Tirade

by Cambria Hebert

  Sam was coming home.

  I would soon sleep in his arms and know my first night of peace since he was trapped. Since we still had a bit until Cole and Gemma arrived, I left Riley and Logan with their food, fresh sodas and the remote to escape to my bedroom.

  Once upstairs I washed my hair (yeah, I already showered but it looked bad), blew it out straight and even went over the ends and my bangs with my flat iron. Once my hair was glossy and smooth, I noticed just how bad my face really looked. It was blotchy red in some spots, my eyes were puffy with dark circles and the rest of my skin was pale. The paleness made the new scar on my left cheek stand out more than it probably would. With a sigh I reached into my makeup bag and pulled out all the products I hoped would make me look a little less… destroyed.

  Once I had done all I could with my appearance, I grabbed a backpack from my closet and began to fill it with things I thought we might need. I wasn’t sure if I should bring the Treasure Map because it would be putting it in danger and sort of adding another bull’s-eye on all of our backs (if there was even room for more). I figured it would be best if I hid it here somewhere.

  I pulled out my blood-stained bag and dumped out the contents on the bed and buried the ruined bag at the bottom of the trash. I grabbed up a few items right away to add to the backpack and reached for the scroll.

  It wasn’t there.

  I stifled my moment of panic and sifted through the junk on the bed. It was here somewhere. I never let it out of my sight. Why did I have to carry so much crap around with me? I never used half of it. But soon my forced calm dissipated because I still couldn’t find it. The scroll containing the Treasure Map was the biggest thing in my bag. It wouldn’t be hard to see; it would stick out among sunglasses and lip gloss.

  I felt a cold sweat break out on my forehead as I looked down at the floor, reaching under the bed and searching the corner where I had thrown the bloodied bag when I first got home. Then I searched the top of the bed once more, but I had to face the facts.

  The scroll wasn’t here.

  It was gone.

  I started pacing, my breathing coming in short gasps. This wasn’t happening. I did not just lose the Treasure I was asked to keep safe. I did not just lose the Map that we’ve been protecting with our lives, the scroll that we had to go down in hell for, the reason Sam was trapped there still.

  I wouldn’t be that careless. I wouldn’t.

  Think! I told myself. I just needed to think. Where was the last place I saw it? I remember having it in my bag at the hospital when I went to see Mom. After that… everything was kind of a blur. She said awful things, Colin attacked me and I killed him… I gasped.

  Colin! Everything fell out of my bag when he was attacking me. That had to have been when I lost it. Oh, God. What have I done?

  I raced down the stairs and into the living room. Riley was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, staring at me with a cookie in his hand. Logan was on the couch, but he stood up when he saw my face.

  “Sam?” he asked.

  “I can’t find the scroll.” I rushed out. “Riley, please think. When you picked up my stuff off the ground after Colin, was it there?”

  Riley’s brow furrowed. “What did it look like?”

  “It’s a bronze tube, a cylinder. It’s kind of heavy. The map was inside.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t see anything that looked like that.”

  I let out a whimper. “No.”

  Riley pushed out of the doorway and came closer. “You’re sure you didn’t put it somewhere and forget?”

  “Forget where the one thing that is keeping Sam alive is?” I screamed.

  His eyes flashed silver. “What are you talking about?”

  “The only reason Beelzebub’s keeping Sam alive is because he wants that scroll. If he gets his hands on it first, he will kill him just to make me suffer.” Then he would come for me, but that seemed like the last of my worries at the moment.

  “We have to get him out! We have to go now!” Logan began to cough. Deep coughs that shook his body and made his shoulders hunch. I went to his side and placed a hand on his back. He felt very warm, like he was running a fever. Again.

  “Hey, calm down. Sam’s fine, okay? I’m going to get him out. He’ll be home very soon.”

  Logan kept coughing and I led him to the sofa and made him sit down. Finally, he stopped with a deep, ragged breath. When he looked up at me, his eyes were rimmed with red and had deep circles beneath them. His lips were pale, but his cheeks were flushed. “I want my brother.”

  “I know you do.” I glanced up at Riley, who was watching us with no emotion on his face. “Will you grab a bottle of water out of the fridge?”

  He disappeared and I brushed the hair off Logan’s forehead. “You should’ve told me you were feeling bad again. I can call Gemma.”

  “No.” He cut me off. “No more healing; it doesn’t work anyway. Just let me heal on my own.”

  Riley came back in the room with Cole on his heels. “I laid the stuff you asked for on the counter,” he said as he came in. Then he paused. “What’s going on?”

  “Logan’s not feeling so hot right now.” I took the water from Riley and twisted the cap off to give it to Logan. “I want you to relax the rest of the night, okay? Just chill. Everything is going to be fine.”

  “Promise?” Logan said, looking more like the little kid he was than he usually did.

  “Yup. Sam will be here tomorrow, just wait and see.”

  He nodded and I handed him the remote to the TV before getting up and walking into the kitchen. Cole and Riley followed.

  “Hev?” Cole asked as Gemma came through the back door.

  “I lost the scroll.”

  The silence that followed my announcement was deafening. Then Cole spoke up. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, no… I don’t know,” I said as tears filled my eyes. “It might be in Gran’s car. It could have fallen out, but she isn’t here and I can’t go look.”

  “Where is she? I can go check for you,” Gemma said, the lines around her eyes looking grim.

  “At the hospital with my mom.”

  “I’ll just flash over there and look. I’ll be right back.” She disappeared out the door before I could thank her.

  Then another thought occurred to me. “It could have fallen out in Colin’s car.” I looked at Riley. “Did you look in his car before… you know?” Before he sent it barreling over a hill and lit it on fire. I would laugh if this wasn’t so horrible.

  He shook his head, and for once he was showing emotion. He seemed so regretful. “I didn’t. I was too focused on making sure everything was cleaned up.”

  “What are you talking about?” Cole wanted to know.

  I shook my head. I didn’t have the energy to go through the story of how I killed someone. “I’ll fill you in later.”

  Gemma came through the door and we all turned to see her. She shook her head.

  I let out a sob. “It had to have been in Colin’s car… so that means it’s destroyed. I destroyed the one thing I was charged by God to protect.”

  “I meant I didn’t see anything. Gran’s car wasn’t at the hospital.”

  I paused. “She wasn’t at the hospital? Then where is she?”

  “Someone’s coming up the drive,” Riley said. I ran over to the window to see who it was.

  “It’s Gran,” I murmured.

  I looked at Riley and Gemma, unsure what to do. “We’ll go upstairs,” Gemma offered.

  “Thanks. If you want, maybe you can go through my room again. Maybe you’ll find the scroll.”

  My friends disappeared from the room and moments later Gran entered. Her aura almost knocked me over. Something was terribly wrong. She looked like she had been crying, and from the tissue clutched in her hand, I had a feeling more tears weren’t far away. “Gran?”

  She looked up and her eyes widened a little. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “What�
��s the matter?” Cole asked, going to her side.

  “I… I don’t know…” She looked up at me, tears filling her eyes. “I’m so sorry, honey, but your mother died this evening.”

  “What? No.” My ears began ringing. “She was awake. She woke up.”

  “Yes. For a while. Then she slipped back in her coma. She died a few minutes before I got there.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  Gran came forward and hugged me. I didn’t hug her back. I couldn’t. I stared straight ahead at nothing. “It’s going to be okay.”

  She pulled back to look at me.

  “How?”

  “They’re not sure. They did everything they could.”

  The room around me seemed to narrow and close in on me. My mother was dead. I was an orphan. Cole guided me into a nearby chair and sunk down beside me, his hands gripping mine.

  “She’s dead?” I whispered.

  “We’ll need to go to the funeral home in the morning to make arrangements.”

  “Arrangements?”

  “Don’t worry about that now. We’ll deal with it in the morning.”

  I heard her moving around in the kitchen and I smelled brewing coffee, but I never really knew what was going on around me. I heard Cole’s voice as he spoke to Gran, but I couldn't understand his words. I felt his hand in mine, but I didn’t want him. I wanted Sam. I jumped to my feet, startling everyone in the room. “I…”

  They were both staring at me with pity and sorrow and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. “I… just need a moment.”

  I ran outside and down the stairs into the falling night. I hoped it would swallow me whole. Sam.

  What is it, Heven?

  My mother is dead. She died, Sam.

  Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say…

  I want you, Sam. I need you.

  I’m here, baby. I’m here.

  He’s going to take you too.

  What?

  Beelzebub. He killed her. He finally got what he wanted. She was fine and he killed her. It was in that moment I knew for sure I had lost the scroll. Now everyone around me was going to start dying. I had no more leverage.

  What do you mean? Are you sure?

  I’ve never been so sure. And now… It finally happened. Tears started falling. You have to get out of there, Sam. He’s going to come for you. I can’t let you die.

  I felt something ripple through me. It might be pain. I didn’t know. I was numb. Heven, listen to me. Listen, sweetheart. When I didn’t answer, he said, Are you listening?

  Yes.

  I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m going to be there soon. You’ve got to stay calm. Don’t do anything crazy.

  We were on our way to get you.

  Don’t come. Not tonight.

  You don’t understand; I have to come. The scroll is gone. I lost it.

  There was a pause before he answered. How?

  I think I lost it when Colin and I… when I killed him.

  Don’t think about that now. Don’t worry about the scroll. We’ll find a way to get it back.

  How can you say that? Don’t you see? He got what he wanted and now he’s going to kill everyone I love.

  I haven’t seen him at all. He isn’t here. I can take care of myself for another night.

  I just need a moment. I can’t breathe.

  I’ll be right here. I won’t let go. I felt the frustration and the desperation behind his words. He wanted to be here and he couldn’t be.

  I sank down beneath an apple tree and stared up at the sky. I wondered if my mother was with my dad now, if she was at peace. I felt rather than saw something nearby and I turned in that direction to see Riley. I turned away, not wanting him to see my tears.

  “You heard?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  He didn’t say he was sorry. He didn’t offer his condolences, and somehow, it made it easier to breathe. He sat down next to me, his knee brushing mine, and still said nothing. For a long time, we just sat there listening to the evening bugs chatter.

  “My mother said some awful things to me,” I said, my voice sounding hoarse.

  Riley didn’t say anything.

  “She meant them.” Riley turned his head to look at me and I wiped a stray tear from my cheek. “But she was my mother and I loved her. Now she’s dead.”

  Riley debated a moment, then reached out stiffly and pulled me into his side. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I sat there grieving all the while, thinking about the man who did this and wondering what else he was going to do. Beelzebub was on a tirade, hell-bent on making me pay, and he wasn’t going to stop until I was dead inside.

  Chapter Ten

  Heven

  “Gran’s worried.” Cole spoke from behind us. My eyes closed at the sound of his tight tone. He disapproved of me being out here with Riley.

  I pushed myself to my feet. “I’ll come in.”

  Cole nodded tersely, but his aura softened when I came to his side. He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned down to kiss my temple. “How’s it going, sis?”

  “You and Gran are the only family I have left now.”

  “Well, you’re stuck with me,” he said lightly.

  “Sam doesn’t want me to come tonight.”

  “He’s right,” Cole said and I stiffened beneath his touch. He tightened his grasp on me and sighed. “I know it’s hard, Hev. But your mom just died. Your mind is in no state to fight with Beelzebub.”

  “We don’t even know if he’s down there.”

  “I thought you said he was back.”

  “He definitely is, but Sam said he hasn’t seen him.”

  “That’s a good thing.”

  The house came into view and I pulled away from Cole and turned back to Riley, who was a few feet behind us. “Are you leaving?” I tried not to sound upset at the idea.

  “I’ll be around,” he said, sounding vague.

  “I’ll come by Sam’s tomorrow after Gran and I go to the funeral home…” My voice dropped off. “We’ll go get him then.”

  “It’s too soon,” Cole said. His aura was etched with worry and concern and I knew he was only looking out for me.

  “It isn’t. I’m going to be busy after tomorrow with the viewings and the funeral.” I shivered a little and out of the corner of my eye I saw Riley take a step closer. “I need him home, Cole. Now more than ever.”

  “Yeah, all right.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked Riley.

  “Yeah.”

  I looked at him a little longer than I should have, but then he took off and the screen door banged behind us. I turned to see Gran standing on the porch peering out into the darkness, looking for us. “Heven? Cole?”

  “We’re here,” Cole said and grabbed my arm to tow me toward the house. I didn’t want to go with him. It was all too real inside. It pressed in on me and I couldn’t take the sorrow on Gran’s face.

  “Is Gemma still in my room?” I whispered.

  “No. I saw her when I came out to get you. She left.”

  “How are things with her going?” I asked.

  “Fine,” he said, but his aura said otherwise.

  “I was worried,” Gran said as we came up the steps. “You’ve been out here a while.”

  “Should I go to the hospital tonight?”

  “No. I took care of it all when I was there. You’re a minor so I signed all the documents and filled out the forms. We’ll need to go to the funeral home in the morning and to your mother’s house to pick out an outfit for her…” She trailed off, unable to say the rest.

  I sat around the kitchen with Gran and Cole and tried to convince them as well as I could that I wasn’t going to crumble into a million pieces. Thankfully, Logan had fallen asleep on the couch and was spared all the drama and I hoped he slept the night through. He wasn’t looking too good.

  I forced a cup of hot tea down to please Gran, but refused to eat and tried to d
iscuss arrangements with Gran without crying. Soon, the night began wearing on me and I excused myself to go upstairs to bed. I felt Gran and Cole’s nervous stares as I went from the room but had no energy left to try to make them feel better.

  Upstairs, I stood in the center of my room for a while without moving. Regrets clouded my head as I thought of things I wished I had and hadn’t said to my mother during the past few months. I would never get the chance to make any of it right. My last moments with her were horrible and that was all I had left.