Moonlight over Manhattan

by Sarah Morgan

  His mother cooked and they ate in the cabin. Several times over dinner he caught his sister watching him, and knew she had questions that no doubt she wouldn’t hold back from asking.

  The problem was, he didn’t have answers.

  His decision to invite Harriet to join him on this trip had been an impulsive one. As it turned out, it had also been a good one. She charmed everyone with her kind, quiet nature and she especially charmed the dogs. They followed her around the resort as if she were the Pied Piper.

  The grilling he’d been expecting came as he and his sister washed up.

  “So—” Debra thrust a dripping plate into his hands. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

  “Nothing.” He dried the plate and placed it back in the rack. “If you’re planning an interrogation, don’t waste your breath.”

  “I like Harriet. No, that’s not true. I love Harriet. She is a sweet, kind, dear person. If you upset her, I will kill you.”

  “Are you always this protective of your dog walkers?”

  “I’ve only ever had one dog walker—” she sent him a look “—Harriet. I don’t want to ever have to replace her, so don’t make me choose because I tell you now if you do that, you’re history.”

  “Nice to know where you stand on family loyalty.”

  She didn’t laugh. Instead, she looked troubled. “Are you going to break her heart?”

  “I hope not.”

  “So what’s going on? What are your intentions? Is this about sex and a home-cooked meal? Or is it something more?”

  “I don’t know what it is. I’m a man. I don’t analyze everything the way you do. But it’s more than sex and a home-cooked meal. And as for my intentions—” Ethan took the plate from her hands “—my intentions are to have the best possible vacation, and make sure she does too.”

  And if he was lucky, that was going to include lots of sex.

  “And what about when you get back to New York?”

  Ethan stood with the plate dripping in his hands.

  He hadn’t thought that far.

  HARRIET CONSIDERED HERSELF to be reasonably fit, but after a week of skiing her muscles ached in places they’d never ached before. And every moment of the day had been filled with activity.

  Some meals they’d eaten with his family, some with the O’Neils, and once they’d eaten in the privacy of their own cabin and then spent the rest of the evening in the hot tub watching snow layer the trees in the surrounding forest.

  Tomorrow was the wedding, which meant that today was the last day and Ethan had told her he had a surprise for her.

  He’d disappeared after breakfast and told her to dress in warm gear and meet him at the end of the path.

  As she eased her aching limbs into her ski gear, she hoped it wasn’t anything that required her to be too athletic.

  She closed the door of the cabin—no one seemed to lock any doors here—and trudged through a fresh layer of snow to the gate where Ethan was waiting.

  She reached the gate and stopped, staring beyond to the trail.

  “You love dogs,” Ethan said, “so I thought you’d love this.”

  “This” was a sled pulled by a dog team of eight huskies. They stamped the ground and howled and barked, impatient and excited.

  Harriet felt a thrill of excitement too. “This is the best thing anyone could ever have done for me.”

  And the thrill she felt wasn’t all a response to the dogs.

  Ethan had arranged this for her. She knew there were endless activities on offer at Snow Crystal, but he’d chosen the one he knew she’d love.

  Her heart gave an uneven thud.

  This wasn’t just thoughtful, it was—

  What was it?

  He introduced her to Dana, the young woman who owned the dog team, and then Harriet climbed into the sled beside Ethan and the dogs, on Dana’s instructions, took off.

  They weaved their way along the main trail and then Dana turned off onto a narrower trail that led directly into the stillness of the snow-covered forest. The trees stretched tall, white sentries lining the path. The overnight fall of snow had added a layer of soft powder to the groomed trail and the surface sparkled under the bright sun.

  The only sounds were the rhythmic panting of the dogs and the rush of the sled as it moved through the snowy wilderness.

  Cocooned in blankets, Harriet watched the dogs ahead of her and marveled at their energy and how happy they seemed. That and the raw beauty of the landscape took her breath away.

  When Dana finally stopped and pulled off the trail it took Harriet a moment to catch her breath.

  “This is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

  Ethan smiled and helped her out of the sled. “Time for a little refreshment.”

  They were in a clearing and she noticed something that looked like a mountain hut.

  “Where are we?”

  “It’s called the Chocolate Shack. And they serve great food, but they’re famous for their whipped hot chocolate.”

  “Hot chocolate?” Harriet tried not to think of her thighs, which was almost impossible since she’d spent the week putting pressure on them while learning to ski.

  “Trust me. It’s delicious. And this place is great. Tyler, Jackson and I used to come here all the time.”

  She could understand why.

  A curl of smoke rose from the chimney and a few skiers wrapped in warm layers were seated at tables outside, a slash of color against a background of white. The sky was Caribbean blue, the temperature arctic cold.

  Despite that, Ethan picked a table outside. “Keep your coat zipped and you’ll be fine.”

  Harriet settled herself in a chair and he was back moments later with brimming mugs topped with swirls of cream and a dusting of chocolate powder.

  Dana had opted to stay with the dogs and Harriet was almost tempted to join her.

  Ethan must have sensed it because he put the mug in front of her. “People ski for miles to sample Brigitte’s Belgian hot chocolate. Taste it, and you’ll see why.” He straddled the chair next to her.

  Sun glinted off his hair and Harriet noticed the group of girls at the table closest to them turn and look at him.

  Ignoring it, she took a sip of her drink, tasted hot velvety sweetness and moaned.

  His gaze flickered to hers, then dropped to her mouth.

  In that breathless moment of unspoken intimacy, she knew he wasn’t thinking about the hot chocolate. And neither was she.

  He leaned forward and wiped away a drop of cream from her lips with his thumb.

  The heat and the tension should have melted every last drop of snow and ice around them.

  Never in her life had she felt anything like this.

  She wanted to freeze time and stay in this moment forever. Blue sky and snow. The dog team waiting impatiently on the edge of the forest. Hot chocolate and Ethan.

  Ethan, Ethan, Ethan.

  A burst of sudden laughter from the girls at the table next to them cut through the tension and Ethan slowly pulled away and reached for his own hot chocolate.

  She noticed his hand wasn’t quite steady.

  His dark brows met in a frown, as if he was puzzling about something and she looked away quickly, hoping that what she felt didn’t show in her eyes.

  Unlike her twin, she wasn’t good at hiding her feelings.

  And right now her feelings were overwhelming.

  Did he know? Had he guessed that her feelings had changed?

  And what exactly were his feelings?

  He’d arranged for her to go dogsledding because he’d known she’d love it beyond anything. No one had ever done anything like that for her before.

  She finished her hot chocolate, wishing that they didn’t have to go back to New York. Whatever happened, it wasn’t going to be like this.

  “We have another hour with the dog team.” His voice was casual. “After that I thought we’d go back to the cabin. As this is our las
t afternoon on our own, I thought we could relax.”

  She didn’t care where she was, as long as he was there too.

  “Is that an indecent suggestion?”

  “Definitely.” There was a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Just doing my bit to help you earn your bad-girl credentials.”

  Her heart pounded a little harder. She put her mug down and stood up. “So what are we waiting for?”

  The rest of the sled ride was as idyllic as the first part and for a moment Harriet seriously considered giving up her job and coming to live here. She had to remind herself that she knew nothing about handling sled dogs, and that her life was in Manhattan.

  And so was Ethan. He was there too.

  And she was determined to make the most of their last day.

  They barely made it through the door of the cabin before falling on each other.

  Trying to remove ski gear wasn’t easy, and there was much laughter and some swearing before finally their warm outer layers hit the floor.

  He pursued her up the stairs to the shelf.

  “It’s still daylight.”

  “Good. I want to see you.” He reached out, stripped off her underwear and tumbled her back onto the bed. “I love you naked. You should never wear clothes.”

  “You want me to show up at a wedding naked? That would be a first.”

  And she wasn’t sure about making love in daylight. Not because she wanted to hide her body, but because it would make it harder to hide her feelings.

  He buried his mouth in her neck and then followed a trail down her body, discovering secret places. Sensation swarmed though her, and she wriggled under him but his hands and his mouth were everywhere. He paid attention to every movement she made, every quiver, every tremor, every moan and every gasp. He drew out the pleasure until she was shivering and shaking with desire and then he was inside her, filling her. He surged into her, his hand beneath her bottom as he drove into her with a slow, relentless rhythm. His forehead dropped to hers and then he kissed his way to her mouth. His breathing was unsteady, his shoulders slick with sweat. She felt the rough scrape of his jaw against the sensitive skin of her throat, and then the erotic stroke of his tongue as he teased the corner of her mouth.

  He demanded everything and she gave everything, not because she’d planned it that way but because she couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t possible to give this much and still hold back.

  “I love you.” The words left her lips without thought or design. She breathed the words against his neck, and then his mouth. “I love you.”

  She felt the tension rip through him. Felt the sudden rigidity of his shoulders as he absorbed her words. If she’d said it at another time it might have changed everything, but they were too close to the edge for him to stop now so he simply thrust deeper, drawing her closer, kissing her and smothering the words until they came together in a rush of heated pleasure.

  Afterward he gathered her to him and held her tightly.

  She waited for him to speak. To say something. Anything.

  But he said nothing, and any secret dream she might have had that he felt the same way, that their relationship might have changed for him too, died right there and then.

  HE FELT GUILTY, leaving the bed before she was even awake.

  He also felt like a coward. After what she’d said to him the night before, she deserved an answer. She’d taken a risk, put her heart out there, willingly making herself vulnerable. She deserved something in return, but he had no idea what to give her. All he knew was that he couldn’t give her what she wanted.

  He trudged through the snow to the farmhouse, opened the door of the kitchen and the heat hit him, melting away the cold.

  It was early, but the room was filled with delicious smells of baking.

  He saw bread rolls and small pastry cases. Gingerbread Santas lay in uniform rows on the cooling rack, waiting to be iced. He was transported back to a time when he and Tyler used to tumble into the kitchen, cold and elated after a day on the slopes, and eat their way through whatever treats Elizabeth had cooked.

  The food and the cozy atmosphere were as much a part of his memories of Snow Crystal as the snow and the skiing.

  Elizabeth was in the process of removing something from the oven. She placed it on a rack and turned.

  “Ethan! You’re up early.”

  “So are you.”

  “I have things to do.” She pulled off her apron and gestured to the table. “Sit down. I’ll make us a coffee.”

  And suddenly he felt guilty. It was her wedding day. The last thing she needed was his problems. “I’m disturbing you. I shouldn’t have come.”

  “Having a chance to catch up with you is more important than anything I’m doing now.”

  She’d always been like that, he remembered. She’d always had time to listen.

  “You shouldn’t be cooking on your wedding day.”

  “I love to cook. I’m doing what I love. And anyway, Élise and the kitchen staff are doing most of it. So what are you doing here so early?”

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  Elizabeth put a cup of coffee in front of him and then poured one for herself. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “What?”

  “Whatever it is that has you wandering along frozen trails when the sun is barely up.”

  “I just—I have a problem. I haven’t decided how to handle it. I thought walking might clear my head.”

  “And did it?”

  “Not so far.” He took a mouthful of coffee. “It’s good. I wish we had this at the hospital.”

  She waited a moment and then sat down next to him, picked up the first Santa and started icing it. “How is the hospital?”

  “Same as ever.”

  “Do you enjoy it?”

  “I guess I must, or I’d be doing something else.”

  “Not necessarily. Sometimes we do things because that’s what we’ve always done. We don’t question it.” Elizabeth placed the Santa on the rack to let the icing dry and picked up the next one. “I like Harriet. I’m guessing you do too, or you wouldn’t have brought her here. Is she the reason you’re awake so early?”

  He put the cup down. He remembered being nine and sitting in this kitchen telling Elizabeth about his plans to be a doctor. Being sixteen and talking about a girl he liked. He loved his parents, but there were things he’d been able to tell his godmother that he would never have been able to talk about with his family.

  “I shouldn’t have brought her here. It was a mistake.”

  Elizabeth stroked icing onto the next Santa. “Why was it a mistake?”

  Because she’d fallen in love with him.

  “By bringing her here, I sent out the wrong signals. Harriet is a home and family person. That’s what matters to her. She runs a successful business with her sister, not because she wants to conquer the world but because she loves dogs and because working with animals is something she’s good at.”

  “I suspect conquering the world might be a little overrated.” Elizabeth dipped her knife in the icing again. “There isn’t one definition of success, just as there isn’t one formula that will make everyone happy. The secret is to know what you want. To know what makes you happy and do it. It seems Harriet knows that. Smart woman.”

  “She is.”

  “And how about you?” Elizabeth’s voice was casual. “Do you know what makes you happy?”

  “I always thought it was my work that made me happy. I accepted that, which is why I haven’t had a long-term relationship since Alison.”

  “What does work have to do with relationships?”

  Ethan stared at her. “Everything.”

  “Since when did a person have to choose between work and a relationship? Is there a law I didn’t know about? Or has Harriet issued you with an ultimatum?”

  “No!” He frowned. “Harriet would never do something like that. She’s not an ultimatum kind of person.”

  “Then what’s th
e problem?”

  He thought about everything they’d shared the night before. “She told me she loves me.”

  Elizabeth put the knife down. “Just to clarify, the bad news is that a warm, smart, kind, incredibly lovely woman loves you?”

  He eyed her, feeling like a jerk. “It’s not as simple as it sounds. I enjoy her company. I like being with her, that’s true. But—” He picked up one of the gingerbread Santas and stared down at it. “I never should have started this, but I didn’t expect it to get so serious so fast. And now I have to find a way to unravel it without hurting her badly.”

  “Why would you want to unravel it?”

  “Because it has no future.”

  “Are you sure about that? You don’t feel the same way? You don’t love her?”

  He waited a beat. “No.”

  “Are you sure? Because watching you together I thought—” Elizabeth put the iced gingerbread back on the rack. “Ignore me.”

  “You’re thinking that I love her too, but I don’t. Honestly? I think there’s something missing inside me—” He put the gingerbread down untouched. “I don’t feel deeply anymore. I taught myself to switch off and detach and now I can’t switch it back on again. And Harriet deserves more than that.”

  “So you’re not making this decision for you, you’re making it for her? Why don’t you let her decide what she needs?”

  “I don’t want to see her hurt.”

  “I’ve known you since you were a little boy and you’ve always been the same. Always first there to save anything injured or damaged.” Elizabeth reached across the table and took his hand. “I knew when I gave you your first Superman costume that you were going to try and save the world.”

  “Yeah, well even Superman struggled to save the world and have a relationship. Relationships are complicated.”

  “Anything that involves people is complicated. That doesn’t mean we should walk away. Have you talked to her about it?”

  “No.” And he realized that while Harriet was constantly forcing herself to face challenges head-on, his own approach was less impressive.

  He’d walked out.

  Elizabeth smiled. “It seems to me, an honest conversation would be a good place to start.”

  “You’re right.” He stood up, gave her a hug and walked out of her kitchen.