Unrequited

by Jen Frederick

  His swollen erection bobbed between us, and for a moment, my breath caught at the beauty of him. His body was cut and defined, which I attributed to the years of hard labor and not gym membership. The slabs of his abdomen were sprinkled with dark hairs that narrowed into a line that led directly to his cock. Across his chest the hair was thicker, but not so much that I couldn't see his beautiful skin underneath, the dusk of his nipples and the ridges made by his pectoral muscles.

  "You're beautiful," I said, reaching out to touch him. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back in pure pleasure as I took the time to explore each one of his hard muscles.

  "See something you like?"

  "Like is such a tepid word," I repeated, and a slight grin curved his lips upward. "Winter loves Finn's hard body. She enjoys it enough that she thinks it should go up on a calendar. The Many Months of Finn O'Malley."

  His chest shook with silent laughter. "She'd like a calendar?"

  "Yes, with lots of nudity." I slid off the desk to my knees and rubbed my hands up his powerful thighs then around his hips to dig into the tight muscles of his ass. His cock sported a drop of liquid, and as I stared, the whole shaft seemed to swell and the pearl of his arousal beaded up large enough to drop off. I caught it with my finger and brought it to my mouth.

  A rough noise above had me looking up. "You take my breath away."

  He reached down to cup my face and draw me upward, but I didn't want that. Not yet. I took his shaft in my hand and marveled at the velvet-covered steel. It was harder than the beam I’d leaned against earlier but softer than the anything I've ever touched.

  He held still as I stroked him first with my hands, tracing each pulsing vein and caressing the head. He shuddered when my finger rubbed the spot underneath the head, and when I placed the flat of my tongue there, his knees jerked and he stumbled back until his ass hit the desk.

  I hid my grin and sucked the fat head into my mouth until I heard him groan. His hand came to cup my head, and he made shallow thrusts into my mouth. I allowed him to use me, savoring the musky scent and the salty flavor. I lapped at his length as it moved in and out of my mouth. When his thighs began to shake and his movements became rough and irregular, I sucked hard, wanting him to lose all control.

  But with a quick jerk, he had me on my feet. I wiped the corner of my mouth. "I wanted you to come."

  "I know, but I can't." He stopped. His words weren't altogether coherent, as if he was too far gone to be able to form actual sentences and complete thoughts. "Need to be inside you."

  He spun me around and ripped my shorts down. I heard the rip of foil, and then two strong fingers were between my legs. "You’re so wet, baby. So ready for me," he moaned and then shoved inside me with one swift push.

  The frantic movements and the near desperate sounds as he pounded into me from behind drove me wild. Was there anything more exciting in the world than hearing your partner lose his shit because he found you so incredibly hot? No, nothing.

  His hand roamed my back and butt, slapping me slightly on the ass cheeks and then squeezing. "Fuck," he said. "I want to bite your ass and fuck it at the same time." He laughed at his own absurdity, and then his other hand crept around to find that tiny mass of nerves extruding from my body. His calloused fingers rubbed over it, the lube of my body making everything slick and wet.

  I rose onto my tiptoes and pressed down against his fingers. "Yes, right there," I shouted. Let the river dwellers hear me. I couldn't care less.

  "God, you look so beautiful. You're tight and pink, and your pussy looks like it’s swallowing me every time."

  He wound a hand tightly around my hip, so tight I was sure to have marks tomorrow, but I loved the bite of his fingers into my skin. His other hand worked my clit until I lost control. Mindlessly I moaned and shoved back against his thrusts and ground down against his hand.

  He worked me feverishly until I was crying out, and even after I'd come around him, he still surged relentlessly into my body, spilling what seemed like a gallon of seed into his condom until he collapsed against me.

  We lay there, sprawled on the top of his desk, papers everywhere—some even stuck to my chest and face—like wrecked ships. The insistent tone of my phone broke through my haze. Reluctantly Finn leveraged himself off me. He came back with paper towels and a water bottle.

  "All I've got, sweetness," he said apologetically. He wet the cloths and then wiped my legs down, careful not to rub my tender parts too roughly.

  "Why do you do that?" I asked. I'd never had any guy so interested in aftercare.

  He rose to his full height, close to the ceiling of the trailer. "Because I love you and want to make sure you're taken care of." I gasped and covered my mouth. Luckily for me, he didn't take offense. "Surprised you, did I? You shouldn't be though. I'm not fucking around with you. You're first wife."

  Then he winked. I launched myself into his arms and assaulted him with kisses, saying everything I was too terrified to give voice to. I was saying it though. In my head, those were the only words I was saying.

  19

  FINN

  The evening in the trailer was about the last time I had Winter to myself. Her phone kept ringing. Of course it was Ivy, who needed Winter to pick up some ice cream on the way home. Ivy had a craving. I did too, one that required Winter to come home with me where I could take her in my bed.

  But she was too happy for me to make a big deal out of it. I figured I'd see her the next night or the next. But between my work, her new apprenticeship, and Ivy's near constant demands on Winter's time, I was lucky to see Winter an hour a day. Sometimes we had lunch, which more often than not ended up being furtive finger banging and dick sucking in the backseat of my truck.

  I couldn't convince Winter that no one would see us having sex, and we didn't have enough time to leave and go to either one of our respective apartments. To say I was sexually frustrated was an understatement, but even beyond that, we just didn't have enough time to spend with each other.

  Ivy was acting like an asshole. Today she'd come in and tried to shove her tits in my face.

  "I drove by your house the other day. Pretty sweet place you have there. And this." She waved her hand, gesturing toward the row of plaques on the wall. "Best General Contractor four years running, according to the Business Record. Think you'll hit that magical fifth year now that you're at the helm?"

  "You're a big button pusher, aren't you?" I could tell she wanted me to start yelling, and despite the sting from biting my tongue, I managed to keep a civil tone. She didn't respond right away but sat back in her chair, looking me over and over as if trying to assess me.

  Something shifted or clicked in her head, and she lost her ill-temper like a dog shaking off water. Instead, she smiled at me—a thousand watt, plush-lipped smile—that I think was supposed to cut me off at me knees. I crossed my arms and waited for act two.

  She leaned forward, crossing her arms. The gesture had the effect of lifting and pushing her breasts together. The V-neck of her T-shirt, which looked identical to the one Winter had been wearing and I'd had my hand up last night, gaped so that I was treated to a view of her cleavage. She was curvier than Winter—taller, bigger breasts, blond hair. For a while that had worked for me, but I realized my tastes had completely shifted. I preferred hair as dark as the midnight sky and eyes a deep brown. I loved Winter’s small breasts, her fat nipples, and slender body. She fit me perfectly, not just physically, but in all the other ways that mattered a hundred times more.

  Her tender heart and her patience with me, even when I was short-tempered and rude, were attributes I didn’t know I needed until I’d begun spending time with Winter.

  "You certainty found the buttons to push that night." Her voice had become husky and inviting. On an objective level, I could appreciate that Ivy Donovan was an attractive package. Her hair was honey blond, bordering brown, and it was carelessly tousled in a way that I remember a couple of my girlfriends complaining took ho
urs to achieve.

  "Is that how you remember that night? Because I remember being passed out drunk and waking up to you being passed out drunk." My own recollection was a complete blank. No matter hard I tried, my night ended at the parking lot of the children's aquatic center that sat across from the Woodlands. The next thing I remembered was waking up next to her at about one in the morning. I'd called Adam. He'd come and picked me up, and we’d drove Ivy to some random address out north that she'd given us when we finally shook her awake. It wasn't the apartment that she shared with Winter. A small girl named Tanya had answered the door and allowed us to carry Ivy in and leave her on the sofa.

  When I got home, I’d immediately inspected my dick. It looked soft and unused. And to be on the safe side, I took myself to the clinic the following day. Results mailed to me three weeks later indicated I was clean of anything.

  "I remember that you felt strong when you leaned over me. I remember the thick veins in your arms when you braced them by my head." She leaned forward even more. "I remember the thick feel of your cock inside me, and you moaning in my ear how good and juicy I felt."

  I was completely and utterly unmoved. "How many of the guys Winter dated have you done this to?"

  Something like shame passed like a cloud, but she shook it off and came back for a second round. "Winter's a sweet girl, but she doesn't have it in her to handle a man like you."

  This time I leaned forward so I was almost close enough to kiss her forehead. Triumph gleamed in her eyes. Too bad for her that it would be transitory.

  "I think you overestimate my studliness and underestimate the charm of your sister. I love her. Even if you were having my baby—which you’re not—it won't change how I feel about her. Now cut your act and tell me exactly what it is you want from me."

  Like a switch, her sultriness was turned off and her sneer returned.

  "Love? What the fuck do you know of that? I want you to leave us alone. Winter is always wanting to be with you, and I need her. You don't. You've got your friends, and you can get any girl you want. Just leave her alone."

  "No."

  She said other things, but I walked out. I texted Winter.

  Dinner tonight?

  Can't. I'm actually tattooing someone tonight. Just a small tattoo on someone’s ankle, but I'm already dying of anxiety.

  Want me to come hold your hand?

  No I think that I'd be even more nervous.

  Miss you.

  God, miss you too. Gotta run.

  I stayed away from the trailer, and when construction closed down for the night, I called Adam. "I'm not up for partying at the house tonight. Want to hit some baseballs?"

  We had a houseguest—a Marine friend of Noah and Bo's. He was a good guy, but Noah and Bo were convinced they had to throw a party every night. And tonight, the last thing I needed was company. I was in a shit mood and figured if I could slam the leather off some baseballs, I'd be able to sleep without going over to Winter's apartment and mauling her.

  Batters Up was a batting cage and bar. Six cages and a platform to hold your beer pitcher. Genius. Adam didn't bat. He made sure the pitcher was full while he took drags on his e-cigarette. He was trying to quit smoking.

  "What's the deal?"

  "I think Ivy is cock blocking me."

  "How so?"

  I hit another eighty mile an hour fastball before turning to Adam. "Because every time I ask Winter to stay over, Ivy invents some excuse involving the baby. She's sick or the baby is moving or she's worried she's spotting. She's got a thousand different medical emergencies, and Winter runs every time she's called."

  "So go over there and spend the night."

  "Tried that. Ivy kept banging on the separating wall, telling us to tone it down and that she was trying to sleep. Winter's bed is cheap as fuck and makes a ton of noise. So we tried the floor, and we were still too loud."

  Adam nodded. "Yeah, she's cock blocking you, but why? She still want in your jockeys?"

  I thought about the heavy come-on earlier in the day. It was calculated and had no sexual intent. "No, I think it has to do with the fact she doesn't like that Winter would rather spend time with me than her."

  He took a long draw and blew out the smoke. We both watched it waft in front of his face and then evaporate into the air.

  "What's the best case scenario?"

  "From whose point of view?" I asked.

  "The fuck? Yours. I don't care about the other two."

  I bristled and pointed the bat at him, "Don't talk like that about Winter."

  Adam smirked. "See, choices are already being whittled down."

  "Ideal scenario? Winter pregnant with my baby."

  Adam's mouth dropped open, and the cigarette hung precariously on the edge of his lip. I resisted the temptation to grind it below my boot before it fell and started a fire on the Astroturf. If e-cigs could do that. I didn’t know.

  "That's not the response I thought you'd give."

  "What would it be?"

  "No one being pregnant."

  "Yeah, okay, I could live with that one too." I set down the bat and walked around the net. He handed me a drink, and I drained it but the alcohol didn't make me feel better. It never did. "Remember that night, the one right after Dad died?"

  "The one where you passed out in your truck with Ivy?"

  "That's the one. She's saying we had sex that night, and I'm the baby’s daddy."

  He whistled. "Holy shit. I'm guessing that neither of you has said a word to Winter?"

  "I don't believe it's true for a second. I was fully clothed. She was fully clothed. Did we look like we'd had sex?"

  He squinted hard trying to remember that night. "No, it smelled like a brewery inside there, and you were both at the opposite sides of the truck. So if you had sex, you must have hated it because you weren't anywhere near each other."

  "Right. None of it makes sense. She's lying for some reason, but what if she tells Winter?"

  "You ought to tell Winter first. Tell her about that night, what Ivy's saying, and just lay it all out there."

  "How happy do you think Winter is going to be that I got drunk with her sister?"

  "Happier than if she found out you’re her sister's baby daddy."

  We stared at each other and then, because the situation was absurd, we laughed. Mine was a sickly laugh. "Good point."

  "Let's have a party. We'll invite Ivy, and while she's being occupied, you take Winter up to your room and explain what happened. That way Ivy can't cock block you, and you'll get the truth out there."

  "I don't know," I said slowly trying to examine the idea from all angles.

  "You got a better idea?"

  "No."

  Adam shrugged. "Problem solved."

  20

  WINTER

  Crib shopping was demoralizing. I had no idea how much baby shit cost. Even Ivy appeared a little shell-shocked. We ended up buying a damaged floor model. The legs were banged up. Too many strollers, the sales guy explained. He dismantled it and helped us load it into the back seat of the car. We didn't buy anything else because we couldn't afford it. Not the hundred-dollar car seat or the bottles that cost five dollars apiece. The price of formula nearly had us passing out in the aisle.

  "You're thinking I've made a huge mistake by not having a termination, aren't you?" Ivy said, breaking the silence halfway home.

  I weighed my words before replying. "Not exactly, but I think we were or are clueless about the cost of these things. I don't know how Rachel has managed to raise three kids on her and her husband's salaries."

  "What's her husband do?"

  "Works at the tire factory."

  Ivy made a pfft noise. "There's your answer. One of us needs to get a union job. Tanya's boyfriend works a union job and makes really good money."

  "Is Tanya the girl who lives in the house with the lawn gnomes?" I'd had to pick Ivy up there after she'd gone on a bender.

  "Yep."

  "Tha
t place looked like a hellhole¸" I said, recalling the brown grass, dirt patches, and the bedroom with the mattress on the floor.

  "He just bought it, and it's an actual house, not an apartment. Here's the real problem with our system, Winter. They send us out into the world, tell us not to get in trouble again, but if no one is willing to hire you, what are you supposed to do?" Ivy said bitterly. "I'm knocked up and working at a shit job but mostly relying on my sister to work two jobs to support my fat ass. I made enough running a few errands for Anton to pay for formula for six months."

  "Ivy, stop it." I was alarmed. Anton was a drug dealer she'd been wrapped up with before she got sent to prison. "We're going to be fine. Finn is paying you a good wage, and you have health insurance now."

  "Finn's an asshole. I'd rather fuck Anton for money than have to endure nonstop silent judgment from Finn every time I went into work. The only good thing Finn has going for him is the fact he's got money."

  I pressed a hand against my forehead. She was relentless in her criticism of Finn, and I didn't really understand it. "I'm sure he's not judging you."

  She snorted. "You keep referring to him as if he's a good guy, but, Winter, good guys do not get lit up, fuck girls, and then forget about them."

  I wished I'd never told her about how Finn and I reconnected. "He was not lit up. He was at a café, and he was drinking coffee. And he pursued me, remember? If anyone ran away, it was me."

  "Oh, your phone was ringing off the hook for the months of March and April? You must have missed telling me that part of the story."

  "First, he'd lost his father, and he was grieving. He told me that he'd made some poor decisions, and I believed him. Second, he did text me and call me after a few weeks but I ignored him."