In the Middle of Nowhere

by Julie Ann Knudsen

  He took very special care of this very special tree by watering, fertilizing and pruning it whenever he was supposed to. The tree did grow far and wide and my mother relished the cool breeze that awaited her every time she sat underneath it.

  It was under this very same tree that my mother told my father she was expecting their baby, the same tree where her belly grew bigger and bigger as each month crept by. All the while this special tree continued to grow and shelter my mother and the unborn child inside her.

  It was no surprise then that when my mother delivered a healthy baby girl, they both knew, instinctively, that they would call me Willow.

  My mother and father hated leaving their special Willow tree behind when they decided to sell our home after James was born because the house had become too small. My father snipped off a piece of the branch in order to make it into a sapling hoping that it, too, could grow and thrive in our new backyard.

  Unfortunately the tree never took root nor grew as he had planned. My mother didn’t have as much time to read anyway with a young daughter and a new baby. Regardless, my father had promised her that someday he’d plant her another special tree, just like her favorite Willow from years before. But, like most young fathers, life got too busy and he never got around to it.

  As I laid my head back and closed my eyes, I remembered the story of my name. Willow, Willow tree, a special tree, I thought. I must have dozed off because before I knew it, my mother was gently shaking my shoulder to wake me.

  “Willow, dear, wake up. We’re here.”

  • • •

  All bundled up, my mom and I walked around the streets of Portland. Even though the temperature never reached above thirty-four degrees, it felt much warmer as the sun shone brightly during what would normally be a gray and gloomy winter day.

  We went to most of the stores where I had gift cards and I ended up buying some really cute outfits. My mother and I even stopped and grabbed a bite to eat at an artsy café where I recognized students from school working behind the lunch counter. I had thought about getting a job now that I was sixteen and shared this with my mom.

  “Mom, I was thinking about filling out applications on the island so I can earn some spending money.”

  “As long as your grades don’t suffer, Willow.” She took a dainty bite of her turkey croissant.

  I sipped my raspberry iced tea as I contemplated the right words to say. “The only problem is that there aren’t many places for teenagers to work over on Pike’s. I was thinking it might be easier to get a job over here in Portland.”

  My mother stopped chewing and stared at me. “Don’t even think about it. It’s far too dangerous for you to be taking the ferry back and forth by yourself, especially at nighttime.”

  “But—“

  “No buts, Willow!”

  I rolled my eyes and should have known better than to ask. I thought my mom would welcome the fact that I wanted to earn some of my own money so I didn’t have to ask her for any. She probably just wanted to keep me stuck home so I would always be available to babysit my annoying brother.

  The clanking of dishes, glasses and silverware were the only sounds I heard in that busy café because my mother and I chose to finish our lunch in complete silence.

  • • •

  After hours of shopping and walking around the city, I was actually exhausted. It was after five o’clock and we were going to catch the next ferry back to Pike’s, but my mom wanted to stop in a pharmacy to buy some antacid first.

  I held the pharmacy door as she entered.

  “Poor Mr. Rob—I mean Brian has been experiencing some severe stomach problems lately,” she said as I walked beside her. “I promised I’d pick up some medicine for him.”

  I shuddered inside. Did I really need to know the trouble going on inside my mom’s boyfriend’s digestive system? I didn’t want to hear any more gory details so I told my mom I’d wait for her over by the magazine rack.

  I was flipping through a fashion magazine when a tall, dark movement caught my eye. I looked toward the pharmacy counter and saw a boy dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt and black jeans pay the pharmacist for his purchase. He collected his change and quickly headed toward the exit. From behind, I could have sworn it was Michael.

  Without thinking, I ran across the store toward the disappearing boy. I pushed open the glass door and looked around. The street was bustling with activity and I couldn’t find any trace of him. I searched all around, but could barely see above the heads of the others on the sidewalk.

  I gave up and went back inside the store. As soon as I entered, a man approached me and took me by the elbow.

  “Come with me please, young lady.”

  He identified himself as an undercover police officer and was told by a worker that I had run out of the store without paying for a magazine, a magazine that I still clutched firmly in my hand.

  “No. You don’t understand! I was just looking at it and only ran out of the store because I thought I saw somebody I knew. I planned on putting it back.”

  “Well, maybe you’ll follow through with your plans better next time.”

  The man tried to bring me toward the back of the store, but I yelled. “Stop! Please! Let me get my mother!”

  We were making a scene and started to cause a commotion. Other customers stared at us and I was really starting to get scared. I didn’t want to go anywhere with this guy. Why would I have stolen a stupid magazine of all things? He wouldn’t listen to me and kept dragging me toward the back. Just then my mother spotted me and ran over to the two of us.

  “What is going on here, Willow!?” she demanded.

  I started to cry and tried tell my mom what had happened. As I stammered my defense, the whole room seemed to get unusually hot. I suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy and desperately wanted to sit down. I tried to tell them this, but I couldn’t get the words out. All of a sudden everything around me became blurry and my mother’s stunned and confused face was the last thing I remembered before the blackness consumed me and sent me crashing to the floor.

  CHAPTER

  SEVENTEEN

  I was so embarrassed, so completely and utterly embarrassed. After I foolishly fainted and finally came to, I had a lot of explaining to do. My mom stood next to me as I sat on a brand new folding chair borrowed from one of the store’s aisles.

  “This is just a big misunderstanding, sir,” my mother defended me to the officer. “My daughter has never stolen a thing in her life and why would she start now, when she’s on a shopping trip with me?”

  My mother held out her two arms, which were draped in bags. “It’s not as though we can’t afford a measly magazine!”

  The officer let us go with a warning. I couldn’t wait to get out of that store. Some shoppers stood around and gawked at us, while others went about their business. We were in such a hurry to leave that my mom forgot to buy some antacid for Brian and, of course, I had to hear about it the whole ferry ride home.

  “This is all your fault, Willow! Now I’m going to have to drive out of my way to stop at a pharmacy for Brian once we get back to the island.”

  I turned away and stared out the window and watched as a seagull swooped down and effortlessly snagged a shiny, flopping fish for dinner.

  “What were you thinking?! I don’t care that you saw a friend from school. Use your brain. Never walk out of a store with merchandise, no matter how inexpensive.”

  Even though the air was chillier now that the sun was down, I wished that, I, too, could have flown away, far away from my mother. I would skip eating the raw fish part, though.

  We finally got back to our house after making a detour to pick up some pink stomach medicine for Brian. My mother was so overwhelmed by my ordeal that she and Brian just had to go to dinner alone so she could relax and unwind. She told us not to wait up for her. Why would she and Brian be out so late? Were the two of them going to stop over at his place after dinner for a quick romp in the hay
? Ewww, I was making myself nauseous just thinking about it. I had to stop.

  In the meantime, James and I were stuck with two choices; either leftovers or frozen pizza. Neither appealed to me, so I heated up pasta and sauce from the night before for James and, afterward, headed up to my room.

  I wasn’t in the mood to eat anything because my mother had gotten me so upset. Not once had I ever given her a reason to worry about me and she acted as if I committed grand theft auto, a video game that James was dying for, but my mom said was way too violent for him.

  I signed on to my MyWeb account and was checking out what other kids were up to on the weekend while I sat home, once again, and babysat. Just then I got an instant message from Tessa.

  “Wanna hang?” it read.

  I was just about to type “no,” but thought better of it. Instead I typed, “Where?”

  “Rocky is having a get-together over at his house tonight.”

  Rocky Johnson was a senior, the captain of the football team and the hottest guy in the whole school. He was about 6’3” and had the best body ever. He had thick, dark brown hair, a perfectly chiseled face and looked like a Greek God. Erica and Taylor thought he was gorgeous, too, and one day, during lunch, we nicknamed him “The God.” If I spotted him in the hallways, I would feel myself getting flush immediately, even if I stared at him for only a few seconds. I felt as though my innocent lust for him would be written all over my face and that everyone around me would be able to read it, including him.

  I couldn’t believe that Tessa was inviting me to a party at his house. What would Rocky think if Tessa showed up with me? Who else would be going? Other girls or just guys? What, in the name of “The God,” would Erica and Taylor think about this?

  Again, I was about to respond, “no,” but wrote something so uncharacteristic, even I couldn’t believe it. “When can you pick me up?”

  “I’ll head over in about ten,” Tessa answered.

  I slammed my laptop closed and pushed it far away from me as if it might infect me with some sort of incurable virus. What the hell did I just do? I told Tessa that I would go to a party with her to the home of one of the hottest guys on the planet. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Who was this stranger staring back at me?

  I quickly realized there was no turning back. I jumped up and ran over to my closet to try and figure out which new outfit I would wear to the party. My initial doubt disappeared and was replaced with intense mixed feelings of both anticipation and dread; a combination I had never felt before in my sixteen years and one week of life.

  • • •

  I looked in the mirror and was quite please with what I saw. I had on a pretty, lacy navy blue top with a matching blue cami underneath and a pair of expensive London Edge jeans. All the girls in my school wanted LE jeans, especially after tons of celebrities were photographed wearing them. The only problem was that you could only buy them in specialty boutiques.

  Luckily, Portland had one such chic shop called Salsa. Two of the girls at my party had given me gift cards from there and I used the birthday money my grandma had sent me to cover the difference in the cost of the trendy denim. My mother had said that she was “dumbfounded” that I would waste so much money on one pair of jeans. I wanted to tell her that she was acting like half of that same word without the “founded” part, but I didn’t dare. She probably would’ve slapped me.

  I hadn’t had time to take a shower, so I re-straightened my hair and put on a minimal amount of makeup. I thought I always looked prettiest if I looked more natural than heavily made up. I cleaned up my room and fussed with my bed and comforter.

  I did a final check in the mirror, and once I was pleased with the product, grabbed my cell phone and keys and headed downstairs. I now had to deal with the biggest, yet scrawniest obstacle that was going to come between my night out and me.

  • • •

  I stood directly in front of the television and waited for it.

  “What the heck are you doing?” James wailed. He stood up and tried to push me out of the way. I had braced myself and didn’t budge.

  “Listen! I’ll make a deal with you.”

  “Get outta my way first!”

  “No. I need your undivided attention.”

  “Fine.” He put down his controller. “Hurry up!”

  “I’m going out tonight and was gonna leave you by yourself.”

  “So,” James shrugged. “You’ve done that before.”

  “Yeah, but last time I got caught.”

  My brother got defensive. “That wasn’t my fault!”

  “I know. Sorry. But tonight you’re gonna have to tear your butt away from your video game and into bed before mom gets back. Remember, she said that she’d be home late.”

  “What if she checks on us?”

  “That’s simple. You’ll be in your bed, hopefully asleep and I stuffed my bed with clothes to make it look like I’m in it. Then I’ll just quietly sneak in after Mom’s asleep.”

  James nodded his approval and became very thoughtful. I could hear the wheels churning in his head.

  “What’s in it for me?”

  I knew this moment would happen and, luckily, had already thought out a payment plan.

  “I’ll buy you the Grand Theft Auto video game, as long as you never let Mom see you playing it.”

  James squinted his eyes and sized me up.

  I added, “And if this works out tonight, there might be other new video games in your future if I ever decide to sneak out again.”

  He didn’t hesitate and stuck out his hand. “Deal.”

  I shook his hand and said, “Deal,” at the exact same moment Tessa blared her car horn. I grabbed my coat, ran outta there as fast as I could and, fearing regret, didn’t dare look back.

  CHAPTER

  EIGHTTEEN

  I had to pinch myself a couple of times. I couldn’t believe I was on my way over to Rocky Johnson’s house with Tessa, at what was sure to be a memorable and exciting night. Kids would talk about various parties throughout the school year and Rocky’s always seemed to be the most legendary.

  His parties were different. Unlike most teenagers, who waited until their parents were away, Rocky’s parents were always in attendance and encouraged kids to hang at their house and party, as long as they didn’t drive home. They were really cool.

  I had to take slow, deep breaths once I climbed inside Tessa’s car. I wanted to act all casual in front of her and not let her see how extremely nervous I was, not only for going to Rocky’s, but also in hopes of being able to sneak back into my house after escaping.

  Tessa glanced at me. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “You do, too.”

  Tessa cracked the car window and lit up a cigarette.

  “I thought you weren’t supposed to smoke in your mom’s car?”

  “I’m not, but she barely drives it and if she ever did say it smelled like smoke, I would just blame you.”

  Tessa smiled and gave me a wink.

  “Thanks a lot,” I said.

  I wanted some questions answered about the big night. I needed to remain calm and act unaffected by her answers.

  “So, who else is going?”

  “Not sure.”

  “His parents are gonna be there, right?”

  “Dunno.” She blew a mouthful of smoke out the window. “Who cares who’s gonna be there as long as we are?”

  “Where does Rocky live?”

  “Over on North Shore.”

  “Where’s that?”

  Tessa looked at me, appalled. “On the north shore. Duh!”

  “I can’t help it if I don’t know my way around the island.”

  “Well you better get familiar with it soon or you’re gonna end up driving into the ocean by mistake some day.”

  “I’m not that stupid,” I shot back.

  Tessa took a deep drag and let it out slowly. “We’ll see about that.”

  I shook my hea
d at her rudeness and stared out the window at the darkness that surrounded us, while on my way to a high school party at Rocky “The God’s” house, a high school party I had absolutely no business attending.

  • • •

  If it was even possible, Rocky’s house was bigger than Tessa’s. I couldn’t tell for sure how much, but we had to be buzzed in at a stunning wrought iron gate before traveling up the steep driveway.

  The house was so huge, it seemed as if it were actually three separate houses all connected. The only way I could tell in the dark was from the glowing windows scattered throughout the massive residence. What the heck was I doing here and when was the appropriate time to text Erica and Taylor about my adventure? As Tessa parked the car, I decided I’d wait and see how the night unfolded before I told the girls all about it.

  I followed Tessa up the cobblestone walkway. The moonlit sky illuminated the expansive front lawn revealing colossal contemporary sculptures made from bent steel and wood. Some even seemed to stand taller and wider than my uncle’s tiny house.

  We stood and waited in an enclosed brick entryway as Tessa rang the doorbell. We could hear loud music coming from beyond the gigantic, weathered double doors.

  Just when Tessa was about to ring the bell again, the front door flew open and a very tall man greeted us with a wave and a huge grin. I knew immediately it was Rocky’s father. He was a handsome, older version of his son.

  “Welcome to the Johnsons’, young ladies! I am Mr. Johnson, but all the kids call me Johnny.”

  Johnny stepped aside so Tessa and I could enter. Rocky’s foyer was, for sure, bigger than my whole house over on Juniper Drive. I looked around and saw kids milling about, boys and girls. I recognized most of them from school and each of them had some sort of drink in their hand.