Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?...

by K. L. Shandwick

  It was almost Christmas, and Mandy, Holly, Elle, and I were discussing some party nights out together. The subject of Luca came up, and I had been thinking about wanting to take things further for a couple of weeks, but the thought of hurting him held me back.

  XrAid was going on tour in a couple of weeks, and the long distance thing was going to be very difficult. Luca said he was okay with it, and that he could begin to synchronize his schedule more in line with mine as the year went on.

  My feelings were that things weren’t right with Elle. The vibe she was giving off made me think she was hiding something from me.

  We were preparing some dips and snacks on a tray, while Mandy and Holly were plugging in the karaoke machine, arguing over the songs they wanted to sing.

  I asked Elle if she was okay, then flat-out told her to spit out what was worrying her. “Drew has asked me to marry him,” she said without expression.

  The way she said it told me; this was about me. She would have been ecstatic to share her news with me under normal circumstances.

  I put the knife down I was using and flung my arms around her. “Congratulations, Elle,” I squealed. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me before?”

  I knew why, and I was hurt. She felt she couldn’t share one of the most important events of her life with me. I knew she was trying to spare my feelings.

  Cutting the celery for the dips again, “Elle, I am so happy for you both. Don’t ever let what happened between Alfie and I affect what you and Drew have. I’m okay with the choices I’ve made. I’ve got Luca now.”

  Elle started crying and placed her head on my shoulder. “Sorry, Lily. I just didn’t know what to say. I know how long you struggled with all that shit about Alfie.”

  Her brows bunched again. “What, Elle?” I asked, and her eyes searched my face.

  “I wanted to ask you something, but I don’t want you to have to say yes, if you feel uncomfortable in any way.”

  “Shoot!”

  Swallowing, Elle took my hand. “I want you to be my maid of honor, but Alfie is the best man. I don’t want to put you on the spot. I had an argument with Drew that I’d known you first, but as soon as Drew told Alfie, he felt obliged to ask him right away. I think Drew feels the same about you guys and doesn’t want to make things worse for either of you.”

  I hugged Elle again. “You won’t get any drama from me. I can do this. No problem. You are my best friend Elle. Well, apart from Jack, and he doesn’t count this time, because he’s a boy.”

  Elle smirked. “Oh Jeez, you don’t think he’ll want to be a bridesmaid do you?” We both burst out laughing.

  “Hell, with Jack, honey? You never can tell.” I giggled at her wit, but with Jack, there was an outside chance that he’d want a role in the limelight.

  Elle asked Mandy and Holly to be bridesmaids as well. They were amazed to be considered. Elle knew that Maddie, our friend in London, wouldn’t make the trip out to the USA for the wedding.

  She had a toddler to think about and was already pregnant again. Emily, our other female friend, was currently working on a production for a local theatre group, and her world revolved around musical theatre.

  She wouldn’t be available for the next few months, and Elle didn’t want to plan her wedding to Emily’s tune.

  I was delighted that Mandy and Holly were going to be with me in the bridal party. Apart from them being my friends, with Alfie being the best man, it would be important for them to have my back if I needed them.

  When we were talking, I knew I had to make this okay for Elle. We couldn’t have any bad feeling between us. It would have created a horrible atmosphere for Drew and Elle’s wedding. I would hate for that to happen.

  All this stuff between Alfie and me had gone on long enough. We needed to be okay in the same room as each other, if only for their sakes.

  “Does Alfie still have the same phone number?”

  Elle’s eyes widened. “Yeah, why? I shouldn’t tell you this, but when they hit the big time, the ‘suits’ wanted them all to have new numbers. Alfie wouldn’t change his. He didn’t want to miss you if you ever wanted to call him.”

  My heart stuttered then I felt sick again. It was such a sad statement, because it meant he’d been waiting to hear from me, just like sometimes I stared at my phone waiting for him to call.

  I, on the other hand, did something to deal with that craving. I changed my number, not once but twice, since I had called him that last time.

  “I’m going to call him. We all need to blow this thing wide open and be the adults we are. He’s with someone else. I’m with someone else. You and Drew are getting married. I’m not having one of the most important people in my life cut out, because we didn’t work out.”

  Looking at the girls, their mouths were gaping wide. Holly stood up and walked over to me. She felt my forehead then hugged herself. “Do you have a fever, honey?”

  Smirking, I said, “I’m serious. Look, give me my cell.”

  Before I could back down, I called the number that was on my list of contacts. Yep, he was still in my phone, and my heart was pounding once I’d pressed the button.

  The last time I had called it was when I had ended things between us, but it ported to each new phone I’d had along with all the other numbers. I never deleted it again after he punched it in again when we got together again last time.

  The line connected and Alfie answered on the fifth ring. “Yeah?” It occurred to me that he didn’t know who was calling him. When I heard his voice, I almost hung up.

  My lips were dry, and my eyes flicked to the girls who were all sitting holding their breaths, waiting to hear what I was going to say.

  Clearing my throat, as I held the phone against my chest so that he couldn’t hear me, “Alfie, it’s me, Lily.”

  I heard the disbelief in his voice when he said, “Hey, it’s really you?” His voice sounded gentle, melodic, and soothing.

  My eyes closed at the sound of his voice, but I forced myself to focus on the task at hand.

  My heart was racing. A longing to see him again flooded my senses. I wasn’t going to get hung up on how much I loved him, or how not being with him made me ache again.

  Acutely aware that he hadn’t said my name, I wondered if he hadn’t because Zoe was with him. “Can you talk?” I heard rustling and then a click as if he’d gone outside.

  Then I could hear a lawn mower in the distance. Where he was, it must have been a little windy, and the microphone in his phone was picking it up. “I can now,” he cooed down the phone.

  I wasn’t going to give him any time to think I wanted anything more than what this call was about. “I need to talk with you about Elle and Drew.”

  Alfie’s tone was a little clipped, and I could imagine his jawline flexing. “What about them?” I exhaled and told him that I was maid of honor, and he was the best man.

  I heard him chuckle, but I ignored it. “Alfie whatever our differences, we will have to spend time together to help Elle and Drew to plan. We have to be mature about this and allow our friends the respect to plan their perfect day. I know that’s going to mean parties and activities leading up to the big day.”

  He listened silently. “We all have time off over Christmas, let’s plan some nights out. We need to show them we can do this. They have made their choices of the people they want to stand up for them. The rest is up to us, Alfie. We have to show them they chose well.”

  Feeling proud, I could do this for Elle, until I heard Alfie’s reply to my suggestion. It wasn’t the reply I needed. “Lily, I’ll do whatever it takes to spend some time with you.”

  I swallowed hard and pressed on. “This isn’t so that we can spend time together, Alfie. I’m doing this to make our friends feel happy at having us in the same room together for their big day.”

  He let out a long breat
h. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make Drew and Elle happy,” he murmured.

  “Great, make sure Zoe has plenty of rest. Us girls are going to party hard from now onwards. Oh, and Alfie, I will make sure that Zoe feels part of the group, just make sure you do the same with Luca.”

  Alfie growled, “You want me to be friends with some other guy that’s fucking you, Lily? Are you out of your tiny mind? You really think I can do that?”

  I didn’t correct him about how Luca and I were. “Not only do I expect it, but for Drew and Elle, you have to do it.”

  The conversation drifted, and he asked me how I was doing, and I knew the conversation was leading to something I wouldn’t want to talk about, us.

  I politely told him I was with the girls, and they were waiting to eat. “I’ll call you tomorrow, have a great night,” he said, his voice sounded sarcastic. “Thanks,” I gushed trying to sound enthusiastic and hung up, trembling inside.

  Elle hugged me hard. “You don’t know what this means to me,” she cooed.

  Nodding, I said, “Sure I do. That’s why I’m going to pull up my big girl panties and deal with Alfie and Luca being in the same room.”

  She smirked. “You’re definitely not the same meek little girl I sent out here to study.”

  Mandy turned and smiled at me. “You were meek?” She giggled, but she knew exactly what Elle meant. Holly chuckled. “Yeah, Lily was a peach until she discovered being a bad ass American rock chic was much more fun than being a holier-than-thou virgin from England.

  The girls and I spent the following three hours planning some amazing nights out. Afterwards, we sang loads of crap songs on the karaoke machine.

  Four jugs of margaritas later made our choices fun. We picked some really hick tunes to rock out to. I loved spending time with them and knew how important they were going to be for me in the future. Especially once I started to tour with XrAid.

  I was going to struggle for female company on the road. So I was depending on Mandy, Holly, and Elle to meet with me whenever we could. These were my friends before fame, and I planned on keeping them.

  They were the ones that would always keep me real in the future. I was lucky, as I also had my friends in London. So I had some people on both sides of the pond.

  Luca and I were getting closer by the day, and although it wasn’t love yet, he was becoming important to me. He came over in the afternoon on the first of our planned nights out.

  Chapter 12 – Stolen glances

  I was just about to shower when my doorbell rang. I had begun my pampering routine to prepare for the night out. Jack and Rosie were at the beach.

  I answered the door in my robe, and Luca pushed me back, playfully grabbing me by both lapels. “Non posso vivere senzate.” He smiled seductively at me. “Venti qui e baciami.” His lips met mine, and he dipped me, giving me a passionate kiss that left me breathless.

  “Wow! Now in English, I want the full effect.” I giggled.

  “The first part I can’t live without you. Come here and kiss me… you already know.”

  I smiled. “That’s very romantic, Luca.”

  He shrugged his shoulders and laid on his thickest Italian accent. “Whata can ah saya…I’m a very romantic, Latino guy.” He smirked then chuckled but leaned forward and kissed me again more slowly.

  Luca lay on my bed making phone calls while I took my shower, and when I came back into the bedroom, his eyes were focused on my towel.

  “You want me to go somewhere while you get ready?”

  Smirking, I said, “Oh, you want to run now?” I teased.

  Scowling, Luca said, “Why would I run? You’re here.”

  Luca had been consistent and patient with me, waiting until I was ready. He hadn’t judged me or pushed me to do more than I was ready for. I shook my head. “I don’t mind getting dressed in front of you, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m teasing you either.”

  Luca grinned. “Sure, I can handle you getting dressed in front of me; the fact that you’re willing to do that shows me we’re making progress.”

  I didn’t dress slowly or provocatively. I was already dry, so I pulled my underwear out of the drawer before I dropped the towel.

  Used to dressing in front of the boys in the band now, I didn’t mind, but this was a little different. None of them had seen me fully naked, although, some of my undergarments left nothing to the imagination.

  Luca remained passive but didn’t take his eyes off of me until I was fully dressed. I was glad I had extended my boundaries today. It gave me the confidence I needed to face Alfie when we went out. I hoped dressing in front of him gave Luca the confidence to deal with him too. Luca was normally a very confident man, but I think he was a bit intimidated to be competing with a rock star.

  The only time I have ever seen any self- doubt from him has been around me. I had to be sure that whatever Alfie tried tonight, Luca would be able to manage.

  I was excited for tonight to come for another reason. Today was four days before Christmas. Jack had flown in from London, and although he had Rosie with him, Elle and I were so happy to have him with us.

  I was overwhelmed Jack was spending Christmas Day with me. In all the years we had known each other, we’d never woken up on Christmas morning together.

  Both his parents and mine were in New York, but then planned on coming to Florida tomorrow, the day before Christmas Eve. My dad had rented a six bedroom villa so that we could all stay in one place.

  Jack and Rosie had a room, my parents and his parents in two others, leaving one each for Lennon and Cody, Holly and Brett, and me. Mandy and Neil, and Digs and Shawn were spending the day at their parents’ home but coming over in the evening. It was going to be amazing.

  Jack and Rosie were staying with Holly and me until tomorrow. Rosie was still struggling with Jack’s relationship with me, but I think she took Mandy’s warning to heart and was trying not to let his flirty ways toward me affect her.

  I told him to tone it down, but Jack still felt that if Rosie couldn’t handle our relationship, then she shouldn’t stay with him. It made me wonder if he really loved her, because he wasn’t considering her feelings that much.

  Knowing, I didn’t love Luca yet either, but I wouldn’t like him to feel bad about Jack and me either. I was wondering how Luca would cope when Jack began his banter with me. I had spoken about him a lot to Luca, and I felt sure that Jack would put him to the test in the following days.

  We had decided to go to D’mond for the first of our planned nights out. Mainly so that we could all touch base with Louie.

  We hadn’t seen him in weeks, and although the band had moved on, he was still a close friend. Being in familiar surroundings was important for me tonight too.

  I felt I was going to need my wits about me, especially socializing in the same place as Alfie.

  I dressed in a short clingy deep wine-colored satin dress with matching shoes. The weather was cold enough for me to wear silk thigh highs. I wore my hair down and applied a little mascara and lip gloss. When I walked into the sitting room, Jack and Luca’s heads turned in my direction.

  “Damn, Lily. You look so hot I might have to strip that dress off of you right now to cool you off.” Jack smirked wiggling his brows.

  He rose off the chair and kissed the side of my cheek. Rosie looked ticked and stared down at her lap. “Behave yourself Jack. Everyone knows you’re all talk and no action,” I chided, feeling a little sorry for Rosie and Luca.

  Jack’s brow bunched, and I realized this was the first time I hadn’t gone along with his flirty role play. When I saw what I said had hurt him, I closed the space between us and cuddled him. He kissed the top of my head.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled not caring what we looked like to Luca and Rosie.

  Jack flashed a grin. “You’re forgiven.” He smirked. When I broke aw
ay, I saw Luca’s face. It was passive, and if the exchange between Jack and I had affected him, he masked it well. Rosie, on the other hand, got up and headed into the bedroom mumbling she’d left her purse in there.

  We had hired a mini bus for our night out, because we knew we’d all be drinking alcohol, and no one wanted to be the designated driver. With it being so near to Christmas, everyone wanted to have some fun.

  When we walked to our ride for the night, Luca clasped his hand in mine and lifted it to his lips. “You look so elegant, Lily.”

  I smiled at him. “I don’t believe anyone has ever said that to me before.”

  Luca placed his lips near my ear. “I would say a lot more, but I don’t want to make you blush in front of your friends.” He smirked at me, and I saw the briefest glimpse of his perfect teeth through his lips.

  Holly and Brett weren’t getting a ride to D’mond but would be traveling back with us at the end of the night.

  We picked up Cody, Lennon, and Digs on the way, and Cody disclosed that he’d actually invited a girl tonight.

  Lennon mumbled something about having to use Digs as his wingman tonight, and how that might diminish the quality of the women he could hook up with.

  Giggling at Lennon’s comment, but I wasn’t sure if he was being serious, so I wanted to make sure that Digs wasn’t hurt by his lack of tact at the way Digs looked.

  “Digs, honey, don’t mind him. If you accept that you two are pairing up tonight, it would be the quality of women Lennon attracts, that you might be concerned about. I know I don’t mix business with pleasure, but just for the record, you’re my favorite.” Digs flashed me a grin and winked at Lennon, who scowled and shook his head.

  Jack muttered something about him getting relegated to the back benches with all these American guys demanding my attention. Luca smoothly interjected that I had been merely playing with them, and that now I’d discovered hot Latinos were a much better class of man.

  I grinned at Luca. His eyes twinkled as he laughed softly at the deadpan faces of my bandmates and my best friend.