Mango Seasons

by Michelle Cruz Skinner

  “She’s good,” Luz always tells me. “You’re lucky.”

  Even now that Luz doesn’t work for them anymore, they’re good to her. Ate paid to send her to sewing school so she’s able to make money sewing. Since she can sew at home, she takes care of Nanay and the baby. Whenever I visit, she has a few customers come by. They try on their clothes in the bedroom and I hear them giggling and talking to Luz.

  I like to look through the clothes Luz has finished. She keeps most of them hanging on a rack next to the couch. Once she pulled out a fancy red gown that was dark, like a rose. It came over one shoulder with a big, red rose of fabric. The back was gathered so it fell in soft pleats.

  “What’s it for?” I asked.

  “A beauty pageant.”

  Luz laid it across the others so we could look at it.

  “Whose is it?”

  “Oh…” Luz laid the dress on her sewing table and picked up the bottom edge to check the seam. “No one you know.”

  “Do you think she’ll win?”

  Luz looked up from the hem. “Maybe.” She laughed. “She will if she wears this dress.” She straightened out the dress and checked the bra cups. “Could you feed Junior?”

  “Sure.”

  I usually take care of the baby and Nanay when I’m there so Luz can attend to her work and customers. Nanay likes to see the baby, so sometimes I take him into her room and we sit on the edge of the bed and talk. Bert put up a curtain across part of the living room, so Nanay’s bed is behind it. He even got two old dressers from someone and Luz put all of Nanay’s things in them.

  Romy has never visited me yet when I’ve gone home. Sometimes I sit in a chair, Nanay coughing from behind her curtain, and I wish I could think of something else to do than wait.

  I even wait for his letters, although I know better. Every day when the mail comes for Kuya and Ate, I check for a letter. A few days ago there was one for Ate with no return address. I knew it was from the man I’d seen her with. He came to the house a few times with Kuya. A coworker. But I didn’t say anything and stuck the letter underneath another, so it wouldn’t give her such a shock sitting on top of the pile.

  Everything seems a little slower here. Hardly anyone comes to the house now. I’m especially glad we never see Ate’s brother and sister-in-law anymore. The sister-in-law was always watching what I was doing and telling me what to do. Naty always grumbled while she was visiting. Naty doesn’t like being told what and how to cook.

  Some afternoons Kuya takes Emil to the basketball court and they shoot baskets. Sometimes Gemma and I walk down with them and watch. He tried to teach Gemma to dribble, but the ball was too big for her to handle. So he bought her a child’s basketball and she plays with that. She can’t shoot yet, though, because the basket is too high.

  The children told me Kuya used to play a lot of basketball when he was in college. He’s good, too. When the other men and boys in the neighborhood hear the basketball, they show up hoping to play a game. There are enough of them, they should buy their own ball.

  That’s just what Romy does, though. He waits for someone to show up with a basketball instead of saving enough for his own. Or else he talks others into buying things for him. I’ve bought him I-don’t-know-how-many shirts and a new pair of Adidas sneakers. He’s always talking his kumpadres into buying him a bottle of beer or giving him a cigarette. “Loan lang, pare,” he’ll say, joking because they all know better. And when he tries on the T-shirts he likes and smiles… He just has such a sweet way it’s hard to say no.

  Maybe that’s how the man who wrote Ate is. He would have to be because Ate is too nice for any other type. He’s dark and handsome with a nice smile. In the park that day, when Romy and I were walking back to catch our jeepneys, I saw Ate with him. I stopped at a fountain to wash the ice cream from my hands and when I looked up I saw them. They were across the lawn, standing under a tree by the sidewalk. I don’t know if they were talking, but Ate kept her head bowed and her arms were crossed over her chest. Then she gave him something she had been holding in her hand and walked back to her car.

  When I got home she was already there, of course. Kuya said she was resting in the bedroom and she’d left some things on the kitchen counter for Naty or me to put away. Ate is stronger than I am. That man has a nice smile and in the park that day he looked so sad I could have cried. I don’t know, though. Romy does that sometimes so that I don’t really know how he feels.

  But I miss going places with him on my Sundays off and holding his hand. Here, I don’t have anyone to go out with. I don’t even know where to go in Olongapo. Sometimes Naty goes out with me, but she usually just stays in our room, ironing her clothes and listening to the radio.

  Naty’s not bad. She’s just old and a little sour sometimes. She hates if anything is put in the wrong place, so I don’t mess up anything in the kitchen. At least in our bedroom we each have our own drawers so I don’t have to worry about putting something in the wrong place. Talking to her can get kind of difficult too because she has to say something about everything.

  But I’ve tried talking to the maid next door and she’s not very friendly. I’m not even sure what her name is. Vangie or Angie, I think.

  The first time I went out on Sunday, I watched a movie then went to Rizal Triangle Park and read a comic that I bought from one of the vendors there. Now I do this almost every Sunday. I found out Rizal Triangle is where the curfew breakers have to stay. The PC men take them to one side of the park and they have to wait there all day, in the concrete area in front of the stage. The PC stand around in their faded uniforms holding guns and watching them. Sometimes the curfew breakers have to do exercises, jumping jacks and other things. I used to try not to watch them. But I couldn’t help myself and besides, everyone else watches. That side of the park is hot, too.

  Gemma’s terrified of curfew. Some children at school told her that the sirens meant the aswang were coming out of their hiding places. So now whenever she hears the sirens she’s afraid the aswang are coming to get her. Ate was comforting Gemma one night when Gemma jerked her head and hit Ate in the face. Gave her a bloody nose. Marisa told Emil and Naty and me about it the next morning. That Marisa likes to be the first to tell things.

  I told Gemma that if she said her prayers before she slept, the aswang couldn’t get her. And her nanay said yes, that was true. So now Gemma makes sure to say her prayers every night. She even taught me one that she learned in school. The “Glory Be.” Her nanay has already taught her the “Our Father” in English and Tagalog. She’s really smart.

  Kuya tried to explain to her what curfew is. But I don’t think she understood it. So one day, on the way home, I took her and Marisa to Rizal Triangle. “See.” I pointed to the people in front of the stage. “Those are the bad people who weren’t home by midnight.”

  “Maybe they got lost,” said Marisa. “Or the jeepney broke down.”

  “True…” I said. We watched the people do some jumping jacks and touch their toes. “Maybe they’ll be more careful next time,” I told the girls.

  Marisa told her nanay about it when we got home. I was a little worried that Ate might be angry. But she just looked at me then back at Marisa and didn’t say anything.

  Romy used to worry me when he stayed out past curfew. Worried his nanay, too. Sometimes she would have his younger brother sneak over to our house and ask if Romy was there. But he never was. I don’t know how he managed never to get caught.

  I saw his younger brother the last time I was home. At the sari-sari store. We talked a little as we walked back and I was surprised to hear he was fourth year high school already. “So what are you going to do when you finish?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe go to Saudi if they’ll take me.”

  “Bert’s in Saudi,” I said, although he probably already knew that. I felt I had to keep talking. “So, what’s Romy doing?” I tried to sound casual.

  Romy’s brother got a look on h
is face, like he was embarrassed. “Oh, not much. You know.” He tightened his grip on the pack of cigarettes he was carrying. “He’s OK.”

  When I got home a man was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of water while Luz sewed. “Hi,” he said when I walked in.

  “Hi.”

  “This is my sister Mila,” Luz said. She had to take the pins out of her mouth to speak, but she kept sewing. “She lives in Olongapo. She’s a maid with the same family I used to work for. Very lucky, too. They’re good people.” Luz gestured behind her. “This is Manny, Bert’s cousin.”

  “What’s Olongapo like?” asked Manny.

  “OK. It’s not so crowded as here.”

  “Is it true there are clubs everywhere?”

  “Only on Magsaysay and the streets near it.”

  “But you don’t go there, do you?” He said this as if he was my older brother and I had to smile.

  “No.”

  Manny smiled, too. He took another drink from his glass, then asked Luz, “When’s Bert coming back again?”

  “April,” she said. “I never know the exact date. Mila, why don’t you slice up an apple and let Manny try some.”

  I was a little surprised because apples are scarce. But I know now that Luz likes to show off in front of family. She likes everyone to see how well they’re doing. So I took out one-of the apples Kuya and Ate had sent over. While I sliced them Manny washed his hands and I noticed that even after washing, he still had black in the creases. He saw me looking and said, “Hands of a mechanic. No matter what I do, I can’t get rid of the dirt.” I felt bad for looking. Then he said, “Let’s see your hands.” I shook my head, but he insisted. So I held them out, palms up. He placed his hands underneath mine as if he was holding them up. “Much prettier than mine. Like an advertisement for Palmolive.” My cheeks got warm and I took my hands away.

  “What about a seamstress’s hands?” asked Luz.

  “Since you’re sisters, probably the same. But Mila’s are smoother.”

  “How do you know?”

  “She’s younger.”

  Luz shook her head. I let Manny have the first slice of apple.

  “Good,” he said.

  It was cold from the refrigerator and sweet. Luz even stopped her sewing to take a slice. She had me give one to Nanay, but Nanay was sleeping. Manny told us stories about Bert when he was younger and Luz laughed so hard she had to stop her sewing.

  “I’m going to stitch your mouth shut,” Luz threatened. After he left she told me he had a girlfriend named Gloria. “Two years now,” she added as if I had ever thought of Manny that way.

  I wish Ate would let me take the children to the movies. But I know I can’t ask that. And I can’t get Naty to go with me anymore, not after I told her about that man who frightened me. A few months ago when I went, a man kept edging closer and closer to me, one seat at a time. He had long hair and dark eyes I could hardly see. I was afraid he had a knife. I got up and hurried down the row, stepping on some people’s feet. “He looked like a druggie,” I told Naty.

  “What kind of movie was it?”

  “It was a romance!” I couldn’t believe she was asking me this.

  “Well, you should be careful what kind of movie you go to see. Some of those romances are indecent. They’ll show just about anything. Most of the ones made today are that way.”

  But I wasn’t going to stop watching romance movies. Now I just sit on the end of the row so I can get out easily and without making other people mad.

  Not long ago, on the way home from school, Marisa and Gemma begged to see the movie at the Kimara. It was one of those Herbie the Love Bug movies. “Your nanay and tatay may want to see that as a family,” I told them. So when they got home they asked their nanay right away if they could all go see the movie that weekend.

  “Mila said…” Gemma told their nanay.

  “I said your nanay and tatay might want to see it,” I corrected, emphasizing the “might.”

  “That’s a good idea,” said Ate.

  “Can Mila come, too?” asked Gemma.

  Ate looked at me.

  “I have work to do,” I told Gemma. “But you can tell me about it afterward.”

  That made her happy and she went to her room to change out of her uniform.

  Saturday, when they came home from the movie, Gemma told me all about it, but her story was confusing. Ate said I should see the movie on Sunday, so I did. Kuya and Ate really are good, like Luz said.

  The weekend Bert came back they sent me home with more apples. They didn’t know Bert was coming back since no one was really sure about the date. So the apples were just lucky. “Kuya has some friends on the base,” I explained to Luz. “That’s how he gets so many apples.” Manny came by and we all had dinner together and Ate sliced apples after.

  “Still doing well in Olongapo?”

  I nodded and started picking up the plates.

  “Oy, Manny,” said Bert. “There’s basketball on tonight,” he said and flipped on the TV. So Manny went to sit on the sofa with Bert. Luz sat behind them at her sewing table, looking through her dress design magazines and watching the game.

  As I was putting the rinsed dishes in the dish drainer, Manny came back into the kitchen. “So how long are you here this time?”

  “Only until tomorrow. I have to take the noon bus.”

  “Oh. Well, when are you coming back?”

  “In a month.”

  “A month,” he said. I kept my eyes on the dishes. “That’s a long time that I won’t see you.”

  Bert yelled. “Manny! They’re breaking away. They’re taking the lead!”

  “Don’t yell,” said Luz. “You’ll wake the baby. And you might startle Nanay.”

  “Maybe we can see a movie next time you’re here,” Manny said to me. Then he went back to the sofa.

  Bert talked to him before he left. They stood outside by the gate so I couldn’t hear anything they said. But I didn’t see Manny again until yesterday, when we went to Bert’s uncle’s house for New Year. He smiled at me kind of embarrassed and I almost cried.

  A few days ago, I went to Midnight Mass with Kuya and Ate and the children. Naty and I sat with Emil in the pew behind Kuya, Ate, Gemma, and Marisa. The church was crowded so we couldn’t all fit in the same row. Gemma sat between Kuya and Ate and fell asleep on Kuya’s lap. He looked at her and smiled. He tapped Ate on the shoulder and nodded at Gemma. She smiled, too, and he put his arm around her shoulder and they sat that way for a little while, with the candles and the noise of all the people around them.

  Elena’s

  Marriage

  I don’t know why, but sometimes when I look at Elena I think I’m looking at my future. Not that we resemble each other because we don’t. I don’t want to be like her because most of the time she’s just not here with us and I think that’s sad. She smiles her dreamy smile as if she doesn’t know what’s happening around her.

  Emil told me she’s pregnant and that’s why she and her Lola Auring came to stay with us. Mama didn’t even know they were coming until yesterday when they showed up at our gate. Elena was carrying a blue suitcase that she set down beside her in the living room. The suitcase was a little boy’s blue. Her Lola Auring did all the talking.

  This evening Elena made dinner. Mama kept saying no, she didn’t have to, but she did anyway. She made soup and adobo. I think maybe her lola made her cook because her lola was in the kitchen the whole time telling her what to do. Emil had six pieces of chicken. He eats too much, that’s why he’s fat.

  After dinner Elena said she wasn’t feeling well and went to bed. Her face was flushed, like she was hot from doing the cooking. I don’t think Auring’s nice to her.

  I don’t like Auring. She was Mama’s yaya and she keeps telling us about how Mama used to be small. “I remember the time we curled her hair for the Santacruzan,” Auring says. Papa’s the only one who’s not listening. He’s reading the newspaper at the din
ing table across from Naty and Mila who are eating their dinner.

  Mama, Auring says, had the prettiest curls, but cried when they put the hairspray on. Ma is looking at her fingernails, but I think she’s listening. If I were her, though, I wouldn’t want to listen to Auring tell embarrassing stories. Now she’s telling about Mama’s doll collection, the one Lolo gave her. “Dolls from all over the world,” she says. “Do you still have those?” she asks Ma. But Ma doesn’t say anything right away. I think she doesn’t want to answer.

  “Lolo buys earrings for Gemma and me,” I say. I show Lola Auring the red flower ones I’m wearing.

  She tells me the earrings are pretty. Then she shows me how to sit, with my legs crossed and knees close together. “Like a lady,” she says. “See how your nanay sits?” When she turns away, I uncross my legs. Mama looks at me and I know not to do any more.

  Later, when Gemma and Emil and I are in Emil’s room I say, “I don’t like Auring.”

  “She’s got rotten teeth,” says Gemma.

  Emil’s lying on a mattress on the floor reading a magazine. Lola Auring and Elena are staying in the room Gemma and I share, so Emil had to give us his bed. Mama told him he had to because he’s older.

  “Don’t pee in my bed,” he says without looking up from his magazine.

  “We won’t,” I say. But I know he’s talking to Gemma. She still pees in her bed, but she won’t admit it. Gemma’s got baby-soft hair and I’m combing it for her when Mama and Papa walk into the room.

  Mama always kisses Gemma good night even though Gemma’s already seven and getting too old for such things. Gemma doesn’t seem to mind though. I think she likes it.

  “How long will they be here?” Papa asks Mama.

  “Only a week,” Mama says.