Barri Bryan - Return to Paradise.html

by Return to Paradise (NCP) (lit)

  "Mom, please don't cry. It was Dad's idea. He came to my office, and refused to leave until I saw him. I didn't have much choice, so I listened. He insisted that I draw the papers up that day, so I did. All you have to do is sign them."

  Gently, because saying it caused her so much pain, Kate admonished, "Did it ever occur to either of you to ask me what I wanted?"

  With a shrug, Michael admitted, "I don't guess it did."

  Squeezing her eyes together, Kate tried to stop the tears that shimmered beneath her lashes. "Michael, I love you for caring about me, for championing my cause, so gallantly, but my home is here now. I don't want to go back to Dallas."

  "Mom, I thought you'd be pleased." The hurt look that twisted Michael's lips into a bitter smile, broke Kate's heart.

  With one swift movement Sharon came to sit on the other side of Kate. "Don't cry, Kate." Slipping her arm around Kate's shoulder, Sharon laid her other hand over Michael's. "I told Michael he shouldn't try to appease his guilty conscience by going along with Jim's plan, but he refused to listen."

  Kate wiped her eyes with her fingers, as she searched for a way to utter what must be said. "Mamma and I have signed a five-year partnership agreement with Hank Sinclair. It's a fair and profitable arrangement. My life is here now, with Mamma and Cody. I am pleased that you care enough to be concerned, but I am more than capable of managing my own life, and from this day forward that is what I intend to do."

  "Michael's intentions were the best." Sharon reached into her pocket, found a tissue, and handed it to Kate. "He was trying to make things right, not interfere in your life."

  Kate dabbed the tissue to her eyes. "I don't think Michael realizes I have a life. He thinks my existence is bound up in my past, and it isn't anymore." Blinking away tears, she turned to her son. "Can you understand, Michael, why I must say no to Jim's generous offer?"

  Standing, Sharon offered her hand to Michael. "Let it go, Michael, Kate said no."

  "I won't try to persuade you, Mom." Michael helped Kate to her feet. "Maybe it's better this way. But I think Dad is going to be disappointed."

  A dozen cutting remarks leaped into Kate's head. She stopped each one of them, before it could find its way to her tongue. "He will find a way to accept it. He has no choice."

  Kate dusted her backside with her hands. "Let's go. We have a wedding to attend."

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  "I Belle, take thee, Cody..." Through a rainbow of tears Kate watched the wedding ceremony unfold.

  The sun through the oaks dappled the ground in swaying patterns of light and darkness. Somewhere in the distance a soaring bird called to its mate.

  "I, Cody take thee Belle..." Kate's eyes moved from Cody to Hank. For a man who didn't let passion dictate promises, he looked suitably moved, and surprisingly somber. He was also incredibly handsome, standing straight and tall beside Cody as the moving patterns of sun and shadow playing across his strong profile. Kate found herself wondering what he must be thinking. There was no way to tell. His expression was unreadable.

  "In sickness and in health..." Hank's eyes caught Kate's, and for the space of a heartbeat, she glimpsed there, vulnerability, hunger, and a flash of liquid green. The residue of a tear?

  "To have and to hold..." Kate dropped her eyes. The sentimentality of the moment was playing havoc with her imagination. She had seen the sunlight's gleam, nothing more.

  "I now pronounce you..." The brief, beautiful ceremony was drawing to a close. A hush fell over the gathered group. The breeze that had sighed through the trees, held its breath. The birds ceased their incessant calling and answering. Even the creaking windmill postponed its next groan.

  "You may kiss your bride." On cue, the windmill groaned, the breeze mumbled through the leaves of the old oaks, the birds tested the air with cries, loud and clear. And Kate breathed a tremendous sigh of relief.

  She felt that same sense of relief two hours later, when Belle tossed her bouquet, and she and Cody pulled away in Cody's pickup. Having both York and Hank at the wedding reception, had made her edgy. But all had gone well, and when York left early, pleading he had a business appointment, Kate had been grateful for that circumstance.

  As he was leaving, York had pulled Kate aside. "Don't forget our date next Friday. We should leave early. Can you be ready by seven o'clock?"

  "Seven in the morning? How long does this convention last?"

  "It lasts three days, but I hesitated to ask you to stay overnight in a hotel with me in San Antonio." York lowered his head, seemingly overcome with shyness.

  "I'll be ready," Kate agreed hastily, afraid that the other guests would wonder what was prompting this whispered conference. When she dared look around, no one seemed to be paying the slightest attention.

  But later, when Hank was helping Aunt Cat down the steps, she turned to Kate and asked in that high pitched voice, "Kate, dear, are you carrying on with that York Taylor?"

  Maybe living with someone like Mamma all this time had conditioned Kate against being upset by such an unexpected personal inquiry from a little old lady. "No, Aunt Cat. York is just a neighbor, and a friend."

  "Well, do be careful, Dear. Ask him his intentions."

  Over his aunt's head, Hank smiled and gave Kate a broad wink before taking Aunt Cat's arm and leading her toward his car.

  Now, after watching the last guest depart, Kate sat on the top step of the porch, and closed her eyes. She didn't want to plan and oversee a wedding again for at least another decade.

  "Mom?"

  Kate opened her eyes to see Suzie standing over her, clutching Belle's bridal bouquet. "I caught Grandma's bouquet."

  Physical weariness tugged at every cell of Kate's body. "How could you miss? Grandma aimed at your head and threw."

  Suzie smiled. "I know. I asked her to."

  "Suzie! What an underhanded thing to do."

  "Maybe I should have told her to aim it at you instead. When you get back to Dallas, who knows what will happen?"

  As weary as she was, those words pushed Kate to her feet. "Come into the house. What I have to say, I want to say to your brother also. How long have you two been hatching this little scheme."

  Suzie tagged after Kate, catching the screen door just before it slammed. "I wanted to tell you the good news the minute I got here, but Michael thought he should handle it."

  "Good news?" Kate didn't know which was worse, her children's long period of indifference and antagonism, or their tardy decision to make amends. "How dare the two of you conspire against your own mother?" Kate bit her lip in repentant haste. She had lost her daughter once because of her quick temper and uncontrollable tongue. "I know you meant well, but..." Kate sank down into the worn arm chair. "Call Michael. What I have to say, you both need to hear."

  With an exasperated little wave of her hand, Suzie made for the back door. "He's by the windmill."

  Physical weariness and emotional turmoil were taking their toll. Kate put her feet on the footstool. Her tired brain began to assimilate bits and pieces of conversations and information into a cohesive whole. This entire plan to move her back to Dallas had been designed and orchestrated by Jim. But why?

  They came through the door, looking like a trio of street urchins, Suzie first, then Michael, hanging onto Sharon's hand.

  An arrow of pain shafted through Kate. She loved them so much! Knowledge pushed the arrow deeper. If she was not careful, she would lose them again. How did she balance her own independence against her desire to secure happiness for her children? "Sit down, and stop looking like I'm going to snap your heads off." How silly and trivial that sounded, like a mother chiding naughty little children. But they were no longer children, they were adults.

  Through a mesh of weariness and frustration, came Belle's words: "Do you know what your problem is, Kate? You spent so many years trying to be Kate the model wife and Kate the perfect mother that you forgot how to be Kate, the woman." From somewhere deep inside she tapped into a reserve of stren
gth she had never reached for before.

  "What do you want to discuss, Mom?" Michael sat across from her.

  "This is not a discussion, it's a statement. I will say it once, after that, the subject is closed." Was that Kate McClure? She sounded so confident, much more confident than she felt. She was only sure of two things. There could be no more protecting her children at the expense of her own well being, and no more parody of Kate McClure, the woman.

  Michael's anxious face reflected his concern. "Suzie said you were upset that we had discussed with Dad the best way to help you make the transition back to Dallas."

  "I'm not upset, Michael. And I'm not going back to Dallas. You must accept that."

  "But Mom," Suzie's plaintive cry floated out into the warm room.

  Kate searched the words that would assert her independence without wounding her children too deeply. "No more, Suzie. I won't argue my case. You have to accept my decision."

  Michael scowled. "How do you explain...?"

  "I don't owe you an explanation, Michael."

  Kate thought they looked like the see, hear, speak no evil monkeys; Michael with one hand over his ear, Suzie wiping her fingers across her eyes, and Sharon with her hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Silence wove through the tension in the room.

  Finally Sharon dropped her hand. "Let me make you some dinner, Kate. You look tired."

  Kate slipped her feet from the footstool, and smiled. "Thank you, Sharon." She followed Sharon toward the kitchen, leaving her offsprings staring after her in stunned silence.

  Michael and Suzie accepted Kate's refusal to return to Dallas, too readily, leaving Kate with the feeling that they were biding their time, waiting for her to let down her defenses before they struck again.

  By the time the countless outside chores had been done, twilight had settled, rolling in like a dusky fog through the trees and underbrush. Kate took Lady and retreated to Cody's camper, where she slept fitfully, through the long night, atop the covers of Cody's bed, with Lady curled up at her feet.

  Even through the long goodbyes that were said the following morning, Kate was tense, waiting for some mention of her refusal to return to Dallas. None was forthcoming.

  Michael and Sharon drove away with the promise to return in the summer.

  Suzie's plans were more specific. "I'll be back in two weeks, Mom, and David will be with me."

  By the time Suzie had driven through the gate, and turned north, Kate felt as if she had been trampled by a herd of longhorns. Thank heavens she had the morning to recuperate before beginning her daily ride. Mamma and Cody should be home by late afternoon.

  With Lady following her every step, Kate walked to the back yard, and sat on a bench under the tall oaks, thankful for some time to herself.

  She had thought that with time and contemplation, she could make some sense of the weekend. Not so, one after another, thoughts chased themselves around in her head, until at last, she despaired of ever making order from the chaos in her mind. What had transpired to cause Michael and Suzie, and yes, even Jim, to want her to return to Dallas?

  "Kate! Kate!" From across the yard, Hank was striding in her direction. "I had about decided you left with Suzie."

  Kate frowned. "Where did you come from?"

  "I rode Diablo over. I have to go up to the line shack." He sat down beside Kate. His spurs jingling as he moved. "Are you alone?"

  Kate nodded. "Just Lady and me." She was glad Hank had put in an appearance. She could tell him she would not be able to make her ride next Friday. "How is Aunt Cat?"

  "She's okay, sassy as ever."

  "She's an old dear." Kate's fingers slid gently through Lady's fur. "She cried all through the wedding ceremony. I know she's never been married; was she ever romantically involved?"

  "Aunt Cat? Yes. She was engaged once. I never knew for sure what happened. Dad told me once that she was jilted. I can't imagine anyone jilting Aunt Cat, and living to tell about it."

  "Maybe they didn't." Kate remarked with caustic humor.

  Hank thought for a few moments. "Maybe that's why it seems to be such a deep dark secret all these years."

  Moments ticked by, as they sat in silence. Finally Kate broke the quiet. "Hank?"

  "Yeah, Kate."

  Kate drew a deep breath. "Do you think Billy Jack could make my ride next Friday?"

  Hank pushed his hat back and scratched the side of his head. "That's a bad day to want off, Kate. I have to be away, that makes us short handed. Is it important?"

  It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that if it weren't important, she wouldn't have asked. "It's important."

  "Damn, Kate, could you take off some other day?"

  Why was he making such a big thing of her asking for a day off? "I want to go to the Cattleman's Convention. They won't postpone it until you can give me a day off."

  Hank stretched his feet out, causing his spurs to jingle. "I should have thought of asking you to go with us. You could learn a lot there." He smiled, as if her attending the convention had been his idea. "I suppose Billy Jack could make the ride for a couple of days. That convention lasts the entire weekend. I hope you've reserved a room. It may be too late if you haven't."

  "If I stay over..." Quite suddenly she decided she would do just that. "I'll make arrangements."

  "Gina's riding over with me. You can go with us, if you'd like."

  His smug suggestion fanned the coals of her smoldering indignation. "That's most kind of you, Hank, but I'm going with York."

  Hank was not a man who readily showed emotion, but Kate's caustic revelation caused his head to snap back, and his lips to thin. "Are you spending the weekend with Taylor?"

  "Take care of Gina, Hank. I can take care of myself."

  Hank's bushy brows knitted together. "You've got a cocklebur under your tail. What happened?"

  "A what? Where?" His crude remark brought her up straight.

  "A figure of speech. God, you are one touchy female. Maybe sleeping with Taylor would soothe your ruffled feathers." His grin was insufferable.

  He was laughing at her, finding humor in her straight laced refusal to go to bed with him. "I told you once, I find casual sex disgusting."

  "Have you ever tried it?"

  She closed her eyes against his searching scrutiny. "No."

  "How can you be sure?"

  She slumped, like a wilted flower. "Can I have my day off, and can we discuss our views on sex some other time? Not that it would do any good. Just because nobody agrees with me doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind about anything."

  Hank raised on shaggy eyebrow. "Rough weekend, Kate?"

  "Worse than that." Kate's shoulders sagged. "My weekend was rotten."

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "You wouldn't understand, It's Michael and Suzie. They gave me a bad time." She wondered, even as she spoke, why she was unburdening herself to a man who scoffed at making promises, and had no emotional ties to anyone.

  "What makes you think I wouldn't understand?"

  "You don't have any children. You've never been married." After brief consideration, she added, "So you don't have an ex to plague you either."

  "I thought he was out of the picture. What happened?"

  His serious response surprised her. She had half expected some flip, offhand comment. "So did I, but it seems his young floozie left him, so now he wants to cozy up to comfortable Kate again."

  Quite unexpectedly, Hank asked, "Is that what you want?"

  "I want my children to be happy, and they want me back in Dallas."

  "Why?" Hank questioned. "Is this for your good, or theirs?"

  She had to think about that. "I'm not sure."

  Hank lifted his head to stare at the creaking windmill. "Would you care to hazard a guess?"

  "I don't know that their reasons are important." Kate studied the ground, and noticed that little swirls of dust caught at her boots when she kicked at a pebble under her toe. "Cody says we nee
d a rain."

  "So you're going to run again." She could feel his eyes on her face. "And Cody's right. We could use a rain."

  "I'm not running. I told them that I was not leaving Paradise."

  "This is not about geography. It's about you not facing up to why, suddenly, your children wants you back in Dallas."

  "It's a long story. For different reasons, they both feel guilty about what happened between me and their father."

  Hank stared up at the whispering oaks. "So their motives are selfish."

  That seemed a cruel judgment. "They don't see it that way. They think they're helping me."

  "And what about what's-his-name? How does he fit into the picture?"

  He intended to push her until she admitted what she didn't want to face. "His name is Jim. He's calling the shots. He's using his children to get to me. And don't ask me why. I don't know why."

  Cynicism pulled Hank's mouth into a crooked grin. "Do you want to try guessing again?"

  This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worst. "Can I have Friday and Saturday off, please?"

  Ignoring her request, Hank asked, "Why are you so afraid to admit, even to yourself, that Jim wants you back?"

  Bolting to her feet, Kate put her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, and stared up at the blades of the turning windmill. "If he does, it's for all the wrong reasons. He thinks he's lost his children's respect and love. If he can get their mother back, he's back in their good graces."

  "Kate, you amaze me." Hank pushed his hat to the back of his head.

  One of Kate's eyebrows pulled down into a half frown. "How?"

  "I never before knew anyone who could take two and two and make themselves believe it added up to five. That takes some reasoning."

  "I don't know what you're talking about." She sat back down beside him.

  "Since you're a hell of a lot better at guessing than you are at reasoning, try guessing again."

  Was he deliberately trying to provoke her? "You are worse than Mamma. Did you know that?"

  "Changing the subject won't change the facts. What you are saying doesn't make any sense."

  "Why not?" Before the words were out of her mouth, she realized that she didn't want to hear his answer.