Resurrecting Ghosts (MC Romance) (Kings of Chaos Book 4)

by Shyla Colt

  “No, it’s sweet, thank you. This just opened my eyes to the fact that secrets and fear can twist and wrap us until we can’t see which way is up. I don’t want that for us. I know there will be many things you can’t tell me, but everything else I want full disclosure on. We have some things to work on, both of us and I think since we got them out in the open, it’s been so much better. D-don’t you?”

  I can feel her gaze searing a hole into my head like lasers. “I do. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to talk at first. We don’t talk shit out much around the clubhouse, and I hate that the past even happened. If I ignore it, I can pretend it never happened. Until I can’t.”

  “The dreams?”

  “They tend to happen when I poke at the past. I thought I was doing fine until I found out about the bean and it all crashed down on me. I don’t want to be a subpar dad because I didn’t handle my own shit. You both deserve better than that. So yeah, I’m going to work on it.”

  Her fingers brush mine and she laces our digits. “I’m so glad you said that because I arranged an appointment with Dr. Reichsight in two weeks.”

  Sneaky little bitch. I walked right into that one.

  “You’re still up for going, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  She grins, and I know I’m completely and utterly fucked with no lube. There’s very little I wouldn’t do to see this woman’s face light up.

  She gasps. “Oh, my God! Are you taking me where I think you are?”

  “I don’t know, you tell me.”

  “Sea World?”

  “Thought I heard you mention you liked this place a lot growing up.”

  “I did. It’s been so long since I came back here.” She bounces in her seat.

  Now I know I’ve done my job. Today we’re going to forget about all the crazy shit going on and enjoy ourselves. I don’t even mind that I’m stuck in a cage. We pull into the gate, and I’m grateful that it’s early enough to not be jam packed yet. Summer means long lines, aggravated parents, and rambunctious kids, everywhere you go in So Cal. It’s the price we pay for being one of the top spots to vacation.

  I find a parking spot that’s not in another zip code, and we walk to the park. She tucks her arm in mine and we walk in. As we enter the park, parents pull their kids a little closer and give me the side eye.

  Ruthie is either oblivious or good at ignoring them.

  “What do you want to do first? Today is all about you.”

  “I want to ride the Sky ride. It’ll let us see how the parks changed without wearing down our feet.”

  “Smart thinking.”

  “I’m good for some things.”

  “A lot of things,” I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leans in to me and I relax. This might be the first date I’ve been on as an adult. Last time I tried to impress a female I was in my senior year of high school. Damn, I’m getting old. I can’t keep my eyes off her as we head to the ticket booth. She’s literally radiating joy and contentment. She grabs my hand and pulls me to the lift entrance. When she’s like this, I can’t resist the enchantment she weaves effortlessly. It’s a break from the chaos I exist in. It takes a strong man to be in an M.C., because shit is always going left, and you always have to keep one eye open. It’s a steady tension most people can’t understand.

  “Stop.”

  I blink. “Stop what?”

  “Thinking. We’re supposed to be having fun.” She grabs my cut, pulls me to her and rises on her tiptoes. She slips her tongue between my lips and refocuses my attention on her as she fucks my mouth and blows my mind. This woman has a million different sides to her. Most I discover, I like.

  A throat clears.

  We pull apart and she grins sheepishly.

  “It’s your turn to load,” the pimply faced teen with unruly blond curls says.

  “Thanks, man,” I say with a wink. One day you’ll understand. We climb in and he closes the door.

  She shoves her sunglasses onto the top of her head. “I don’t want to miss anything.”

  I hold back my laughter. I never thought I’d think some chick was cute, but there’s really no other word for it. She has me going soft.

  “You’re staring,” she says.

  “What? I like what see.” I shrug.

  “Oh, and what’s that?”

  “My woman happy and relaxed. It’s been a crazy couple of months.”

  “To say the least.” Her face contorts with pain.

  I know there’s more to the story than what she’s let on. I won’t push her. I want her to come to me on her own. I lean back in the blue bucket, and it hits me. This is a preview of what’s to come. Amusement park, cages, beach days and animated movies. A smile sneak across my lips. It reminds me of my life growing up.

  Grandma and Grandpa would be ecstatic right now about the baby and Ruthie. I’m still not sure how I landed her. She’s way too put together and successful for me. I’m fully aware that I’m a mess. My mind turns to the appointment she made. Even now, she’s trying to clean my mind of the clutter trapping me in the past. It’s been a long time since someone cared about the man beneath the cut. Not Skull, but Tritt. It’s why I’m pushing past my comfort zones and trying to handle my shit. I have a chance at something I thought was lost to me. A family outside of the club. A little person that’s half me.

  The thought of the potential problems they may face mentally still scares the shit out of me, but it’s a moot point. My kid is on the way and I need to be ready for all scenarios. It’s incredible the motivation that children cause.

  “I bet you wish you were anywhere else right now.”

  “This is the only place I want to be.” I lean forward and run my finger down the side of her face.

  A flush creeps in on the tips of her ears and her cheeks. She studies me from underneath long lashes.

  I fucked up with her. I’m still trying to work my way back to where we were. I humor her as she takes me by penguins, polar bears, and dolphins. Her enthusiasm grows with each new place. It’s easy to see her as a child, curious, and full of energy. My mind forms a mental picture of a mini Ruthie with my dark eyes. A lump forms in my throat. I’ve been keeping up with shit. The kid is now the size of an avocado. With every week that passes, shit is getting more real.

  We closed the park down and I can see her losing energy. “You ready?” I ask kissing the top of her head.

  “I don’t want to miss the fireworks.

  “We can see them from the parking lot.”

  “Okay.” She gives me a sleepy smile.

  I pull her close to me, and make my way through the crowd. People give me a wide birth. Times like this, it’s helpful as hell. We make it to the car, and I roll down the windows to let the hot air out and crank the air conditioner. I lean against the car and pat my thighs. “Come here.” She steps between them, facing me. “You have fun today, Mama?”

  “So much fun. I needed this. I needed you.”

  I bury my fingers in her hair. “I’m always going to be here when you need me.”

  “I’m starting to believe that.” She tilts her head up.

  I lean down, capturing her lips as the explosions start behind me. I’m not sure if the bright lights bursting behind my lids are the fireworks she had in mind. But I appreciate them a hell of a lot more. I tilt my head deepening the kiss, as I taste her honeyed flavor. I will never get my fill of this woman.

  ***

  I’m not sure what I expected, but the small bird like lady with a choppy haircut, flowing skirt, and Birkenstocks wasn’t it. I lean back against the comfortable green couch, lace my fingers, and try not to squirm. The thought of someone looking into my head doesn’t sit well with me. She seems nice enough. There’s a calm about her that extends out to me.

  “How about we start simple, Skull? Tell me w
hat brought you here.”

  “Nightmares.”

  “That’s a start. What are they about?”

  “My parent’s death. My father killed my mother and then turned the gun on himself. He was a schizophrenic and I spent a good portion of my life fearing I would have the same problems.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how that must’ve affected you. I didn’t see anything about schizophrenia in your records.”

  “It seems to have skipped me. Once I passed twenty, the doctors felt pretty confident that I’d dodged a bullet.”

  “And how did that make you feel?” she asks.

  “Lucky, but responsible.”

  “How so?”

  “If I passed this on as a carrier to another person, it’d be selfish.”

  “You know they’ve come a long way since the fifties with medication. Mental illness has a stigma to it even now. But living well with these illnesses is completely possible. Many people have wonderful, fulfilling lives.”

  I want to protest, but it’d would make me look stupid. This woman is a professional. If anyone knew the truth about mental illness, it’s her.

  “I find when we’re afraid of something, learning everything possible helps alleviate some of that dread.”

  I grunt.

  “Tell me, what are you looking to get out of our time?”

  “Some sort of peace. I almost lost my Old Lady because I was terrified of passing this on to my kid. I avoided relationships because deep down, I feared becoming my father. At this point in my life, I can’t afford to hold onto that baggage. Not if I want to keep my family.”

  “If you’re willing to put in the work, face the things that you’ve avoided, and be real with me, we’ll get you there.”

  I think of the woman who relocated to my Grandparent’s home with little to no fuss. The one who’s ignoring her mother and her sister’s call because they might be a threat to the club. She deserves a man that is whole. “I can do that, Doctor R.”

  Chapter Ten

  Ruthie

  “It’s like a bottle of Pepto exploded,” Blue says as she rotates in a circle and takes in the living room.

  “No, it’s not. This is a light pink,” I defend.

  “Ugh.”

  “Her colors are pink and gray, we have to stick with the theme,” I urge.

  “I know, but holy cow! Here hold on to this,” Blue says, handing me a large balloon. I hold the pink balloon and she wraps it with light pink tulle. We finish wrapping them and spread them around the living room.

  “I love this house, Ruthie.”

  “I do too. I can’t believe he forced us to have the bachelorette party here.”

  “I can, he’s so overprotective. It’s pretty adorable.”

  “Shut it, Blue. Shadow is the same way. Henceforth, Bolty being bored out of his mind,” I say nodding my head toward the sliding glass door that leads to the back patio. We’ve dubbed him the Grill Master, then set him up with an Xbox, and movies in the guest room.

  “Oh, no. Not even close. Skull is in full on protective Daddy mode. Speaking of, when are you going to spill the beans?”

  “After Dixie Rose’s wedding. If my belly stays smallish. I swear it’s growing at an exponential rate. We didn’t want to steal any thunder, and we wanted a chance to work our shit out.”

  “Have you?” Blue asks.

  “I think so. I mean, we both have a long way to go in some areas. But the major speed bumps have been run.”

  “Good. That makes me happy to hear. He’s different now. I don’t want to say softer, but more. He’s moved forward from the eternal child stage I think every member of the club goes through.”

  “I hope you’re right, ‘cause I kind of love the asshole.”

  She drops the Cheers, Bitches flag banner. “Love?”

  “Head over heels, rest of my life, if he asked I’d say yes, ride or die in love.”

  “Oh, shit!” Blue whoops and hugs me tight. “I knew it! I just knew the two of you were meant to be.”

  I laugh, relieved to have the truth out.

  “Does he know?”

  “I don’t think he’s ready.”

  “Bull, you’re his Old Lady and having his baby. If not now, when?”

  “Come on, Blue. One bombshell at a time, yeah?”

  She releases me and smacks her lips. “You know how fast shit goes down around here. Don’t leave things unsaid.”

  “I hear you.”

  “Good. Stubborn ass. It figures you of everyone I know, would end up being. Mrs. Skull.”

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” I retort as I bend to grab the banner and we move to hang it against the wall. “What’s next?” I ask. It’s barley ten o’clock and the party isn’t until later, but we have our work cut out for us. Dixie Rose more than any one I know, deserves to have the perfect party and wedding.

  “We got the gummies soaking in champagne, the strawberry filled margarita shots are good. The cake is probably ready to decorate along with the sugar cookies.”

  “Let’s do the cookies first to give the icing time to set.”

  “Deal.” She pulls out the small tubs of icing we bought.

  Then I get the rest of the decorations and piping bags down from the cupboard. We’d been living in his grandparents’ house for a few weeks. The transition had been ridiculously easy. It added an extra ten to fifteen minutes onto my work travel, but I didn’t mind. The vintage charm puts a smile on my face daily.

  I giggle as we pull out the butt shaped cookies we’d baked last night along with the penis cake.

  “Time to put some underwear on these naughty bitches,” Blue sniggers.

  We stuff the bags and work in a companionable silence.

  “So. I want to run something by you,” Blue says.

  “What’s up?”

  “You’re almost four months pregnant right?”

  “Yeah, about there, why?”

  “Shadow and I have been thinking about trying…you know, so our kids can be close.”

  “Are you serious?” I whisper.

  “As a heart attack.”

  “Oh my God…Yes! Do it.”

  “Nothing is set in stone. But I wanted to know what you think. I mean you’d be just a step ahead of me, so I could help you through everything and you could tell me all the shit people neglect to tell their pregnant friends.”

  “It’s a deal. God, he’s such a good dad, and you’ll be an amazing mother.”

  “It feels good to say it out loud,” Blue whispers.

  “Are you trying?”

  “Not yet. This may be my last hurrah.”

  “Good, drink enough for both of us.”

  “Oh, believe me I will. Right after I make sure Dixie is good and wasted.”

  I laugh. “I can’t wait to see her drunk. She’s so collected all the time.”

  “Don’t let her fool you. She’s Chaos through and through.”

  We set aside the cookies and turn our attention to the cake.

  “Alright, let’s MaGuvyer this bitch,” I say as we run the tubing through the cake and connect it to the whip cream can.

  “I cannot wait to see her face when we set this off,” Blue says.

  “Me either. Did Nev end up finding a sitter?”

  “Yeah, her and Mimi are going to car pool with Dixie.”

  “I’ve got a room set up for her. You’re my bunk bitch for the night.”

  “You know you’re the only woman I’d have a threesome with,” Blue says straight faced.

  We look at each other and burst into laughter.

  The sliding door opens and Bolton steps in. “Do I even want to know?”

  I shake my head unable to stop laughing as tears slide down my f
ace.

  “Oookay. I’ll just be in the guest room, playing games.” He walks by shaking his head.

  “So like his father,” Blue says.

  “And you love it about him,” I say after I catch my breath.

  “Yeah, one of the many things I love about him,” Blue says with a contented sigh.

  “I love seeing you so happy.”

  “Ditto, babe,” Blue says with a wink. “How are you feeling by the way?”

  “Great, the morning sickness has gone for the most part. Did Shadow tell you what the boys were going to do?”

  “Stay at the clubhouse.”

  “So get wasted out of their mind and dick around with the King Chasers.”

  “Some of them, not our men, though.”

  “Damn straight. I’m sure Echo wouldn’t either, right?”

  “I never asked her about their arrangement, but given all he went through to keep her, I’m leaning toward no,” she says.

  I digest the information. We’re rare jewels in this world. It’s a harsh truth. The ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ thing is alive and well. Especially, when they go on runs. I couldn’t live with the what if’s.

  ***

  Headlights shine through the house. “They’re here!” I squeal.

  “Let me check,” Bolton says all business. My nephew is really coming into his own. It’s an amazing and terrifying thing to witness. All too soon, he’ll be prospecting, and losing the last of his innocence. He walks to the window and pulls the curtain aside slightly. “Yeah, it’s them. We have prospects who’ll be riding by the house all night too.”

  “Thanks, Bolty,” Blue says as she grabs my hands and tugs me toward the door. Holding hands, we giggle as we wait for the right moment to unleash our surprise.

  He opens the door, the girls walk in and we pull the string on the net we’ve taped above the door. Pink and silver balloons float down.

  “Surprise!”

  Dixie Rose laughs. “You girls are too much.”

  “Please, queen for the day, have a seat and let us crown you,” Blue says.

  We close the door.

  Then Bolton quietly slips away.

  I can’t help but snicker. Once the alcohol hits, he’ll be getting an education.