'Then why are you so forlorn?' He frowns, his never-ending patience wearing thin. 'When you started out at the Institute, I expected great things, Eve, great things. But recently you've just become so... apathetic.'
I snort with laughter at being described as apathetic. I wish I was apathetic. I wish I didn't constantly worry and stress about everything. 'I'm sorry,' I apologise without expression. 'I'm distracted.'
'By what, or whom?' He asks, exasperated.
'Don't worry about me, Islwyn,' I shake my head, avoiding the question. 'I'm fine.'
I leave Islwyn's office in a hurry, anxious to get to the common room as hordes of students infiltrate the corridors, all rushing to make the most of the morning break.
Tia is already there but shakes her head at me when I make a beeline for her. It isn't a good idea anyway; I'm trying to paint Sir Alec a picture of Tia and I despising one another, cosying up to her in the common room wouldn't exactly help. But she has another reason for warning me to stay back. Meredith is, as always, at Tia's side, but so is a far more sinister, familiar blonde head.
Lucrezia is on her knees in front of the tearful red-head, listening intently to what Meredith's saying. Sheer panic grips me before Tia catches my eye and shakes her head again, subtly jerking it in the direction of the door. I understand her message; Meredith hasn't told Lucrezia what she saw yet, but I need to find Malachy quickly.
Meredith stands, linking her arm through Lucrezia's, ignoring Tia completely as the two new 'friends' glide across the room, heading straight towards me. I duck out of sight, hiding behind a second year before darting to Tia's side.
'She told Lucrezia she was upset by something she'd seen. Something to do with Malachy. She didn't tell her what, but no doubt she will in the next few minutes.' Tia's tone is urgent. I turn, bolting from the common room into the corridor.
I have no idea where Malachy will be. He attends lessons like everybody else, but his room seems to be a good place to start. If Meredith tells Lucrezia about us before I can get to him, not only will Malachy and I be in trouble, but it will throw mine and Lorna's plan completely out the window. I catch him on his way down the stairs, crashing into him in my panic.
'Eve,' He smiles, naively delighted to see me until he registers my face. 'What's wrong?'
'Meredith. She knows about us. She's telling Lucrezia.' I babble, eyes wide and manic. His smile fades as he casts his memory back to the presence in the corridor yesterday.
'I'll talk to her.' He says instantly, turning to find her.
'And say what?!' I almost shriek, eyeing the clock on the far left wall. I have to be at Practical in less than three minutes.
'I'll tell her that Sir Alec wants me to use any means necessary to gain information about Lorna, even if that means being involved with you romantically. I'll tell her Sir Alec doesn't trust you...'
'She won't buy it.' I shake my head.
'She will. I'll make out that you have a silly crush on me and I'm just leading you on. I promise she'll buy it. Go to class.' He urges, kissing me quickly before hurrying back up the stairs.
I turn to run to Practical, my mind racing through fifty different things at once, but halfway along the corridor, I stop and change direction. One thought sticks clearly through the haze of so many others; whether Lucrezia buys Malachy's lies or not, we can't afford for anything like this to happen again.
Lorna and I must leave tomorrow.
*
Lorna is overjoyed to see me as I buzz on the intercom for her floor. She rushes to greet me at the door, hugging me tightly, her chocolate brown hair wet from a shower.
'Where have you been! I haven't seen you for...'
'There's no time for pleasantries, Lorna. We have to go. Tomorrow.' I cut in, breathing in her fruity, shampoo smell.
'Tomorrow?' She frowns, the word exiting her mouth as a gasp.
'Something's happened,' I tell her as we make our way along the hall to her room. 'Something to put the plan in jeopardy.'
'It's Malachy Beighley, isn't it?' She frowns. 'He was using you for information and now he's worked it out. That Auctorita bastard, I knew...'
'Malachy is out there right now trying to fix the situation!' I snap. 'He's trying to help us, not hinder us, so shut up about him.' I warn her. She shuts up, but then a strange smile forms on her lips.
'Oh my God,' She suddenly splutters with laughter. 'You like him, don't you?'
'Lorna, let's focus here...'
'You do!' She squeals. 'Oh God, Eve, you like a challenge, don't you?' She shakes her head. 'The future Auctorita, a shell of a man, an unwilling pet of his sister's and his family's and you had to fall for him!' She shrieks, highly amused. 'You aren't going soft on the plan are you? You're not going to let him convince you to stay? Oh God, he's not coming with us is he?!'
'Right!' I bark, losing my patience along with my temper. Lorna backs away, my sudden anger alarming her. 'You know what, Lorna? Yes, I do like Malachy, I like him a great deal. He means a lot to me and he is risking a lot for me.
Until you came along, my life was going great, then your stubbornness screwed it up. Now I have no choice but to leave with you, and let's not forget that I'm doing it to help you.
So whilst you stand there mocking me for liking Malachy, and protesting about how you'd hate it if he came with us, why don't you try remembering that I'm leaving him behind for you. That I'm doing all this for you. And that a little fucking gratitude wouldn't go amiss?!' My voice slowly creeps up in volume as her eyes widen in shock.
The silence that follows my outburst is deafening and we stand, face to face, immersed in it.
'You're right,' She murmurs suddenly. 'I'm sorry. I am grateful to you, and I'm sorry that you have to leave the people you love behind because of me. I hope you can forgive my stubbornness and understand that I can't and won't be changed willingly, for the sake of my mother.'
'It's okay,' I sigh, slumping onto her bed. 'I think I can speak for everyone in this situation when I say that I wish Sir Alec had never met your mother.'
'You surely can,' She nods, perching next to me. 'Tomorrow's pretty soon. I'm not sure we're ready.'
'We're going to have to be,' I shrug. 'Leaving it any longer is too risky, even if Malachy comes through for me.'
'What do we need?' She asks. I pause a moment to consider.
'Nothing. Walking to the border with three suitcases under our arms will look just a tad suspicious. Of course, some money wouldn't go amiss, but I suppose beggars can't be choosers.'
'Excuse me?' Lorna frowns. 'Who said I was a beggar? My mother was a Duchess, remember?' She smiles, jumping from the bed and rooting around under it. She pulls out a brown leather bag and opens it to reveal neatly bundled bank notes, crisp and brightly coloured.
'There's a little over fifty thousand Euros. My mother left it to me, I grabbed it the day Sir Alec took me.'
I grin, kissing Lorna's cheek and hugging her almost as tightly as she hugged me. 'Thank you, Marcheline!' I laugh.
'Yeah,' Lorna sighs sadly. 'It should have been a lot more. It's all probably still sitting in a building society somewhere, but I can hardly waltz into the bank and demand it, can I?'
'Might look a bit suspect,' I agree. 'Right, we meet at second period in the entrance hall. Use all the back routes, the unused corridors, I'll do the same. They'll start looking for me first; I'm supposed to be in Theory.
We'll cross the grounds, chatting and acting casual. Hopefully someone will see us from the windows and they'll turn a blind eye to my skipping class as I'll be with you.
If we get stopped as we near the border it's; Oops, we didn't realise how far we'd walked, silly us! And we try again the next day. If we don't get caught, when we reach the border, you jump on my back and I'll jump the fence.
Then it's make it up as we go along time. My only rule is that no matter where we go or what we do, we do it fast.
Agreed?'
'Agreed,' Lorna nods, grinning like
a maniac. 'I can't believe we're really about to do this!' She squeals. 'I've waited so long!'
'Well, let's not start celebrating just yet,' I warn her, sliding off her bed. 'I have to go, I've got something to take care of. Second period, don't be late.' I point a finger at her and she nods as I slip silently out of her room.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
As the lift reaches the fourth floor and the doors slide open, I can barely control my breathing. If Lucrezia hasn't bought Malachy's excuse, Lorna and I can kiss our freedom goodbye forever. I know for a fact that if Lucrezia so much as thinks Malachy has feelings for me, her first move will be to get rid of me. She's done it once before, why not do it again?
I step out into the corridor and breathe a sigh of relief to find it empty. I strain my ears for any presence but all of the rooms are vacant, except one. Though I know Malachy's alone, I daren't approach his door. He told me to meet him outside the lift, so by all accounts that's what I'll do.
A few seconds pass before his door swings open and his searching eyes come to rest on mine. He flashes me a smile and I feel a warm, floaty sensation in my stomach. When he smiles, his face transforms – perhaps because it happens so rarely – and he appears younger, innocent and carefree – like a child.
He nods once and I scurry towards him. I'm barely over the threshold before his arms are around me, crushing my ribcage and clamping me to his chest. My body responds instantly, pulling him closer as my lips hungrily seek out his, desperate to taste him, to be as close to him as possible. His fingers curl into my hair and he walks me slowly backwards towards the bed, navigating whilst never removing his lips from mine.
As we near his bed, I stop, pushing him away despite the desperate, burning desire flaming in my chest.
'What's wrong?' He mumbles against me as I break – reluctantly – away from his embrace. He looks gorgeous in a black shirt and black jeans, the dark material in stark contrast to his pale skin and platinum hair.
'Did you speak to Lucrezia?' I ask, trying to ignore the warm feeling in my lower abdomen when I look at him. He nods. 'Did she buy it?'
'She bought it.' He smiles, nuzzling into my neck. His scent washes over me and I breathe it in deeply, closing my eyes and allowing myself, just for a moment, to become lost in him.
'What did you tell her?' I whisper. I feel him sigh before reluctantly answering me.
'That Sir Alec told me to become close to you in order to gain information about his daughter. He doesn't entirely trust you and he wants me to keep an eye on you.'
'And she believed that? Won't she just go and ask Sir Alec herself?'
'Of course she believed it,' He replies irritably. 'In Lucrezia's world, no-one can be trusted. To her, it's the most plausible thing. And no, she won't ask Sir Alec; she knows that in his eyes, it doesn't concern her.' He explains slowly but impatiently.
I nod and he waits, regarding me silently for a moment to make sure I don't have any more questions. When I don't speak, he smiles and gently pushes me back onto the bed. His hands caress my frame, sending hot shivers down my spine and making my thighs burn.
'Malachy?' I speak into his soft hair. He ignores me, hoping I'll shut up. 'Mal?' I push him gently away again and he growls with frustration.
'What is it?' He asks, trying to keep his cool.
'I have to tell you something.' I mumble, feeling the floaty sensation in my stomach churn into fear as Malachy's expression changes to one of anger.
'Don't say it, Eve.' He warns.
'What?' I ask feebly, dreading the answer.
'That yesterday was a mistake. That you and I are a mistake.'
'No!' I breathe a sigh of relief. 'Of course not!' His face relaxes and he leans into me again.
'Then what's wrong?' He frowns, taking my hands. I run my thumb along his smooth skin, keeping my eyes down.
'I'm leaving tomorrow, Mal.' The sentence is barely more than a whisper and I'm half-hoping he hasn't heard. His expression tells me he did.
'What?!' He booms, so loud that I glance nervously at the window, hoping no-one's standing below. 'What do you mean, you're leaving tomorrow?' He stands, dropping my hands like they're hot coals.
'Come on, Mal. You didn't really think I'd abandoned my plans to leave, did you?' I try to sound nonchalant but I end up sounding timid.
'No,' He shakes his head. 'I knew you would leave eventually. Soon, even. But not this soon!'
'Well... why prolong the inevitable?'.
'Oh, I don't know. Because of me, maybe?' He splutters sarcastically.
'Malachy, I have to leave!' I stand, losing my temper at his selfishness. I don't want to leave him any more than he wants me to but I have no choice. 'Lucrezia bought your story for now, but how long is it until she starts prying into my life? Finding reasons to report me? She's probably brain-storming ideas right now!'
'She's not brain-storming ideas!' Malachy tuts.
'How do you know?' I hiss. 'She did it once before, didn't she? And I know she isn't the sharpest pencil in the box but she's not blind, she can see my resemblance to – ' I hesitate. 'She can see the resemblance just like everybody else.'
'So?' He widens his eyes.
'So, she must have a suspicion that you're attracted to me, even if it's only because of... the resemblance,' I don't want to say this sentence, don't even want to think it, really, in case it's actually true. 'Who knows if she even really bought your excuse? Maybe she's just biding her time.'
'She's not – '
'But still,' I interrupt him. 'It'll only be a matter of time, and I can't risk it.'
'But Eve...' He starts to say something, then shakes his head, looking defeated. He slumps down on his bed and I perch next to him, feeling nervous. Malachy is usually so held-together, so rational and quick thinking. To see him so unsure of himself, so lost for words, seems wrong.
'I love you.' He shrugs, knowing that it's not enough to stop me.
I look at him, his blond head hung, his hands clasped tightly together, as if holding them that way will keep everything from falling apart, and I try to contemplate what it will be like to leave him behind.
The thought wrenches my gut so fiercely, I struggle to breathe. I am sad that I must leave Tia, Diana and Richard behind, desperately sad, but the thought of never seeing Malachy again is something else. My chest aches with pain and longing.
'What am I supposed to do when you go?' He asks in a voice that doesn't sound his own.
'Stick to your plan,' I reply firmly, trying to hide my own emotions. 'Become Auctorita, save Aleks, save me and above all; change this world for the better. I want that more than anything. Don't just do it for Aleks, or me or even yourself, do it for all of us.'
He places his head in his hands and his shoulders slump, signalling defeat. I hate to see him this way, but I'm glad I don't have to spend what could be our last moments together arguing.
I don't want to be without Malachy; I want to spend every waking moment with him, and the fact that I never could, not in a million years, only makes me want it more.
In that moment, I know, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, what I perhaps knew all along but was never willing to admit – even to myself.
I take his hands away from his eyes and force him to look at me, though he tries to pull away.
'Malachy,' I squeeze his fingers, trying to get him to hold on properly but he keeps his grip slack. He won't look at me, but maybe that makes it easier. This isn't something I planned, this isn't something I'm familiar with, and if I'm honest with myself, this is the scariest thing I've ever done.
'I love you.' I say it as firmly as I can, looking straight into his eyes though he won't meet them.
As I say the words, I realise more than ever that they're true, and that if I hadn't said them – aloud and to his face – before leaving, I would have regretted it for the rest of eternity.
He glances up at me finally, his expression sceptical, and regards me closely to see if I'm telling the
truth. Something in my eyes must tell him that I am as he suddenly crashes his lips against mine, gripping my face so hard that if I were human, he'd be breaking bones.
It takes me a moment to catch up – his reaction was so unpredicted – but once I have, I give into my body's urges completely. I claw roughly at his shirt, tearing it out of my way until I feel the smoothness of his skin against my fingertips. He pushes me backwards onto the bed and I pull him with me, revelling in the feeling of his weight on top of me.
I open my eyes to find his hair fanned around my face like a halo, his gaze piercing mine, completely unafraid.
Without our shirts on, his skin on mine is like silk, draped across my bare chest as his strong arms wind around my back. I flip over so that I'm sitting astride him, and pin his arms down on the bed. His expression is quizzical, but he doesn't try to break free of my hold as I stop for minute to look at him.
The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) Page 40
