling proudly and chatting to Ryder, Beau, and Jude excitedly. As I rounded the drum kit to face the arena, I heard a slight gasp. I turned around and found Jessie standing behind me with tears misting her eyes.
“Jess, what’s wrong?” I asked, my chest aching at the sight of her crying.
“You…you really did it. You really made it here,” she whispered.
I stepped closer to her and gently placed my hand on her wrist.
“You always knew we would. No one’s ever had faith is us, in me, like you have. Every single thing you’ve ever done or said has been so I could make it here and I know that. Take some credit,” I said, smiling and trying to lighten the mood.
She shook her head and wiped a loose tear that had fallen down her cheek.
“It wasn’t me. I just stood aside so you could chase your dreams. If I hadn’t you wouldn’t be here now. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
I shrugged my shoulders and ran a hand through my hair. I wanted so much to hold her in my arms again and kiss her tears away, but I also didn’t want to overwhelm her in any way, so I just put my hands in my pockets and nodded.
“Not as hard as letting you go,” I answered, staring into her eyes.
Before either of could say anything else, I was tapped on the shoulder by some random crew member and told that I needed to clear the stage so they could get everything set up and ready for the show. Since our band was better known, Eternal Down was always the band that went first and did a damn good job pumping up the crowd.
I told the guy that we would head backstage and I tapped her arm. “Come on. Hang with me, shit, I mean with us backstage until the show starts.”
She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at me.
“Sounds great,” she replied and followed me off the stage and down the hall to our lounge.
As soon as we were inside, Jessie timidly took a seat on one of the leather couches and was smiling serenely at all of us as we talked and laughed. Having her, Alan, and Rose at our show made it all hit home and for the first time since this whole thing began, I felt hopeful that things might finally work out.
About two hours later, it was time for us to take the stage. As we all got into our positions with our instruments, I smiled as I saw Alan and Rose looking at not just Ryder, but all of us with pride. Jessie was saying something to Jude as he was fiddling with his bass. I was so enthralled with her that I didn’t notice Alan had come up beside me.
“So, are you going to tell her?” he asked me.
“Tell her what?” I asked.
He huffed out a laugh, which caused him to cough.
“That you love her, son.”
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m sure she knows.”
“Well you should remind her.”
I grinned at him.
“You think it would change anything? She made it pretty clear that she didn’t want me tied to her anymore,” I replied. “She seems to be okay without me.”
Alan put his hand on my shoulder and laughed.
“Oh, Kris. Take my word on this; things aren’t always the way they seem to be. Talk to her. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”
I smiled at him and twirled my drumstick in my fingers. My eyes flicked to Jessie and as she was laughing at something Jude was sayin
g to her, I decided to take Alan’s advice. I’d ached for her for more than a year and this was a chance I never thought I’d ever have. I wasn’t going to waste this moment and even if it all blew up in my face, at least I’d know where I stood with her once and for all. I just selfishly hoped that the night ended with her in my arms again.
Chapter 10
Jessie
“I can’t believe you actually got a tattoo on your head. What the hell were you thinking?” I asked Jude, laughing.
“You don’t think it’s sexy?” he asked me, winking seductively.
“Don’t even try it, Jude. Your tricks won’t work on me.”
“Clearly,” he answered, grinning at me. “Even if I were to try and go after you, which I wouldn’t because it would be like sleeping with my sister, everyone knows you still have a lady boner for Kris.”
I snorted and laughed. “Excuse me, a what?”
“A lady boner. It’s sticking out of your jeans right now and pointed right at our drummer, my friend.”
I felt myself starting to blush and I rolled my eyes.
“Shut up Jude. I hope it hurt when you got this thing,” I replied, lightly tapping his tattoo.
“Just tell him, Jess.”
I blinked and began to play with the ends of my hair.
“Tell him what?”
“That you love him, that you want him back, and that you want to give him steady pussy every night so we can all get back to normal and quit watching him mope around,” he said, smiling at me. “I know he still loves you, Jess, and if you want him all you need to do is say the word.”
I felt butterflies in my stomach and my eyes moved from Jude to Kris, who was sitting behind his drum kit talking to Alan. He looked up at me and when our eyes met, I felt a shiver go down my spine.
I started to feel hope for the first time in over a year as I looked at him. Maybe Jude was right…maybe he did still love me. God knows I still loved him and missed him more every single day.
[Bad Blooded Rebel Series 06] - Deeper Page 14
