Allegiant

by Sara Mack

  Shel joins me on the couch. “That Garrett guy?”

  I nod. “He barely owns anything. He has my old loveseat too, which I’m planning to trade for this hunk of junk as soon as I can.”

  LB jumps into my lap to be scratched and, as she makes herself comfortable, Shel asks, “So, how did you find out about Dane?”

  “I received a newspaper article in the mail all about the lovely Ms. Teagan Meyer,” I say sarcastically. It’s easy to let my true emotions show around Shel. If anyone will understand how I feel, it’s her. “The end of which prominently discussed her upcoming nuptials.”

  Shel’s mouth falls open. “Who sent it?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. There was no return address.”

  “Can I read it?”

  “Sure.” I pick up LB, move her to Shel’s lap, and then pause. James crumpled the article earlier today in his fit of frustration. Maybe it’s still near the top of the garbage can. “Let me get it out of the trash.” I head over to the kitchen, peer into the basket, and pluck out the article-ball. I bring it back to Shel and hand it to her. “Sorry. I got a little upset.”

  “Understandable,” she says and takes the wadded up piece of paper.

  I sit down opposite her, and LB makes her way back to my lap. I scratch behind her ears and concentrate on listening to her purr as Shel unfolds the ball and reads the news story. When she finishes, she crumples it back up and tosses it across the room. “Well, that’s just shitty,” she says. “Why are men such morons?”

  I laugh. “Good question. Maybe we should be asking ourselves why we fall for them in the first place.”

  Shel smiles, but then her amusement fades. “How can I trust Matt after this? How can you?”

  I shake my head. “I have to believe he has a good reason for keeping Dane’s secret. If not, I will gladly be your accomplice in his murder.” I pause. “Did he try to explain himself? What happened?”

  Shel rearranges her body on the couch to get comfortable. “We were hanging out at my place when he got the call from Dane. I take it he found out you knew?”

  “He sent me a text tonight and asked how I was, so I told him. I said I was pissed, he asked why, and I told him to ask his fiancée.”

  This makes Shel smile. “Oooo, nice.”

  “He tried to call me, but I wouldn’t answer.” LB stretches out her front legs and kneads her paws against my thigh. “He texted me again, and I promptly told him to lose my number. I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Well, he must have called Matt right after.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder. “They started to argue, which is weird for them, and when Matt jumped off the couch and started pacing, I knew something big was up. He kept saying, “It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me.” So, naturally, when he hung up the phone I asked him what was going on.” She grimaces. “When he told me, I lit into him about keeping this from you. He knows what you’ve been through! The last thing you need is more heartache. At least if he had told me the truth I could have steered you away from Dane instead of pushing you two together! I’m so mad at him!”

  I can’t help it and laughter escapes me. I slap my hand over my mouth.

  “What’s so funny?” Shel asks. “I’m upset here!”

  “You,” I say with a smile. “You just admitted to setting me up with Dane.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Please. You knew that all along.”

  “True, but you rarely admit to anything.” In the beginning, Shel found creative ways to get Dane and I in the same place at the same time, all the while denying her “involvement.” But, as time went on, she didn’t need to intervene anymore, and that was my own fault. I’m responsible for my own feelings and my own actions.

  “What is it?” Shel asks.

  “What? Nothing.”

  “You just went from laughter to sadness in, like, a second.”

  I sigh. “I do wish that Matt would have said something, even if he didn’t admit the whole truth. Maybe he could have just said ‘he’s not relationship material’ or something like that, instead of going along with your plans. But even so, Dane’s the one who’s ultimately to blame here. At least he is in my eyes.”

  Shel scoots over to sit closer to me and LB. “You don’t blame me then?”

  I frown at her. “No! Why would you think that?”

  “Because I was rooting for Dane and Matt’s involved! I swear to you I didn’t know about Dane’s engagement. If I had, you sure as hell would have known too.”

  I give her a reassuring look. “I know that. It never crossed my mind that either of you knew. I promise.”

  Relief visibly floods through my best friend and her shoulders relax. “Thank God,” she says. “I was beating myself up the whole way here.”

  “Is that why you’re so upset?” I make a face. “Don’t be! Calm down.”

  She laughs. “At first all of my anger was directed at Matt, but as I drove my thoughts started to turn to my part in this. Let’s just say it didn’t help things. I feel so bad, Em.”

  “Well, don’t. I’ve been through worse. Besides, it’s not like Dane and I were a couple anyway. We were friends that should’ve stayed friends. Now we’ll just be…nothing.”

  I hear the familiar chirp of Shel’s phone, and we both glance in the direction of her purse. “I bet I know who that is,” I smile.

  She groans and gets up off the couch. She searches through her bag and finds her phone, dismisses the call, and tosses it back in.

  “What are doing?” I ask. “Wasn’t that Matt?”

  “Yep.”

  “Aren’t you going to talk to him?”

  “Nope.”

  “Come on,” I say and unfold my legs. They’re starting to go to sleep. This disturbs LB and she looks at me, annoyed. “You should at least let him know where you are.”

  Then I hear my phone ring. We look at each other and laugh. “Don’t answer it,” she says.

  I stand. “Let me at least see who it is.” I jog into the bedroom. “It’s Matt!” I holler to Shel.

  “Don’t answer it!” she yells back.

  I do as I’m told; although, I don’t feel good about it. I walk into the living room. “How long are you going to be mad at him?” I ask.

  “That depends. How long are you going to be mad at him?”

  “Shel.” I give her a condescending look. “Don’t fight with Matt over me. Call your boyfriend and make up.”

  She shakes her head defiantly. “No. He needs to learn that if he messes with you, he messes with me. We’re all supposed to be best friends; we’re all supposed to have each other’s backs. We don’t keep secrets that hurt one another.”

  I cross my arms and give her a stern look. “I will not be responsible for the two of you fighting or worse. Call him.”

  “Not right now.”

  “Shel…”

  “He needs to stew about things for awhile. Men have to be trained, Em. He needs to learn a lesson.”

  I look at her skeptically. “What is he, a dog?”

  She laughs.

  I give up rationalizing and bend over to pick up the crumpled Teagan article to deposit back in the trash. “I take it you’re spending the night then?” I ask as I head toward the kitchen.

  “Would that be okay?”

  I toss the ball into the garbage can. “Of course.” When I return to the living room, I find Shel sorting through my meager collection of DVDs. “Movie night?” I ask.

  She nods enthusiastically. “Let’s camp out on the floor and watch movies like we used to when we were kids. We can gorge ourselves on popcorn and other junk. Sound good?”

  “Sounds awesome.” I move to gather my purse and smile. “Go wipe that mascara off your face and let’s get some snacks.”

  Shel and I returned from the store with three bags of junk food, plus a new movie to watch. I don’t know why we felt we had to purchase The Lucky One, because it’s a love story and that’s the last thing we need right now. But Shel
heard it was good, and I hadn’t seen it either, so we got it. We also bought a large assortment of sweet and salty snacks – chips, popcorn, pretzels, red licorice, gummy bears, and, of course, chocolate. You can’t go wrong with Twix, M&M’s, and Butterfingers. We moved my small coffee table out of the way and pulled my blankets and pillows off the bed to set up our “camp” on the floor in front of the television. After we changed into pajamas and set out our snacks picnic style, I pressed play on the DVD, and we proceeded to get lost in the relationship of Beth and Logan. Around two in the morning, with the movie over and our stomachs stuffed, we called it a night.

  “Thanks for letting me stay,” Shel says to me in the darkness.

  “You’re always welcome here. Don’t ever question it.”

  She yawns. “Next time you need to come out to my place.”

  “Will do,” I say sleepily.

  I drift off, but after an hour or so, I wake up needing the bathroom. It must be from all the Coke I drank. I pull myself off the floor and lazily shuffle to the bathroom, cursing my bodily functions. I’m so tired. I wonder what it would be like to not have to do this anymore. The next time I see James I’ll have to ask him if he misses going to the bathroom.

  When I sit down, the toilet seat is freezing and the feeling wakes me up a bit. As I sit there, my mind wanders to Matt and Shel. I wish they wouldn’t fight over me. It’s stupid, really. If anyone should be fighting, it’s me and Matt. Or me and Dane. Wait. We are fighting. Back to me and Matt. Did I mention I was tired?

  As I leave the bathroom, I have a thought. Maybe I can help fix this. I tiptoe to my purse and pull out my phone. Shel made me turn it off after we got back from the store as to avoid any more calls from Matt. I sneak back into my bedroom and turn it on. I have three voicemail messages.

  “Emma? It’s Matt. I know you’re upset. Please call me.”

  “Me again. Do you know where Shel is? I’m worried. Call me.”

  “Obviously you’re beyond angry. I’m sorry. Please tell me that Shel is with you. She won’t answer her phone. Okay. Bye.”

  I send him a quick text, which was my plan all along. He’s probably asleep, but he’ll see it in the morning.

  Shel is here.

  At least he’ll know where she is and stop worrying. I set my phone down and head back out to the living room to go to sleep.

  As soon as my head hits the pillow, my phone chimes, telling me I have a message.

  “Shoot!” I whisper to myself. The last thing I need is for my phone to wake up Shel. It will go off a least four times if I don’t check it. I get up as fast as I can without waking her, taking huge steps like an idiot to get to my bedroom quickly. I snatch the phone from my nightstand. It’s Matt.

  Thank God. I’m on my way.

  What?! No! Shel will kill me! What are you doing awake?! You can’t drive here in the middle of the night!

  I’m up worrying anyway.

  What do I say? That she doesn’t want to see to him? You CANNOT come here.

  Dane is with me. He wants to see you.

  Oh, hell no! Don’t you DARE bring him here!

  Be reasonable.

  You be reasonable! It’s late and I’m tired. I don’t want to argue right now. All I was trying to do was ease Matt’s worry; which I now realize was a mistake. And what is Dane doing with him at this hour? What are they, attached at the hip?

  How mad is she?

  Very.

  How mad are you?

  Extremely.

  I wait and there is no response. I imagine the two of them getting in the car for the long drive out here. A ball of nerves forms in my belly and sits there like a rock, or maybe it’s all the junk I ate coagulating in one spot. Probably a combination of both. Man, I really screwed this up. I switch the phone to vibrate, in case it goes off again before daylight. I stand to go back to our campsite. How am I going to sleep now?

  Buzz. I’ll see you in a few.

  I could cry. NO.

  Don’t worry. I’m alone.

  I barely manage to sleep the rest of the night in anticipation of Matt’s arrival. If he left when he said he did, he should be here soon. I look over at Shel, who is sleeping peacefully, and imagine her wrath when she finds out. I contemplate waking her, so we can make a run for it. Instead, I decide to get up and get dressed.

  When I’m decent, I leave the apartment to wait by the front door for Matt. I don’t want him pressing the intercom and waking Shel. I lean against the sidelight, peering through the window, so I can see him when he arrives. I pick at my cuticles to pass the time and silently wonder if James will visit today. He was so excited yesterday and, the more I think about it, so am I. If Garrett is partially human, what could that mean for us? Who knew that was even possible?

  My light is temporarily blocked by a passing shadow, and I turn to open the door quickly. Matt jumps as my action startles him and he freezes, his finger hovering over the intercom button. I give him a stern look, step outside, and close the door behind me.

  He relaxes. “Em, I…”

  “Wait.” I stop him before he can say anymore. I cross my arms and take a step forward, looking up and down the sidewalk to make sure he came alone.

  Matt sighs. “He’s not here.”

  I turn to face him, raise my eyebrows, and snap, “At least you listened to one thing I said.”

  He runs his hand through his hair. “I just want to make things right. This is killing me.”

  I take a moment to really look at him, and he does look worn. His usually styled hair falls flat against his head, his eyes are red from lack of sleep, and his clothes are wrinkled and unkempt. Geez, it hasn’t even been 24 hours.

  “Matt, I only contacted you so you wouldn’t worry. Not to make you come out here.”

  “Shel can’t avoid me if I’m here and neither can you,” he says and puts his hands on his hips. “I feel terrible, and I deserve a chance to explain, to apologize. Is she awake?”

  “She’s sound asleep and has no idea you’re here. Do you know how much trouble I’m going to be in when she finds out?”

  “I won’t tell,” he says, trying to look innocent. “We can pretend like I took a chance that she was here and just showed up.”

  “Fine.” I pull my keys from my pocket and unlock the front door. I step inside and warn him, “This may not be pretty. Are you prepared?”

  He grimaces. “As much as I’ll ever be.”

  “Give me a minute and then press the intercom,” I tell him. “It’ll probably wake her and she’ll be none the wiser.”

  “Got it. And thanks.”

  I give him a sarcastic smile and close the door. I head to my apartment and enter as quietly as possible. I creep over to Shel, and she’s still asleep on the floor. I barely take two steps away from her when the intercom buzzes, making me jump. Impatient much?

  Shel stirs, but doesn’t open her eyes. I pick up LB, who has left the cozy comfort of Shel’s side, and head to let Matt in, leaving my apartment door open. When we return, Shel is sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She takes one look at us, blinks to focus, and then opens her mouth. “What the hell?”

  “It’s not Emma’s fault,” Matt rushes to defend me. “I figured you would be here.”

  Shel throws off the blanket and gets to her feet. “What part of my not answering your calls didn’t you understand?”

  “I needed to see you. I was worried.” He looks genuinely concerned, as if he thought Shel might have fled the country.

  “I’m a big girl. I’m fine. Now leave.”

  “Shel…” he pleads.

  “I’m serious!” she shouts.

  I hate to see them fight, especially when it’s over something to do with me. I speak up. “Guys, stop! I’m the one who should be mad, not you.”

  They turn around.

  “This is between Dane and me.” I put LB down and give Matt a hard look. “Although, it would’ve been nice to have had some warning.”

  Matt grimace
s. “Dane is my friend –”

  “So is Emma!” Shel snaps.

  Matt closes his eyes then opens them slowly. He takes a deep breath. “When he told me he was starting to have feelings for you, I told him he had to tell you. Demanded it, actually.” He glances at Shel then back to me. “He assured me that he was going to break things off with Teags; he said he didn’t love her anymore. Said maybe he never did.”

  “Teags?” I ask. My mind flashes back to the day of my fight with Dane, when I was packing up to move to Western. When he told Matt, “I’m headed to the airport. Teags will be here in a few hours.”

  “We’ve been calling her that since high school,” Matt says. “Em, the girl has been gone forever. I was surprised to hear that she was finally coming home. Then you and Dane stopped speaking to each other, and I thought bringing it up now wouldn’t do any good. It’s really not my place if you two aren’t together.”

  I stare at him in silence, digesting what he has said.

  “How did you find out anyway?” he asks.

  Shel and I make eye contact and I nod, giving her the go ahead to explain. “She got a newspaper article in the mail, a spotlight piece on Teagan about her trip. The end of it talked about the engagement.”

  Matt looks at me, confused. “Who sent you that?”

  “I have no idea.”

  Matt takes a few steps toward me. “Em, Dane is wrecked over this. He feels horrible that you didn’t hear about it from him personally. You should really talk to him.”

  “Ah, not gonna happen,” I say adamantly. “He basically cheated on her with me. Besides, he’ll be fine. His woman is home to take care of him now.”

  Matt lets out a sharp laugh.

  “What? Is there trouble in paradise?”

  “Teagan isn’t exactly the maternal, caring type.”

  “What are you trying to say?” Shel asks.

  “That she’s a raging bitch,” Matt says matter-of-factly. “She always has been. I’ve never liked her.”

  I can’t help but smile as images from the show Bridezillas flash through my mind. “Well, I guess that will make for an interesting wedding.”

  Matt shakes his head. “Who says there’s going to be a wedding?”