I blushed at that one. Encouraged by my half smile he took a deep breath. “I’ll settle for any one of the above. Let me be your friend. Just don’t shut me out. Please.”
All resolve fled in the face of his naked honesty. “That’s the problem, you’re always going to be so much more to me than a friend – you are everything to me. The past weeks without you have been unbearable. There hasn’t been enough air. Enough light. Not enough color. Every moment without you feels like an eternity and I’m drowning. I’m drowning without you. But I can’t be with you.” I shook my head despondently. “Don’t you see? I could hurt you. That night when we kissed and I blew up, what you saw me do? That was only the beginning of this fire thing. It’s gotten way stronger. More powerful. In ways you can’t even begin to imagine. The other day I almost made a volcano erupt.” I lifted my hands out of the water and shook them helplessly. “I’ve been working on controlling it and I have gotten heaps better at it – but whenever I’m around you, I don’t know what happens. It’s like my feelings for you trigger it and I’m fighting to keep it contained. I’m afraid of what could happen if we’re together. I love you too much to risk it. Do you realize I could kill you? I almost killed you that other night!”
Two steps and then his strong arms swept me into a bone-crushing embrace.
“Daniel – no, I …”
His lips on mine cut me short and, for a few heart-stopping moments, all rational thought fled as I drowned in his kiss. Hard, searching, breathtaking kiss.
It ended as abruptly as it began, leaving me gasping for air and my head spinning. I stumbled a few steps back away from him in the water as I tried to regain my composure, looking around frantically for any sign of fire attack. Was the water getting hotter? I remembered shrimp boiled pink during my foray in the pool on Nafanua’s estate and desperately tried to calm my ragged breathing. Daniel was oblivious to my fears.
“See!” he was triumphant, “I’m still alive. And not even a wisp of smoke or flames anywhere in sight.”
I shook my head, emotions and thoughts a swirling mess, still waiting for flames, still searching for rises in the water temperature. “No, it’s too risky.” Even as I said it, doubts were clouding my resolve. Because he was right. There was no familiar rush of flame and heat. Well, I hastily amended, not beyond what I imagined the usual boy-kisses-girl heat flash to be like. In fact, I was feeling a little cold – half naked in a freshwater spring in the middle of the night. I suppressed a chill in the night breeze and Daniel responded by pulling me into his arms, warming me with his embrace.
“Come here.” He rubbed his arms along mine. “You don’t feel like a girl about to set the world on fire – you’re cold. What were you saying about this being too dangerous?!”
I still didn’t trust myself to be this close to him and I tried to pull away. “I mean it. We shouldn’t be doing this. We shouldn’t be together like this.”
Again, he pulled me into his arms, only this time shushing me with his fingers on my lips.
“Listen to me. The other night when you – exploded – I’ll admit it was scary. But it was also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You’re not a monster. This power is frightening and I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through but it doesn’t define you. And you shouldn’t let it dictate to you either. Your strength is one of the things I love most about you. I know you can control this. Now, I’m just as in the dark as you are about how to figure it out, about what’s going to happen. But I know that together we can do this. I helped you the other night, you reined it in, you spoke and the fire listened. We could be a good team, Leila give us a chance.”
“But Daniel, how could you love me?” disbelief colored my voice. “You saw me the other night. It was awful. I could have killed all those people and I …” my voice dropped to a hesitant whisper, unwilling to speak aloud the unspeakable. “I almost killed people – and I loved it. I loved the feeling of power, that I could create chaos like that. It was evil. I’m evil. Daniel, you can’t love me. Nobody can!” Inside, I screamed I hate myself, why don’t you? I thought of telesā calling down fire to burn a village to the ground. I tried to pull away from his embrace but I may as well have been trying to move the proverbial mountain for all the good it did me.
He looked down at me with one eyebrow arched quizzically. Again he lowered his face to mine, this time to dance his lips feather soft against my forehead, my cheeks, the tip of my nose, a whisper on my lips. A smile before he answered.
“Leila, nobody’s perfect. We’re all struggling with something. You don’t love someone because they’re a dream of perfection. You love them because of the way they meet their challenges, how they struggle to overcome. You love them because together you bring out the best in each other. I fell in love with you before you blew up in flames and it hasn’t changed. You’re argumentative, stubborn, prickly, fiery tempered, and absolutely impossible when you can’t get your way. You drive me nuts – and not always in a good way!”
Wrapped securely in his broad arms, breathing in the sun-kissed scent of him, and hearing the strong throb of his heartbeat, how much easier it was to believe we were indeed possible. How I longed to be as hopeful as he. As optimistic. And for a few sweet moments as I stood there, I believed in the possibilities. But too soon, cold shards of reason cut through the fantasy. How could I even consider for a moment the thought of being with him when every minute with me was putting his life at risk? If I truly loved him, how could I do that to him?
As if he could read my mind, Daniel released me slightly so he could turn me to face the waterfall, shimmering silver in the moonlight. With one hand on my shoulder, he pointed to the black velvet water.
“Remember how you told me that this pool was the one thing that could cool the fire inside you? How its waters would refresh you and keep you from overheating?”
I nodded mutely, unsure what he was getting at. He pulled away, putting me at arm’s length.
“I can be that for you. I can be the waters that keep you … real. Keep you focused. In tune, in control. We could do this – make it work – together. Tell me you don’t want to give us a chance? Tell me you don’t want to try? If you can look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don’t love me enough to try, then I promise, I’ll leave this alone. I won’t bother you any more. And we can go on like this – us – never happened.”
My breath caught. Yes I loved him. And I was terribly ashamed to admit that I was selfish. I wanted him more than anything. More than air. More even than the dizzying feeling of power when I erupted in flames. The thought of us continuing as if we had never loved – it hurt like a blade to the heart. I shook my head and whispered so softly that he had to move even closer to hear it, “I love you, more than life itself.”
I couldn’t argue with him any more after that. He had said everything I ever dreamed of hearing him say. His words knit a blanket of feather soft warmth around me, a security and peace I never wanted to lose. Gently, he kissed me again and this time I wasn’t thinking about all the reasons why we shouldn’t be doing this. This time I couldn’t think of anything but the feel of his lips on mine, his hands as they tugged on my hair, sending wires of heat radiating through me, how good the hardness of his body felt pressed against mine. Chills had me trembling and Daniel noticed.
“Hey, you’re freezing. Come here.” He bent and easily swept me into his arms, carrying me carefully through the water and back to the poolside where he sat down on one of the smooth rocks, keeping me captive in his arms so that I was sitting in his lap. I rested my head against his chest and in the liquid stillness of the night, I could hear the strong, steady beat of his heart. Gently he rubbed his hands up and down my back, trying to warm me. “Better? Not so cold now?”
I nodded as a delicious warmth coursed through me. Which burned even hotter when he moved one hand to delicately trace the patterns of my malu, whispering, “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I first saw your tat
too.”
“Do what?”
“This. Touch you, feel you. And tell you how beautiful I think your malu is. How beautiful I think you are.”
I loved the feel of his fingers against my skin as they trailed to the very peak of the malu banding the top of my thigh. Did he know what his touch was doing to me? Could he feel my racing pulse as it accelerated with every dancing caress? Could he hear the ragged tautness of my breathing as I struggled to find air? A struggle that only intensified when he gently raised my face to his so that he could capture my lips again. It was a kiss that had me reeling, a kiss that ended all too soon though as Daniel released me and gently held me away from him. A wry smile.
“We better get you home. We shouldn’t be out alone here like this, not if we’re going to be doing this.”
I was bemused. And if I was being totally honest, I really wanted to keep kissing him some more. “Huh? Why? It’s okay, Matile and Tuala are asleep. They don’t even know I’m here with you. I don’t have to be back for a while yet.” I smiled reassuringly at him and made to move back into his arms but he stopped me with a smile.
“No, it’s not okay. Come on, I’ll walk you back.” And with that he stood and held out his hand to help me up. Once out of his embrace I had to admit that it was really cold. He reached for my towel on the rocks and wrapped it around me, rubbing my arms and shoulders with it.
“You alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” He waited while I dried off and quickly put my t-shirt and shorts back on and then together we walked slowly back along the well-worn path until we were just outside the fence. He stopped with my hand in his and pulled me close to him for a brief embrace. I breathed him in deeply, loving his scent, his warmth, his touch. Everything about him. I knew I would never have my fill of him. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?” He left a single quick kiss on my forehead before walking away back the way we had come. I watched him until he was completely out of sight, unwilling to let him go, even with my eyes.
Back in my room, I was awash with delight. I was in love with Daniel. And he loved me. Everything was right in the universe.
SIXTEEN
The next day I knew I needed to talk to Jason. As soon as possible. Yes, I still wanted him to help cure me, but I didn’t want to leave Samoa. Not just now anyway. I texted him. Nothing. Called him. Nothing. Where was he? I helped Matile to decorate the church and in between sweeping and arranging flowers, I continued to send increasingly irritated messages to Jason. It wasn’t until mid afternoon that someone finally answered his phone. Only it wasn’t him. It was Blaine.
“Hello? Leila, is that you?”
“Yes, Blaine? I’m trying to reach Jason. Do you know where I can reach him? What have you guys been up to all day? I’ve been trying for ages to get through.”
Blaine’s voice was tight with worry. “We’re here at the hospital. Jason’s sick. There’s something wrong and the doctors are trying to figure it out.”
“What? What happened? Is he going to be alright?”
His reply cut me with ice as I felt his fear over the line. “I don’t know, Leila. I think you better get over here. We want to get him airlifted out back home, but they said he’s not stable enough to be moved.”
The next few minutes were a blur as I hastily told Tuala where I was going. “A friend of mine is really sick, I have to be there.” Then I was in the Wrangler and weaving in and out of cars, wishing I could part traffic with my thoughts. My hands gripped the steering wheel as I tried to remain calm. The last thing Jason needed was a flame thrower to incinerate his medical team.
The hospital was a weary, miserable place. I ran along the cement walkways, past people sitting on their mats waiting for doctors, past snotty-nosed children playing in the rocky gardens, past operating theaters that reeked of disinfectant that was losing its battle against decay and rot. To Acute 7. Where Blaine and Matthew stood outside a room with two other men in business suits. Blaine was agitated.
“But you’re the Embassy, you’ve got to do something. You’ve got to help us get him home!”
One of the men shook his head. “I’m sorry but we can’t do anything if he doesn’t have medical clearance. It’s up to his doctors.”
“But they don’t know what the heck is wrong with him. If we don’t get him home, he’s going to die here.”
I stopped short, unable to breathe at his words. “No! What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
Everyone turned at my interruption and the suits looked irritated. Blaine moved to greet me. “Hey Leila. He’s bad, really bad. Come on in.”
I went to the doorway and peered in, stunned by the sight of Jason lying still and pale, hooked to a mass of machinery. “What’s happened to him?”
“Thursday, we were working on collating all our results, getting ready to move out next week, you know, then he was complaining of a bad headache and went back to the flat to sleep. When we got there, he was unconscious and burning up with fever. We brought him straight here and he’s been like this ever since.”
I walked over to stand beside his bed. The scene was an all too familiar one. The last time I had stood like this beside a hospital bed, I had been looking at my father in a coma. I didn’t want to be here. But I didn’t want to be anywhere else either, not when Jason was like this.
“I don’t understand. Did they run tests? What do they think is wrong with him? Aren’t they doctors?!” Worry fought with anger in my voice.
“It’s an infection of some kind. They think maybe some tropical parasite or bug that’s gotten into his bloodstream. They’ve pumped him full of antibiotics but nothing seems to be working. He’s had three seizures already and now, it’s like they’ve given up . Told us we have to wait for more bloodwork results while they keep looking for answers. In other words, he’s stuffed. Which is why we’re trying to get him moved.” Blaine directed a venomous glare back at the two suits that moved uneasily.
“Look, until you can get doctor’s clearance for him to fly, our hands are tied. Follow up with them and get that, then we can act. Let us know.”
With that weak comfort, they left, relieved to be out of there. Leaving us staring down at a man fighting for his life. Blaine and Matthew went to hunt down the doctors in charge of his case and update his family. Jason and I were alone. I looked at his face, wishing I could see it light up with his sun-filled smile. With a trembling hand, I reached out and gently ran my fingers through his hair, on the side of his face, feeling the slight stubble of three days of neglect.
“Oh Jason, please wake up. I need you. We all do. You can’t die. You can’t.” Tears spilled, and this time I let them as I bent to place a single soft kiss on his forehead. There was an abrupt movement from the doorway and I looked up, startled, to see Daniel standing there, staring at me with a stony, unreadable face.
“Daniel. What are you doing here?”
“I stopped by your house and your uncle told me you were here. All he knew was that a friend of yours was very sick. I was worried so I came straight here to see if there was anything I could do to help.” He backed away slowly. “But I see that you don’t need me, so I’ll get out of your way. We can talk later.”
“No wait! Daniel, please.”
Quickly, I ran lightly after him, catching hold of his arm in the corridor. “Wait, don’t leave.”
“Why not?”
I looked at his impassive face and almost faltered. “Because … because I need you. You’re the best part of me remember? We’re the team that’s going to take on anything the world throws at us – and win. Right?”
He fought an unwilling smile for a moment before sighing and rolling his eyes, pulling me to him for a brief kiss on the forehead. “Okay fine. You got me. I’m not leaving. What do you want me to do?”
With a tug on his arm I pulled him back to Jason’s room. “I want you to come and meet my friend, Jason. Professor Jason Williams. Come on.” I put added emphasis on the word ‘friend,’ praying that Da
niel would believe me.
There were two nurses with their backs to us fussing at Jason’s bedside and whispers of their hushed conversation came to us loud and clear. E maimau le taimi … o le mai Samoa … e uma nei … e tatau o na ave i se fofo, se taulasea. Startled at our entrance, they quickly left, shaking their heads at us with piteous looks. I stood and watched them leave with puzzlement.
“What were they saying, Daniel?”
He looked uncomfortable and seemed hesitant. “Umm, it’s just idle talk that’s all. They’re not the doctors working on his case, so it doesn’t matter.”
Telesa - The Covenant Keeper Page 44
